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  #141  
Old 20-Feb-15, 20:30
chosenone chosenone is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Quote:
Originally Posted by boyofwinter [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
As to the other strain of conversation on this thread, I have no problem considering it 100% nonsense. There is far too much evidence of such processes failing on a large scale among people who would have all the motivation in the world to want to dispose of their given inclinations.
This is where you are wrong. Motivation is only 10%. Self-discipline, aka abstaining is the 90% percent, the important part.

Motivation is okay, but discipline gets results.
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  #142  
Old 20-Feb-15, 23:04
enigma enigma is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

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Originally Posted by chosenone [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
There is no ''scientific'' research into this because none of it exists, it hasn't been done. I have given you a database with thousands of personal, individual accounts. I've known people to have success with it. It's a logical concept, if you abstain from a feitsh, your lust for it will be forced to re-adjust itself if you want to function.
Just because something appears or sounds logical does not mean it has any actual basis in reality. I can find success stories and personal accounts for junk medicine that generally doesn't work and all sorts of other nonsense that sounds seemingly plausible at first glance. We have no way to verify these accounts or test them in any real way and even a handful of genuine success stories won't mean much on a larger scale.

As you say this is not something that has ever been researched scientifically, yet these articles talk about "rebooting" your brain as though it were a scientifically accepted and understood process.
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  #143  
Old 21-Feb-15, 03:59
Ryan Futuristics Ryan Futuristics is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

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Originally Posted by chosenone [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I, like others who reboot don't have sex drive, believe it or not, all I want is to be headscissored, I don't care about sex. This is why rebooting may work better for someone like me, and other people who carry a fetish which far outweighs the sex drive.
I can relate

A girl best-friend had the same thing, and was quite worried about it - she got "bored" of sex and could only be aroused when being spanked ... and it got in the way of her relationship at the time (and of her friends had had similar things)

I found myself getting to where I wasn't interested enough in regular sex, and I was indulging this fetish too often online, etc. What worked for me was abstaining from sex/masturbation for maybe 2 or 3 months, and then it wasn't like the old turn-ons went away, but they were certainly in a much healthier balance with plain old vanilla
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  #144  
Old 21-Feb-15, 07:42
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Naji Naji is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Are you guys Christians or what?
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  #145  
Old 21-Feb-15, 11:05
Blobfish Blobfish is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaythefire666 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Can we do a questionnaire? Just answer with a string of yes and no. Answer the questions if the sight of a woman physically dominating anyone (man or woman) sexually arouses you:

1. Did you have a dominant mom?
2. Did you have a passive dad?
3. Did you long for female company in your early teens to 20s but didn't get it?
4. Are you thin boned for a man?
5. Did you have any form of anxiety or depression for many years in your teens?
6. Were you insulted (social embarrassment) by girl (s) you were attracted to?
7. Did you see a girl close to you be treated better often?
8. Were you humiliated at a loss at a sport or fight with a girl at a young age?
9. Were you beaten by your mom often?

I am trying to see a pattern. Sexuality certainly forms in a child I think through experiences. But the understanding is not so straightforward. I think question #3 might actually be common to many. But if I could get replies as a string of yes and nos for these questions, I might see some patterns.
1. Did you have a dominant mom? No
2. Did you have a passive dad? (Passive, but aggressive)
3. Did you long for female company in your early teens to 20s but didn't get it? (No and don't need, since I never saw such a girl what I would like)
4. Are you thin boned for a man? (No)
5. Did you have any form of anxiety or depression for many years in your teens? (No)
6. Were you insulted (social embarrassment) by girl (s) you were attracted to? (No)
7. Did you see a girl close to you be treated better often? (Yes)
8. Were you humiliated at a loss at a sport or fight with a girl at a young age? (No)
9. Were you beaten by your mom often? (No)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ♥αlphα♀ [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], yes clearly, and by traditional I include the "modern" one as well, I mean look whom Hollywood chooses to cast for female superheroes and how fashion mags are represent the "ideal woman", the bones/meat spec was getting so low some models started to die from anorexia ! Depiction of realsitic female physical power is more hidden now than it was in any of the ancient civilisations. Are they afraid of something ?
Yes, these modern skinny "models" are VERY unattractive to me. I hate modern Hollywood ideals.

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Originally Posted by Skooby [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I had a bully growing up. I was 7-10 years old and this girl would just punch and kick me for no reason. She'd throw me to ground and just hold me there. She was mean. She was actually a year younger than I was, but I remember her being very strong. She was always winning the track races against the boys in school.

As I got older, I just always looked for women who were strong and had a mean streak. Women who were dominant. I have a foot fetish also. Again, maybe it started when I was a kid with this girl. She would pin me down, like stand on me and I couldn't move. Or she would pin me against a wall with her foot (she took karate as well). I think everything started with this girl bully when I was a kid.
--------

She would mess with everybody boys and some girls that weren't her friends. Mainly me though, since we lived right next to each other and our parents were friends. This was on a military base...we were army brats.

I never beat her. I don't know how to fight lol. I have been a science-fiction, video game nerd since I was 7 (I'm 37 now and I'm still gaming!). I only actually tried to fight her a couple of times. I lost. She would just punch me in the stomach and I'd kneel over, then she'd put me in a headlock and that would be it. Most times I just tried to keep her off and away from me or tried to run away. But again, she was faster so she would catch me and I couldn't get her off me because she was stronger than me too. What I would do is just try my best until she left me alone.
I also was beaten by a girl without any reason. Good, she wasn't so strong and I could fight back. Of course, it was only abusive for me. I NEVER dreamed about being beaten.

Quote:
Originally Posted by freestylefan [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
You could also, of course, embrace "chastity" as a way of life and become a saint.
Since such a girl, what I would like is too rare and even when I meet her, she may be married or want to marry OTHER man or... It may be different reasons, but all my fantasies have zero-to-none relationship with porn or BDSM. Enough to see her super-strong legs in action, breaking boards, watermelons and clay pots, bouncing a soccer ball on her knee and kicking it on 50 meters; assist her at training (she may kick me, but when I would wear protection) or some wrestling, but not for pain, just to show she's much stronger; working together (at sample, we are working at building and she shows me how she breaks a brick on halves over knee or help me at lifting heavy objects) or having a picnic (she crushes a watermelon between thighs/by knee and offers a piece of it to me, breaks wood for fire over knee, kicks an old stump as Kathy Long in "Knights"). Good sample, where I could meet my imaginary girl is army of some countries such as DPRK or old Albania. Well, TKD belongs to daily training of DPRK army, working on constructions or fields is also common. But of course, no sex allowed at service and no dedovschina as well. But for me would be enough just to see her and admire her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zweig [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Are you guys Christians or what?
I am 100% ATHEIST and don't believe in any god or anything unmaterial. Girl from my fantasies is also placed in atheist country. But we are all atheists towards Zeus, Osiris, Thor, Perun and many other gods created by human fantasy.
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Last edited by Blobfish; 21-Feb-15 at 11:22.
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  #146  
Old 21-Feb-15, 15:39
chosenone chosenone is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zweig [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Are you guys Christians or what?
I'm Atheist...
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  #147  
Old 21-Feb-15, 15:44
chosenone chosenone is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Quote:
Originally Posted by enigma [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Just because something appears or sounds logical does not mean it has any actual basis in reality. I can find success stories and personal accounts for junk medicine that generally doesn't work and all sorts of other nonsense that sounds seemingly plausible at first glance. We have no way to verify these accounts or test them in any real way and even a handful of genuine success stories won't mean much on a larger scale.

As you say this is not something that has ever been researched scientifically, yet these articles talk about "rebooting" your brain as though it were a scientifically accepted and understood process.
But the analogy you're using isn't practical. Abstaining from masturbation has for years been a well known method. These junk medicines have been disproven. Even on this thread, there's another user who agreed that abstaining is effective (post #143).

So even if what I say isn't universally true, it's a massive stretch to say it's baseless.

These rebooting articles don't seem very Scientific to me, it's a Cognitive process, not a Biological one.
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  #148  
Old 21-Feb-15, 18:39
freestylefan freestylefan is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Effective...to accomplish what exactly?
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  #149  
Old 21-Feb-15, 19:25
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

"Rebooting" did work for me : on watching TV and listening to mass medias.
I unplugged my TV antenna 13 years ago and never put it back since. The first weeks or months I felt alone and cut off, missing the programs I used to watch and the journalists I used to trust. But it slowly felt like reapropriating my brain, I was more curious about events, including past ones, started to realize some of their lies and propaganda technics, I began to search who they belonged to, and from there it was over.

My point is that abstinence worked only because it allowed me to see the object of my addiction from outside and judge it, and because this judgment was disgust.

On the other hand when I was with my fiancée and thinking of no other woman than her, implicitlty abstaining from watching and meeting physicaly superior and dominant women for over a year, it never made me feel that this fascination had been harmful for me or bad in itself. In this case "rebooting" didn't lead to "quitting".
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  #150  
Old 21-Feb-15, 21:19
enigma enigma is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosenone [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
But the analogy you're using isn't practical. Abstaining from masturbation has for years been a well known method. These junk medicines have been disproven. Even on this thread, there's another user who agreed that abstaining is effective (post #143).

So even if what I say isn't universally true, it's a massive stretch to say it's baseless.

These rebooting articles don't seem very Scientific to me, it's a Cognitive process, not a Biological one.
As to your first point, I'm not sure what you're talking about when you say abstaining from masturbation has been a well known method. Method for what? I've heard of it lowering ones sex drive but not for changing sexual desires.

The post you reference said that he found a better balance, not that his desires went away. And before that we have other posters saying this stuff didn't work for them. Indeed one of the reasons this actually doesnt seem logical to me is because our interests didn't come from porn. For most of us we developed fetishes based on past experiences or in some cases for reasons we can't fully explain. But its not like we watch porn and are then corrupted by it. It may be the case that porn in some instances can exacerbate the issue but the core desire was always there. Porn just opens new avenues to enjoy it.

I know for me I started watching porn far after most of my friends then but I was still having these fantasies years before I even knew sites like this existed.

Junk medicine has been debunked, yet some still honestly swear by it. Theres never been a study to verify or deny this "rebooting" and as I've said, some unmonitored success stories doesn't really cut it. You've insisting, especially in the first post from you I quoted, that there are certain fetishes that everyone should be able to completely do away with and I don't see where you have a leg to stand on there. The same is true with your statement about people being able to change certain sexualities but not others.

Last edited by enigma; 21-Feb-15 at 21:38.
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