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  #31  
Old 16-Mar-17, 03:51
musclelov musclelov is offline
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Default Re: private or public

Have not told family members, friends about mixed wrestling.There is a stocky mature women who works at a resturant i go to regularly.She is in good shape and i'd love a fantasy wrestle with her. But i don't want to be rejected,and she is married.
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  #32  
Old 17-Mar-17, 04:21
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schatten_PhD schatten_PhD is offline
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Default Re: private or public

Quote:
Originally Posted by rcress232 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
That's a good question. I am very selective in who I tell because there are many people out there very judgmental about these kinds of desires. Sometimes though I wonder if my experience would be broader if I were more open, at least with women, since every longtime female friend I have told about my desires to be dominated - and there have only been a few I've told - was receptive and ended up dominating me to some degree. One in particular was really awesome about it and once pinned me down for 4 hours before she tied me up. So maybe being open could lead to more experiences, but could also end up blowing up in your face.
Woah, woah, woah. "every longtime female friend"?? seriously? how many of these did this happen with?

I have a bit of a hard time believing this, but maybe you know women who are a lot more open-minded than some of my female friends.

Added after 14 minutes:

Interesting topic. I've only really told one very good friend about my interests and sessions. A few select others know that I'm into dominant women but don't know that I'm specifically into wrestling.

I've found some people to be really judgemental about kinks, but it really depends on who they are. I'll disclose slightly more to those I trust more.

Last edited by schatten_PhD; 17-Mar-17 at 04:21.
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  #33  
Old 17-Mar-17, 11:58
rcress232 rcress232 is offline
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Default Re: private or public

I perhaps wasn't clear in my language there. I don't mean every longtime female friend I've ever had ended up dominating me. There were many longtime female friends I never told. Four of them I did tell, and all four of those females ended up doing at least a little bit of dominating of me, but it never led to anything other than a few encounters. But, of course, each one is memorable. So, only four women fall into this category. One of the women pinned me down on two occasions, one tied me up on two occasions, the one I mentioned in the post probably tied me up on eight or nine occasions and pinned me down first most of those times, and the fourth woman only pinned me down and tied me up on one occasion, but she was the only one who stripped me naked while she was dominating me.

As I've mentioned in other posts, when I think a woman might be receptive or non-judgmental, I bring up the question of whether or not she pinned down boys when she was younger. In three of the four above cases, the answer was yes. In the fourth, she said she hadn't, but a previous boyfriend had once asked her to whip him with a crop.

But given the number of female friends I've had over the years, four is not that many, and none of those led to the lasting, female dominance dynamic I've always wanted to experience.

Touching on the judgmental nature of some people, I was once really kind of depressed about what I was feeling regarding this when I was in my 20s and was thinking of telling my sister just so I would have someone to talk to. Without getting specific, it became clear without me giving anything away she was very, very intolerant of these kinds of desires and was not going to be the right person to talk to about what I was feeling. Also to be clear, I would not have told her for the purpose of getting her to do anything with me, just because in that moment I really needed to talk about it and thought she'd be a good sounding board. Also, she knows a lot of different kinds of people and might have known someone who might have made a good dominant for me.

Hope that clarifies my meaning.
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  #34  
Old 17-Mar-17, 12:40
al89 al89 is offline
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Default Re: private or public

I don't have any close friends. I think friendships suck and take too much energy out of you. I think feeling the need to talk to people about your private life is a weakness. When I feel like being social I get in touch with people I met from all kinds of specific hobbies and interests I have and then talk only about that specific hobby or activity almost exclusively. In this way, when I want to talk about mixed wrestling, I come here.

I'm pretty open about it to women though when I get to know them well enough and if I think they'll maybe be willing to do it.
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Old 17-Mar-17, 19:02
brooksie
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  #35  
Old 17-Mar-17, 19:36
HeadScissorFan HeadScissorFan is offline
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Default Re: private or public

So you can play the role of dumb internet psychologist, I take it? Here is a bright idea: Why don't you actually make a poll instead of the passive aggressive nonsense you constantly spout? If you care so much about someone else's viewpoints about friendships and relationships , then go on. Make a poll, genius.
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  #36  
Old 17-Mar-17, 20:20
al89 al89 is offline
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Default Re: private or public

Quote:
Originally Posted by brooksie [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
"I don't have any close friends. I think friendships suck and take too much energy out of you."

"I don't like sex
Nothing wrong with not liking it"

"Normal relationships these days suck. That's why people are constantly getting divorced and can't stand each other."

Just wondering how common these kinds of attitudes are around here. Are most mixed wrestling fans loners with mild anti-social tendencies?
I'm not a "loner" or "anti-social". Back in the day I used to hang out with a large group of friends every weekend drinking and partying and during the week we used to eat together and hang out, then I figured out it's just a waste of time. I'm not shy around women either. If there's some really hot woman I'd approach her and try to figure out what she's like. I have academic success and I'm athletic and in top shape.

I could have probably been a typical regular "normal" guy if I wanted to be. The reason why I'm not is because I don't want to be.

I have my own ambitious goals in life. To be perfectly honest about myself, I've just always been highly competitive and wanted to be better than everyone else at everything I wanted to do. I always looked up to elite athletes and powerful historic people. I have no problems with being honest about it and if people don't like this I don't care, I never did anything bad to anybody. I'm nice to people I meet and I don't mind having meaningful conversations with them, I just don't like idle chit chat or stupid jokes. I have a lot of hobbies and interests and I can always find something to talk about with people.

I have no interest to participate in modern social life and relationships that are basically just some stupid popularity contests and insecure people looking for each other's approval. Guys trying to make some insecure girls like them and then feel good or bad about themselves on the basis on that. They base their confidence on the basis of what a woman or their group of male friends think about it. To me, that's pathetic and I could never be strong and truly confident if I lived like that.

The thing is I don't actually mind what other people do, there's something out there for everybody. I don't judge the modern society and I don't look down on anyone. I just chose a different path, I made my own path actually. It's the modern society that judges me and tries to paint me as something that this society views as negative. Even if I was a loner, what exactly is wrong with liking solitude? Ascetic life is the best foundation for success. The thing is the stereotypes about people like me that the society enforces have become so mean and widespread that people who might be like that too are basically forced to act according to the norms or are scared to be different and come out.

There are probably a lot more people that have attitudes like me or some similar attitudes that you don't like, but they're afraid to come up with it because even on the internet people are ganging up on them and try to bully them with some stupid memes or tell them to seek help. So then the few that do appear extra weird.

Personally I don't care about that, in fact I actually like it that so many people think that my lifestyle is somehow wrong. It just motivates me to improve myself in all areas of life and then flaunt my success in their faces. It awakes my competitive spirit completely. I know people don't like these sort of character traits but in reality every athlete that I look up to is pretty much like that.

I like this place here precisely because it's one of the rare places where people won't judge me (at least not most of them) and I feel good about it and about the people here.

Last edited by al89; 17-Mar-17 at 20:37.
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  #37  
Old 17-Mar-17, 21:04
brooksie brooksie is offline
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Default Re: private or public

Quote:
Originally Posted by al89 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I'm not a "loner" or "anti-social". Back in the day I used to hang out with a large group of friends every weekend drinking and partying and during the week we used to eat together and hang out, then I figured out it's just a waste of time. I'm not shy around women either. If there's some really hot woman I'd approach her and try to figure out what she's like. I have academic success and I'm athletic and in top shape.

I could have probably been a typical regular "normal" guy if I wanted to be. The reason why I'm not is because I don't want to be.

I have my own ambitious goals in life. To be perfectly honest about myself, I've just always been highly competitive and wanted to be better than everyone else at everything I wanted to do. I always looked up to elite athletes and powerful historic people. I have no problems with being honest about it and if people don't like this I don't care, I never did anything bad to anybody. I'm nice to people I meet and I don't mind having meaningful conversations with them, I just don't like idle chit chat or stupid jokes. I have a lot of hobbies and interests and I can always find something to talk about with people.

I have no interest to participate in modern social life and relationships that are basically just some stupid popularity contests and insecure people looking for each other's approval. Guys trying to make some insecure girls like them and then feel good or bad about themselves on the basis on that. They base their confidence on the basis of what a woman or their group of male friends think about it. To me, that's pathetic and I could never be strong and truly confident if I lived like that.

The thing is I don't actually mind what other people do, there's something out there for everybody. I don't judge the modern society and I don't look down on anyone. I just chose a different path, I made my own path actually. It's the modern society that judges me and tries to paint me as something that this society views as negative. Even if I was a loner, what exactly is wrong with liking solitude? Ascetic life is the best foundation for success. The thing is the stereotypes about people like me that the society enforces have become so mean and widespread that people who might be like that too are basically forced to act according to the norms or are scared to be different and come out.

There are probably a lot more people that have attitudes like me or some similar attitudes that you don't like, but they're afraid to come up with it because even on the internet people are ganging up on them and try to bully them with some stupid memes or tell them to seek help. So then the few that do appear extra weird.

Personally I don't care about that, in fact I actually like it that so many people think that my lifestyle is somehow wrong. It just motivates me to improve myself in all areas of life and then flaunt my success in their faces. It awakes my competitive spirit completely. I know people don't like these sort of character traits but in reality every athlete that I look up to is pretty much like that.

I like this place here precisely because it's one of the rare places where people won't judge me (at least not most of them) and I feel good about it and about the people here.
I understand your position and accept your clarification. You explain yourself clearly. I also agree that you can say things in a forum like this that would be, uh...misunderstood, to put it mildly on social media. I wondered if there were others who maybe felt similarly but I don't want to create controversy or upset anyone. I was only mildly curious.
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  #38  
Old 17-Mar-17, 22:56
funwrestler funwrestler is offline
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Default Re: private or public

I will second brooksie's words on al89.
@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], congrats for expressing yourself so clearly without falling at all into animosity.

No issues talking about it with my girlfriends, but that's it.

Don't forget that people not into this fetish won't really understand you:
- most won't give a shit.
- others will be judgmental.
- some rare ones might get intrigued and interested.

I have already tried talking about it with friends in giving them hints about my gf being a pretty good wrestler but they never followed up on the topic. May be because they were not at ease with it, but most probably because they did not give a damn shit about it.
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  #39  
Old 18-Mar-17, 00:58
Jericho3 Jericho3 is offline
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Default Re: private or public

I'm private about it. I only share it with girls I think might be open to/good at it. And even then I may try to hide it. Sometimes when they know I like it, it somehow becomes "weird" But sometimes if there can be a good enough reason to wrestle like some sort of bet, or to settle an argument, those are great experiences. Unfortunately, it's not long before they notice that I'm REALLY into it. The only benefit I see in sharing it is to attempt to "coach" then into the hold I prefer.

Now there have been a couple bachelor parties with friends, where I've suggested getting the strippers to wrestle each other. It's never worked and I surmise some of my closer friends have figured it out from the amount of girls that have talked trash to me in front of them over the years. I'm sure they could probably surmise that hmmm a lot of girls are always telling J they could beat him in a wrestling match lol
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  #40  
Old 18-Mar-17, 11:22
al89 al89 is offline
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Default Re: private or public

I'd like to add that living alone and not having any close relationships like friends or girlfriend actually doesn't make you asocial or socially awkward at all. If anything it's the opposite, at least in my case. I became used to going everywhere alone and not having my group of friends around me and I was "forced" to start chatting with random people I met. When I used to go out with some friends we just ended up hanging out with each other or maybe sometimes we met some random people that one of the friends knew but that was about it, always the same people, always the same thing. But now that I go on all kinds of events that I want to see alone I just became so good at "breaking the ice" and starting conversation with people. It starts to come so natural to you. You can easily meet new people and go out with them few times and then find someone new again.

Also I became so confident about myself and everything that I do. When you have a lot of people in your life like close friends or girlfriends you inevitably start to think what they would think about the things that you do, especially if you share your private life with them too much. Even if they're supportive of you there's always some thing they'd find strange. If you erase those people out of your life you literally start thinking that the world revolves around you and that everything you do is right. It will make you feel great about mixed wrestling fetish too and not having any shame at all, trust me. I not only kicked out all friends of my life but deleted all my social media profiles and I started having so much time to not just do my work and train but also to just explore some crazy hobbies and meet some totally new people. I started to explore some random music genres, tried to cook some food I never tried before, played some new video games, took some dance classes, started learning a new language etc. I literally feel like being in some open world video game like GTA (without the crime aspect obviously lol) where I can just go out and do everything I want without feeling any shame or doubt about myself because nobody really knows me or cares about me.

That's why I personally find close relationships straining and meaningless because I've been on both sides and just find my current lifestyle so much more fun.
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