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View Poll Results: How do you feel about your sexuality?
I love it, and I don't care who knows! 14 10.29%
I'm happy with it, and I've told a few people that I trust, but I don't want it to be public. 30 22.06%
I like it personally, but I'm hesitant to talk about it with anybody else. 56 41.18%
I'm not sure how I feel. 8 5.88%
Sexually, it's what gets me off. I dislike it in all other aspects of my life. 19 13.97%
I try not to think about it. 4 2.94%
I'm actively trying to change. 5 3.68%
Voters: 136. You may not vote on this poll

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  #11  
Old 18-Jul-14, 14:34
rcress232 rcress232 is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Yes, it would be nice not to have to hide it. I think this is a very insightful question you've posited to the community here and the discussion has been very interesting. I grew up knowing there was something different about me, that my fantasies were not the usual kind other guys were having about women. It was difficult and puzzling not knowing why I liked what I did, and why when other guys were looking at a girl and seeing sex I was looking at the same girl and picturing being straddled, tied up and dominated. When I was young things were not as open as they are today.
I have told very few people about what I like. As with some of the other men here, my interests are not limitless; there are aspects of female domination I would not enjoy if they were to happen to me, so I can't just say "I'm into being dominated by a woman," and have that be the end of the discussion. There needs to be a lot of explanation, and that's not a conversation to picture having with just anyone.
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  #12  
Old 18-Jul-14, 14:35
rcress232 rcress232 is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Yes, it would be nice not to have to hide it. I think this is a very insightful question you've posited to the community here and the discussion has been very interesting. I grew up knowing there was something different about me, that my fantasies were not the usual kind other guys were having about women. It was difficult and puzzling not knowing why I liked what I did, and why when other guys were looking at a girl and seeing sex I was looking at the same girl and picturing being straddled, tied up and dominated. When I was young things were not as open as they are today.
I have told very few people about what I like. As with some of the other men here, my interests are not limitless; there are aspects of female domination I would not enjoy if they were to happen to me, so I can't just say "I'm into being dominated by a woman," and have that be the end of the discussion. There needs to be a lot of explanation, and that's not a conversation to picture having with just anyone.
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  #13  
Old 21-Jul-14, 06:44
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nathan90120 nathan90120 is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by georgejohnson [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I wouldn't tell anyone except women I'd dated and had more "vanilla" sex with a few times, and those I've sessioned with obviously.

I've never seen a reason to talk to another man or female friend about it IRL. I think it's more fun to keep it a relative secret actually.
I have the same strategy. Wait a few dates, and generally introduce more and more after I'm sure the relationship is going somewhere, gauging interest levels as it goes along. The older I've gotten, the quicker I am to tell partners of my various fetishes. It's less nerve-wracking the next few times around, as I've found that most people generally have bdsm kinks in them - even if it's just being occasionally tied up.
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  #14  
Old 21-Jul-14, 07:17
iluvwrestlegirls iluvwrestlegirls is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Great topic! And totally awesome to have a dominant female posing the question!

I'm pretty much totally "out" now, and yes I do consider this an entire sexuality of its own. I have a gay friend, and he agrees with me that his situation is comparably easier by a long shot. There is virtually no acceptance of female dominance in ANY culture, although there are some promising signs that this may change.

When I was younger I didn't tell anyone. Discovering Diana the Valkyrie's library was a revelation to me, to discover other people were like me too (so I didn't have to write my own stories anymore!) I didn't get a girlfriend until I was 18 and although I did tell her, and although she was fairly accomodating, I wasn't mature enough to deal with it in the relationship.

The one incident which really stands out is when she pinned me in a public place. Nobody was there, but anyone could have walked over and seen. Well, I struggled and struggled, I guess because of a mix of genuine embarrasment, and a desire to have her prove that she could ACTUALLY hold me down despite my resistance. I ended up accidentally headbutting her and causing her to cry!

A more recent relationship was much more satisfying. I didn't tell her for quite a while but once I did, our intimate time went from being boring (for me) to being really exciting. Although she wasn't fully wired for it ("you still have to do what I like half the time!"), she did say it was very liberating for her to be looked up to in such a way.

Now I'm in a situation where I've possibly got a shot with a younger female (I'm 34, she's 21) and my absolute dream situation would be to be basically her training dummy for private jiu jitsu training (I'd learn stuff too, but the emphasis would be on her skill). It's exercise, it improves her self-defense skills, it's intimate, it's just... perfect. I haven't told her about my interest yet, and I'm going to try to play it cool, see if she is interested in trying it out... jiu jitsu was such a revelation to discover, and I prefer it to the 'bondage' with whips and chains etc. For a woman to totally dominate you with only her body is wild to me (and I think if she put her mind to it she could easily be my superior physically in a real sense... and no accidental headbutts this time!)

Anyway I'm rambling now but awesome to hear from a woman who is into this! If I can't find a woman who is already "out", I hope to awaken any dormant or suppressed dominant urges in her. I just think a woman dominating a man is the most beautiful thing and would never change for the world.

edit: hm, I guess with hindsight I should have picked the 2nd option. I tell all my friends eventually now, but I do hold it back for a little while at least. Told one friend of mine for the first time recently (he used to be my boss so would have been awkward before) and he seemed slightly phased but then insisted he doesn't judge anyone for things like that.

Last edited by iluvwrestlegirls; 21-Jul-14 at 07:25.
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  #15  
Old 23-Jul-14, 04:13
pan321 pan321 is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

The thing I've always done is just always been open about attraction to the girls I like in real life and they tend to have athletic/muscular legs ... and there have always been a lot of them out there. Cheerleaders, soccer players, gymnasts tennis players, runners and on and on. And almost every one of these women have always been attractive to everyone else to but perhaps for different reasons. So I bet my buddies over the years if they were pressed by someone to describe what attracts me ... and they thought about it ... they might put 2 and 2 together ...

The tanned, athletic girl has just always turned me on. The extreme aspect of that is something i have never shared.

To me that's not really odd in the sense that friends i have had who are into big boobs let's say ... they will notice them and comment on it just like me with legs ... but they never go beyond to share with me whatever the hell their crazy fantasy might be of what they want the woman to DO with her breasts.

That would be kind of weird as well. Too much information ...

In regard to the extreme stuff .... I can read about it ... can look at some pictures but have no interest in having it done to me at all.

I would think it woudl be an incredible turn on for an athletic girl to get real phsycial with me ... so that's about all I would need in real life. Or if I would ever have an easy opportunity to get a session girl ...it would be kind of role play or maybe semi-competitive but nothing that draws blood LOL.
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  #16  
Old 24-Jul-14, 01:54
MixedFighter99 MixedFighter99 is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by pan321 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
The thing I've always done is just always been open about attraction to the girls I like in real life and they tend to have athletic/muscular legs ... and there have always been a lot of them out there. Cheerleaders, soccer players, gymnasts tennis players, runners and on and on. And almost every one of these women have always been attractive to everyone else to but perhaps for different reasons. So I bet my buddies over the years if they were pressed by someone to describe what attracts me ... and they thought about it ... they might put 2 and 2 together ...

The tanned, athletic girl has just always turned me on. The extreme aspect of that is something i have never shared.

To me that's not really odd in the sense that friends i have had who are into big boobs let's say ... they will notice them and comment on it just like me with legs ... but they never go beyond to share with me whatever the hell their crazy fantasy might be of what they want the woman to DO with her breasts.

That would be kind of weird as well. Too much information ...

In regard to the extreme stuff .... I can read about it ... can look at some pictures but have no interest in having it done to me at all.

I would think it woudl be an incredible turn on for an athletic girl to get real phsycial with me ... so that's about all I would need in real life. Or if I would ever have an easy opportunity to get a session girl ...it would be kind of role play or maybe semi-competitive but nothing that draws blood LOL.
This. I used to watch the cheerleaders practice during breaks from practice in high school and imagine being scissor ed by then with their hot long tan legs.
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  #17  
Old 24-Jul-14, 11:46
MrRabbite MrRabbite is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by rcress232 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Yes, it would be nice not to have to hide it. I think this is a very insightful question you've posited to the community here and the discussion has been very interesting. I grew up knowing there was something different about me, that my fantasies were not the usual kind other guys were having about women. It was difficult and puzzling not knowing why I liked what I did, and why when other guys were looking at a girl and seeing sex I was looking at the same girl and picturing being straddled, tied up and dominated. When I was young things were not as open as they are today.
I have told very few people about what I like. As with some of the other men here, my interests are not limitless; there are aspects of female domination I would not enjoy if they were to happen to me, so I can't just say "I'm into being dominated by a woman," and have that be the end of the discussion. There needs to be a lot of explanation, and that's not a conversation to picture having with just anyone.
My feelings exactly. I have very specific interests in term of female domination and it's not easy to get into details with just anyone.
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  #18  
Old 31-Jul-14, 15:15
pan321 pan321 is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvwrestlegirls [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
my absolute dream situation would be to be basically her training dummy for private jiu jitsu training (I'd learn stuff too, but the emphasis would be on her skill
Yep ... this dovetails with my fantasy about having a woman train me at the gym ... very cool. I'd love to know how your new girl situation turns out
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  #19  
Old 04-Aug-14, 19:07
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gymdudejosh321 gymdudejosh321 is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

My ex knew, some of my friends know. My family doesn't but I think they have an idea. My ex was stronger than me, I knew that getting into a relationship with her, and she was aware that I liked it, but it didn't define the relationship.
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Old 05-Aug-14, 07:37
Terminalviscosity Terminalviscosity is offline
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Default Re: Are you "Out?"

Thanks for the great post idea.

My own understanding of BDSM is that it is an alternative sexuality.
It's still very underground, especially the male sub domme female paradigm, because mainstream culture in our society isn't quite there yet.

I am 'out', so to speak, to my closest friends and some of the women I have been involved with over the years but that's is far as it goes. I have had these desires, they form the core of my sexuality, as far as I can remember.

I am currently single though I do see a certain dominatrix about once a month who has put a lot of effort into taking over parts of my life when I am not with her. So, in some way that I haven't figured out yet, we have a version of a relationship.

My interest, and deep seated desire for Female Domination has always been a big issue with the women I have dated.
I find it very difficult sometimes to deal with this. On some weird level I understand it as what being in the closet a couple generations ago must have been like.

Because our society is still so patriarchal in nature I think a lot of women who may have these sets of desires try to keep them under lock and key and never quite explore what they may be capable of.
And, most people still think BDSM/FemDom is the province of perverts even though a very misrepresented idea of the whole enterprise seems to be gaining a toehold in our culture.

I could go on an on concerning this topic but it is late Sunday evening, I have to work tomorrow, and I fear I have been rambling somewhat.
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