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  #11  
Old 12-Mar-17, 18:16
dbrouchard dbrouchard is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

Thanks everyone for the responses. So helpful to know I am not alone.

some of you have said I shouldn't have sex if I don't get pleasure out of it, and here are my two thoughts on that-

1- I've never actually had sex, so I am not POSITIVE I wouldn't like it. Given the fact that regular porn does nothing for me and I can't get it up when trying to get there with a girl I feel like I know it isn't my thing, but I don't know for sure. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too in my head at this point.

2- The reason I'm so concerned with this is that most girls do want sex. And I want a relationship with a woman and everything that comes with it. Just instead of getting our release through sex I'd rather wrestle. THat's the problem I'm having.

Anyways, just wanted to clarify those things but otherwise thanks so much to everyone for the VERY helpful responses.
  #12  
Old 12-Mar-17, 18:43
enigma enigma is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

You're definitely not alone, I basically could have written your post when I was your age.

As to whether or not you should identify as asexual thats something only you can figure out but there are people out there who identify as asexual but have a fetish. Do a little googling and you'll find threads on various sites with people similar to you. Theres even an asexual group on fetlife bdsm group on fetlife.
  #13  
Old 12-Mar-17, 18:46
al89 al89 is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dbrouchard [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
1- I've never actually had sex, so I am not POSITIVE I wouldn't like it. Given the fact that regular porn does nothing for me and I can't get it up when trying to get there with a girl I feel like I know it isn't my thing, but I don't know for sure. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too in my head at this point.

2- The reason I'm so concerned with this is that most girls do want sex. And I want a relationship with a woman and everything that comes with it. Just instead of getting our release through sex I'd rather wrestle. THat's the problem I'm having.
It's pointless to assume what they want or don't want until you even really know them. Women are different just like men are different. Just focus on whether you like the girl or not and then once you're comfortable enough explain her what exactly it is that you want and see how it goes. And if she wants sex then try it out and you'll see if you like it or not. Don't think about what women like or not because you'll just come across as insecure, you need to feel like your fetish is the most normal thing on the planet instead of being ashamed about it or having doubts. People are attracted to confidence more then anything.
  #14  
Old 12-Mar-17, 18:57
Lastit Lastit is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

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Originally Posted by enigma [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
You're definitely not alone, I basically could have written your post when I was your age.

As to whether or not you should identify as asexual thats something only you can figure out but there are people out there who identify as asexual but have a fetish. Do a little googling and you'll find threads on various sites with people similar to you. Theres even an asexual group on fetlife bdsm group on fetlife.
If you jack off to a fetish you're not asexual. You have sexual energy and release, asexual is just people who have no serial attraction whatsoever.
  #15  
Old 12-Mar-17, 19:23
al89 al89 is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

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Originally Posted by funwrestler [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
It will just make your sexual life a bit harder than the one of the non-fetish, average Joe. Why? For you will need to find females ready to wrestle or to let you express your fetish.
In my experience it's also harder to get "motivated" to make moves and flirt with girls and take them out. Someone who just wants sex knows that he'll eventually get what he wants and it's easier for them to fall in love, but if you want to wrestle and all that there's a good chance you'll just waste your time with all the dates and everything and get nothing. Harsh but true. For me to start making a move and flirt with a woman she needs to be like extra hot or something or have some really great personality so that if nothing else at least I get to walk around with a hot woman and look good in public or have a fun time, otherwise I'm just not motivated to date since I have so much work. Now if I knew that every girl would want to fullfill my fetish in the way I want I'd be just asking out everyone and be in relationships constantly. But I'm just too picky now. Also, I'm quite big and like to date tall women so that wrestling is more real and believable, I'm just not into small women no matter how cute they are so that again counts plenty of them out.
  #16  
Old 12-Mar-17, 19:26
enigma enigma is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

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Originally Posted by Lastit [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
If you jack off to a fetish you're not asexual. You have sexual energy and release, asexual is just people who have no serial attraction whatsoever.
Many people identify as asexual because they aren't sexually attracted to people but that doesn't mean they're completely sexless.

I definitely was surprised to see that people identified that way but usually it was a case of them not being attracted to people so much as they were to certain acts, situations, or things. In other cases they had sexual fantasies but had no interest in ever acting any of them out. He said he's attracted to women so I doubt he falls into that category (nor do I) but I thought it was worth bringing up.
  #17  
Old 12-Mar-17, 19:31
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schatten_PhD schatten_PhD is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

I agree with Zweig. You're a fetishist, not asexual. I'm a little similar to you, but it sounds like I enjoy vanilla sex more than you. To each his own.

Get your partner to try to be on top during sex, hold you down, talk dirty to you, etc. - that could help.
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  #18  
Old 12-Mar-17, 20:52
brooksie brooksie is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dbrouchard [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Thanks everyone for the responses. So helpful to know I am not alone.

some of you have said I shouldn't have sex if I don't get pleasure out of it, and here are my two thoughts on that-

1- I've never actually had sex, so I am not POSITIVE I wouldn't like it. Given the fact that regular porn does nothing for me and I can't get it up when trying to get there with a girl I feel like I know it isn't my thing, but I don't know for sure. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too in my head at this point.

2- The reason I'm so concerned with this is that most girls do want sex. And I want a relationship with a woman and everything that comes with it. Just instead of getting our release through sex I'd rather wrestle. THat's the problem I'm having.

Anyways, just wanted to clarify those things but otherwise thanks so much to everyone for the VERY helpful responses.
I'm going to offer advice that differs from a lot of what has been given so far. The fact that you've never had sex is a key factor. I think you should give yourself a chance at a normal sex life and one of the things you have to do (IMO, of course) is to ignore your fetish for a while. Try to develop some normal relationships with women.

Most relationships begin once you've gotten to know someone, not by going out and "picking up" a girl. I assume you're attracted to fit, athletic, somewhat muscular women. You could join a gym, get involved in a co-ed sports league or other activities that would increase your odds of being around such women. To me, your fetish doesn't have that much bearing on whether you can or can't have a good relationship or a healthy sex life. I mean, think about it. There's no way a relationship can be based on the desire for wrestling only. That's just not a strong enough foundation. You'd be better off looking for someone who you like - truly like, not just because you think she might be enjoy wrestling. If you pick a woman who likes sports, is athletic and build a relationship based on trust, the wrestling will likely come. If it turns out that she does find it weird or strange, you can deal with that and there's been some good suggestions about how to break that ice.

But since you're young (I assume) it's important to put things in the proper perspective. Remember, this is YOUR fetish, not hers and a relationship involves mutual respect between TWO people. It can't hinge on one partner's sexual fetish. The best thing you could do is stop feeding the beast. Get rid of the influence in your life for a while. Don't watch any videos, try not to think about it and realize it's not something you can base a relationship solely on. It can be introduced later but you're got to start looking for other things about women that interest you. I mean, think about it. Say you ask a girl out, it goes well, you go on another date and eventually you hook up. You still have to do all the other things any other guy has to do to maintain a healthy relationship and that means it can't be all about you and your fetish. You're still going to do what "regular" people do, go out to dinner, movies....have friends over....whatever. Even a relationship that includes regular wrestling still has lots of other elements to it.

Maybe none of this will matter. You might decide you actually are asexual (it happens) or you might not want to be in a regular kind of relationship with a woman. But if you are just starting out in life, I think it's important you give yourself a chance to find out for sure. Putting the desire to wrestle as your number one criteria for getting involved with a woman will make that difficult. As much fun as wrestling is, it isn't everything when in comes to having a girlfriend or wife, it can't be. You both are still going to live normal lives, have jobs, friends, social/family obligations and so on.
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  #19  
Old 12-Mar-17, 22:35
funwrestler funwrestler is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]: Great reply. I would just add a nuance. When you are as young as dbrouchard, I guess you have already fantasized for so long to get a chance to experinec your fetish that it might be hard for you to decide to put it on hold for some time. You may even look at it as your next most important step or goal in life: experiencing the dream thrill, at last. For most people, it is discovering sex. For some others, it is experiencing their fetish.

Another aspect is that fetish - in a way - are a reassuring way to have sex without having sex. No penetration. No blending with the other's sex. In other words, see wrestling as soft sex: body on body positions with no penetration.
  #20  
Old 12-Mar-17, 23:08
brooksie brooksie is offline
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Default Re: Am I asexual if I only like mixed wrestling?

Quote:
Originally Posted by funwrestler [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]: Great reply. I would just add a nuance. When you are as young as dbrouchard, I guess you have already fantasized for so long to get a chance to experinec your fetish that it might be hard for you to decide to put it on hold for some time. You may even look at it as your next most important step or goal in life: experiencing the dream thrill, at last. For most people, it is discovering sex. For some others, it is experiencing their fetish.

Another aspect is that fetish - in a way - are a reassuring way to have sex without having sex. No penetration. No blending with the other's sex. In other words, see wrestling as soft sex: body on body positions with no penetration.
Good point. I just re-read the original post and noticed his age, which I missed the first time (cataracts are really getting bad). 24 is older than I would have guessed, so you may be right about it not being a simple matter to put the fetish aside.

To the OP, if you're in a position to have a session with an experienced wrestler, that might be the best thing you could do. That way you'll find that even the women who do this professionally are, basically, normal females who like the same things other women do. It may help you to develop some perspective and get out of your head, which is a problem I think you've successfully identified.
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