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Old 30-Jun-17, 21:58
Aray Aray is offline
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Default Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

For those of you who have actually lost a competitive match to a woman. What's it like when your mindset goes from "I can get out of this and beat her" to "I can't stop her". I've experienced it and I think the way the woman reacts to knowing she is clearly superior to you is a big part of it. When she sees fear in your eyes and knows you're at her mercy it's a huge ego thing for her. So basically when you really lose, is it easy for you to get over it? Or does it stick with you knowing that girl is your superior.
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Old 30-Jun-17, 22:06
desertgoodguy desertgoodguy is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

As your wrestling has gotten more competitive over the years, it has changed insofar as in the beginning, I knew I could beat her easily

As she has progressed, the dynamics have changed, and I got a new respect for her abilities, which made me a lot more cautios in our matches
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Old 01-Jul-17, 00:08
kokowawa kokowawa is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

Well.. for me it really depends on the consequences and the memories related to that defeat. I lost my first ever mixed match. My feelings after that loss were really unclear because I was young and I just wanted to experience something new, it was not about winning or losing to me at that match. I just wanted to have fun. She have straddled me in a cute pin where we smiled at each other . After that match, I was kind of both excited and humiliated and although I have wrestled about 20 matches, won about 15, my defeats were mostly by her. I was definitely stronger than her but that first exposure to be defeated by her was really imprinted in my memory.
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Old 01-Jul-17, 01:32
boyofwinter boyofwinter is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

Losing at wrestling generally is a bit different from what you said, both of you knowing you can't stop her. I've had several sessions of the latter type, Helen Von Mott most notably, Severa, Mayra, FlexZee, Isabelle, Arekah, names everyone around here is familiar with. For me it's a completely different thought process, it's mainly me being curious about how she'll run the match. It's always interesting when I know she doesn't have to react to things instinctively, finding out how she decides she wants to break me down when she knows anything is open to her. As for wrestling with girlfriends, that sort of thing, it's always been a kind of foreplay as them being strong and athletic is always tied into me finding them attractive. I've had girlfriends who could beat me but none who could do it effortlessly.
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Old 10-Sep-17, 02:09
wrestler123 wrestler123 is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aray [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
For those of you who have actually lost a competitive match to a woman. What's it like when your mindset goes from "I can get out of this and beat her" to "I can't stop her". I've experienced it and I think the way the woman reacts to knowing she is clearly superior to you is a big part of it. When she sees fear in your eyes and knows you're at her mercy it's a huge ego thing for her. So basically when you really lose, is it easy for you to get over it? Or does it stick with you knowing that girl is your superior.
It is something that sticks with me. I'll give details of my losses which are still vivid in my mind.

The first few losses caused a bit of denial.
Back in 2003, when I was 21, I had my first session with Amazon Ava of Tarzana. She's 8 inches taller than me and was 30lbs heavier than me at the time. When I got home I thought, "we were pretty evenly matched" because I got a few take downs on her. However, in actuality this is what happened. I nearly got the first submission on her. Nearly. I tried and failed to get a choke on her, but she got pissed and kicked me off with her legs. Before I knew it I was stuck between her legs. She held me firmly while I struggled in vain to pull her legs off. After about 10 seconds of my futile struggle she squeezed so hard all my air was squeezed out of me. I even started coughing. When she let me go I was weakened quite a bit. The rest of the match I was on the defensive and whenever she got on top of me she pinned me down and I had to tap out because I couldn't get her off. she won 6 submissions to 0. This defeat stuck with me because I was pretty fit at the time and was easily defeated.

My next defeat was against Cassandra who is 1 inch shorter than me and 30lbs lighter. She got me in two headlock submissions within 3 minutes. Those 3 minutes were a shock because everything I tried was countered and I felt helpless. At least with Ava, I was able to get a few offensive moves on her, but without submissions. That defeat stuck with me. Eventually I learned how to wrestle Cassandra and can defeat her now. I once made her submit in front of other women. She didn't like that and gave me a cheap shot after she got up lol! All in good fun.

My 3rd loss was against Jasmine from Sherman Oaks. She is slightly taller than me, and maybe 15lbs lighter. I had easily defeated her the year before but in the rematch we were pretty evenly matched until the end when she was able to pin me. I couldn't get her off so I tapped.This time she was a lot stronger than me so she wore me out. She is the only session wrestler who has beaten me in arm wrestling.

My 4th loss was against Jennifer Thomas. Much like my first match with Cassandra she got me in two headlocks, this time within 1 minute. I probably lasted about 10 seconds before I tapped out the first time. That was super humiliating. The rest of the match I was completely on the defensive. I was about to get 1 submission on her, but I lost count how many times she made me tap. I'd guess anywhere from 7-10 times. I was so beaten, that in the last 15 minutes I asked if we could do life and carries because I was tired of getting my ass kicked.

Finally, I discovered that Ava was still doing wrestling sessions and had 3 sessions with her in 2014-2015. I was still in denial about losing to her so many years ago. I figured, she's older now and won't be as tough. Boy was I wrong. The first session wasn't really wrestling, it was just her sensual massage, but I felt her strength when she moved my arms around. After the session I complimented her strength and asked if she was still up for wrestling, she said yes. A few months later I had a second session. This time it was wrestling. I had a chip on my shoulder thinking "I beat her years ago (denial), I'll have fun with her and win the match". What happened over the next hour was the worst beating of my session wrestling experiences. I was sitting on the couch when she walked over and pushed me down hard. She laughed at my useless attempts to break free and dared me to push her off. She then grabbed my arms and dragged me off the couch and into the wrestling room. I was now on my feet facing her. After years of wrestling short women, she seemed unbelievable tall. I went in to grab her and she put her arm around my head and squeezed it into her breast. I attempted to grab her waist and toss her down, but I couldn't budge her. It was like trying to move a brick wall. As she made fun of me she began to put her weight on my head and shoulders. She slowly pushed me all the way to the floor while I was trying with all my might to push her up. While on the floor she wrapped her legs around my waist and squeezed hard. While she had me in a powerful scissor hold she got my arms and arm-barred me. Tap out. I thought she got lucky and tried again. She submitted me 7 more times in pretty much the same manner. On the 8th submission my eyes were wide in disbelief. Not only had she beaten me so many times, I never came close to being on the offensive. She must have felt sorry for me and the rest of the sessions consisted of lift and carries while she kept saying, "I kicked your ass."

My 3rd rematch with her was also my final session. This time I was able to avoid getting dragged down by my head, but eventually she took me down because she counted my feeble attempts to take her down. She got me in a grapevine. Before she submitted me she said, "you will never be able to defeat me little man". After I submitted she threw me on the bed and head scissored me. I actually took it for a long time while she kept taunting me to tap out. After I finally did something weird happened. We both stood up and I was light headed. I must have been afraid because my eyes were open and I was holding on to her as if to say, "please don't hurt me".

So yeah, the times I was truly defeated by a woman are vivid memories.
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  #6  
Old 15-Sep-17, 05:38
tanukialpha tanukialpha is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

In the past, I've enjoyed wrestling females for the fun of it, would usually let the ones who couldn't win by their own devices think they could, and shrugged off the ones who actually did win as the consequence of my own laziness.

More recently, as I've tried to improve my physical fitness with a combination of cardio and weightlifting, I've been badly demoralized at being easily dominated by my female opponent despite my best efforts. This feeling of humiliation motivates me to work out harder -- to the point of injuring myself -- and even start training in martial arts; but I now have the sinking feeling, and think I have to simply face the fact, that no matter how hard I devote myself to it I'm just too old, at 63, to ever hope to compete with some of the more robust female fighters. It's something I'll have to either surrender to or completely let go of in order not to let the psychological torture of it drive me mad!

Well, that last bit may be a little overstated, as I don't fear I'll actually have a meltdown. I can live with this fact. But I seem to enjoy the drama of believing that part of me (as R.D. Laing calls in The Divided Self an "assembly" within myself) will suffer an irreparable schism due to the defeat dealt to me by a stronger, better skilled female wrestler.

This, by the way, contradicts the belief of some dominatrixes that subs can't logically agree to experience something they don't actually want. The mind is, according to Laing, more complicated than that -- full of contradictions and self-delusions. It's difficult to separate fantasy from reality in the subconscious where opposing tendencies are created and perpetuated throughout our experience, especially in our interactions with others, perhaps most of all with the opposite sex. Sometimes we don't know what we want, or don't want, until we get it.

Last edited by tanukialpha; 15-Sep-17 at 06:01.
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Old 15-Sep-17, 12:17
bruce911187 bruce911187 is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

I`ve always liked it too much to be troubled about it. I liked it the first time it happened to me.

For me, the hard thing was talking to women about it. I was terribly shy about it as a teen and didn`t get really comfortable about my passions until I was in my 30`s.

If I had been able to be open from early on I could have saved myself from several long term relationships that didn`t work out in the long run.

The knowledge learned the hard way is this: You have to be honest about what what you want from a girl early on. Otherwise you will end up disappointing each other.
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Old 16-Sep-17, 06:20
G-Force
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

First time my wife sunk a perfectly executed triangle choke on me, shifted her hips and tightened it up to scary pressure, flipped me over, sat on top in the mount position, while I'm literally flailing helplessly, struggling with all my might to get out, seriously ALL my strength, my consciousness beginning to fade, and then I give a big TAP on her thigh to free me. I knew, and she knew at that very moment that we are ALL human and subject to being overpowered given the right circumstances. Now she has moved on to Taekwondo and regularly breaks multiple 3/4" boards with her feet. Knowledge and power knows no gender....get used to it

Last edited by G-Force; 16-Sep-17 at 06:26.
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Old 18-Sep-17, 15:01
Bd324 Bd324 is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

The first time I lost to a female I think I was stunned for awhile. I couldn't believe it. I was going to play around with her awhile then go for the pin, but she got me in a cross body press pin I could not get out of. She applied it perfectly too. Was in panic mode as she counted me out. She took her win in stride which later on thinking about it made it all the more sexier!
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Old 27-Sep-17, 21:00
ca12345 ca12345 is offline
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Default Re: Feeling of truly being defeated by a woman

When I was younger the idea of losing to a female made me very uncomfortable. The memories of getting beat at an early age are great now but they troubled me at the time. As I became more secure with myself, I realized how much I liked that idea.

Now, it doesn't feel like a "loss" at all. The feeling of being pinned down or being stuck in a painful hold and having to tap out is amazing.
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