Scissor screenplay idea (Law & Order style!)

[InTheFlesh86]

This may be a bizarre entry in this part of the forum, but I figured this was the best place for it.

A very tiny part of me is actually a little surprised that in all of the 95 million Law & Order episodes (and similar shows), there has never been anything even remotely like this. I don't pretend like this is great writing, but it doesn't seem to me to deviate too radically far from the typical template that many of these type of shows use. So I took a stab at creating a basic outline for my ideal episode of Law & Order (or similar show). Much of it is obviously incomplete. Let me know if you could ever see something like this actually airing on TV.


--Opening scene--

A man in a hotel room is visited by an attractive female escort. Time transpires and the man has clearly been seduced by the woman. The woman begins to seduce him and eventually coaxes him into resting his head on the inside of her (fairly muscular) thigh. The woman continues to stroke his head and hair before suddenly pulling him into her and wrapping her thighs tightly around his neck and locking her ankles. A struggle ensues but the man is overpowered and he slips into a state of unconsciousness as the woman continues to squeeze. The scene changes and it is implied that several minutes have gone by and the now deceased man is still trapped in her hold. The woman releases the man and straddles his chest. She puts on red lipstick and then gently kisses the man on the forehead leaving a lipstick mark.


<Opening theme>


<scene>
The characters of the show (Male lead, female lead, and two other minor male characters) are analyzing the facts of the case. The autopsy reveals that the man died of lack of blood flow to the brain. The investigators are perplexed by this because though the findings indicate the man was strangled, there are no signs of ligature marks or obvious trauma to the neck.

<scene>
A short amount of time passes and another male victim is found with the same lipstick kiss mark on his forehead. Phone records indicate that both men had made calls to an escort service just prior to their death. The protagonists visit the manager of the escort service who begrudgingly gives them a list of women who work for the service.

<scene>
The investigators work to eliminate as many of the women as they can. They narrow down the list to a handful of names and decide to question the women in person

<scene>
Several scenes are devoted to introducing the protagonists to several of the escorts as the different characters are questioned about their whereabouts and alibis.
We eventually see the protagonists (the female lead and a male minor character) meet the actual killer who they find to be working out in the gym. She is seen performing a set of very heavy squats (would depend of actress, possibly 315lbs for a few reps). The male character indicates to her that he is impressed and she tells them she couldn't do her job without nice legs. She answers the rest of the investigators questions, gives her alibi. The investigators leave.

<scene>
The investigators are at a loss as all the women have alibis that seem to check out. As time passes another victim turns up dead, again having called the same escort service. The investigators form a plan to go undercover and attempt to catch the women in the act. Several male characters from the show get paired up with various women from the service as they make appointments under anonymous names (opportunity for humor here and exploration of characters sexual histories).

<scene>
Several scenes are devoted to the men and their encounters with the escort women. The show's main male lead gets paired with the actual killer and she visits him in a hotel room.

<scene>
Meanwhile, the female lead and a male minor character (the pathologist) are looking over the medical reports over the previous victims and trying to determine any similarities in cases. Suddenly the female lead has an epiphany. She sees the men's lack of trauma to the neck and recalls the killer telling her that she wouldn't be able to do her job without nice legs. She asks the pathologist if the results of the autopsy could hypothetically be explained by the man's neck being constricted by something large, like a person's thighs. The pathologist says that its possible provided that the person was strong enough. She female lead realizes who the killer is and tells the male character that the male lead is in immediate danger and needs their help.

<scene>
The scene cuts back to the male lead and the killer who make small talk and cuddle. Eventually when he isn't expecting it, the killer tries to grab him between her legs and strangle him. The male lead reacts and is able to prevent her which leads to a struggle between the two. The women eventually hits him over the head with something and puts him into something like a rear figure 4 or maybe a rear triangle choke. The male lead struggles mightily but eventually begins to succumb to her and lose consciousness as his hands slide off her legs. At that moment, the female lead and a male minor character burst through the door and hold the killer at gunpoint yelling at her to release the man. The killer rolls her eyes and unwraps her legs causing him to slide to the floor coughing and gasping for air.

<scene>
Obligatory conclusion of the various threads of the episode. The male lead is seen wearing a soft neck brace and being lightly teased by his cohorts. Jokes about "killer legs" are made. Investigators discover that the killer's alibi was a fake. The killer reveals that she kills men because she had been raped as a young women and wanted men to feel powerless as she once did.

[XOL]

This would be a fantastic episode!!!

[Onatopp]

This sounds neat - naturally to me - sounds somewhat Xenia Onatopp-esque; the progression of the scenes - an initial murder of a minor character and then a struggle between the killer and the lead - feels very similar to how the scenes are presented in Goldeneye.

Which is not a bad thing by any means. Definitely an awesome concept for an episode.

[scissorjunkie]

That would be incredible if something like that got made!

[IWantLegs]

*slow clap* fantastic

[Alexios]

Definitely would watch this. Like the idea.

I do have a suggested edit. In the opening scene the killer drugs the victim with something (presumably to slow their response time) but there's no mention of any of that in the fight scene at the end. Which brings up the plot hole of why didn't the killer drug the male lead before trying to kill him. Without the fight she would've had enough time to kill the male lead and get away before the female lead rescued him.

My suggested edit is that the episode establishes the male lead is a leg man (the fact that he notices/compliments the killer's legs in the earlier scene where they get the alibi makes it a natural tie-in). So after the female lead establishes the killer's identity, have the scene where the male lead is admiring the killer's legs, getting distracted from the mission, and while he's distracted show the killer prepping the drink. But then have some bit of conversation make the male lead jump to the same conclusion as the female lead but the killer also immediately recognizes that he's on to her. Cue fight as described.

[InTheFlesh86]

Originally Posted by Alexios [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Definitely would watch this. Like the idea.

I do have a suggested edit. In the opening scene the killer drugs the victim with something (presumably to slow their response time) but there's no mention of any of that in the fight scene at the end. Which brings up the plot hole of why didn't the killer drug the male lead before trying to kill him. Without the fight she would've had enough time to kill the male lead and get away before the female lead rescued him.

Thanks for the suggestion haha. It's by no means a finished product, really more of a sketch. I suppose an easier way to reconcile the contradiction you point out is by just removing the drugging scene from the beginning and having the killer rely on her own ability.

There would be one problem with what you describe though. Its actually not the male lead that met the killer in the gym and made the comment about her legs, but a minor male character. Having the lead in this scene would create a problem in the final scene because the killer would have seen him before and would recognize him as a cop. I actually thought of the same thing when I was writing this.

[Alexios]

That's just my luck, fix a plot hole and end up creating a bigger one.

I'd say go with your solution instead. It makes it a lot sexier since the woman is killing the men solely with her physical power rather than relying on 'cheating', so to speak, even if she 'sexy lures' them into her trap. Also if her motivation is revenge on men and making them feel helpless, drugging them will dull any sensation her victim would feel (although mad panic would take much of the edge off) so is counterproductive from her point of view.

Perhaps work in some reference to how she knows self-defense (in the gym scene?) to help explain so she got the ability to take down her victims without drug assistance.

[InTheFlesh86]

Originally Posted by Alexios [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Perhaps work in some reference to how she knows self-defense (in the gym scene?) to help explain so she got the ability to take down her victims without drug assistance.

Yeah good point, it crossed my mind to have her doing triangle chokes instead of scissors, and to turn the gym scene into more of an MMA scene. Instead of squatting, she would be rolling with a guy before submitting him in a triangle, which would be what the female lead recollects back on toward the end of the episode. To be honest, something like that would probably have a better chance of making it's way onto TV. I just know some director is going to figure this out one of these days!

BTW - Drug seduction scissor scenes can actually be surprisingly effective (and awesome). Have you seen this before? [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Added after 5 minutes:

Haha, come to think of it, that episode isn't far off from what I had in mind.