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  #1  
Old 06-Feb-13, 17:28
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jiminy jiminy is offline
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Default Ronda Rousey Vs. Me

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So a couple of months ago, I was on twitter, talking trash about how Ronda Rousey couldn't beat a pro Boxer. I'm going back and forth with a mate of mine who disagrees and I eventually go as far as saying *I* could beat Ronda. Suddenly I get a reply from Ronda herself, mocking me, saying she'd make me her bitch and if we ever fought, I'd be her first KO victim.

I was pretty humbled by her words and stop using twitter, even though I still feel I could beat her, especially in a stand up fight. After all, I used to Box for 4 years and although I don't Box anymore, I still work out regularly, running, swimming and weight training.

I walked into my gym the next day and the place was buzzing with activity. All eyes were on me as I made my way inside. Suddenly, my heart skips a beat as I see a cage has been set up and Ronda is standing inside, in the flesh, wearing her tiny black compression shorts and sports bra, her hair scraped up into her trademark buns.

"I just stopped by for a work out - on you." She confidently stated as many cheered her words. "Let's see how tough you are when you're not behind a screen!"

I'm in utter shock, but left with no option but to glove-up and change into a pair of board-shorts and join Ronda in the cage as 100 or so people spectate. Many have camera phones recording the action.

With me standing 5'8(174cm), 155lbs(71KG), we're around the same size with Ronda at 5'7" and in weighing around 150lbs in between fights.

"You ready to get fucked up, bitch?" Ronda arrogantly called with an evil smile.

Finally the action begins. I get into a my orthodox boxing stance, ducking and weaving my head, flicking out a few faint jabs. Suddenly a smile breaks out on Ronda's face as she drops her hands to her hips and simply laughs at me.

"You wanna hit me, bitch? Let's see what you got - try to hit me." She challenged, still standing with her hands resting on her hips.

I angrily step in and swing a powerful right hook at her jaw but she leans back to evade, my punch sailing a couple of inches from its intended target.

I fire another and another, but she casually dodges them with embarrassing ease, not even moving her feet as my punches find nothing but air.

Suddenly, Ronda rushes me, she pushes me against the cage, securing a body lock. I fumble with what limited grappling skills I have. Suddenly I'm seeing the ceiling, then the side of the cage in a rush of acceleration before my eyes as I finally feel my body crash to the mat. Ronda had neatly flipped me to the ground.

Before I knew anything else, looked to my left and saw flashes of black painted toe-nails and of olympic rings tattooed to her ankle, and to my right, my arm was snared in the python grip of her thighs, her gloved hands holding my wrist. Then came the pain of her expertly applied arm-bar.

"Argh!!!" I screamed out, the pain overwhelming me, quelling any arm-chair thoughts of heroics I thought I might have had as I went to begrudgingly tap out to this superior fighter.

Surprisingly I felt her grip loosen, and her hand caught mine as I went to tap.

"Oh hell no Boxing bitch!" I heard her call. "I said I'd make you my first K.O. - remember?"

I'm inspired by her foolish decision not to end the fight when she had the chance. All I needed was one punch and I'd put her out, I thought to myself as we both got back to our feet.

This time Ronda also brought up her hands in a Boxing stance. I flicked out a couple more jabs that she blocked easily. Suddenly her left crashed into my nose as numb pain spread across my face. I didn't even see it coming, she was so fast.

"THAT is how you jab." she said.

I gritted my teeth down onto my gum-shield as the pain fuelled my anger and I took another swing at her. My punch crashed into her arms as she blocked it.

"Pfff... You can't punch for shit." She laughed, dropping her hands again. "Come on, give me your best shot." She challenged, tapping her chin.

She had really pissed me off at this point and I had completely lost my temper. I took up her challenge without hesitation and wound up a huge hay-maker of a right with every ounce of strength I'd had behind it.

I'd floored plenty of guys from my boxing days and had no doubts that one hard, well-placed punch would put this arrogant bitch out for the count. ...My fist thudded against her jaw and I knew that would be it. I waited for her to drop, already hoping I hadn't hurt her too badly.

"Jeez, that's the best you got!?" She laughed with seemingly genuine astonishment as I stood there, totally perplexed.She had taken my best punch like it was nothing, bouncing off her iron jaw like a rain drop.

I swallowed a dry gulp and looked at her in awe.

Was I that weak? Was she that tough?

"Come on, I'll show you how to punch like a girl - looks like you need to learn." She mocked.

As she advanced, I backed away from her. Suddenly she seemed a lot bigger and I felt a lot smaller.

"Uh oh... Here she comes..." Ronda teased as she came after me.

Suddenly I had nowhere to go as she proficiently out manoeuvred me. I heard a loud smack and then felt shooting pain in my knee as she nailed me with a hard leg kick.

For the cheering crowd she then performed some skilful acrobatic kicks, showing the full range of her flexibility and talents; spinning wheel kicks, crescent kicks and jumping kung-fu kicks that had me running from her lethal bare feet like a scared little rabbit.

I was getting tired from all this running, and as she hammered home a couple more hard leg kicks, my movement began to get impaired.

"I'm going to knock you out with one punch." She promised, kissing her right gloved hand, almost sensuously with those soft full lips before she mockingly wound up her fist with slow circular motions.

The next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed with a doctor shining a light into my eyeball. Later a friend of mine showed me the footage on his phone of what finally happened, with Ronda keeping her promise and indeed knocking me unconscious with a single, lazy punch. It was like I was moving in slow motion compared to her. I didn't even see it coming. My head snapped to the side as her punch connected and my limp body crashed face-first to the floor, out cold.

I continued to watch the video as Ronda dug her foot under and flipped my lifeless body over and posed with her foot on my face much to the delight of all the women that had seen her totally and utterly tool me in the cage.

Ronda flexed her impressive biceps as she alternated between victory-posing with her foot on my face and chest.

She then came up to the camera and said that was TOO easy and that she was off for a real work out.

A few hours later my girlfriend came to the hospital and I was able to check out and she drove me home. On the way back, my girlfriend chastised me, saying how that would teach me not to make any more dumb tweets, and that she was glad to have seen Ronda give me a damn good beat down.

Not long after we had arrived home there was a knock at the door. I heard my girlfriend answer. My heart skipped a beat as Ronda walked into my living room

"...Ronda, w.w.what the fuck are you doing in my house?" I stuttered from the sofa as Ronda power-posed in front of me.

"Well, after I had knocked you out, I thought you looked kinda cute, and I wanted to check that you were okay..."

"I'm okay." I dejectedly spoke.

"That's good." She said softly. "...You know, I didn't hit you that hard. If I had..."

"Is that all?" I cut her off, not wanting to listen to her brag how easily she had beaten me, or that she could kill me with her bare hands, if she wanted to...

"No..." She said, reaching down and tenderly pulling me to my feet. "I also came here to do this."

She backed me up against the wall and then she kissed me. I resisted at first, but she was persistent, and soon I was enjoying the best kiss I'd ever had as her tongue forced its way into my mouth. Damn it, even her tongue felt stronger than mine! All the while my girlfriend, Becca, looked on in astonishment.

"Tell her you want me." Ronda said, breaking our kiss and looking at Becca with that evil grin.

I was hesitant at first, but with another light kiss Ronda had broken me emotionally as well as physically. "Tell her." Her encouraging words once more forcing me to admit the truth.

"I want her." I said to Becca as I wrapped my arms around Ronda and we kissed again.

"Jimmie!" Becca whined, almost in tears.

"Aww." Ronda mockingly sympathised as Becca scowled at her. Ronda simply scowled back at her.

"Oh, what? You wanna fight over him?"

Becca stayed silent and dropped her head.

"Didn't think so." Ronda whispered.

With that I felt myself being thrown over Ronda's strong shoulders as she set off for the bedroom.

"Don't go too far hon" She called back to my girlfriend, you can bring me a glass of lemonade when we're done. With ice, 'kay?"

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-The End-

---

Any comments appreciated. Also if you have any story requests or ideas for similarly themed stories I will try to incorporate them into future stories.

Last edited by jiminy; 06-Feb-13 at 18:41.
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  #2  
Old 06-Feb-13, 17:53
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sheehan sheehan is offline
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Default Re: Ronda Rousey Vs. Me

Ha Ha ... Nice story, now just dont let Ronda read it and make an appearance at ur place

the ending might be a little different in that case !!! LOL
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Old 06-Feb-13, 17:58
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jiminy jiminy is offline
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Default Re: Ronda Rousey Vs. Me

Cheers sheehan.
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  #4  
Old 07-Feb-13, 03:08
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vassa vassa is offline
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Default Re: Ronda Rousey Vs. Me

That's cool that she actually responded to you. In a match though, she would add your arms to her collection.
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Old 18-Feb-13, 23:05
pericles77 pericles77 is offline
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Default Re: Ronda Rousey Vs. Me

i heard she said she wanted to fighta guy today. does anytone know who and why?
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