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  #31  
Old 31-Dec-20, 07:03
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Default Re: Very strange

Here's a new type of nightclub Variety Act, called 'Watch The Showgirl Reading A Telephone Directory' [1-2]. I doubt it will catch on around my way. Hang on - what's she doing now [3-6]. Ah, I get it; the old 'rip it in half' trick, but performed by a statuesque blonde rather than a hairy, overweight, bearded bloke [7-11].

Oh dear! That didn't work very well. Time for a rethink. That's it - pretend the spine belongs to a cheating boyfriend [12]. Have another bash, and soon that spine and the rest of him - I mean 'it' - are ripped apart [13-20]. Yes, it's now an Ex-Directory [21-23].

"Now, who wants to come up on stage to kiss my muscles?" [24-27]
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  #32  
Old 22-Feb-21, 10:38
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Default Re: Very strange

A ninja gets thrown onto his back, which must have been very embarrassing for him. But a greater indignity is to follow...

A hot blonde lowers herself down onto his face, as if she's in the bathroom, and twists his neck between her butt cheeks. And all so the hero can deliver his throwaway line:

"Well, I did tell you she had a killer ass!"
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  #33  
Old 22-Feb-21, 17:48
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Default Re: Very strange

@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] , thanks for the nice post. Which movie is it?
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  #34  
Old 26-Feb-21, 11:50
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Default Re: Very strange

Quote:
Originally Posted by jovanzi [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] , thanks for the nice post. Which movie is it?
Sorry for the delay, j Yes, 'Very Strange' indeed this one.

"The name's Bong; James Bong."

Secret Agent 420 is the only 'Stoner' movie I've ever enjoyed watching. So here are a few more screenshots for you. There's a much better look at the bubbly blonde Ass-phyxiator as well as her Bong Girl BFFs.

As you can see, they're fighting off some weed-y Ninjas who have invaded the secret agent's 'joint'.
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  #35  
Old 27-Mar-21, 10:45
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Default Re: Very strange

More strangeness; I'm calling it "Tales From Satan's Sauna - Part One" (of 2).

Now some of you might like to relax naked in a sauna, being gently disturbed by an equally naked young nymph merrily exercising outside in your garden. But the new owner of this old house has been warned about the hauntings and deaths that plagued previous residents, so you'd expect her to be a bit more on her guard.

But even when the tatty weed-covered, red demon-faced, mad-as-a-box-of-frogs, Vore-Fetishist approaches the house, blondie inside still thinks it's charming fun. Thankfully for her, the intruder just performs a series of tumbles and handstands; all of which are aimed solely at displaying her own untidy and badly-in-need-of-a-trim Lady Garden.

Don't worry if you're disappointed so far; the strangeness shifts more on-topic once the male resident has his turn in that haunted sauna.
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  #36  
Old 28-Mar-21, 11:29
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Default Re: Very strange

Quote:
Originally Posted by verscont [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
...the strangeness shifts more on-topic once the male resident has his turn in that haunted sauna.
And here, as promised (or threatened) is Tales From Satan's Sauna - Part Two - as I have dubbed it.

It's Mr. Tiny Dick's turn, and he's soon joined by a much bigger and stronger mystery woman. She wants to play with him, but is soon left disappointed. Cue the "It looks just like a penis; but much smaller!" jokes.

He gets mad at the insult(s) and tries to strangle her, but she easily evades him. So now what? Ah, that's it. If Limp Dick Larry can't satisfy her with his wedding tackle, maybe he can with his tongue. So she pushes his back down onto the wooden bench and climbs aboard for a good old face-humping. The guy is clearly a victim, not a willing participant, and he starts to struggle for breath. He thinks he can lift or part her strong thighs with his weak arms. She thinks that's funny.

And there it suddenly ends.
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  #37  
Old 08-Apr-21, 11:10
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Default Re: Very strange

Yes, I know - these images are making your eyes bleed. But I couldn't let this weirdest of weird sh1t pass by without letting you know it exists. And there's plenty more of it to come if you can stand the pain.

The basic plot is that a bunch of young, manhating, Island of Lesbos dwellers - around a dozen of them - are planning to take over the world! They want to enslave all men and establish a planet-wide rule of matriarchy. But they've got brains to match their beauty, and realise that men control all of the world's conventional and nuclear weapons. So to prepare for battle, these two Amazons are teaching each other martial arts (in their stylish new black high heels).

But what's this creeping into shot from the right-hand side of the frame? Yes, it's their first success! One man has been captured already; only another 3,899,999,999 men still to defeat girls.
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  #38  
Old 13-Apr-21, 10:46
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Default Re: Very strange

We're back with the same girls, still training for female World Domination. But before the action, see if you follow my logic: How often do you see wacky subtitles that are nonsensical or totally irrelevant to what's happening on screen? With a DVD collection like mine, it's all the time. So how do they get away with it? Simples! If the people making the movie understood the subtitled language, they wouldn't need a subtitle guy in the first place - which means he can put any old crap on screen.

And my point is? Well see below; sometimes they just don't know and can't be bothered making up a translation. "OK sisters, what are you going to do to All The Men In The World?" [1] Er... "Something" [2].

Then the 20th Century dominatrix-types prepare for battle using special weapons and tactics better suited to the Roman Coliseum. That would be Big Plastic Sword-fighting [3-5] and Cardboard Trident-poking [6-9]. But my favourite style of combat - coming tomorrow - belongs more in the Greek Olympics. Can you guess what it is yet?
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  #39  
Old 14-Apr-21, 06:57
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Default Re: Very strange

Quote:
Originally Posted by verscont [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
But my favourite style of combat - coming tomorrow - belongs more in the Greek Olympics. Can you guess what it is yet?
Yes, it's Dancing! [1] No self-respecting Ancient Greek Festival would take place without it. Only kidding, of course; the girls are actually wrestling. If they ever took me as their slave, I'd apply for the positions of body oiler and training dummy.

For all I take the piss out of this production though, I think there's a whiff of authenticity here. The karate kicks may have sneaked in from the 20th century, but look closely at the rest. I think the aim of original Greco-Roman wrestling actually was to lift your opponent off the ground, turn them around, and then slam them back down arse-first.
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  #40  
Old 15-Apr-21, 12:42
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Default Re: Very strange

Right. I've asked the Devil Girls to get cracking, and show what else they have to offer us pretty sharpish. And that's because I've got a really fruity girl in The Green Room who's itching to be introduced to you. So without further ado...

"Death To All Men!!!" [1] Starting with this one who has just popped down for breakfast [2]. And a good thrashing from a bonkers bat-eared bint [3-7]. I suspect this may have been unplanned, but she hits the guy so hard that he's instantly knocked backwards off his chair [8-10]. Never mind, they can't afford another take, so just carry on. But Whiplash Girl doesn't finish the job - because she's soon surrounded, outnumbered and captured by her victim's mates. I'm in too much of a hurry to show you that, but you can see the first guy arriving in the background here [11].

So when the hottie harridans return later for another sole diner [12], they turn up mob-handed [13-14]. And they don't need whips this time, because the thunder-thighed leader can use her knees [15-18]... to bring him to his knees [19-21]. Four Cardboard Trident Pokers stand on guard [22-25], whilst two of the girls run upstairs - just so I can watch their boobies and botties jiggling away (many thanks for that, Mr. Director) [26] . And look - I told you so; here's Miss Whiplash all tied up waiting to be rescued [27]
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