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Stop saying Sjaak van der Wolk EVERY FUCKING TIME that you see the chance... you could just say sjaak, he, or anything.. and it will make the reading a lot less irritating
Other than that, nice.story, keep it going xD
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Thanks for your feedback, Soulheroes. It's just from my experience from reading other stories that the names are replaced by "he" and "she" so often, that I forget about who the storyteller is talking, so then I have to read a lot of paragraphs back to find out who they were. I consider that to be irritating, so I chose not to make that mistake myself and to be very clear who I am talking about. I also don't like stories where everyone is introduced simultaneously, because that is also confusing. I introduce everyone at a slow pace to make them used to the readers.
I will try not to mention the character so often by their full name to make the story more pleasant to read.
By the way, I have written part 4½ before having seen your comment, but part 6 is yet to be written, so I will keep this in mind for the coming parts after part 4½.
