Boys who were beat up by girls at an early age

[Skooby]

I shared this in another thread:

I always thought it probably has something to do with a bully I had growing up. I was 7-10 years old and this girl would just punch and kick me for no reason. She'd throw me to ground and just hold me there. She was mean. She was actually a year younger than I was, but I remember her being very strong. She was always winning the track races against the boys in school.

As I got older, I just always looked for women who were strong and had a mean streak. Women who were dominant. I have a foot fetish also. Again, maybe it started when I was a kid with this girl. She would pin me down, like stand on me and I couldn't move. Or she would pin me against a wall with her foot (she took karate as well). I think everything started with this girl bully when I was a kid.

[schatten_PhD]

I could write probably an entire book about this. But my brief answer:

1) For me, I wrestled with a girl on my street when I was little (maybe 3 or 4). Her sister would join too sometimes. We all wrestled in our underwear on my bed. The two of them grew up to be quite athletic and attractive, and that whole experience became quite sexualized. I later saw women wrestling in gym class in middle school and was very turned on by it. Also saw a film called "All The Marbles" with women wrestling.

2) I think our fetishes are determined by a combination of nature and nurture - both genes and the experiences we grow up with. I know some couples who are quite kinky, and their children have exhibited rather "unconventional" behavior at a young age...in some cases, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. But in other cases, people have very formative experiences in childhood that shape their sexuality.

[Snusaren]

I never wrestled girls then I was growing up. I started having this fetish then I was a teenager. I dont know why.

[psf366]

You know, I hate to be a spoil sport here, but the roots of sexual orientations begin at an age before conscious memory -- prior to age 3. Incidents which occur at later stages of development can act as catalysts to awareness, but do not cause the underlying inclinations. For heterosexual men, what we think of when we think of sex is in many ways a reliving of our original relationship between mother and son. No, this doesn't mean a man dreams of screwing his mom. But the introduction to physical intimacy which happens when we are babies leaves a permanent disposition. Of course, many factors alter the psychological destinies of children. One mother can raise two very different sons. But trust me -- our enjoyment of dominant women didn't come from a movie we saw when we were 12 anymore than a different movie could have caused us to become pediphiles.

[schatten_PhD]

Originally Posted by psf366 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

You know, I hate to be a spoil sport here, but the roots of sexual orientations begin at an age before conscious memory -- prior to age 3. Incidents which occur at later stages of development can act as catalysts to awareness, but do not cause the underlying inclinations. For heterosexual men, what we think of when we think of sex is in many ways a reliving of our original relationship between mother and son. No, this doesn't mean a man dreams of screwing his mom. But the introduction to physical intimacy which happens when we are babies leaves a permanent disposition. Of course, many factors alter the psychological destinies of children. One mother can raise two very different sons. But trust me -- our enjoyment of dominant women didn't come from a movie we saw when we were 12 anymore than a different movie could have caused us to become pediphiles.

I only partially agree. The key phrase you used is "the roots of sexual orientations." ROOTS do not imply that your orientation won't change; that merely means that's the starting point.

People's sexual proclivities change over time. I've spoken with many people whose interests have gotten kinkier as they've gotten older, and their fetishes have evolved. Or maybe they were vanilla and finally acted on their fetishes as they aged. It's difficult to pinpoint exactly WHY our fetishes change sometimes - I think it has to do with brain chemistry. But I study social science, not neurology, so I'm no expert here --just speaking from personal experience and as someone who has been quite active in the fetish community.

You are right that the Oedipus complex is quite real.

[qwertyuio]

Originally Posted by schatten_PhD [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

I only partially agree. The key phrase you used is "the roots of sexual orientations." ROOTS do not imply that your orientation won't change; that merely means that's the starting point.

People's sexual proclivities change over time. I've spoken with many people whose interests have gotten kinkier as they've gotten older, and their fetishes have evolved. Or maybe they were vanilla and finally acted on their fetishes as they aged. It's difficult to pinpoint exactly WHY our fetishes change sometimes - I think it has to do with brain chemistry. But I study social science, not neurology, so I'm no expert here --just speaking from personal experience and as someone who has been quite active in the fetish community.

You are right that the Oedipus complex is quite real.

I agree that sexual preferences can be developed over time and you aren't born with it. For example, I was only attracted to one ethinicity for women for a large part of my life. In my early 20's, I started to be attracted to a different ethnicity almost exclusively. Recently, I began to become extremely attracted to yet another ethnic group of women that I had never been attracted to before during my entire life, and lost a lot of attraction to a previous group I preferred.

[psf366]

Yes, yes, I very much agree -- these roots are a starting point from which we evolve. And yes, with age (hopefully) comes the courage to act on inclinations which have been misunderstood, hidden or suppressed. That possibly means a whole lot more kinkiness. Or maybe just the excitement to experiment.

One of the fascinating things to me about female domination is how universal it is. Every man's first experience is with a woman who is, quite literally, an overpowering Amazon. The little baby boy looks up at his mother and sees a woman who is bigger, stronger and in complete control. No talking. No excuses. Submit to her and she will love you. Fight her and she will win. To some extent, this thread exists in even the most vanilla man-woman relationships.

Of course, the other side of the equation is the passion of the mother's selflessness. She might dote on her child. Celebrate his every move. Treat him like a king. My guess is that would have a lasting effect on a little boy. I say "guess" because my mother didn't have much of a talent for doting. She encouraged me to be independent and capable and not interested in too much physical contact. So I've been fantasizing about being wrestled and devoured by an Amazon ever since.

The roots are simple. The evolution, the experimentation and the learning has been wonderfully complicated.

[bruce911187]

Originally Posted by schatten_PhD [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

I know some couples who are quite kinky, and their children have exhibited rather "unconventional" behavior at a young age...in some cases, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Any chance you could elaborate on this remark a bit? I would love to know a little more.

[Harry Cake]

Originally Posted by psf366 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Submit to her and she will love you. Fight her and she will win. To some extent, this thread exists in even the most vanilla man-woman relationships.

I certainly agree with this. IMHO the happiest marriages are those where the wife is the boss and her husband submits to her authority.

[schatten_PhD]

Originally Posted by bruce911187 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Any chance you could elaborate on this remark a bit? I would love to know a little more.

Sure. I am active in the BDSM scene. I have played with a mainly dominant woman whose husband is a sub. They have a young child who apparently has done some subtle things that they are amused me. For instance, something happened where she was playing and pretending she was a dog wearing a collar, and her friend was controlling her. Is that inherently sexual? Maybe not. But the point was that, as a kinky, polyamorous woman, the domme read something into that behavior.

I also know a kinky couple in leadership of a BDSM organization. Their son is also kinky. There is at least one other case like I can think of. Hard to prove whether that is just a case of kids being influenced by mom and dad, or whether it is genes.