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View Poll Results: Who is the dominant partner in your relationship?
I am. 16 24.24%
My wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend. 28 42.42%
We are both equal. 22 33.33%
Voters: 66. You may not vote on this poll

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  #11  
Old 19-May-18, 19:02
Shado Shado is offline
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Default Re: Who is in charge of your relationship?

This may not be the most interesting or fun answer, but I think your question is a lot more complex than it may appear. What does "in charge" mean, after all? I don't think I know any couple where it is a 100%/0% arrangement. To me, that would be almost pathological. And with most couples I know, the answer would even vary in different areas of their life. One might "take the lead" in one area, but the other "takes the lead" in another.

I think that for a relationship to be a long term thing, and to be about more than "just sex", there has to be some basic respect there, in both directions. If one partner truly holds the other in contempt, I can't see how there are any long term prospects. That is why, IMHO, "humiliation" is a tricky thing. It can be powerfully sexually arousing for some, and for some, it would be more arousing if it was "authentic"...but I think that raises issues.

On a more fun note, I think a lot of women know that their bodies make it hard for guys to think straight, and they use that at various times, to fun effect - some more than others. An exciting thought. And like someone said above, once the wife slaps on the headscissors, those gym-worked thick thighs start bulging, she locks one foot behind another, leans back and smirks? Good luck convincing yourself you're in charge. Lucky, maybe? In charge. not so much. ;^)
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  #12  
Old 20-May-18, 05:13
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Braddogg4345 Braddogg4345 is offline
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Default Re: Who is in charge of your relationship?

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Originally Posted by Shado [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
This may not be the most interesting or fun answer, but I think your question is a lot more complex than it may appear. What does "in charge" mean, after all? I don't think I know any couple where it is a 100%/0% arrangement. To me, that would be almost pathological. And with most couples I know, the answer would even vary in different areas of their life. One might "take the lead" in one area, but the other "takes the lead" in another.

I think that for a relationship to be a long term thing, and to be about more than "just sex", there has to be some basic respect there, in both directions. If one partner truly holds the other in contempt, I can't see how there are any long term prospects. That is why, IMHO, "humiliation" is a tricky thing. It can be powerfully sexually arousing for some, and for some, it would be more arousing if it was "authentic"...but I think that raises issues.
I think that with about 90% of my married friends, family members, and co-workers, the woman seems to be in charge. The extent to which the woman is in charge tends to vary, but the women seem to be in charge in the majority of relationships. And when I say "in charge" i mean that they call the shots, and they make the decisions in the relationship. Whether the decisions are made directly or indirectly.

There are certain cases where a 100%/ 0%relationship will not work at all. However, if the man enjoys being controlled by his wife, then it can be very good for a relationship. I personally love the idea of my wife calling all the shots. We are formally in what is called a FLR (Female Led Relationship) where she calls all the shots. She controls just about every aspect of our lives. And with her being a dominant woman, and me a submissive male, it works out perfectly. In fact, our marriage has never been better. I could go into reasons for this, but it would take up too much space! I guess it helps that I am extremely attracted to "bitchy" (I like to think of them as strong) women.

You are absolutely right about the scissor holds. I don't care how macho or badass a guy thinks he is, when his woman's thighs are wrapped around his head, he is definitely the bitch!
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  #13  
Old 20-May-18, 19:27
Shado Shado is offline
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Default Re: Who is in charge of your relationship?

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Originally Posted by Braddogg4345 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I think that with about 90% of my married friends, family members, and co-workers, the woman seems to be in charge. The extent to which the woman is in charge tends to vary, but the women seem to be in charge in the majority of relationships. And when I say "in charge" i mean that they call the shots, and they make the decisions in the relationship. Whether the decisions are made directly or indirectly.

There are certain cases where a 100%/ 0%relationship will not work at all. However, if the man enjoys being controlled by his wife, then it can be very good for a relationship. I personally love the idea of my wife calling all the shots. We are formally in what is called a FLR (Female Led Relationship) where she calls all the shots. She controls just about every aspect of our lives. And with her being a dominant woman, and me a submissive male, it works out perfectly. In fact, our marriage has never been better. I could go into reasons for this, but it would take up too much space! I guess it helps that I am extremely attracted to "bitchy" (I like to think of them as strong) women.

You are absolutely right about the scissor holds. I don't care how macho or badass a guy thinks he is, when his woman's thighs are wrapped around his head, he is definitely the bitch!

Braddog - I mostly agree with you. I'm not the most eloquent person - which is probably very apparent! - so I wasn't able to really communicate what I wanted to. I guess the "respect" thing was key for me...even if someone is "in charge", if they care about the other's well being and happiness, then ...that's different than an "I don't give a damn" in charge situation. But the distinctions can be subtle... if the partner is THRILLED that the other calls all the shots, that can definitely be mutually satisfying.

I would also agree that in MOST couples I know, the woman DOES call the shots, its just that in some it is readily apparent, and in others, it is more subtle. Kinda.

And yeah. Once a woman, especially a woman with good strong legs, gets those legs wrapped around a guy's head, or even many guy's waists, the guy is DONE. Blissfully, maybe, but done.
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  #14  
Old 21-May-18, 18:44
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Default Re: Who is in charge of your relationship?

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Originally Posted by Shado [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Braddog - I mostly agree with you. I'm not the most eloquent person - which is probably very apparent! - so I wasn't able to really communicate what I wanted to. I guess the "respect" thing was key for me...even if someone is "in charge", if they care about the other's well being and happiness, then ...that's different than an "I don't give a damn" in charge situation. But the distinctions can be subtle... if the partner is THRILLED that the other calls all the shots, that can definitely be mutually satisfying.

I would also agree that in MOST couples I know, the woman DOES call the shots, its just that in some it is readily apparent, and in others, it is more subtle. Kinda.

And yeah. Once a woman, especially a woman with good strong legs, gets those legs wrapped around a guy's head, or even many guy's waists, the guy is DONE. Blissfully, maybe, but done.
I totally get the respect aspect. I see some relationships where the couple has very little respect for each other. A woman will tell the man what to do because she feels like hes lazy or incompetent, and he will resent her for it.

An FLR, at least the way I see it, is the opposite. Yes, the woman is very demanding, but both partners have willingly agreed that she calls the shots. The husband obviously respects his wifes authority, but the wife also respects her husband. It is actually really hard to explain, but there is a mutual respect in a FLR, a respect that may not be present in other relationships where the woman just bosses her man around.
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  #15  
Old 21-May-18, 21:13
scissorme2tight scissorme2tight is offline
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Default Re: Who is in charge of your relationship?

As Shado states, definitely a complex issue. Overall I think any relationship is super complex because each aspect of of a relationship is different. Essentially to determine who controls the relationship, you'd have to look at all the everyday decisions that happen. In my relationship, I'm far more easy going than my wife. I'm not extremely about a lot of things but certain things I'm extremely opinionated about. When I don't have a strong opinion, it's easier to simply let her choose. When she asks what I want for dinner, 80% I'll let her choose because I'll eat whatever. If we are buying a new TV or high tech device, I'm making that choice.

When it comes to my scissor fetish, I'd say it's the only area in my life where I am truly submissive and want to be dominated. And the more dominant, the more I get turned on. The more authentic the domination the better. As a leg's man, that's my focus and it's all about scissors. Scissors take an intriguing combination of strength, power, endurance, and desire. Many other holds are more about leverage. Someone gets you in an armbar and it's stupid and dangerous not to submit if you don't want a broken arm. I actually feel part of the turn on is the trust you have to put in your opponent when they have you between their legs and there is truly nothing you can do. And the beauty of the scissors is the near orgasmic state that it puts me in can last as long as your strong opponent allows it to, especially if they have a combination of strength, power & endurance. To be honest, it's better than the orgasm because once you cum it takes a little bit of time to recover and get back to that point. I'll take being scissored for 2 hours over 10 minutes of sex and an orgasm. I guess I'm getting back to other thread that go into would you rather have sex or wrestling (or be scissored for me).
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  #16  
Old 13-Jun-18, 06:01
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Default Re: Who is in charge of your relationship?

I would accurately guess that 70 percent of the world is full of beta/submissive guys and 70 percent dominant women, so I can see why many of the responses have the lady being in charge.

Of course, this is largely unattractive to women and why your women are probably going to cheat on you eventually, if she hasn't already.

Monroe can beat me at the wrestling 80 percent of the time, but it doesn't change our relationship structure at all.

I'm clearly in charge, she knows it, you know it, and everyone that works for us knows it.

She will even tell you herself if you ask her.

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  #17  
Old 14-Jun-18, 03:24
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Default Re: Who is in charge of your relationship?

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I would accurately guess that 70 percent of the world is full of beta/submissive guys and 70 percent dominant women, so I can see why many of the responses have the lady being in charge.

Of course, this is largely unattractive to women and why your women are probably going to cheat on you eventually, if she hasn't already.

Monroe can beat me at the wrestling 80 percent of the time, but it doesn't change our relationship structure at all.

I'm clearly in charge, she knows it, you know it, and everyone that works for us knows it.

She will even tell you herself if you ask her.

- Ringo -
Oddly enough, from what I read in articles, books, and blogs pertaining to the subject, the majority of men who want to be dominated by women are alpha males outside the house, but relinquish control to their wives or dominatrixs inside the house.

In cases where the Female Led Relationship is not mutually agreed upon, I can see the woman eventually leaving a man who she is constantly able to use as a door mat. But in a mutually agreed upon FLR, the woman typically maintains her respect for the man, even though she is the one taking charge.

Although my wife is in charge, I am still the primary bread winner in the house. And I am usually the one on the phone arguing with bill collectors, telemarketers, etc. And of course if it comes down to it, she knows that I would still take a bullet for her.

I do agree with you that a large number of women are naturally dominant, but it is hard to tell with so many women conforming to societal norms that say they are supposed to be submissive. Then if they are strong willed, they are labeled as a "bitch". So a lot of women hide their dominant nature. Such as shame!
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