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View Poll Results: Which Do You Do?
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  #11  
Old 09-Mar-21, 16:40
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Johnnax Johnnax is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

Well I wrote with many hundred women on dozens of sites before I met my current girlfriend.
She was not a fighter from before but knew the lotus lock very well.
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  #12  
Old 09-Mar-21, 21:19
realerkochtopf realerkochtopf is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ssddfaudhey [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I got lucky several times in my dating life.Girls that enjoyed wrestling around and were competitive.Hit the jackpot with my wife.When we began dating she held a brown belt in seido Kan karate(stopped 2 yrs prior) and was a blue belt in BJJ but was on a break from that.I did not know about this untill the first time we play fought.
Wow, that sounds great, can you maybe tell us more about that first time you play fought (if you haven't written it in another thread yet, that is)? Did you figure it out because she could beat you?
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  #13  
Old 09-Mar-21, 21:41
magnate magnate is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xemu [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I never date.

Women are better to rent than own.
Its a matter of perception/worldview...but I would consider "dating" a form of rental and "marriage" as a form of ownership.

"Dating" is one of those imprecise terms. To me, seeing the same person more than once in a sexual/romantic/amorous capacity constitutes "dating". The alternatives to dating would be:
a.) One night stands (one wrestling encounter, never repeated, or one hook-up/hang-out whatever-you-call-it
b.) transactional sex (paid) pay-to-wrestle, pay for whatever.

Added after 7 minutes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by skizerlover69 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Hello, I know the "F" word isn't very popular around here so I will just say I have some more "exclusive" desires when it comes to women. I'm having a hard time imagining dating or hooking up with people because of it, as I know I would have to A. either like the person enough to not mind suppressing my interests, which is rare and severely limits me or B. open up to them about it. As a result I'm very wary about getting involved with anyone especially in my town because I know what is later down the line and I feel very picky about who I would trust with the knowledge (haven't told anyone so far). Obviously I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I want my needs fulfilled like any other person.

So, I would like to ask people who have a more exclusive desire for wrestling, how do you go about dating? Do you trust people with your secret desires? How has your love life gone in the past, and was this "desire" an obstacle ever?

I notice a theme on this forum of some people hiding their desires, or not communicating them directly and just getting them to do things through trickery/nudging.
So I want to offer a perspective for what its worth. Some guys dont like the idea of "transactional sexuality"...for example, they don't want to pay a session wrestler to "play with them". For those guys, the alternative, I would guess, is what can be termed "dating". Dating implies some level of time, emotional, and maybe even monetary commitment.
You can "date" without it being monogamous, but when you date someone, your looking to make a lasting emotional connection of some sort, and there is good and bad "baggage" that goes along with that.

If you want a girlfriend AND you want her to engage your unique fetish desires, you just have to sink some time in, and then open up about your wants/desires. Sometimes, its a deal-breaker and a "bust", sometimes it is not. It just comes with the territory.
Your going to have a better chance of scoring some wrestling by dating a girl for a certain amount time, and then letting her know your fetish, than meeting some lady and immediately (on first date) confiding that you really want to wrestle with her. Its like anything else. There is a such thing as "too much info, too soon". But the risk you take is you sink some time into vanilla romance and then when you open up about your hidden desire, its rejected. There is also a decent chance your date/girlfriend will be open-minded to the idea.

Last edited by magnate; 09-Mar-21 at 21:41.
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  #14  
Old 10-Mar-21, 05:18
skizerlover69 skizerlover69 is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xemu [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I never date.

Women are better to rent than own.
Who hurt you?
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  #15  
Old 10-Mar-21, 12:49
ssddfaudhey
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by realerkochtopf [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Wow, that sounds great, can you maybe tell us more about that first time you play fought (if you haven't written it in another thread yet, that is)? Did you figure it out because she could beat you?
Yup I lost lol It started as she was talking about how strong her legs and core are etc from years of horse back riding.She then says her legs are probably way stronger than mine and if she ever gets them wrapped around me I would have to give up.I took her up on the challenge and lost terribly lol I couldn't even really move,she increased her squeeze unti I tapped out.She laughed and said told ya,!Then says even if we wrestled I I could get you like that and it would be game over.Obviously I said ya right let's go then.Best of 5 I declared, smirking she says fine.Starting on our knees she pulls me into guard immediately, before I could really react she locks the triangle choke on and I tap.That one she says.Next match she comes at me and secures side,knee on belly.After a brief battle to get my arm ended she got me with an armbar.I knew 100 percent at this point I'd been hustled lol Lsst match I was determined to get her.I go her down and in side control. She triangle my leg as I went for mount.While trying to free my leg she locked me into full guard. She swept me over into mount and grapevined my legs while securing a Kimura on my arm..Gets up and say I win! Guess I can tell you about my martial arts training now.We had a great talk about it.She had a few boy friends the past who couldn't deal with it well.She said she won't be with anyone who has a problem with a strong woman who can handle her self.Or a guy who's ego can't handle losing to a woman.So I try to get it out of the way early on because I won't pretend to be weak and just let you win.

Last edited by ssddfaudhey; 10-Mar-21 at 17:14.
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  #16  
Old 10-Mar-21, 13:43
bizyz bizyz is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

Take the time to let a girl get to know you before bringing that up.The more emotionally involved a woman becomes in a relationship,the more open she will become to things like that.
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  #17  
Old 10-Mar-21, 20:25
magnate magnate is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

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Originally Posted by bizyz [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Take the time to let a girl get to know you before bringing that up.The more emotionally involved a woman becomes in a relationship,the more open she will become to things like that.
I totally agree with this philosophy/strategy. It has its trade-offs though. You can invest some time and energy into this new girlfriend, and then find out she is 100% closted to the idea of mixed wrestling...or worst...she will do it, but only begrudgingly and clearly doesn't enjoy the prospect of endulging your fetish. Either of those are worst-case, but technically possible, scenarios. I think most women are more open-minded than that though.
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  #18  
Old 13-Mar-21, 08:10
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Braddogg4345 Braddogg4345 is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

I knew from a young age that when it came to my sex life, I had wrestling and scissors, rather than sex, on my mind. I also knew that my relationships would not last if the girl I was dating was unwilling to at least try to satisfy my wrestling desires. So I have always been open in my relationships. I don't bring it up on a first date or anything like that. But I will bring it up early in a relationship. Usually within the first few months. That way I know if she is a potential keeper or not.
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  #19  
Old 14-Mar-21, 17:16
vuk142 vuk142 is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

At the moment I'm not interested in a relationship but I think that if someone looks for one, he should be more cautious and look for signs that point in one or the other direction. For dates, I have looked on sites and had many, many, many chats in which I was open about my interest before finding out someone who was interested. It took me a lot of time but it was worth it
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  #20  
Old 31-Mar-21, 23:50
partyboy partyboy is offline
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Default Re: How do you guys go about dating?

I guess with dating you just have to be yourself and then when things progress to bedroom activities and sex, then it can become obvious as what does turn you on and off. I'm pretty new into a relationship (over 3 months) and whilst I can't remember our first time having sex, the conversation quickly turned to what we both liked, any fetishes, etc. I suppose I was lucky in that my girlfriend, who I was just dating at the time, was up for it. Clearly she could've said no and it would've gone wrong from there. I don't think I had to 'sell' it as such, I just mentioned play fighting so nothing fetishy as such and I didn't open with "I'd like you to stop me breathing or make me pass out". Make it fun, make it sexy, make it inclusive, and most importantly make it consensual, even if she's the one dominating you!

3 months on from then and we wrestle all the time! It turns out that she likes being pinned down too and we both like roleplaying. She's very good at it and creative with holds even though I really haven't shown her much!

I trust her, and I think it helps we don't have any mutual friends. If it was a friend of a friend or something then I do understand about trust issues as you wouldn't want it to get back to anyone close to you. She's in the next town over so even if the worst happened and we broke up in the future I wouldn't have much fear about word getting out so to speak.

This should be seen in the context of my previous girlfriend being a session wrestler and studio owner in the UK so in fetish / wrestling terms, I'm very lucky that I've a) found another lady that enjoys wrestling me and b) compares well in that respect with the ex!

The only times my fetish has being an obstacle is during sex as I struggle to get aroused being on top / in control. Maybe I've been lucky not having been with many 'vanilla' girls!
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