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  #1  
Old 17-Aug-16, 13:09
rennurliart rennurliart is offline
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Default Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

Those who have read my posts know that I have been looking for a great non session match with a female acquaintance, female friend or running partner etc. I just haven't been that successful.

I also have been taking an interest in martial arts. I tried judo, muay thay and went to my second jujitsu school earlier this week. Kind of doing the old "dojo tour"

Well, this week at jujitsu, we did live rolling and lo and behold, I ended up with an attractive purple belt as a rolling partner. Yatzee! right? Well, not so much. It was very clinical and hard to get turned on around a crowd. My mind never went to any erotic feelings, it was all in the context of the class and technique. Like I said, clinical.

What I found interesting was I never really knew what level of intensity I should go. I figured, she is a purple belt AND was helping to teach the class. So, I can go about 80 percent or so. I ended up on top the shole time and avoided her guard and anything she tried. It all prompted her to say "You sure you've never done this before?" "Your pass is legit, very quick" I could tell she was struggling with me. . . .or, was she just letting me have my way and taking it easy on me! Who knows? But the "How hard should I go?" question to myself was sort of baffling.

I just wish it all took place gee-less and in my spare room! Ha
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Old 17-Aug-16, 13:14
heisback heisback is offline
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

Don't go to a dojo to get turned on. Let's assume she beat you and you got a boner? Would you really want that in class?
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Old 17-Aug-16, 13:58
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LicensetoKill LicensetoKill is offline
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

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Originally Posted by heisback [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Don't go to a dojo to get turned on. Let's assume she beat you and you got a boner? Would you really want that in class?
As long as the guy's respectful and doesn't say anything out of place, I don't have a problem with going to things like that for excitement purposes, though it's pretty hit and miss.

And, yes, don't be obvious. If she says anything, just apologize, or say it's a reflex action and you can't help it. Ladies have complained about guys having boners in class, so it's not a good idea if it can be helped, but it also happens from time to time.
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Old 17-Aug-16, 14:02
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

Quote:
Originally Posted by rennurliart [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Those who have read my posts know that I have been looking for a great non session match with a female acquaintance, female friend or running partner etc. I just haven't been that successful.

I also have been taking an interest in martial arts. I tried judo, muay thay and went to my second jujitsu school earlier this week. Kind of doing the old "dojo tour"

Well, this week at jujitsu, we did live rolling and lo and behold, I ended up with an attractive purple belt as a rolling partner. Yatzee! right? Well, not so much. It was very clinical and hard to get turned on around a crowd. My mind never went to any erotic feelings, it was all in the context of the class and technique. Like I said, clinical.

What I found interesting was I never really knew what level of intensity I should go. I figured, she is a purple belt AND was helping to teach the class. So, I can go about 80 percent or so. I ended up on top the shole time and avoided her guard and anything she tried. It all prompted her to say "You sure you've never done this before?" "Your pass is legit, very quick" I could tell she was struggling with me. . . .or, was she just letting me have my way and taking it easy on me! Who knows? But the "How hard should I go?" question to myself was sort of baffling.

I just wish it all took place gee-less and in my spare room! Ha
How hard you should go depends on the lady. Ask her. Tell her you're new. Also, (I think), just being on top the whole time might get frustrating, ask her to teach you something from a different position maybe?

As for the class not being private, well, that can't be helped, unless she offers private training sessions, but even then, getting turned on might be seen as questionable.
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Old 17-Aug-16, 16:03
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

I've been thinking about taking jiujitsu, but I wonder, do guys wear groincups for that? You'd think it would be recommended with all that "intimate" contact. Or would it be weirder if you wore a cup?

I remember when I was taking TKD as a teenager, I had a lot of reflexive boners, and sometimes had them in class during stretches. Having a cup on didn't necessarily help, but in BJJ I imagine it might reduce some of that "intimacy" factor. It's encouraging to hear your description of the roll as "clinical" because I frankly would feel like a major creep if I got a boner rolling with a lady.
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Old 17-Aug-16, 20:55
MDwrestle MDwrestle is offline
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

Quote:
Originally Posted by rennurliart [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
"How hard should I get?" question to myself was sort of baffling.

I just wish it all took place gee-less and in my spare room! Ha
Speaking from a wrestler's point of view...If you're relying on your size, power, agility to take on a smaller/weaker opponent then you have lost.
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Old 17-Aug-16, 21:34
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

Well, that seems perfectly normal tbh. I don't think it'd be fair on the woman if you did get aroused - she's not here for any sexual reasons, I assume, so better for everyone that you stayed focused and in control.

Also maybe the fact that you handled her means it was a bad dojo? Genuinely, there's an awful lot of chancers out there.
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Old 17-Aug-16, 22:15
heisback heisback is offline
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

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Originally Posted by MDwrestle [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Speaking from a wrestler's point of view...If you're relying on your size, power, agility to take on a smaller/weaker opponent then you have lost.
Many grapplers use their size and strength advantage regardless of whether they could win by technique alone, I recall a world-class BJJer saying that but I can't remember his name. He was on video saying it.
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Old 17-Aug-16, 23:14
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

Sorry to say this, but if she had a purple belt and you are a noob, you must be one hell of an athlete, or massively bigger than her. That, or her belt and probably the whole dojo are really bullshit. A quick calculation is usually *one belt level per 20 lbs., as well as one level per 10 years of age difference. A purple belt is just a level less than brown and that's a pretty high ranking in BJJ. It regularly takes about 15 years of practice to get a black belt in this sport. I often roll with women in my BJJ class and have to say that it's fun, but under the circumstances; an audience, etc., it would be pretty difficult for me to get so turned on that I get a stiffy. I can see a situation where that might happen, but in a more private setting. If you stick with it, never know, you just might find yourself in that position. Good luck!
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Old 17-Aug-16, 23:51
rennurliart rennurliart is offline
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Default Re: Rolled with an attractive lady in jujitsu - meh

Quote:
Originally Posted by suplex [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Sorry to say this, but if she had a purple belt and you are a noob, you must be one hell of an athlete, or massively bigger than her. That, or her belt and probably the whole dojo are really bullshit. A quick calculation is usually *one belt level per 20 lbs., as well as one level per 10 years of age difference. A purple belt is just a level less than brown and that's a pretty high ranking in BJJ. It regularly takes about 15 years of practice to get a black belt in this sport. I often roll with women in my BJJ class and have to say that it's fun, but under the circumstances; an audience, etc., it would be pretty difficult for me to get so turned on that I get a stiffy. I can see a situation where that might happen, but in a more private setting. If you stick with it, never know, you just might find yourself in that position. Good luck!
You know, it's entirely possible that she was just letting me stay on top as she was practicing waiting for an opportunity to set something up. I have no idea if she was putting in full effort or not. I suspect she wasn't. She knew it was my first day.

Looking back at it, if she had choked me (the guy in there for the first day) or instantly gotten me in an arm bar, what good would that do anyone in this situation.

So, I guess she just let me brutishly wrestle her and gas myself while she used the time to play chess and tutor the noob.

Looking back at it more, I think I offered an appropriate amount of resistance in this situation. I think it was a positive, but not for reasons usually talked about on the site. Like I said, clinical.
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