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Check out the latest release by Fight Pulse: Rage vs Foxy (Headscissor Frenzy).
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  #21  
Old 19-Sep-18, 11:18
dirksneath dirksneath is offline
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Default Re: Jaycee's Revenge

Thanks Tenzin. I want people to be able to visualize the characters without leaving too much to the imagination. Some writers don't describe the girls well enough for you to know their age, or much about attire, and you don't even know sometimes if they're wearing shoes, unless they mention it well into the story, at which point I've often lost interest. Even for those who don't care for bare feet, don't they want to know what they're wearing, including shoes and/or socks or stockings, tights, etc? And if they're wearing shorts, what kind of shorts, and how short are they? I don't have to know the color, but I like black Lycra workout shorts, so it's kind of nice to know if that's what the writer had in mind.

I'm pretty anal retentive when it comes to details of the fight, maybe too much, because I don't know how many stories I've read in which I will read a scene three times or more, trying to figure out exactly what's happening. So the girl gets a man in a scissor. Is it a head or neck scissor or a body scissor? Frontal or rear? A reverse scissor? What? Sometimes moves and holds are described, but don't make sense. One writer used to drive me crazy with things like a girl getting not one but two full grown adults in a leg scissor, then after crushing them for few minutes, she flings then across the yard with her legs. In the two stories I'm thinking about, one of the girls was about five feet tall, and the other was under five feet. Even if you imagine them as being that strong, then unless she was able to stretch her legs, like Mr Fantastic in the Fantastic Four, that's impossible.

Same writer had a girl facing one man, getting him in a bear hug or something, while somehow getting a man sneaking up behind her in a leg scissor. He had her somehow bending over to snare the man behind her while continuing her hold on the other man. I sent him an email, asking him to clarify the scene, as I couldn't visualize it at all. What he was trying to describe may have been different from what my brain was trying to process, but since he didn't respond, I still don't know. Other than things like that, and an occasional silly plot, he was a damn good writer.

I think my problem is I write too much, not only too many details in a fight scene, but scenes that go on too long, often including the same holds over and over. You can tell I love leg scissors, as I include so many. I know some don't like violence and death of victims, but I think that's more a matter of personal taste, as is the age of the girls.
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  #22  
Old 19-Sep-18, 13:59
fred1951 fred1951 is offline
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Default Re: Jaycee's Revenge

You write awesome stories,but people must realize it is just stories and fantasies.And that it involves minors is'nt wrong,because it are fight stories and no stories with sex in it.
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mixed, older males, preteen girl, scissors, violence

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