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  #11  
Old 02-Feb-18, 02:45
BJJBlondeLover
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

i wouldnt call it a fetish of mine...but i really learn towards 1.

i dont go out of my way to lose and have in fact won some times against the girls ive wrestled, but i end up losing more often than winning
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  #12  
Old 03-Feb-18, 00:31
cashley216 cashley216 is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

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Originally Posted by Zweig [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I am both, but the voyeur in me outweighs the participant by a bit.

I like sessions. But it's not always that you can suspend the knowledge that this is a fetishistic act when wrestling with someone who knows you are enjoying being beaten or dominated, and that you know that they know. And it's fine, you don't always have to to enjoy your time. But for me, except a couple of exceptions, I'd say the most sexually exciting moments of my life were those where I got beaten / humiliated by someone who didn't know I have this fetish, or wasn't as well versed at it. That's the reason I personally prefer wrestling with women who are new to the scene than those who know every type of fantasy there is out there about power-play. Although there are days where I just want to be dominated by someone who knows what she's doing, and who can put me in a gazillion holds, step on me and talk trash to me while doing it. So, there's that too.

To expand on the above, talking about voyeurism, it is often not the information about the other guy that gets beaten that interests me. Very often it is the woman who does the beating, her feelings about what is happening. What he is feeling is only part of the bigger picture.

Being a visual guy, what I like about watching / seeing / reading is that I can get a more complete image of what is taking place physically, and what I don't know my mind will make up based on visual / audio clues. I think seeking and watching stuff for excitement on the Internet since I hit puberty is the major reason why I enjoy the experience of seeing over doing. The thing with fetishes is that you are usually stuck with fantasies and images for longer than a non-fetishist early on, since going out there and experiencing your fetish at a young age is not that easy. My classmates at school were talking about their first sexual experiences at 14-15. I didn't get headscissored until I was 20.

Lots of interesting stuff there, such as preferring women who are not really in on the fetish. I can certainly understand that. I wonder how common it is. Must be frustrating. I guess what you could do is go to an MMA club and pick a fight. Just hope that when you start messing with a woman, a guy doesn't intercede.

On the subject of watching: I DO think a lot about what's going in in the guy's head. This may be an age thing. I am so old that I remember a time when the average guy just assumed that he could beat any woman in the world in a fight. And this was central to the male ego. I like to think that what I'm watching in a fight scene is the male ego being destroyed, the guy's whole sense of himself disintegrating. It's a harder and harder fantasy to sustain, now that ass-kicking babes are so prevalent in pop culture, sports, police work, the military, etc. So many normal, non-fetish guys are perfectly willing to admit that there are girls and women they wouldn't want to fight. That's a revolution.

Like you, I like to let my own imagination work, even if, say, a video is right in front of me. I will always watch a video first with the sound off, creating my own scenario.

Funny line: not getting headscissored (one's first sexual experience, in an important sense) until 20. True, I can see. But also funny.
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  #13  
Old 04-Feb-18, 00:35
furrygrappler the second furrygrappler the second is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

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Originally Posted by cashley216 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Hmmm. I don't think we have enough to ask for our own forum.
Why would we want one?
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  #14  
Old 05-Feb-18, 01:04
cashley216 cashley216 is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

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Originally Posted by furrygrappler the second [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Why would we want one?
Just a bad attempt at humor. Never mind.
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  #15  
Old 05-Feb-18, 21:12
del del is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

I'm definitely number 2 and have been from a young age. The whole thing started with a neighbor girl who used to overpower and outfight all the boys who were close to her age. I was thankful to be just enough older to that I was able to beat her, but I loved watching her going against the boys who were younger than me. The mental game is a big part of it. I loved to see her confidence in her own strength and ability and the pleasure she got from overwhelming boys. It was also interesting to see the boys' go at her with the attitude that they would beat her because she was a girl and then struggle desperately in a losing battle. As the boys' testosterone really started kicking in, it was also also interesting to see how this alpha female handled it as she began to struggle and lose against boys that she had easily beaten only the previous summer and who she fully expected to be able to dominate again. I still like to watch and I'm still happy with either a male victory or a female victory, so long as the match and the attitudes are good.

Last edited by del; 05-Feb-18 at 21:14. Reason: correction
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  #16  
Old 16-Feb-18, 20:43
sjw2214 sjw2214 is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

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Originally Posted by cashley216 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
On the subject of watching: I DO think a lot about what's going in in the guy's head. This may be an age thing. I am so old that I remember a time when the average guy just assumed that he could beat any woman in the world in a fight. And this was central to the male ego. I like to think that what I'm watching in a fight scene is the male ego being destroyed, the guy's whole sense of himself disintegrating.
Bingo. Nicely put, cashley. (Another definite #2 here, by the way.) I'd add that for the guy's whole sense of himself to disintegrate, the fight has to last for a little while, at least -- if she KOs him in two seconds with one chop to the neck, there's no time for his ego to crumble. But a fight in which a confident male gradually realizes that his female opponent is beating him by virtue of her superior strength, skill, endurance, willpower, etc. -- well, for me that's always been just about the hottest possible scenario. And I'd much rather read or watch or hear about it than, say, role-play it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cashley216 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
It's a harder and harder fantasy to sustain, now that ass-kicking babes are so prevalent in pop culture, sports, police work, the military, etc. So many normal, non-fetish guys are perfectly willing to admit that there are girls and women they wouldn't want to fight. That's a revolution.
I hadn't thought about this in generational terms before, but you're probably right. I remember a line from one of the Baroness novels back in the '70s (yeah, I'm old, too ) describing the scene as the Baroness squared off against a bigger, far more powerful male opponent: "They faced each other across a patch of sand, a naked man and a naked woman. At some moment in the distant past, a male and a female had contended this way and fixed the fate of the sexes forever." Back then, the idea of a female victory upset the natural order of the universe. Now we take it in stride.

-sjw
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  #17  
Old 16-Feb-18, 21:47
Jericho3 Jericho3 is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

I think there’s certainly elements of both. Obviously I like participating but what I watch tends to be a bit stronger than what I wish to experience.

For instance, I enjoy watching knockouts, real or fake. There’s something about watching the girl ignore her opponent’s pleas and just put them out. But in terms of experience, I’ve never been knocked out and the few times I came close weren’t the most pleasant.

I’ll also echo Zweig on this one in regards to experiencing without the woman knowing about the kink/fetish. Yes it’s fun for someone to act out your desires, but in my experiences, I’ve much preferred impromptu wrestling matches with girls as opposed to the ones with whom I’ve confided my desires. I guess that’s why I tend to not date the women I wrestle with and I also tend not to wrestle the women I date. It’s almost like I want them to enjoy the match, not do it because I like it if that makes sense.
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  #18  
Old 16-Feb-18, 22:16
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lisane lisane is offline
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Female Supremacy Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

Quote:
Originally Posted by cashley216 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Curious: How many guys here fantasize about

1) being beaten in a fight (or wrestling match) by a woman,

as opposed to

2) watching or reading about or hearing about some OTHER guy being beaten by a woman?


My fantasy (went realized many times) is:

1) being beaten in a fight (or wrestling match) by a woman.
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  #19  
Old 18-Feb-18, 00:38
cashley216 cashley216 is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

Good to see at least a few 2s.

I agree with SJW that the fight has to last a while for the male ego to unmistakably disintegrate. My own preference, actually, is for the woman to keep letting the guy up and to beat him again and again, just to make sure he gets the point. I want him NOT wanting a rematch, because he knows it's utterly hopeless.

Another kink within the kink: I know some guys like fantasies in which the guy is killed. For me, that ruins it. I want the guy to have to live with his humiliation.
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  #20  
Old 28-Feb-18, 03:27
funness13 funness13 is offline
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Default Re: Participatory vs. Voyeuristic Fantasies

I'm a 1. Some of the stories shared here are are great tho.
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