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  #11  
Old 30-Aug-19, 03:31
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Default Re: Tyler vs Leah: The Hardest Lesson (Maledom)

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Originally Posted by FootPower [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
It's interesting you say that. I did give strong consideration to adding a big finishing move after Tyler had satiated his 'other' needs. The only reason I eventually decided against it and finished on just a simple kick was the feeling I mentioned earlier, that I was perhaps over-writing the story. I honestly think that if I had tried to write just one more move, it could very easily have led into another three or four pages of punishment from Tyler!
Yeah, I can see how it could have easily become an interminable situation. I totally respect your choice and I think at the end of a fight like that, he could have pushed her over with his finger and still knocked her unconscious.

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Out of writer's curiosity, what sort of 'brutal finishing move' might you have used to finish the fight?
Well, my initial instinct when I was reading it, due to the fact that he had her head trapped between his thighs, would have been to either a) choke her out via "blood choke" as he seemed to be doing, or b) choke her out with an "air choke," which would have been significantly more painful and cruel, but still would not have necessarily been fatal.

I'm personally a fan of blood chokes, particularly the rear naked choke or "sleeperhold" as it is particularly intimate and so effective at ending a fight. I'm also a big fan of the guillotine choke, north-south choke, and the arm triangle for similar reasons. There are a lot of other varieties used in MMA that I think are pretty cool.

There are also a bunch of pro-wrestling moves that can be effective as finishers--piledriver, powerbomb, suplex (one of my faves), backbreaker, bearhug, etc... although I'm not really an expert on describing those.

Of course, if you want to go with a striking finish, you can hardly do better than a kneestrike to the head, but then there's uppercuts, backhands, and all kinds of kicks that can be pretty expressive (back kicks in particular). For instance, if an opponent is on their knees, a simple front snap kick is very visually stimulating. I probably would have gone with a tornado kick, which is basically a 360 roundhouse.

By the way, I actually really enjoyed the way you described Tyler's kicking game. Almost how I've seen female kickers described in femdom fights. It's effective at driving home the power of the kicker to both incapacitate and humiliate the opponent.

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Originally Posted by FootPower [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Exactly. I did consider setting the story in "the near future" and adding some explanation behind the inter-gender fighting. There was even a point when I was going to include the idea that the fighters were fitted with a device that would match their strength and speed exactly. But ultimately, it all felt a bit unnecessary and I should just let the narrative set the scene and allow the reader to fill in the gaps themselves.
I think that was exactly the right choice. I've realized after trying to create several scenarios myself, it's better to just focus on the action and let the reader fill in the backstory on their own, up to a point. You do want a certain amount of scene-setting, but you don't need to describe all the rules of the organization that's putting on the fight. That's where I've gotten into the weeds before. That may be why I'm starting to lean more towards street fight- or pit fight-type scenarios... it eliminates the need for rules. However, just the idea of such a league existing is exciting enough to think about, so... kudos to you.

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Originally Posted by FootPower [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Ultimately, my main impetus (as it is with all my maledom fiction) was in ensuring that Tyler's victory was 100% down to his skill, rather than any perceived physical advantage. Maledom media is already rare, and I find myself sadly disinterested in a lot of it because it often portrays a significantly larger man dominating a smaller woman. And that does nothing for me. The guy's bigger,so of course he's going to win. And as such, there's no humiliation for the loser, no genuine sense of superiority for the victor. For me, perfect Maledom is when a female fighter is outclassed, rather than outmuscled.
This is a huge point and something that stood out to me immediately about this story. The fact that the emphasis was on his skill was important. However, if I had to level a critique here, I would argue that a fighter with Leah's record, at an equivalent level of strength and training, would not have been so defenseless against Tyler. Part of the titillation factor for me is the idea that Leah is extremely capable and at her physical peak. Even on Tyler's best day, she might still make him work for it. So I think there needs to be a bit more of a balance there.

This may also be why I was really excited by the prologue, because part of the thrill of maledom for me is that the female fighter is outclassed (and maybe out-muscled) in a scenario where she is either heavily favored or expected to have a reasonable chance--in Jenna's case, she had the nickname "The Mankiller" which gave the reader the image of her as a high-profile athlete, perhaps even a very cocky one, yet we immediately see all of her dreams crashing down as we open on her being destroyed in media res. By the time we get to Leah's match with Tyler, the reader knows what to expect, more or less, especially after the first couple of punches from Tyler. Overall, I see what you were going for, and you did it very well.


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Originally Posted by FootPower [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Thank you, for all the kind words and feedback. Suffice to say, I don't think anyone posts a 100% Maledom story on this board expecting many likes, so any feedback/critique is always really very much appreciated. And yes, Tyler will certainly return at some point. You can't keep a bad man down!
You're welcome! I'm happy to provide feedback for such wonderful work. I don't always get the urge to read and write maledom stuff, so it's nice to be able to find such an excellent story right as I'm thinking of getting back into it. I eagerly await your next stories.
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  #12  
Old 30-Aug-19, 20:55
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Default Re: Tyler vs Leah: The Hardest Lesson (Maledom)

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Originally Posted by Bi0mega [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I think that was exactly the right choice. I've realized after trying to create several scenarios myself, it's better to just focus on the action and let the reader fill in the backstory on their own, up to a point. You do want a certain amount of scene-setting, but you don't need to describe all the rules of the organization that's putting on the fight. That's where I've gotten into the weeds before. That may be why I'm starting to lean more towards street fight- or pit fight-type scenarios... it eliminates the need for rules. However, just the idea of such a league existing is exciting enough to think about, so... kudos to you.
Exactly. I guess if there is a vague framework to the way Tyler's world works, it would be that there are still 'legitimate' fights, with referees, rules (albeit rules that Tyler would always look to exploit) and with championships/titles on the line. And then there's the standard pretty-much-every-martial-arts-movie-from-the-90's underground fighting ring, which is bankrolled by rich sadists who enjoy seeing people get hurt.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bi0mega [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
This is a huge point and something that stood out to me immediately about this story. The fact that the emphasis was on his skill was important. However, if I had to level a critique here, I would argue that a fighter with Leah's record, at an equivalent level of strength and training, would not have been so defenseless against Tyler. Part of the titillation factor for me is the idea that Leah is extremely capable and at her physical peak. Even on Tyler's best day, she might still make him work for it. So I think there needs to be a bit more of a balance there.
I think this still comes down to the area where our tastes most significantly diverge. For me, it's about using a little background and history in the build up to establish how skilled and experienced the female fighter is - but then having her utterly outclassed, right from the outset. It's essentially saying that however good Leah is (in this particular instance), Tyler is already on a whole different level.

Also, it's hard to properly explain, but if Leah had simply held her own, even for just the shortest time in this story, that still would have... diminished the story for me. I don't know, I think maybe part of my reluctance comes down to a touch of possessiveness, for want of a better word. There's already so much femdom action out there - be that written, photographed or filmed - and at least 90% of that femdom material is all completely one-sided. So I guess there's a part of me that begrudges devoting any part of a maledom story to even a tiny bit more femdom.
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  #13  
Old 17-Nov-23, 09:56
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Default Re: Tyler vs Leah: The Hardest Lesson (Maledom)

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Originally Posted by FootPower [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
"D'you know why I don't care about all the belts and medals that I win," he asked conversationally, knowing that Leah was in no condition to reply. The only noise from her mouth was a low groan, a tearless, pathetic, sobbing. It didn't matter to Tyler though. He knew that she could hear him. And he knew that she could understand. "OK, I'll tell you why," he continued. "All that stuff, they're just trinkets. Meaningless baubles representing a victory. But why would I care about that, I always win, right? Well hey, look who I'm talking to!" Tyler laughed loudly before speaking again.

"Trophies, though. Trophies are different. Trophies are important. And I don't mean the big gold cups with handles and engravings and all that crap. A trophy can be anything you want it to be. D'you want to see my trophies, Leah?" The only response from Leah was the same sound she had been making since the end of the fight. "I'll take that as a yes!" said Tyler.

Deftly swiping the screen of his phone with his thumb, Tyler opened up a photo-gallery. Selecting a picture at random, Tyler held the phone close to Leah's face, ensuring that even through the haze of her blurred vision and semi-conscious state, she could still see the images. On the screen was a selfie, a close up of two faces. One of the faces was Tyler, beaming joyfully. The other face was of a woman. A young blonde, perhaps, but Leah could not tell. The woman's features were bruised, bloodied, distorted. A sheen of sticky white fluid covered her face, and dribbled from her mouth in thick trails.

Tyler's thumb swiped left and the picture was replaced by another. Again, Tyler's smiling face looked back at Leah, but this time he was alongside a cum-drenched redhead. One of her eyes was black and closed, her nose flattened and her lips so swollen as to look almost comical. Tyler swiped again, revealing his flawless features and broad grin next to another beaten and doused woman. And then another. And another. And another. "You see," said Tyler, scrolling through photo after photo of his emphatic victories. "These are my trophies. You are my trophies. Beating another fighter is just a result, a record that goes in a book. But ending a fighter. That's how you know you're the best. And that's how I know."

He pulled Leah's face alongside his own and held up the phone in front of them. "Smile!" said Tyler as a flash momentarily blinded Leah. As her vision cleared, albeit to the limited range that she could currently achieve, Tyler was again holding the display in her eyeline. At first, Leah thought Tyler was showing her another of his old trophies, an opponent from the past. It took a few seconds before she realised the demolished, lifeless, cum-sodden face on the screen was her own.

"You won't fight again" said Tyler. "Nobody I've defeated ever has. They just disappear, fade away into perpetual anonymity. The only time you'll be remembered will be as a clip in my highlight reel. But I'll remember you, Leah." Tyler waved the phone in her face as he rose to his feet and stood in front of the kneeling, sobbing Leah. "You're in my trophy cabinet now. Just another inferior fighter who thought she knew better, who thought she was going to teach me a lesson."
Epilogue

The bruises had faded in time. It was three months after Leah's fight with Tyler, and her face now looked much as it had done before its repeated encounters with Tyler's feet. The less visible injuries had healed too, and she had almost regained full movement in her right arm. It still hurt of course, as did her entire body. Not with the excruciating agonies of that night, or the days and weeks that had followed. But every part of Leah's body still ached, a constant echo of every kick, every elbow, every knee that Tyler had inflicted upon her.

Stepping from the shower, Leah reached for a towel and gingerly wrapped it around her body, her slow movements betraying the lingering effect of Tyler's beatdown. Wiping the condensation from the bathroom mirror, she stood for a moment, gazing at her reflection. Her face was the same, she told herself, as though trying to quell her own doubts. Leah raised a hand to her cheek, her fingers slowly moving across her features, as though she were discovering her own face for the first time. My nose was always slightly crooked, she assured herself. And my cheekbones never had all that much definition.

I'm still the same. Nothing has changed. Nothing.

Leah was snapped from her reverie by the sound of her letterbox opening and closing. She greeted the sound with little enthusiasm. The only post she had received in the months following her humiliating defeat were bills, junk mail and cancellations for fights that she had been scheduled to compete in. Initially, such cancellations had been a necessity, a result of Leah's extensive injuries. Later though, Leah came to learn there was another reason for the string of promoters dropping her from upcoming events and tournaments. She had been Tylered. So brutal, so comprehensive were the defeats that Tyler inflicted on his opponents, an industry term had been created for his many victims. To be 'Tylered' meant to have suffered a loss so utterly debasing, to have been made to look so completely pathetic, that it would be impossible for any paying audience to ever take that fighter seriously again.

Stepping out into the hallway, still wrapped only in a soft white towel, Leah walked towards her front door. Laying on the floor was just a single sandy coloured envelope, bearing the address of Leah's apartment and nothing more. As she lived alone, the letter was clearly intended for her. An oversight on the part of the sender, perhaps? Unusually, her address had been hand-written. Something personal? she wondered. In the wake of becoming Tyler's personal kick bag and cum bucket, the volume of Leah's once substantial fan mail deliveries had decreased significantly. There had a been a few letters of encouragement from her most devoted of fans. But soon, even they stopped arriving. As was often the case after a Tyler fight, the majority of Leah's fans had immediately switched their allegiance to him.

Leah picked up the letter from the floor and opened it. Inside, she found what at first glance seemed like simply a white sheet of card. As she slid it from the envelope, Leah realised it was a photograph, inserted in such a manner so as to initially conceal the image. Turning it over, Leah looked at the photo.

Immediately, her face turned ashen. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she coughed an involuntary sob. In a moment, the memory of every injury Leah had suffered during her encounter with Tyler was brought back into absolute clarity. She could feel the relentless slapping of his bare soles as they decimated her face. She could feel the unforgiving surface of his knee as it slammed into her pussy, over and over and over again. She could feel his enormous cock stretching her gullet, making her eyes stream as she gagged and choked, before he filled her gut with gallon after gallon of his hot seed.

The tears came freely now. Because with the photo, so too had come a realisation for Leah. The bruises had indeed faded. And the contours of her face remained largely unchanged. But she was not the same. Not any more. Leah the fighter was gone forever. Beaten out of existence by the man who had sent her the photograph. A final devastating blow, delivered three months after the fight was over.

Tyler had won again.


Art by Adinaleen
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File Type: jpg tylpic.jpg (299.2 KB, 84 views)

Last edited by FootPower; 18-Nov-23 at 18:18.
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  #14  
Old 17-Nov-23, 12:00
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Default Re: Tyler vs Leah: The Hardest Lesson (Maledom)

This is an amazing epilogue! I’ve never seen a story deep dive the psychological aspect of losing a fight such devastating fashion in such detail. Plus, I appreciate having a piece of art that isn’t some AI generated monstrosity and this gave me an excuse to reread the story all over again. It was a masterpiece of Maledom action when I first read it four years and it has aged incredibly well four years later.

If this section had a HOF, it would be a first ballet induction.
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Old 18-Nov-23, 18:40
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Default Re: Tyler vs Leah: The Hardest Lesson (Maledom)

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Originally Posted by gameking [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
This is an amazing epilogue! I’ve never seen a story deep dive the psychological aspect of losing a fight such devastating fashion in such detail. Plus, I appreciate having a piece of art that isn’t some AI generated monstrosity and this gave me an excuse to reread the story all over again. It was a masterpiece of Maledom action when I first read it four years and it has aged incredibly well four years later.

If this section had a HOF, it would be a first ballet induction.
Thanks gameking. I'm glad you enjoyed my little coda to this story. I commissioned the artwork some time ago, really just for myself. I had thought about posting it on here, just in its original format, but never quite got around to it. However, once I had the idea of editing the "photo" into a specific scenario (the envelope on the floor), I realised I could add a bit more context to the image.

I've actually just taken advantage of the lengthy edit window on here and fixed something I'd missed, first time around. When I added Tyler's message and autograph to the photo, the idea behind "Loser No.217" was that Tyler doesn't think of his opponents as individuals. They're tools for his pleasure inside the ring and mere statistics for him out of it. With that in mind, even the idea of him writing Leah's name on the envelope (which was the case in the pre-edited version) seemed too 'personal'.

Anyway, thanks again for your very kind words. It's really appreciated!
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