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#1
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Male identity crises
This might not warrant its own thread, but I found [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] to be an interesting and honest account of the kind of reaction a conventional guy might have the first time he's exposed to a trained/skilled woman. Many on here will find this account to be silly at best and contemptable at worst, but I personally felt like I could relate to some of his thought process. I'll put the text here and would be curious to know what others think.
Also of note: I don't believe the screenshot in the article has anything to do with the story itself, as I recognize it to be from [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], which doesn't fit the situation he describes. Quote:
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#2
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Re: Male identity crises
Reddit gets all the good shit.
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#3
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Re: Male identity crises
Guy sounds like a idiot. Your dating a girl that trains in jujitsu... and if she is really into and and likes the sport jujitsu people always like to grapple around and throw their friends in holds and submissions. And they love to squeeze to get the tap which she was doing. He probably more upset cause it was done at a party wirh people around rather than at home in private. But still she trains in jujitsu .... there no shame in your girl catching you in a hold while you are playfully rolling around
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#4
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Re: Male identity crises
Quote:
He's got one thing in mind - "me, man, stronger, automatically better fighter/wrestler/gamer" - and it doesn't mesh with his reality. It's a mindfuck that's totally normal.
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#5
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Re: Male identity crises
Agreed. If he understood BJJ better he would not be in such shock. Not a big deal since she is trained and he is not. Also, to me, sounds like she thought she was going to impress him showing off her skills. At least that would have been my reaction. "good hold, I will get you next time". I'd say he should apologize, help her train and be the envy of many. Anybody that gives him a hard, bet them and make some money
Last edited by wsxqaz; 16-Nov-20 at 04:54. |
#6
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Re: Male identity crises
So he weighs just 140 lbs and he tought BJJ is so ineffective that he could beat a girl with 5 years of training just because he is a male? (it's clear he was bothered by the realization he is powerless against her, not by the act of choking itself).
I'm glad he learned that he was wrong the hard way. |
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#7
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Re: Male identity crises
The guy is an idiot!He knew she trained in BJJ.That close in weight, id expect to lose.Definately a guy going off stereo types.I admitt the first time wrestled my now wife i was a shocked that she tapped me out.I also didn't know she trained BJJ for yrs.She told me after the 3rd tapout in a row lol
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#8
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Re: Male identity crises
I think social norms tell us that guys are supposed to be stronger and being bested by a woman is shameful but hopefully that guy learns to deal with it. At one time, the thought of it made me uncomfortable but in my experiences of being in that situation in my early years, it was a confusing combination of “this isn’t supposed to be happening” and “this is fun that this is happening”.
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#9
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Re: Male identity crises
I think it may be a mistake to be overly critical of this guy on the basis of the logic that it's "completely reasonable that a girl with 5 years of training was able to do what she did given his size and lack of training". While that's true, I think we have to remember that emotions like shame, embarrassment, and other social stigmas and taboos are rarely determined by such straightforward logical reasoning.
For example, imagine you are walking in the grocery store and are unaware that someone spilled a clear liquid on the floor in front of you. As you step into the puddle you lose your footing and trip and fall. As soon as you do, a group of people nearby begin to laugh at you. Many people in that scenario would feel some degree of embarrassment, but why? There is absolutely nothing surprising about the physics involved. Given the force and the angle of your foot impacting the floor combined with the lack of friction due to the water acting as a lubricant between the floor and the bottom of your shoe, we can give a perfectly logical and satisfactory explanation for why you fell. So why feel embarrassed? I would say it has nothing to do with actually falling and everything to do with the social context being that there is an expectation not to fall. When failing to meet this expectation, you experience some degree of ostracization and ridicule from those around you. The suggestion from one's peers that there's something wrong with them can very often overwhelm one's personal logic and reasoning to the contrary. My two cents! |
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#10
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Re: Male identity crises
Quote:
Quote:
There are few absolutes out there.
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