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  #1  
Old 31-Oct-17, 03:35
IWantLegs IWantLegs is offline
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Default Hindsight: should you have pursued the "others" instead of your vanilla gf/wife?

Anyone look back and think they couldve indulged a little more?

So Ive seen some threads about girlfriends/wifes and either their acceptance or lack of acknowledgement of our fetishes. This thread will be about the latter. Im a guy in a relationship with a sexy, athletic, strong, beautiful bodied redhead and she is the most vanilla person Ive ever met. I tend to ask this question alot... "what about those other girls that loved/wouldve loved this stuff?" Dont get me wrong, Im not questioning whether or not I want to be in this relationship. Its more asking a rhetorical "if I knew she was this vanilla would I have chosen her so quickly or keep pursing fetishes for a while longer?"

Ive never had a "session" with a previous gf or hookup. but did have some experience with girls who were more on the kinky side and domme-ish. Ive only told a few girls other than my gf about scissors and i think they all were down with it, it just never happened. With a few busty hookups, I talked about breast smothering and they did it got a kick out of it. Not like a 30 second smother and then sex, but like a sessions worth of breath play with breast smothering. Ive had girls facesit smother me and do breath play like a session. I had a girl love that she could bust my balls. My current gf does almost none of that with any enthusiasm.

I just want to know some stories/thoughts. Why didnt it work with the girls that gave you what you wanted? Knowing what you know now about your partner, if you went back in time would you carry on the same way?

And for the record, I know i said Im not questioning my relationship...but i think I wouldve held off on trying to date her. I would still want to be with her, but Id also want a chance to experience more.
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Old 31-Oct-17, 07:36
Mahoni Mahoni is offline
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Default Re: Hindsight: should you have pursued the "others" instead of your vanilla gf/wife?

I think the reasons as for why it didn‘t work are as varied as there are members to this forum.

Personally this is something that I ask or try to get a feel for rather early on, and if I can‘t find that kinky side, I move on. I wouldn‘t want to skip on that for the rest of my life.
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Old 31-Oct-17, 21:40
Dkid13 Dkid13 is offline
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Default Re: Hindsight: should you have pursued the "others" instead of your vanilla gf/wife?

I'm with mahoni on thus one. I'm not trying to get you to re evaluate anything, just sharing my particular values etc. Part of a relationship is making sure you are compatible. There are certain things you will want and certain things you will need. For me, I feel I NEED my partner to be open to try and do for me, such as being a little more 'playful' in the bedroom than perhaps she is used to.

Even if she is not that interested, I expect she still (at least from time to time), humour me with enthusiasm in my interest. The same as I am enthusiastic about her hobbies. If she was not interested in it, I would not be doing it. However, I make thee effort because I know it makes her happy.

To answer the original question, yes sometimes I think I should have pursued this or that a little more before settling down. I dated a lifestyle Dom, though I chickened out before it got too far. I dated and wrestled a girl who eventually became an amateur muay Thai and Mma fighter. I also, wish I would have known how open girls can be to certain fetishes. If I had to choose between pursuing these things a little more, or marrying my wife though, my wife wins in a heart beat.
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Old 01-Nov-17, 01:32
furrygrappler the second furrygrappler the second is offline
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Default Re: Hindsight: should you have pursued the "others" instead of your vanilla gf/wife?

There is a lot more involved in a relationship than just shared sexual interests. As I have sometimes told my significant other, even if I ever do find my dream girl, she will probably be a bitch.
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Old 01-Nov-17, 02:52
Dkid13 Dkid13 is offline
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Default Re: Hindsight: should you have pursued the "others" instead of your vanilla gf/wife?

I'm sorry, I was not trying to say that sexual interest was the only thing I was looking for. Just that certain things are going to be more important than others. For example, someone may require their significant other to be ambitious, or require then to be interested in a healthy lifestyle, or adhere to the same religious beliefs as them. I just personally believe, along with certain other things, sexual compatibility is a must. At least a willingness to take an interest in each other's... Interests?

On a side note, did you actually admit to your significant other, that they are NOT your dream girl!? You sir, are courageous.
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Old 01-Nov-17, 04:31
elroy8 elroy8 is offline
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Default Re: Hindsight: should you have pursued the "others" instead of your vanilla gf/wife?

I'll say this, I had an ex girlfriend that was pretty hot, in great shape and was very dominant. She would smother me in various ways for fun (which I love) and was basically a dream as far as sex goes. My wife is by no means "vanilla", but absolutely no comparison in that regard and I still have no regrets. I do sometimes miss the the crazy things my ex would do in bed, but I believe its more important to have a connection with someone you care about. If you are lucky enough to have both, you deserve a high five!
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