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Old 31-Jan-17, 15:57
gerhardberger gerhardberger is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

Hi everyone!

After a lot of time reading posts in this forum I think I can feel certain to say that most people with an account here are actually ashamed of it. I read multiple times about men who don't want anyone to know about their fetish, others who share it only with their partner, or with some close friend... and so on.

And I wonder why! Well, of course I can figure out, but, in my opinion, being excited about wrestling a woman should be nothing to feel shame of. It is neither better nor worse than any other sexual preference. I don't feel "less masculine" at all for this. I can say I am indeed PROUD of liking what I like!!

Maybe the reason behind this lives among the cultural/generational differences between me and the average user of this forum (I'm a Spanish guy in his early twenties, lots of readers here are not) Please share your experiences on this topic to compare people with different background and let's see if we can arrive to conclusions.

And please, don't get me wrong, I don't wanna criticize anyone, nor tell anyone what he should or shouldn't do. My intention is just to share my values with you, to think about it together and to improve our lifes. I can assure you absolutelly nothing went wrong with any of my firends (both male and female) when I told them about these things (most of them actually know) It was in fact the opposite!


----------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I should clarify something about the last sentence of the first post. It's not that they feel more related to me after I tell them about mixed wrestling, femdom and so on because they're sorry in some way. Not at all. We all feel happy about it, we can even make jokes without anyone feeling offended (this will be kind of difficult for Americans, though )

Last edited by gerhardberger; 31-Jan-17 at 15:59. Reason: Incompletion // confusion
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Old 31-Jan-17, 16:50
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KillerCrushes KillerCrushes is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

Among consenting adults, I only care about what turns on my partner and me. I'm not concerned with anyone's reactions to what isn't even their business in the first place. lol I am "openly" into mixed competition, including combat. I can't say specifically why it's my kink, nor do I really care about that either. Because it's so natural, I don't find any need to question.

Of course, the people who are into scat would likely describe that as "natural", too, so.....

All that said, to the OP, one of the things to keep in mind is that shame and embarrassment is an integral part of the fantasies and fetishes many people have. So, expressing some degree of shame publicly here can be therapeutic...or maybe even gets them off a bit.

If it's healthy for that individual, then it works.
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Old 31-Jan-17, 17:05
desertgoodguy desertgoodguy is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

some might call it catholic guilt lololol
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Old 31-Jan-17, 17:15
j94n j94n is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gerhardberger [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Hi everyone!

After a lot of time reading posts in this forum I think I can feel certain to say that most people with an account here are actually ashamed of it. I read multiple times about men who don't want anyone to know about their fetish, others who share it only with their partner, or with some close friend... and so on.

And I wonder why! Well, of course I can figure out, but, in my opinion, being excited about wrestling a woman should be nothing to feel shame of. It is neither better nor worse than any other sexual preference. I don't feel "less masculine" at all for this. I can say I am indeed PROUD of liking what I like!!

Maybe the reason behind this lives among the cultural/generational differences between me and the average user of this forum (I'm a Spanish guy in his early twenties, lots of readers here are not) Please share your experiences on this topic to compare people with different background and let's see if we can arrive to conclusions.

And please, don't get me wrong, I don't wanna criticize anyone, nor tell anyone what he should or shouldn't do. My intention is just to share my values with you, to think about it together and to improve our lifes. I can assure you absolutelly nothing went wrong with any of my firends (both male and female) when I told them about these things (most of them actually know) It was in fact the opposite!


----------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I should clarify something about the last sentence of the first post. It's not that they feel more related to me after I tell them about mixed wrestling, femdom and so on because they're sorry in some way. Not at all. We all feel happy about it, we can even make jokes without anyone feeling offended (this will be kind of difficult for Americans, though )
Its just not a social norm. Also labels that society puts on men.
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Old 31-Jan-17, 17:52
electrica electrica is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

why this stuck out for me. Hi I am a noob I guess you can call me that. I love American wrestling like WWE and such and I am female and I just moved here to the states from South Yorkshire UK. I have to be discreet , I am not ashamed about entertaining this mixed wrestling as to what my employer might think and my clients out of the wrestling arena. I guess that is why some of us cannot and will not use are real names and we will do anything to protect are real identity from our wrestling identity. When it is something that comes natural , oh yes indeed. I want my opponents to move with me like they know what is coming like in WWE , but they resist it but work into the move as if we had done this many times. That is what I like about it . Other than that I can sleep well at night knowing that I did very well at my sessions and also I can sleep well because I did not compromise my values and morals. I am a wrestler, nothing else nothing more and there is no shame in that. My name is Electrica. If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask. I just moved to the states and I am excited to get to know people in the session wrestling arena. I also have a real job and what is that? Some would say mixed wrestling is a real job and I agree . What I mean is in the mainstream where we can use are real names and feel free to share are lives with friends we meet at the job. With the sessions and wrestling I cannot say I could do that with people. Just go to the session and have fun. I like it and I really do not care if my opponent loves this. I do not judge my opponent because that would be like judging myself. Anyways just a quirky way of putting it I guess. Thank you!! Electrica!!Please email me at [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]. I am doing outcalls. I stay with friends until I can find a suitable place. Thank you again.

Last edited by electrica; 31-Jan-17 at 17:57. Reason: forgot to put my email
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Old 31-Jan-17, 21:47
gerhardberger gerhardberger is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by j94n [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Its just not a social norm. Also labels that society puts on men.

Dear j94n:

Thank you for your point, it's actually an interesting one to discuss, but, when we say society puts labels on us.... Who do we really mean? It's not as much of a trivial question as it may appear, we can say "a majority of people out there", but how many of those will you ever meet? Who exactly do we count? People from our town? From our neighbourhood? From our country?

Maybe we can count only our relatives, friends, closed neighbours and so on... but if they are going to judge me for what I do and for what I like, then maybe the right thing to do is to change our relationships instead of hiding ourselves from what we are. After all, come on! Even being gay is accepted today!! Can we really be that "bad"?

If you want me to prove I am not ashamed of this, here you have my facebook profile [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Anyone can check my real identity, hometown, interests and so on...

Quote:
Originally Posted by electrica [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
why this stuck out for me. Hi I am a noob I guess you can call me that. I love American wrestling like WWE and such and I am female and I just moved here to the states from South Yorkshire UK. I have to be discreet , I am not ashamed about entertaining this mixed wrestling as to what my employer might think and my clients out of the wrestling arena. I guess that is why some of us cannot and will not use are real names and we will do anything to protect are real identity from our wrestling identity. When it is something that comes natural , oh yes indeed. I want my opponents to move with me like they know what is coming like in WWE , but they resist it but work into the move as if we had done this many times. That is what I like about it . Other than that I can sleep well at night knowing that I did very well at my sessions and also I can sleep well because I did not compromise my values and morals. I am a wrestler, nothing else nothing more and there is no shame in that. My name is Electrica. If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask. I just moved to the states and I am excited to get to know people in the session wrestling arena. I also have a real job and what is that? Some would say mixed wrestling is a real job and I agree . What I mean is in the mainstream where we can use are real names and feel free to share are lives with friends we meet at the job. With the sessions and wrestling I cannot say I could do that with people. Just go to the session and have fun. I like it and I really do not care if my opponent loves this. I do not judge my opponent because that would be like judging myself. Anyways just a quirky way of putting it I guess. Thank you!! Electrica!!Please email me at [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]. I am doing outcalls. I stay with friends until I can find a suitable place. Thank you again.
Dear Electrica,

Probably your employer and clinets would ask you for a session
Thank you for sharing your experience. And of course wrestling sessions can be a real job, just under the same conditions are any other job can be a "real job"! It only depends on how many clients do you have and how much are they willing to pay!
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Old 31-Jan-17, 23:34
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wyldesguy wyldesguy is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

At one time I was very open about my wrestling interests. I would let women I dated know about it when we got to that stage of the relationship where sex was on the horizon and the discussion of "what do you like" was the topic. In the 80's and most of the 90's there was a bit of intrigue evident in the ladies when I mentioned it and even more once I explained my history of wrestling with previous girlfriends and acquaintances. it didn't always become part of our relations, but it wasn't a deal breaker either. However, later in the 90's there became a negativity to the idea with many of the women I would broach the topic with, to the point of a number of them accusing me of being an abuser and having a wife beater mentality. It may have been just the women I was meeting at that time, but it seemed to be quite prevalent and to coincide with the tapering off of interest in women wrestling overall. During this time frame there was much less public locations that held a "substance wrestling" night, there "seemed" to be a reduction in video productions of the topic and a number of the sources, that were popular and well used around the topic, disappeared or significantly reduced their production. So there may have been a shift in the outlook towards the subject from the "mainstream" society. This may be the reason why people seem to be ashamed or at the very least tight lipped about their private interest. There is also a number of employers now that have either written or verbal morality clauses that they expect their employees to adhere to, which someone could be in violation of if they were found to be doing something deemed "unacceptable" by the employer. Add to that the very necessarily broad determination of sexual harassment in the workplace and again you have people not really wanting to "put out there" what they like to do in their spare time.
I am now married, my wife does not enjoy wrestling (although she will watch an MMA match with great glee), she does not see the eroticism in it or why it could be fun, but she accepts my interest in it. We are swingers, and through that lifestyle I have met a number of women who are eager to try or have tried mixed wrestling and want to do it again. I have yet to meet, talk to or get called names about my "interest" by anyone in this lifestyle because it is a lifestyle of much more open minded people than you will find in the mainstream. They are by no means ALL interested in trying it, but anyone who is interested in it is allowed to express that interest without worry of being shunned, disavowed, or degraded by anyone. Just a few thoughts as to why people keep this to themselves, and why some, don't.
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Old 01-Feb-17, 02:24
furrygrappler furrygrappler is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

Because shame is strongly associated with sexual fetishism. If you weren't ashamed, you probably wouldn't be so interested in it.
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Old 01-Feb-17, 02:26
electrica electrica is offline
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

yeah , I understand. and thank you !!!

Quote:
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Because shame is strongly associated with sexual fetishism. If you weren't ashamed, you probably wouldn't be so interested in it.
Very Good Point
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Old 01-Feb-17, 04:05
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Default Re: Why are we so ashamed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerCrushes [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
shame and embarrassment is an integral part of the fantasies and fetishes many people have. So, expressing some degree of shame publicly here can be therapeutic...or maybe even gets them off a bit.
Can you elaborate on that point?
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