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  #31  
Old 18-Mar-19, 12:02
lovefvsf lovefvsf is offline
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

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Originally Posted by mixed [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I remember long ago seeing a screen capture or a link from a forum that was about fighting or bodybuilding with a long rant about people that contacted them for wrestling with sexual intent. They just could not conceive this fetish/interest and called people like us a bunch of pervs.
We aren't????

Many, many women compartmentalize even while participating the Martial Arts or such that it is not sexual.

Others recognize it and don't want to grapple with men during class either.

And there are the majority of women, who don't even know this fetish exists.
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  #32  
Old 19-Mar-19, 02:20
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

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Originally Posted by mixed [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I remember long ago seeing a screen capture or a link from a forum that was about fighting or bodybuilding with a long rant about people that contacted them for wrestling with sexual intent. They just could not conceive this fetish/interest and called people like us a bunch of pervs.
Wasn't it from a "reddit community" or something like that? Some guy was upset that guys were turned on by his girlfriend's competitive grappling and tried to launch a movement, iirc.
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  #33  
Old 19-Mar-19, 14:15
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

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Originally Posted by mixed [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I remember long ago seeing a screen capture or a link from a forum that was about fighting or bodybuilding with a long rant about people that contacted them for wrestling with sexual intent. They just could not conceive this fetish/interest and called people like us a bunch of pervs.
I can understand how they'd see guys who are explicit about it like that, there is a line. Lots of women can understand wrestling being a turn on, a few female fighters have told me as much over the years. Telling her you expect her to do something more overtly sexual, that you want the session specifically for that reason, that's likely to be seen as perv behavior/attitude by pretty much anyone.
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  #34  
Old 19-Mar-19, 15:31
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

I will give my point of view on the original question of why many female martial artists are not easy to date: of course, each individual case varies, but, as you may know already, I have been involved in the Martial Arts community for many, many years, Shaolin Kung Fu, Wudang Tai Chi, Aikido, Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, Wrestling etc and I have meet dozens of women that their main reason on starting their Martial Arts journey was because they have been sexually assaulted in the past, so many of them are wary of any guy that approaches them (or they end up dating the owner of the school, usually a black belt).
P.S: There have been as of late a few cases of Black Belt instructors sexually molesting students, which is considered the ultimate betrayal of trust in Martial Arts circles.

Last edited by Anji; 19-Mar-19 at 17:03.
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  #35  
Old 19-Mar-19, 17:27
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

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Originally Posted by Anji [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I will give my point of view on the original question of why many female martial artists are not easy to date: of course, each individual case varies, but, as you may know already, I have been involved in the Martial Arts community for many, many years, Shaolin Kung Fu, Wudang Tai Chi, Aikido, Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, Wrestling etc and I have meet dozens of women that their main reason on starting their Martial Arts journey was because they have been sexually assaulted in the past, so many of them are wary of any guy that approaches them (or they end up dating the owner of the school, usually a black belt).
P.S: There have been as of late a few cases of Black Belt instructors sexually molesting students, which is considered the ultimate betrayal of trust in Martial Arts circles.
Teachers & Students unfortunately is an age old problem. As is sexual assault (and the reason some women join)

Interesting that you note students dating the owner (often too teachers) of dojos as I saw this when my spouse trained. Also saw cheating quite prevalent too.

Yes everything kept in-house in martial arts (so it seems).
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  #36  
Old 19-Mar-19, 19:03
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

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Originally Posted by Anji [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
P.S: There have been as of late a few cases of Black Belt instructors sexually molesting students, which is considered the ultimate betrayal of trust in Martial Arts circles.
[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] is probably the most infamous example of that happening.
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  #37  
Old 19-Mar-19, 19:13
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

I may add also that most women are aware of the meaning of "fetish" and it is a turn off if a guy is attracted to a woman because of a particular fetish, instead of just being something that is commonly shared, this is not a problem in a casual relationship, but if seriously dating, then what happens if the "fetish" is not longer present ? if the woman loses interest in martial arts ? gets injured and can never practice again ? if the guy main attention is on the "fetish" he will lose interest in dating the woman.
I remember when I was younger and my hair was long, way below my waist, guys with long hair fetish used to come to me and tell me "never cut your hair , please'', sure enough , I cut my hair short and all those guys just disappeared... I heard stories like that from former bodybuilders as well, they have guys with "bodybuilder" fetish all over them, but when they stopped working out and become fluffy and with some body fat, those guys went away, constantly looking to satisfy their fetish elsewhere. So, in dating it is better to look for a compatible mate in all areas, and if they have whatever it is that we are turn on by, that is an extra-bonus. Just my point of view.

Last edited by Anji; 19-Mar-19 at 19:21.
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  #38  
Old 19-Mar-19, 22:19
LoveAikidoWomen LoveAikidoWomen is offline
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

thats very sad. i never thought about that, on average, in a martial arts class, more women have been abused as a percentage than in any other "class" of sport. for ex a tennis class. but it makes sense. totally
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  #39  
Old 20-Mar-19, 09:36
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anji [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I may add also that most women are aware of the meaning of "fetish" and it is a turn off if a guy is attracted to a woman because of a particular fetish, instead of just being something that is commonly shared, this is not a problem in a casual relationship, but if seriously dating, then what happens if the "fetish" is not longer present ? if the woman loses interest in martial arts ? gets injured and can never practice again ? if the guy main attention is on the "fetish" he will lose interest in dating the woman.
I remember when I was younger and my hair was long, way below my waist, guys with long hair fetish used to come to me and tell me "never cut your hair , please'', sure enough , I cut my hair short and all those guys just disappeared... I heard stories like that from former bodybuilders as well, they have guys with "bodybuilder" fetish all over them, but when they stopped working out and become fluffy and with some body fat, those guys went away, constantly looking to satisfy their fetish elsewhere. So, in dating it is better to look for a compatible mate in all areas, and if they have whatever it is that we are turn on by, that is an extra-bonus. Just my point of view.
My wife has sometimes told me that my fetish made her insecure because it meant to her that everything sexual and non wrestling we did meant nothing to me, and that I would be capable of going away with a woman that would wrestle me because everything was not about her but about the fetish. She brings that issue back from time to time, even though I've assured her it's not like that.
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  #40  
Old 17-Jun-19, 19:16
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Default Re: Females who train + dating ?

I find it quite hard to get a girl that does martial arts the only ones are the one that don't and wont do.

To all the women who do Martial Arts where do i need to look and is there something wrong?
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