Go Back   Male vs Female | The Mixed Wrestling Forum > Mixed Wrestling & Fighting > Wrestling & Fighting Discussion



Check out the latest release by Fight Pulse: Bianca vs Andreas.
Preview photos are available in this topic. Get this video at: Fight Pulse - MX-251.




Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 07-Jan-17, 02:44
Dave loses every time Dave loses every time is offline
Senior Member
Points: 3,257, Level: 23 Points: 3,257, Level: 23 Points: 3,257, Level: 23
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 185
Thanks: 1
Thanked 264 Times in 104 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

Don't know if you can call 2 mos a "relationship". When I was your age I would have ran, not walked away. Even if she agreed to allowing you seeing session wrestlers she'll be resentful. Lots of fish in the sea Kid.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-Jan-17, 06:37
crazycrazy crazycrazy is offline
Member
Points: 4,826, Level: 29 Points: 4,826, Level: 29 Points: 4,826, Level: 29
Activity: 23.8% Activity: 23.8% Activity: 23.8%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 329
Thanks: 553
Thanked 326 Times in 170 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

I think the smartest course of action is to listen to your own response to the advice you've received. Raoul gave you a good response, and you seem to agree with it. But remember, the long term for a relationship is a lifetime, and if you're not getting what you need, you'll be unhappy.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to crazycrazy For This Useful Post:
  #13  
Old 07-Jan-17, 07:56
mixed mixed is offline
Member
Points: 8,296, Level: 39 Points: 8,296, Level: 39 Points: 8,296, Level: 39
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 610
Thanks: 451
Thanked 686 Times in 302 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

I think you should set your priorities in a relationship beforehand. Compare this one to the previous ones and see how they're fulfilled by her.

Do you want someone with the same mindset as you? Has that been easy or hard to come by? I find that more important than sex, because you'll be looking and talking to that person much more often than having sex with her. I don't know how easy is it to find nerdy girls in your country. In the society I was raised, it was extremely hard to find one and even then most of them were ugly.

Speaking of which, nerdy girls tend to be non-standard, open-minded and more into guys' stuff. If she doesn't know what this fetish is about, I suggest you show her videos and pictures. Try to find out what her main concern is and show her the most harmless videos you can, even the ridiculous ones. Those with obviously fake punches and knockouts. She may be afraid of getting hurt or doing it wrong. Show her it can be done as a sketch, as a role-playing game. If she finds it laughable, she may give it a try. Let her be in control, as if she just wants to punch your belly or get into a SGP. You can escalate from there, as long as you take her consent.

Good luck.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mixed For This Useful Post:
  #14  
Old 07-Jan-17, 13:05
Naji's Avatar
Naji Naji is offline
Administrator
Points: 864,862, Level: 100 Points: 864,862, Level: 100 Points: 864,862, Level: 100
Activity: 61.9% Activity: 61.9% Activity: 61.9%
Last Achievements
Award-Showcase
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Gender: Male
Location: Prague
Posts: 14,286
Thanks: 12,797
Thanked 115,688 Times in 9,926 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

Maybe she doesn't realize how important this is for you? Have another conversation, maybe. But this time don't "mention" it, but talk about it. Show her something. I think she might not have a full understanding of what this is. If she still says she can't indulge, I think breaking up is the best option. Indulging each others fantasies indicates love and shows that you care about the other person and his / her happiness.
__________________
[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] | [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] | [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] | [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] | [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] | [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] | [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Naji For This Useful Post:
  #15  
Old 07-Jan-17, 13:17
RyonaGuy's Avatar
RyonaGuy RyonaGuy is online now
Member
Points: 12,053, Level: 47 Points: 12,053, Level: 47 Points: 12,053, Level: 47
Activity: 9.5% Activity: 9.5% Activity: 9.5%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Location: Ireland
Posts: 253
Thanks: 311
Thanked 732 Times in 163 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

Quote:
Originally Posted by mixed [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I think you should set your priorities in a relationship beforehand. Compare this one to the previous ones and see how they're fulfilled by her.

Do you want someone with the same mindset as you? Has that been easy or hard to come by? I find that more important than sex, because you'll be looking and talking to that person much more often than having sex with her. I don't know how easy is it to find nerdy girls in your country. In the society I was raised, it was extremely hard to find one and even then most of them were ugly.

Speaking of which, nerdy girls tend to be non-standard, open-minded and more into guys' stuff. If she doesn't know what this fetish is about, I suggest you show her videos and pictures. Try to find out what her main concern is and show her the most harmless videos you can, even the ridiculous ones. Those with obviously fake punches and knockouts. She may be afraid of getting hurt or doing it wrong. Show her it can be done as a sketch, as a role-playing game. If she finds it laughable, she may give it a try. Let her be in control, as if she just wants to punch your belly or get into a SGP. You can escalate from there, as long as you take her consent.

Good luck.
Thanks for the lengthy, well thought response thing is we get on very well with each other and our relationship in every other aspect is pretty great. We always have a good time when we're together.

And yeah for some reason Northern Ireland seems to have an abundance of cute, nerdy girls, a fact that I am eternally grateful for
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 08-Jan-17, 01:48
Jason052 Jason052 is offline
Member
Points: 5,033, Level: 30 Points: 5,033, Level: 30 Points: 5,033, Level: 30
Activity: 2.1% Activity: 2.1% Activity: 2.1%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 114
Thanks: 138
Thanked 126 Times in 57 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

I'm not crazy about a lot of the advice people are giving here on this topic. I believe that getting to the point in a relationship where each person feels comfortable enough to disclose their innermost fantasies is huge. There's no reason to end a relationship because she doesn't get turned on by your Kink, just as she shouldn't end the relationship because you are not necessarily turned on by her kink. What's important is for each of you to accommodate the other person's fantasies. That means that even if she's not into it she should sit on your face and do other things that turn you on. And you, in turn, because you are so grateful to her for what she's given you, will do the kinds of role play that she's interested in. That's the give-and-take which goes into any relationship and applies across the board to sex as well as other matters couples deal with on a daily basis. It's called compromise, and if you are really lucky then you may graduate to a place where she will actually be turned on doing this for you. In fact it's very likely that's exactly what will eventually happen
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Jason052 For This Useful Post:
  #17  
Old 08-Jan-17, 02:06
KillerCrushes's Avatar
KillerCrushes KillerCrushes is offline
Producer
Points: 27,496, Level: 72 Points: 27,496, Level: 72 Points: 27,496, Level: 72
Activity: 21.4% Activity: 21.4% Activity: 21.4%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Location: Copenhagen
Posts: 1,951
Thanks: 941
Thanked 2,448 Times in 1,066 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

You're not wrong, Jason, and your advice is well-stated and steeped in the sort of optimism that *should* be at the foundation of a new or even aged romance.

But when evaluating one's kink, he's got to decided whether he's a 6 or a 7. If what he likes is something he doesn't feel confident he can be happy without, then if he - or his partner - views partaking in sessions as "cheating", he will need to make sure that kink can be a part of any relationship he chooses to have.

Obviously, there's no one-size-fits-all answer to anything involving relationships, but if this is important to you and handling all your needs AT HOME is important to you, then the best advice is to get it out there early or at least as soon as you begin being sexually intimate.

NOTE: My suggestion is coming from the mind of a middle-aged guy whose marriage failed, because I thought the healthy thing to do was to NOT seek to include my fantasies in any serious dating. I was operating on the long-ago received advice from a pretty intelligent guy that I should not marry my fantasy, because eventually it would go away. HORRIBLE ADVICE! lol
__________________
[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KillerCrushes For This Useful Post:
  #18  
Old 08-Jan-17, 04:03
billyLee billyLee is offline
Banned
Points: 1,479, Level: 15 Points: 1,479, Level: 15 Points: 1,479, Level: 15
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Gender: Male
Location: n/a
Posts: 94
Thanks: 148
Thanked 45 Times in 28 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

It all depends on how important this thing is to ya and how willing your lady love is gonna to give it to ya. If it's very important to ya and she just doesn't wanna give it to ya, it's time to walk for ya.

Last edited by billyLee; 08-Jan-17 at 04:17.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 08-Jan-17, 12:30
RyonaGuy's Avatar
RyonaGuy RyonaGuy is online now
Member
Points: 12,053, Level: 47 Points: 12,053, Level: 47 Points: 12,053, Level: 47
Activity: 9.5% Activity: 9.5% Activity: 9.5%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Location: Ireland
Posts: 253
Thanks: 311
Thanked 732 Times in 163 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Thanks a lot for the solid advice, it's really appreciated!
Although I'm not too sure where I stand on 'the scale' I'm certainly not as involved in it as some of the guys in the forum are (eg I've read a few threads here were guys can't even look at girls without wondering what their scissors are like)
Having said that, you stated earlier I wouldn't even be on a forum like this if it wasn't a big part of who I am and that makes a lot of sense.

The part about your failed marriage hit me hard too as I'm at the age were I should probably be thinking of a long term partner rather than 'some fun'

I think ditching her now would be a bit hasty considering we have so much fun and get on so well. I think I need to figure out where I stand on 'the scale' and ask myself if it's really something I can live without.

Well at least I train at a pretty big bjj gym (and a smaller Judo club), if this relationship doesn't work out I'll stop hitting on girls at comic conventions and start doing it in classes
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 08-Jan-17, 16:00
Luffy-sama's Avatar
Luffy-sama Luffy-sama is online now
King of the Pirates
Points: 19,655, Level: 61 Points: 19,655, Level: 61 Points: 19,655, Level: 61
Activity: 6.3% Activity: 6.3% Activity: 6.3%
Last Achievements
Award-Showcase
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Gender: Male
Location: France
Posts: 241
Thanks: 247
Thanked 2,088 Times in 166 Posts
Default Re: Ending a relationship (am I crazy)

@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], for what it worth here is my point of view :

Your story made me think about my own serious relationship I ended last year. My feeling for her was really close to yours, she was pretty, nice and fun and I've spend really good time being with her. It last 3 years and everything goes well with her during these years ... except the fact that I never told anything her about my fetish.
Trust me I tried several times but she doestn't want to hear about it. At first I did what we all did, try to approach her with usual question like "Do you prefer to play the dominant role or ?" and days after days, step by step I tried to get her speak about our kink but she closed the topic quiet quickly. I even remember her saying something like "No I don't have any kink ... " "Do you want to hear mine ?" "No ... don't really ..." OUCH

But I was enjoying my time with her and obviously we had cool regular sex in bed

So month after month I tried to discover her and know what she likes on my own. But the more I know about her the more I discover she was pretty "classic" in what she likes or what she dislikes. I don't think it's a bad thing to be "classic" but for a guy like me who have a lot of kink and love to experience new things it was frustrating.
After a years being with her I tried one more time to know her fetish. I though, may be she was scared I won't understand and she was shy ... and sometimes girls developped some kinky though depending of the guy they are with so ... but she answered the same way.
I didn't insist because I felt like she was annoyed by my reaction. Well I was sad and mostly I didn't even know how I could speak to her about my fetish.
I knew she didn't want to hear about it but I didn't want to give up on it either so it was a pretty hard situation.
Like the one you living right now excpet your girlfriend is aware about it.
To be honest I also wondered if it was worth to continue with her and I considered to break up ... so no you are not crazy
But I though it was ridiculous to break up with someone just because she wasn't fullfill your fetish. beside everything else goes well.

So I strayed with her and I just tried to subtly make her understand what I like through regular things. But I'm admit I was really missing it ... and the more time goes the more I was frustrated. So a couple month before we broke up I just confess to her than I had a very strong fetish, and it was really important for me. I couldn't hold it anymore and even if I knew she was going to reject it I didn't even care I just wanted her to know it ... I was bored in bed and I wanted something new so may be it will inspire her
And, believe or not, but she refuses to hear me. She even asked me to keep it for me because she doesn't want to know so what's the point.
It suprised me beacause she was a really kind person and watchful. And I think she knew well so may be she didn't want to know because she didn't want to say no to me for a thing so important.

Then things gets complicate and we broke up few month after this ... the last month we didn't even had sex. I still had great fun with her and actually we are still good friend but we simply to love eachother.

From my point of view, it's obvious I couldn't stay with her because of my fetish and I think she understood it.
So my advice : If it's so important to you it's going to be hard to give up on it, if not impossible. So either she will care and you will find a solution to make you happy (like having session) or she will not and men it's gonna eat you...

Anyway, right now I'm also 28 like you and I'm totally aware about the fact I want to find someone who share the same interest and I know what you mean by loosing your time with her ... What can I say is : I stayed 3 years with this girl and I never though a single time I lost my time with her
As we all said, two month is a little fast to make conclusion, give you both more times
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Luffy-sama For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
relationship with a female judoka katerinasensei Wrestling & Fighting Stories 11 11-Feb-21 08:14
Relationship after losing Aray Wrestling & Fighting Discussion 40 19-Sep-17 08:01
relationship with someone you cannot beat at all? KillerCrushes Wrestling & Fighting Discussion 59 18-Jul-17 21:14
Relationship With A Lifestyle Dominant 11blockhead62 Female Domination Discussion 12 25-Sep-16 13:52
New Relationship at the Dojo mbpmbp Wrestling & Fighting Stories 0 21-Nov-15 21:38


All times are GMT. The time now is 14:05.


Powered by vBulletin® - Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.