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  #11  
Old 30-Jul-16, 04:36
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blackice225 blackice225 is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

What is this, someone's Angela Anaconda fanfiction?

There's such a thing as subject pronouns and predicate pronouns.
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  #12  
Old 31-Jul-16, 00:45
Boze_Turk Boze_Turk is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackice225 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
What is this, someone's Angela Anaconda fanfiction?

There's such a thing as subject pronouns and predicate pronouns.
Do you like my story?
I've put quite an effort in it. It's pretty hard to think of a good continuation for part 7. Do you have any suggestions?
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  #13  
Old 01-Aug-16, 19:21
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Default Re: Family trolling

I love the story's Boze.I think there should be a match where sjaak finds out just how destructive Myrna's legs really are
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  #14  
Old 04-Aug-16, 06:29
Boze_Turk Boze_Turk is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

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Originally Posted by me21 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I love the story's Boze.I think there should be a match where sjaak finds out just how destructive Myrna's legs really are
From today (the fourth August) to the fourth of September, I will be on vacation in Moldavia, Transnistria (Pridnestrovia), Romania, Bulgaria, Serbia, Albania, Montenegro, Croatia and Bosnia, so there won't be a continuation for a month. The good news is, is that I will probably get a lot of inspiration on my vacation and write multiple parts when I come back, so stay tuned.

By the way, I like your idea.
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  #15  
Old 01-Feb-17, 09:36
Boze_Turk Boze_Turk is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

Part Семь. Strong legs!
This part is requested by me21.

As Sjaak van der Wolk was reading an interesting book about the kind of training the special forces needed to undergo, the door bell rang. He opened the door and saw Myrna Gors standing there, in a beautiful blue dress and a water melon in her delicate hands. Myrna, not being shy at all, stepped inside and Sjaak van der Wolk closed the door, being extremely curious about this unexpected visit. Then Myrna Gors said: „I came here to show you how destructive my legs really are in a match.“ She put the water melon between her legs and squeezed. The melon squashed not long after. Sjaak van der Wolk was in shock by the strength of her legs. He wasn’t expecting that to happen, as her legs didn’t really seem extraordinary strong or something. Myrna Gors let go of the water melon, took a towel from Sjaak’s couch to clean her strong legs and then finally said: „By the way: the water melon is yours to eat. It’s a gift.“

„Well, thanks, Myrna, that is very kind of you. I wasn’t expecting such a friendly gesture after all the negative energy that I felt from you“ Myrna Gors replied: „I know. Bye!“

As Myrna Gors left, Sjaak van der Wolk started to eat the water melon, because he loved water melons. Then it appeared that Myrna Gors had poisoned the water melon. Sjaak van der Wolk felt something really strange happening inside. Then he died.

The next day, Liesje Schipper called to ask why Sjaak van der Wolk wasn’t there as it was already 19:10. Sjaak van der Wolk didn’t take the phone because he was dead.


[The End]
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  #16  
Old 01-Feb-17, 16:57
Boze_Turk Boze_Turk is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

Part 7. Brother!

Having left Liesje Schipper’s house with quite a disappointment, Sjaak van der Wolk decided to continue on his research. Additionally, Sjaak van der Wolk was working on a drug that destroyed connections in the brain, the amount of destroyed connections being dependent on the dosis you took. What it did, was basically erasing your memory, but it also negatively affected the skills you learned yourself. That would mean that if you took an extremely large amount of it, you had to relearn walking and talking. Sjaak van der Wolk never tested his newly developed drug. He thought of a suitable name. Finally he came up with „amnetha“. „amnetha“ sounded like a good name, Sjaak thought.

Finally, he returned to the job of developing a cell whose only purpose it was to destroy all dysfunctional cells. As he was working on it, someone rang the bell. Sjaak van der Wolk stood up, ran out of his basement and ran upstairs to open the door. There, he saw an overly familiar face which filled his heart with joy. It was his older brother, Farrock van der Wolk. Standing 190 centimetres and being almost as strong as Sjaak van der Wolk, those two were visibly brothers. Their face also shared some kind of similarity, though it wasn’t an obvious one. „Привет, брат мой!“, Farrock said, emphasising the fact he came all the way down from the Crimean Republic to visit his brother. „You should really visit Russia sometimes, brother. I am living there for almost ten years now: BEST. DECISION. EVER! I wish we were born there!“

„I am glad to hear that you are having a great time“, Sjaak said. „But, still, I can’t move to Russia with you right now. I have some duties here“, Sjaak said.

„Yeah, the cancer curing, right? No problem. I can take settle that for you. Don’t worry.“, Farrock said while taking off his shoes and walking in into Sjaak’s living room. When he finally settled down on his sofa, Farrock continued: „But, another thing, brother. I heard you received a severe ass kicking by a young woman. Is that right?“

Sjaak: „Not really. Who told you that?“
Farrock: „Well, I heard a woman - Anna, Hannah or whatever she’s called made you kiss and even lick her footsoles. I was like: „My brother would never do that!“ So, did it happen or not? “

Sjaak: „Lihanna Gors and I had a pretty intense wrestling match, given her physical strength and rage. During the match...“
Farrock van der Wolk interrupted his brother with „Oh, fucking God, you actually did it! What the actual fuck? What happened to your dignity? It this your new tactic for getting laid or something? Because I tell you: it’s shit. It doesn’t work. Instead of showing extremely submissive signs, you should be showing them your dominance. Women like that. They’re women.“

Sjaak: „That wasn’t one of my goals. Besides, I eventually won the wrestling match.“

Farrock: „Oh, so you „won“, right?“
Sjaak: „That’s right.“
Farrock: „Bullshit. If she made you kiss and lick her feet, it mean that she won.“
Sjaak: „It was a distraction-tactic“.
Farrock: „Bullshit. You just got your ass kicked by a young lady and are now looking for excuses. It’s pathetic and you know it. Just admit that you are a wimp and then do something about it.“

Farrock’s tone started to irritate Sjaak. Farrock van der Wolk’s way of interrupting Sjaak van der Wolk, not listening to him and scolding him for something he knew so little about, Sjaak van der Wolk decided to counterattack.

„Well, brother, you seem like a tough guy. Why don’t you show Lihanna Gors who is the boss?“, Sjaak van der Wolk said, intending to provoke his brother. He knew his brother was vulnerable for that kind of stuff.

Farrock van der Wolk: „Well, first of all, you must fight your own enemies. Second, she is a lady. I am not fighting a lady! Instead of fighting ladies and eventually getting your arse kicked by them, which seems to be a hobby of yours, you should be fucking them.“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „Stop the excuses, brother. We both know you are just too scared to face her after hearing what she did to me.“

Farrock van der Wolk: „What the actual fuck are you talking about?“.
Sjaak van der Wolk: „I am saying that you are a coward, and that you are not a Russian.“

Farrock van der Wolk: „HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY NATIONALITY!!!“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „You might have a Russian citizenship, but you are not integrated at all. You are nothing like the actual Russians. Look at all the wars they fought. They storm enemy batallions with no weapons. They continue fighting when they just lost an arm. They throw their lives away if that means that they can save a comrade. They stay in burning tanks so they can remain killing hostile soldiers. Look at what Александр Прохоренко did.“

A little silence filled the room.

„And now compare all of that behaviour to a healthy 190 centimetres long 28-years-old fellow that is shitting his pants over a small lady 23 years years-old lady that he hasn’t even met.“

Farrock van der Wolk, being extremely angry, considered attacking his younger brother Sjaak van der Wolk, but then refrained himself of doing that. With a lot of hatred and contempt - with his teeth clenched together - he said: „Lihanna doesn’t scare me. I will show her not everybody in our family is as weak as you are.“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „They live at Jan Pieterszoonstraat 113. Big estate. Impossible to miss. Small village called Lutansk.“

Without saying a word, Farrock van der Wolk headed back to the corridor to take his shoes back on and then headed to Jan Pieterszoonstraat 113 in Lutansk. „Just how am I supposed to provoke a fight with her? I might as well impress her, if she’s hot.“, Farrock thought to himself, smiling, just like his younger brother always did: smiling at his own thoughts.

Farrock van der Wolk walked into his car, headed for the estate of the Gorses, parked his car nearby on the nearest parking place, since he felt uncomfortable parking his car into the terrain of complete strangers. He then walked up their front door and rang the bell. A thin blonde haired girl of average size answered the door. Farrock said: „Hi. I come for...“ - SHIT! WHAT IS HER NAME AGAIN? WHY DID I FORGET HER FUCKING NAME!?!?!? - „ well... I forgot her name. It’s so hard to remember, but she has blonde hair and is 23 years old.“

The girl answering the door is Romania Gors, a 14-year-old girl.

Romania: „Oh, do you mean my sister Lihanna? She is babysitting at the kindergarten Mali Medved“.

Farrock: „That’s a shame.“

Romania: „What kind of business do you have with her?“

Farrock: „None. I just want to fight her.“

Romania: „Uhmm... Excuse me? Fighting my sister? You better hope I misheard you. Besides, I have the impression that I know you from some place.“

Farrock: „I have never seen you before. I just want to test her physical power.“

Romania: „There are other ways to do that. And no, you really remind me of someone.“

Farrock: „Who?“

„That filthy stalker that thinks it’s always summer.“, Romania Gors said with a lot of contempt in her voice.

Farrock: „Hey, I know someone who never wears a jacket!“

Romania: „Who?“

„My little brother, Sjaak van der Wolk“, Farrock proudly said.

„Oh, so you are his brother! Well, then get lost and leave me alone!“, she said with a slightly raised voice. Just as Romaina Gors tried to close the door, Farrock van der Wolk put his shoe between the door, preventing Romania Gors from closing the door. „Don’t make such rash judgements. You shouldn’t hate me because of my relatives. I suppose my brother and you have a big history, but I have nothing to do with that. You don’t even know me!“

Romania Gors: „Well, you suddenly come at my door to fight my sister. What the hell is wrong with you?“

Farrock van der Wolk: „All right, I think we started off at the wrong foot. I didn’t mean a fight to the death. Just some wrestling or something. I heard how strong your sister is, and that makes me curious.“

Another girl walked up to the door, a brown haired girl with a big bruise on her forehead. She wasn’t completely sober, or so it seemed.

Myrna Gors: „Hey, what the hell is going on? Why are you bothering my little sis?“

Farrock van der Wolk: „I just came for Lihanna Gors“
„She isn’t home. Bye!“, Myrna Gors rudely said.

Just when Myrna wanted to close the door, Farrock said: „Wait! Where did you get that bruise from?“

Myrna Gors: „I was knocked out by a psychopath.“
Farrock van der Wolk: „Who did it?“
Myrna Gors: „None of your business. Bye!“

Then she threw the door shut.

„Well, that sucked...“, Farrock van der Wolk thought. He headed for his car, but just when he wanted to get in, he saw a beautiful, small, sturdy blonde haired woman in a lightbrown jacket walking up Jan Pieterszoonstraat 113. Farrock van der Wolk called her: „HEY!!! Are you...“ - FUCKING FUCK! I FORGOT THE NAME AGAIN!!! - „Myrna’s sister?“.

Lihanna Gors: „Uh... yeah?“

Farrock van der Wolk: „Good. I was looking for you all over the place. Wanna wrestle or something? I heard you’re strong. I like strong chicks.“

Lihanna Gors: „Get lost, creep“

Disappointed Farrock van der Wolk looked away while quietly saying to himself: „Ugh, my little bro got his arse kicked by such a cowardly girl. I can’t believe it... What has become of him?“

„Hey, what the fuck are you talking about?“, a voice behind suddenly said. Farrock looked up, and saw Lihanna Gors heading his way. Keeping silent, Farrock van der Wolk curiously watched Lihanna Gors approach him, until they stood head to head (almost head to head, since Farrock was much taller) and Lihanna Gors said: „Are you Sjaak’s brother?“

„Yeah, I am.“

„Then never come close to our estate again. I am warning you; the next time I see you, you are done with.“

After that, Lihanna Gors walked away. Farrock van der Wolk was a little confused at this statement, but finally decided to step into his car and head back to his little brother Sjaak van der Wolk.

„So, did you kick her arse?“

„Not really. The Gorses immediately started hating me when they found out that I was your brother. They didn’t want to fight. They just sent me away, asking for me to never come back.“

Sjaak: „That’s disappointing. Unfortunately, some sad things have happened after wrestling those two girls. Myrna Gors is now scared to death of me. Lihanna Gors also seems scared, but she tries to hide it to appear tough. Still, I can see what kind of psychological impact my presence has on her. That’s why they prefer not to fight you.“

Sjaak: „But... I have the perfect solution for that. Follow me.“

Sjaak van der Wolk walked into his basement, followed by his older brother Farrock van der Wolk. To say that Farrock van der Wolk was surprised at what he saw would be an understatement. Farrock van der Wolk was totally speechless. He never expected something like it. A blackboard full of formules and calculations he didn’t understand, multiple computers constantly running, microscopes, books, notebooks, drawings, bottles with stickers on them etcetera. Sjaak van der Wolk finally said: „I have been working on multiple projects the last few months. I work at home, working for a biological institute that tries to find a cell whose only purpose it is to destroy all dysfunctional cells in the human body. Beside that, I have a little private project; a drug that is supposed to erase your memory. What it does, it destroying a lot of connections in your brain that make up your memories and skills you learned, like arithmetics, reading, walking etcetera. The most recent brain connections are mostly the weakest, so taking what I call ‚amnetha‚ will remove the most recent memories first, or at least the weakest ones.“

Farrock van der Wolk said: „No way it can do that! That just isn’t possible.“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „You seem to be sure of yourself. Do you want to try?“

Farrock van der Wolk: „Hell no! But I can tell you: erasing someone’s memory with a drug is impossible. Have you ever tested it on someone?“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „No, I haven’t. That’s what I want to use Myrna Gors for. I want her to take amnetha and see what it does to her. Will it erase some of her memories, or will it do nothing?“

Farrock van der Wolk: „Hey, that’s illegal. You can go to prison for that!“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „I think I will be all right. But, there is a downside of amnetha, and that is: it might be fatal. I don’t know how deadly it is. Maybe it’s safe in that sense, but it can also be plain poison, in which case I am better off not giving up this to anybody, but I can’t be sure until I try.“

Farrock van der Wolk: „Scientists use animals for that, although there has been a lot of discussion about it lately, since a lot of people consider that to be unethical.“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „Exactly! That’s why I want to use the Gorses as my geany-pig, but I am still worried about what might happen if it DOES appear to be fatal. I will be a murderer, then, but my curiosity is just too strong to resist my ethical side“.

Farrock van der Wolk: „You are not the only one. A lot of scientists are suffering from that.“

The rest of the day was spent by Farrock and Sjaak talking about their past, about the United States of America, about Russia, Serbia, Syria, the death of Fidel Castro, the American presidential election, about hacking, chemistry, social and biological experiments etcetera. They also played chess: five games, from which Sjaak won three. One was won by Farrock. One game ended in a draw. Finally, Farrock left, as he was on a trip though many places.

Sjaak van der Wolk was glad that he had such a good time with his brother, but was on the other hand displeased with the fact what he had done to the Gorses. He wanted to help them with amnetha, but he also didn’t want to risk killing them with it. An untested drug with yet unknown side effects... Sjaak van der Wolk really needed to find someone to test it on, but who?


[To be continued...]

Edit: part Семь was just a joke. You can ignore it, since it is NOT part of the story. I just couldn't resist the temptation to write and publish that. :-D
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  #17  
Old 02-Feb-17, 08:23
james james is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

Erm, this seems like a story, rather than a story that relates to this Forum...
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  #18  
Old 02-Feb-17, 11:56
Boze_Turk Boze_Turk is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

Quote:
Originally Posted by james [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Erm, this seems like a story, rather than a story that relates to this Forum...
If you had read the whole story, you could have seen that there are multiple parts containing mixed wrestling and mixed fights. In the parts that are about to be written and published, there will also be mixed wrestling and mixed fighting.

In other words: my story perfectly suits this forum.

Added after 24 minutes:

Part 6,5. Obscure plan

The next day arrived. Sjaak van der Wolk was excited about 7 p.m. „This is going to be awesome!“ Beforehand, he tried to find Lutansk, Slugaweg 151 on both Google Earth and Google Maps. He didn’t get the exact location; only an approximation. „Well, whatever, it will do“, Sjaak van der Wolk thought. Liesje Schipper’s house was 11 kilometres away, so that would take half an hour bicycling, but Sjaak van der Wolk didn’t know exactly where he had to be and all kind of stuff could happen on the way, so he decided to leave at 6:10 p.m. Being all happy, he sang „Do what you want, cause a pirate is free. You are a pirate“. It wasn’t dark yet, so there was no need to turn on the lights on his bicycle. Sjaak van der Wolk entered Lutansk at 6:32 p.m., but he couldn’t find Slugaweg. After having bicycled around for ten minutes, he decided to ask a lady where it was. She, apparently a high school student, explained where Sjaak van der Wolk had to be. Sjaak van der Wolk thanked the lady and bicycled to Slugaweg. After looking around, he finally found 151. It appeared to be an ordinary house. Sjaak van der Wolk rang the bell.

When the door opened, a beautiful sight met his eyes. He saw Liesje Schipper, standing there in a blue dress, sexy legs, nice looking arms, long orange hair and a beautiful smile on her face. She said: „Hi, Sjaak, you are 17 minutes early.“, „Oh... uhhmm... yeahhh, I didn’t want to be late, so I took off a little bit early in case something would happen on the way, or in case I couldn’t find the address.“ Liesje Schipper just smiled and then said: „Well, nevermind, I also started my preparations early. Get in.“ Sjaak van der Wolk took off his shoes and walked in. Then he saw that her house was much more spacious than it appeared on the outside. Walking into the living room, Liesje Schipper said: „Do you want some tea, Sjaak?“, after which Sjaak said: „Yeah, fine, you have peppermint?“. „No, but I have English black tea, strawberry tea and lemon tea, if you want“. „I want lemon tea“. „OK!“

Sjaak van der Wolk then said to Liesje Schipper: „I don’t actually see a reason to postpone what I came for, so I suppose we start our thing now, shall we?“, with a broad smile on his face. „Actually, Sjaak, I wanted to wait till our next guest arrives.“, Liesje Schipper said. „Another guest!? I thought we had a private meeting!“, Sjaak van der Wolk bewildered said. „Calm down, Sjaak, I planned this all along. This is going to be fun.“, „You’d better hope this is going to be fun. Who did you invite beside me?“. Liesje Schipper answered with: „Your former boss, Mr Billenuitdenbroek.“
Sjaak van der Wolk: „Is this some kind of joke?“.
Liesje Schipper: „I am deadly serious, Sjaak. He wants to discuss some things with you, but was too afraid to make an appointment with you, so he used me for it.“
Sjaak: „What was he afraid of?“.
Liesje: „In case Myrna Gors would find out.“
Sjaak: „Wat een bangeschijterd...“
Liesje: „What did you say?“
Sjaak: „Oh, ehh, nothing. I just want to leave, since I am pretty disappointed in you for lying to me.“
Almost begging, Liesje Schipper said: „Sjaak, this isn’t something we’ve planned for the fun of it. We really need your help.“ Sjaak answered with: „I wasn’t prepared for this shit. I’m out of here.“ As Sjaak walked to the corridor to put his choose back on, he saw something appearing behind the front door, after which the bell rang. Liesje Schipper quickly walked up to the door to open it. There, Willem Billenuitdenbroek was standing, in casual clothes. He saw Sjaak van der Wolk and almost enthusiastically said: „Ah, Sjaak, I am glad you are already here!“
Sjaak: „I was actually about to leave“
Willem: „No, please, stay! This gathering is made especially to have you present, as we are dealing with a problem that keeps hunting us ever since you are gone. Without you, I came for nothing.“
Sjaak: „Can you imagine how I feel right now? I came for a private meeting with Liesje, a date - you could say - and all I get is this bullcrap from my former working place.“
Willem: „Now, calm down. I know you this is an unpleasant surprise, but just hear us out before you decide to leave.“
Sjaak: „Let me guess: after my resignation, the whole project is set up to fail, so you want me back, but are too afraid that Myrna Gors will find out and will kick your arse again, together with publishing the pictures she made.“
Willem: „That... is deadly accurate, but we have an additional problem.“
Liesje: „Can we discuss this in the living room?“

Sjaak van der Wolk took off his shoes once again, after which Willem Billenuitdenbroek did the same. They followed Liesje Schipper into the living room and seated themselves on a couch. As they sat there, Willem Billenuitdenbroek began: „So, since I fired you, the project has pretty much stood still. In the meanwhile, Myrna Gors and her sister Lihanna Gors have visited our institute, violently trying to force us to develop something that can cure their mother, who appears to have cancer.“
Sjaak: „I did hear rumours about their mother having a bad health. On what places of her body does she have cancer?“.
Willem: „Myna and Lihanna refuse to tell, probably being too afraid of what we might say back, like „That is uncurable right now. Your mother will die“. At least, that is my conjecture.“
Sjaak: „So, what do you want me to do? Go and have a talk with the Gorses about their behaviour? Sending them an angry letter? Peeing through their front door letterbox again?“
Liesje: „What do you mean „again“ ?“

A silence fell as Sjaak van der Wolk was getting a broad smile on his face that he coudln’t repress, after which Liesje Schipper with a disgusted look on her eyes said: „You know: I don’t even want to know the details. Just continue.“

Willem: „Anyways, we can’t quickly make a medicine against cancer on request before someone dies of it. I mean, it would be great if we could, but that’s an utopia. Unfortunately, those dumb-fucks don’t understand it. Meanwhile, they are impeding our other progresses, which might be life-saving.“.
Sjaak: „So, wat do you propose?“
Willem: „I say... We get rid off those two.“
Sjaak: „How?“
Willem: „We take them out“.
Sjaak: „What do you mean? How are you going to take them out?“
Willem: „By ending their lives.“

A silence fell in the living room. Willem Billenuitdenbroek felt unsure of what he said. Liesje Schipper was shocked by what she heard, but Sjaak van der Wolk seemed to be amused, given the fact that he started laughing. Then Sjaak started talking: „Let me explain you an experience of mine before we continue on this matter.“

********* 10 years ago *********

„Fucking shit, I am going to kill this bitch if she ignores me again“, Sjaak van der Wolk silently said while sitting on this bed and looking at the ground. The thought of the little blonde haired girl, Kayleigh van Korten, ignoring him whatever he tried to say to her or ask her, made him angrier by the second. Why was she even doing this? Why did she hate Sjaak, but love everyone else in the school?

Sjaak van der Wolk looked at the Internet at Kayleigh’s schedule. One of her classmates put his schedule on the Internet, so the classmate’s schedule was Kayleigh’s schedule as well. Sjaak van der Wolk looked at it, thinking: „Hmm, at Thurday she is off at 15:00 in C114, while I am off at 14:10, so if I wait 50 minutes for her, I should be able to catch her at Langhuisstraat, because she always takes that road while heading home.“ Then Sjaak thought: „Shit, I am not going to put that much effort in this bitch. I’d better find out where she lives.“

After that, he opened the telephone book, since it also contained addresses. There was one thing he knew: Kayleigh lived in Verenhuizen, so he searched for the last name „Van Korten“ in Verenhuizen. He found 16 addresses and telephone numbers, after which Sjaak thought: „Fuck that, I am not going to dial all 16 numbers to find out which is the right one!“

But, one last glance at Kayleigh’s schedule made Sjaak smile a little. He noticed they had a free hour in common at Tuesday. „Tuesday it will be“. Sjaak van der Wolk thought.

Tuesday arrived. Sjaak van der Wolk thought: „Kayleigh must be in the big assembly hall, since that is her favourite place for leisure when she is at school.“ Entering the big assembly hall of the school, Sjaak saw the group of people Kayleigh always hang out with, but not Kayleigh. There was a guy in the big entrance hall that said „Hey, Sjaak!“, so they had a talk with each other. When they finished talking, Sjaak noticed that Kayleigh van Korten had returned. He stepped to her to ask her a question, but before Sjaak asked his question, he first wanted to get her attention. Kayleigh didn’t even look away from her cellphone and continued typing on her cellphone. „Hey, Kayleigh“, Sjaak said. „Kayleigh“, „Kayleigh, I want to tell you something. Look at me.“, „Kayleihg, can I have your attention?“.

None of that worked, but the friends surrounding Kayleigh at the table got irritated and said: „Could you leave her alone?“ and „She clearly doesn’t want to talk to you now.“ Sjaak van der Wolk was getting irritated: „Being ignored once again...“. Then Sjaak grabbed Kayleigh’s cellphone out of her hand and looked at it. Kayleigh immediately responded: „Hey, give it back!“ Sjaak van der Wolk didn’t respond. Kayleigh said: „Sjaak, give my cellphone back!“ Sjaak van der Wolk again didn’t respond. He just looked at her cellphone screen. He looked at her contact list and decided to text her boyfriend with: „we need to talk. I less and less enjoy your presence“. „WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?“ Kayleigh screamed when she saw Sjaak van der Wolk doing something on her cellphone. She didn’t know what he did, but it couldn’t be good, so she stood up, ran at Sjaak and tried to grab her phone back, but Sjaak kept her away from taking her cellphone back. Sjaak van der Wolk said: „Can I ask you something, Kayleigh?“. „GIVE MY FUCKING PHONE BACK!!!“ Kayleigh van Korten started screaming in tears. Sjaak van der Wolk said: „I will give your phone back as soon as you answer my question“. Kayleigh just tried to take her cellphone back, again. Sjaak van der Wolk then just decided to walk away, still holding her cellphone in his hand. „It has emotional value for her. Her deceased grandmother gave it to her days before she died.“, a friend of Kayleigh van Korten said to Sjaak van der Wolk. Sjaak van der Wolk stopped walking, turned around and said with a smile: „That’s all the more reason for her to answer my question, isn’t it?“. „Please, Sjaak, please, just give it back“, Kayleigh van Korten pleaded. Sjaak van der Wolk ignored it, thinking: „She keeps ignoring the fact that she will only get her cellphone back if she answers my question... Stupid bitch!“ Sjaak van der Wolk then held her phone, as if to break it, making Kayleigh van Korten screaming with tears. Looking at her, he gave an evil smile, when suddenly her phone made a sound. Sjaak looked at it, seeing that her boyfriend had replied: „what’s wrong, kitty?“ with a worried looking smiley. Sjaak then wrote back on her phone: „you smell and you’re inconsiderate of my feelings“. Kayleigh van Korten kept being worried, pleading Sjaak to give her phone back. Her friends also tried to intervene. Pamm Housewife even pushed him, causing Sjaak to push her back. Sjaak van der Wolk once again walked away with her phone. He had walked quite a bit, being followed by Kayleigh van Korten, Pamm Houswife and her friends, until Sjaak a teacher appeared, making Sjaak threw the phone into a trash can, making Kayleigh van Korten fanatically trying to fish her phone out of it.

Sjaak van der Wolk received a lot of angry comments, like: „Why the hell would you do that?“, „You sick fuck“, „You should be ashamed of yourself“, „Why would you do that to such a nice girl?“, „How heartless are you: continuing the bullying after hearing after which kind of emotional attachment she has to her cellphone!“ etcetera. Sjaak van der Wolk didn’t even bother to respond. He disgruntly looked at the ground. Something inside him was stirring up aggression inside him, but he couldn’t actually go and beat her up, since that would get him kicked out of school, so he had to do it outside of school, someday.

That day, Sjaak van der Wolk was walking outside in the small forest near Verenhuizen, hoping dat Kayleigh van Korten would also pass that park, though he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know exactly where she lived. There was a 60% chance that she would pass this forest. Walking around, he saw an old man. He didn’t know this man at all; first time he ever saw him, but somehow he still had the impression that he knew him from somewhere. Something felt very familiar. Sometimes you have those moments that the two of you get friends before having actually said a word to each other. Anyways, Sjaak van der Wolk greeted him. He greeted back with a Slavic accent, making Sjaak van der Wolk curious. Sjaak asked the old man what country he came from, which he replied to with: „Yugoslavia“. A conversation between those two stirred up, after which the man said: „I know the look in your eyes. You are up to something bad due to desperation. I have been there, my friend. Let me tell you something. In my country, there were all wars. I was strong, but I killed people. Now I see them every night before my eyes when I want to go to sleep. That is really fucked up, so here is my advice to you: never kill someone and never do something in your life that you will regret later. It’s going to haunt you. You are destroying your life and your next lives by doing what I did, so please don’t repeat my mistake.“

„But, sir, you were living in a war. Such acts are unevitable when there is a war going on“, Sjaak said, to which the man replied: „Oh, it was a dirty war. Firing missiles at civilians, the destruction of historical heritage, religious prosecution, abandoning soldiers that could have been saved, foreign interference etcetera. I better not think too much of it. It makes me sick to my stomach.“

Sjaak van der Wolk and the old man finally parted ways. A light satisfaction eased his feelings and made him smile again. Stepping on his bicycle to bicycle home, he saw Kayleigh van Korten walking. Greeting her with a smile, he drove home.

In the end, being patient paid off, since Kayleigh van Korten started greeting Sjaak van der Wolk again, in a month time.

Sjaak van der Wolk never saw the old man again. He might have died, or he moved, or he something else happened. He didn’t know, but whatever was the case: the old man’s advice will stay for the rest of Sjaak’s life.

********* End of flashback *********

„And that’s why, my friends, we shouldn’t be doing this“, Sjaak said.

„I am not going to change plans because of the advice of a Yugoslavic senile old fool“, Willem angrily exclaimed.

“Why don’t we learn from his mistakes? He did the same thing you are planning to do to two people, and he suffered a lot from it. Why don’t we use his experience as a lesson?“, Sjaak said.

„Because“, Willem tiredly said, „his experience isn’t and won’t be mine. I have no problem with killing people if it means saving other people’s life. If killing Myrna Gors and Lihanna Gors means saving millions of lifes, I will gladly do it.“

„Well, if you put it that way, I can’t disagree with you, but that sounds like a last resort. There are lots of other methods we can use to get rid of those two without killing them“, Sjaak said.

„Like what?“, Liesje Schepper asked. Sjaak van der Wolk smiled at her and replied: „Just let me handle it. There are 1001 ways to solve this problem, and I am not resorting to Clinton-methods to achieve my goals“, Sjaak firmly said.

„By the way“, Sjaak van der Wolk said with a broad smile while looking out of the window, „your plan wouldn’t work, even if you tried“. „Why is that?“, Willem Billenuitdenbroek asked. „Because“ - Sjaak looked at Willem - „look at Fidel Castro. The American government has tried to assassinate him hundreds of times, and none of those attempts were succesfull. Fidel Castro died just on the 25th November 2016 a natural death, having reached the 90. You know why that is, boss?“. Willem Billenuitdenbroek stared at Sjaak, dumbfounded, after which Sjaak said: „It’s because some people can’t be killed, not matter how hard you try. Some people are protected. And I am not talking about protection like having guards, but I am talking about divine protection. When the universe doesn’t want someone to die, it’s not going to happen. When you want to take an aeroplane that is going to crash and you are under divine protection, you will encounter lots of shits on the way that eventually prevents you from taking that aeroplane. Myrna Gors is under the same kind of protection, so she can’t be killed.“

„How the fuck do you know this?“, Willem bewilderedly said.

„I once found out about this a year ago, when I met her while she was taking her dog out and talking to her boyfriend. I hate you to give the details of what exactly happened, but she is someone you can’t kill. I don’t know about her older sister, but killing Myrna is an impossible task.“

Sjaak van der Wolk was about to leave, when he finally said: „And if you still are going to try, I will interfere. The Gorses are under my protection also.“

Sjaak van der Wolk took on his shoes and left Liesje Schipper’s house, thinking to himself: „I should do something...“ When Willem Billenuitdenbroek also left Liesje Schippers’ house, an hour later, he met Romania Gors - the fourteen years old younger sister of Myrna Gors. She said: „Willem, what were you doing with Sjaak in that house?“. Willem Billenuitdenbroek froze of fear. Now he was really in trouble, if Myrna Gors found out about this...


[To be continued...]

Last edited by Boze_Turk; 02-Feb-17 at 11:56.
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Old 03-Feb-17, 10:57
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Default Re: Family trolling

Part 8. Assassination.

„Okay, Polnui Douraque, this is her“, Willem Billenuitdenbroek said to the sharp shooter Polnui Douraque while holding a photograph of Myrna Gors. They were in an unused room of the biological institute. Polnui Douraque carefully looked at the photograph and finally said: „There is something with the way she looks... She must be from Yugoslavia.“

„Well, yes, she is“, Willem Billenuitdenbroek said, „and that’s person we want to get rid off. She often comes here on Monday and she comes by train, so make sure you keep an eye on that area. You can shoot without warning.“

Polnui Douraque: „Seems like a piece of cake. And I get three grand if the operation is successful?“

Willem Billenuitdenbroek: „Yes, but make sure you don’t kill any innocent people. As an extra recognition sign: Myrna Gors is always looking angry. If a girl is laughing, it means it’s not her“.

Polnui Douraque: „And if she doesn’t come the whole day?“
Willem Billenuitdenbroek: „Then I will pay you 100 dollars.“

Polnui Douraque was a 183 centimetres long, bald guy who used a nickname to hide his real name. He arrived at 6:00 AM with his rifle and stepped into an yet to be destroyed house, hiding in a haystack and constantly aiming at the train station on the platform Myrna Gors could possible step out. Being alert pretty much the whole day, Polnui Douraque didn’t see any woman matching the photograph or Willem Billenuitdenbroek’s description. At 18:11, Polnui Douraque fell asleep. Then he woke up with a shock as he heard Willem Billenuitdenbroek talk:

„So far, Myrna Gors has only come at a Monday, and once at a Wednesday. Anyways, I will give you a call if I see her at any other day. I am only hiring you at a Monday, since that is the biggest chance we have to encounter this walking demon.“

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdag, Friday, Saturday and Sunday passed without any of the Gorses coming. Next Monday, Polnui Dourque was asked to come once again. The process of hiding himself into a haystack constantly keeping an eye on all the trains that passed platforn 2 repeated itself. It was extremely boring, but Polnui Douraque kept telling himself: „Today will be my lucky day!“, but he started to lose hope as 17:48 passed and he still hadn’t seen a sign of Myrna Gors, or any other Gors. Polnui Douraque hoped to earn three thousand dollars this time, but all he got was hundred bucks.

As the next Monday arrived, Polnui Douraque was hired for the third time and for the third time hid himself in the haystack. At one moment, he saw a woman matching the photographs, but then quickly realised he was hallucinating. Blurs kept coming back into view, partially blocking his view. But, despite of having this problem, Polnui Douraque hadn’t seen the girl he was hoping to see. His rifle was getting lonely.

Back at the office, Willem Billenuitdenbroek said: „This is getting on my nerves. Why doesn’t that vicious woman visit me any more? She kept coming and coming, beating me up, threatening us and delaying most of our projects. Now I finally want her to come, she doesn’t!“

„You know, Polnui Douraque, I want you to keep an eye on their home. They live in a small village called Lutansk, Jan Pieterszoonstraat 113. It’s a big estate, hard to pass by without noticing.“

Polnui Douraque said: „Oh, but that’s even riskier. It you want me to do that, I want five thousand dollars, and 250 dollars per day that passed by without anything happening.“

Willem Billenuitdenbroek begrudgingly looked at Polnui Douraque and said: „200 should be enough. It isn’t that hard.“
„225 dollars is as far a I am willing to compromise.“
„Fine then.“

Polnui Douraque went at Lutansk and looked up a place where he could hide with an appropriate view on the garden of the Gorses. Strangely enough, the house seemed abandoned. No car, no movement, no taking care of the garden and nothing to be seen inside the house: no furniture, no people, no pets. Nothing. It was pretty strange for Polnui Douraque, but nevertheless he kept doing what he was paid for. As five days passed, nothing had happened. Finally, Polnui Douraque decided to walk up the terrain without his rifle, looking inside every windows, and saw absolutely nothing, not even a lamp! The whole house was abandoned.

Finally, Polnui Douraque walked up at his boss, angrily saying: „That house is abandoned. Nobody came in or out in five days, not even a dog. Their garden is now growing full of pests without anybody doing anything about it. No car. No furniture inside, not even lamps. I was guarding a fucking haunted house!“

„It’s must be that Sjaak’s doing. He said he would interfere with our plans, and I suspect him of doing exactly that.“

As Willem Billenuitdenbroek entered Sjaak’s phone number into his phone and called up Sjaak van der Wolk, but without any response. Willem Billenuitdenbroek called Sjaak van der Wolk three times in a row, but without any response. Willem Billenuitdenbroek finally said: „He probably isn’t home now.“

Later that day, Willem Billenuitdenbroek tried again, without success. The next day and the day after that, Willem Billenuitdenbroek tried calling dozens of time without response. „He might be intentionally not taking the phone because he knows I am the one who is calling“, after which Willem Billenuitdenbroek decided to personally visit Sjaak van der Wolk. Two trains crashed that day, immobilising the train traffic. A lot of ways were also blocked due to a police pursuit that totally got out of hand. Sjaak’s house was as good as unreachable that day, but Willem Billenuitdenbroek decided not to give up and stpeped onto his bicycle to reach Sjaak van der Wolk’s house. Taking multiple breaks and finally reaching his house after almost three ours, Willem Billenuitdenbroek was so drained out of energy that he felt that he could fall right now, right here on the grass and fall asleep. But, he finally made it to Sjaak van der Wolk’s house. As he walked up to his house and rang the bell, an Asian beautiful lady opened the door and cheerfully greeted him: „Hi! What can I do for you?“. Still being worn out by the great distance he had to bicycle, Willem Billenuitdenbroek said: „Does Sjaak van der Wolk live here?“.

Asian woman: „Who?“
Willem Billenuitdenbroek just took his agenda out of bag and showed a page from a few months back where the whole name was written.
Asian: „Sdjaak wan der Uolk?“
Willem: „It’s a Dutch name. You pronounce it as Shaak fan der Volk, but you write it as Sjaak van der Wolk“.
Asian: „Oooh, Dutch. I love Dutch. My daughter works in a restaurant in Amsterdam. Remarkable city. They have prostitutes and people smoking marihuana, and it’s completely legal. Can you believe it?“.
Willem: „I doubt whether that is something to be proud of as a country, but anyways, have you seen him?“
Asian woman: „Yes, it’s the former owner of this house. We just moved in.“
Willem: „Yeah... I thought that... but do you know where he is now?“
Asian woman: „He said he was moving because of work“.
Willem: „Yeah, to which city or state?“
Asian woman: „He was talking about another country“.
Willem: „What country?“
Asian woman: „It had a very hard to pronounce name. Something with -ovia. Pridstovia, Nestovia. I don’t know. Something like that.“
Willem: „Have you seen its national flag?“
Asian woman: „Red, green, red“.
Willem: „Vertical or horizontal?“
Asian woman: „Horizontal“
Asian woman: „Oh, and it has a symbol of communism on it.“
Willem: „It seems to me like a small country somewhere in Southeast Asia. Well, anyway, thanks for the information.“

Willem Billenuitdenbroek stepped on his bicycle and had to bicycle back while being completely worn out by just the trip to Sjaak van der Wolk’s former house. „Shit! How did Sjaak manage to do this daily?“

When Willem finally came home after four hours of bicycling, the first thing he did was going to sleep with all of his clothing on and without brushing his teeth. He didn’t care. He just wanted to sleep, so sleep he did.

When Willem Billenuitdenbroek woke up, he stared at his ceiling for a long time, thinking: „My former employee and the Gorses gone at the same time, and I have no clue where the Gorses could be. This can’t be coincidence. That bastard be responsible for all this.“

Next day at work, Willem Billenuitdenbroek rang the director of the biological institute of Warkmieringdorp, where Sjaak van der Wolk was supposed to be working, only to hear that Sjaak van der Wolk left office and went to live in Moldavia. Willem Billenuitdenbroek was surprised by hearing Moldavia, because the Chinese woman was talking about completely different. Even the flags didn’t match, because the national flag is Moldavia is NOT red, green, red with a socialist sign. Willen Billenuitdenbroek was confused at the conflicting information he received, but eventually decided to give up. He thought: „Well, Sjaak is gone, but so are the Gorses. We can continue our research without any trouble!“

Missing Sjaak van der Wolk was of course a huge set back, but not completely. It turned out that Sjaak van der Wolk had shared all of his findings concerning the development of the cell whose purpose it is to destroy all dysfunctional cells in the human body to the institute of Warkmieringdorp, without Willem Billenuitdenbroek knowing about it. This of course got him mad and resulted in some angry phone calls, but finally he calmed down. It seemed that he was the only one unaware of this, as Liesje Schipper was already working with Sjaak’s information. Willem Billenuitdenbroek was so busy with trying to assassinate a girl and spent so much of his money that he completely forgot to manage his institute.

Being ‚enlightened’, Willem Billenuitdenbroek started to focus completely on his institutes’ projects. Everything seemed to be going well. Soon, he and his employees would make the world a better and healthier place. Everything finally seemed to be heading in the right direction, until of course, he would again be contacted by that girl...


[To be continued...]
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Old 04-Feb-17, 11:56
Boze_Turk Boze_Turk is offline
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Default Re: Family trolling

Part 7,5. What actually happened...

Sjaak van der Wolk walked up his mailbox to find a registered letter by Myrna Gors. To Sjaak’s astonishment, he saw that he was getting sued by Myrna Gors for assault and stalking.

„What the hell?“, Sjaak van der Wolk thought. Finally, Sjaak van der Wolk decided to strike back. He decided to do some research into Myrna Gors herself. He dialed up his friend Alewijn Smelost and talked about the fact that he was being sued by Myrna Gors. Alewijn Smelost said at the phone: „You know, Myrna Gors was flooding us with reports of you stalking her since she saw you near hear estate, and finally she reported you for knocking her out with a punch. I have constantly defended you and prevented the shit from hitting the fan. It worked, and it seemed like you were safe, but now she bypasses the police and contacted the judge herself. Now it’s up to the judge to decide. I have to say: you are pretty safe concerning the stalking story, since you are just visiting your favourite park in Lutansk and by that passing her estate, which is inevitable, but concering the assault part, you actually have a risk of getting prosecuted“.

Sjaak van der Wolk: „I disagree. I hit her back after she kicked me in the face. It was self-defence.“

Alewijn Smelost: „I know, but you haven’t reported any of that. She, on the other hand, did report what you did, so if you come up with your story - which I believe is true - and she denies kicking you in the face and show the bruise on her forehead caused by your punch, there is a big chance of you being prosecuted.“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „I hate that feminised court system. There should be a law that says women aren’t allowed to bring reports to the police nor sueing people.“

Alewijn Smelost: „We are not living in an Islamic country where that would be the case. Women actually have rights here.“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „Well, thanks for the information, but I was actually looking for some genius hacker who can retrieve some of Myrna’s personal files so I can check whether everything is OK or not. If not, I can attack her on that.“

Alewijn Smelost: „That’s illegal, Sjaak, but I will pretend that I didn’t hear you. You can contact Richell Builderlake from Flanders, but you didn’t hear that from me.“

Sjaak van der Wolk: „All right, bye“.

„Hmm... Richell Builderlake. Let’s see what I can find. Oh, there!“

Sjaak van der Wolk sent Richell Builderlake an e-mail with a shitload of explanation, and finally the request if he could do some hacking. Richell Builderlake happily agreed and manage to retrieve 187 document in just a few hours. Sjaak van der Wolk worked them all off, just to find out that the family Gors never received permission to stay in the United States of America. Their actual last name was Gović and all of their documents are falsified. Looking at their real documents: they didn’t have them. They are - so to say - undocumented. The father of the Gović-family, the only person Sjaak van der Wolk was on good terms with, appeared to have fought in the Ustaša during the Yugoslavian Civil War. Their families had become refugees, but were still denied access in the United States of America, after which they decided to enter illegally.

When Sjaak van der Wolk reported all of his finding to America’s immigration centre, the lawsuit was being dismissed. The family Gović got kicked out of the United States of America and had to head to Croatia. They had one week to pack their stuff and leave.

The family Gović didn’t know who reported them, but they had their conjectures. They all suspected Sjaak van der Wolk.

Sjaak van der Wolk had kind of mixed feelings about all of this. He didn’t like this family and certainly didn’t like their attitude when he passed their estate on his way to the central park of Lutansk, but on the other hand: trolling them was fun, and the wrestling was also fun. He would actually like to see Myrna Gović develop her already OK-looking body a little further so she obtained the strength she needed to give Sjaak van der Wolk a challenge. Sjaak van der Wolk was one of those men who liked strong women.

It wasn’t long after the Gović family left that Sjaak van der Wolk received an invitation from the Russian Federation to work in a Russian institute, where he could continue working on the development of the cell whose only purpose it was to destroy all dysfunctional cells in the human body. It was approximately a week after the Gorses left. At first, Sjaak van der Wolk was extremely surprised to see this letter, but then he remembered how his brother told him that he was going to arrange a job for his little brother. It seems like he kept to his word. Sjaak van der Wolk had heard the stories of beautiful Russian women, Russian Kvass, Russian bears blocking the road on Siberian ways and the craziness of Russian drivers. It was pretty appealing for him.

As Sjaak van der Wolk accepted the invitation, he was offered to work in Pridnestrovia instead: a small stroke of land in Moldavia, self-proclaimed independent, but in fact not recognised by any country in the world. They still had a Russian speaking population, Russian Kvass and the sexy women, so Sjaak van der Wolk accepted and went to work in the Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic.

Just being there for a week, Sjaak van der Wolk thought to himself: „This is a wonderful place. I should have moved here a long time before; right after I finished my образование биотехники. Hehehehe. I love the language!“

Sjaak van der Wolk used all of his vacations to visit Crimea, Russia’s Far East, Yugoslavia, Tibet, Cuba, Thailand etcetera.

Yugoslavia was next on the list, but Sjaak van der Wolk didn’t realise who he might meet there.


[To be continued...]
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