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  #31  
Old 17-Nov-20, 07:05
martin17 martin17 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

I miss details on the girlfried: brown or black belt? miniskirt? sexy underwear? big breasts?
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  #32  
Old 17-Nov-20, 17:13
Jwo321 Jwo321 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Here’s the thing people come to this guys defense like he is some pedestrian living under a rock his whole life. Bjj is much more exposed and main stream now. How many Hollywood blockbusters are out there with bjj scenes? Your telling me this guy hasn’t seen “avengers” wirh scarlet johansen flying around with scissor throws and arm bars ? This guy hasn’t heard of the UFC ?! He hasn’t seen the news of cops killing people in chokeholds ?! The guy knows he was put in a choke. He is a idiot due to his reaction. Your gonna break up with a girl over this ?! A playful display of her knowledge ? He just said they play wrestle all the time. Who hasn’t play wrestled when the eye were kids and it got out of hand alittle ?! Did you unfriend your buddy ? Or hate your brother or sister ?! His reaction was one of total baby. Yeah he got mad ok I can see that. Sounds like she had a trach choke too with her forearm across his windpipe as he explains his airway closing. Anyone in this position knows it’s hurts and if you don’t know what it’s like your probably gonna get mad. But shit don’t storm off like a child then do the silent treatment the whole day after. To the point where she is crying and apologizing. That’s even more embarrassing. You got to make her feel so bad for your little wounded ego. That’s where the “idiot” comes in.
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  #33  
Old 17-Nov-20, 17:29
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Default Re: Male identity crises

This story was written by a robot.

I'm chilling with some beautiful, green, Bohemian grass tonight. So, please humor me.

I think this account is dishonest. It's very unlikely that a person who is going through this has posted it on a public forum for advice. He's probably one of us.

But let's make sense of it, as if it were a true story. Because, all stories are true, even fake ones.

They have wrestled "sometimes" but he hasn't felt how good she was. How is that possible? It's quite likely that from past rolling-arounds she has figured out that she can subdue him. So, why didn't she until now? Did she want to feel submissive in a relationship? My version is, she was just going easy on him before this evening, not wanting to possibly upset him, knowing his ego is fragile. She was simply taking care of him. She probably doesn't think that strength or combat ability is important in a relationship, or is somehow a factor that decides who's gonna listen to who when the time to listen comes. But she knows that he does.

So, what changed? Why did she put him in a hold that she never used on him? Why did she subdue him?

Something happened at the party. She came along, followed him, to his friend's party. It's likely that he neglected her, or their disconnect became obvious at one point. He doesn't bring up what happened at the party, because he didn't notice it. Her act of choking him is a result of whatever happened, which was really the last drop of the ongoing crises. It could be a conscious decision on her end, but is probably subconscious. If you like to make that distinction that is.

Notice, how he says "my friend's birthday". His friends aren't yet their common friends. Now, they don't have to be. But they can be, when two people are really close. Often in life, they aren't. Often, each person in a relationship has his/her own set of friends. But the fact that he brings up "my friends" is telling me, that he is in a sort of a shell, which many of us, unfortunately, also are. Why not just say "a friend's"? The fact that it was HIS friend that they visited doesn't mean anything to the story. But maybe it does.

Other evidence of his neglect of her, of him not really knowing her, of the complete dysfunction of this relationship, as well as his own mechanical nature:

"rational, level-headed, and smart woman"
Notice, how there is no talk of love, care, any emotion when he describes her. He doesn't even describe her body. He's basically describing a robot. That's because he is one.

"whom I absolutely trust"
Absolute trust only comes when you don't see your partner as a human. You see them as a machine operating under certain instructions. Human beings are not like that. There are no absolute promises. What does it even mean, to have an absolute trust in someone? Isn't this, when you really look at it, a selfish statement?

"I believe she is decently good (I’ve never seen her fight)"
Lack of care. Jiu-jitsu is clearly a huge part of the gf's life. Disconnection.

"I have zero self defense training as I don’t have the time or money to go to classes or a martial arts gym. I boxed briefly in early college but had to quit pretty early on because I got a new job."
Financial issue twice. He has no money. He quit the chaotic, emotional, primal world of boxing for "a job". He didn't stop boxing because of an exciting new thing that was consuming his resources, but just "a job". There was really no time to continue boxing? He is struggling financially. He is struggling. Financial goals can also be seen as attachment to worldly things. But this is a big, nuanced topic, where we all read what we want to read. My take on this is that energy comes first, success second, not vice versa.

"My emotions just start going crazy, which is clouding my judgement and my thought processes"
That's what emotions do, when you're not accustomed to them.

"cool off"
We have fans for this.

"process"
Blip. Blop.

"I decided to just go home"
Home is where all songs end. At least they used to.

"confused" "enraged" "backed away" "didn't know what to do"
Sounds familiar?

"I just wanted to go to sleep"
Of course. The fight of night and day is an ancient battle.

The death of ego is always accompanied by strong negative emotions. "it is taking a big toll on my confidence and my self-esteem." Fear, shame, self-doubt etc. This is a good thing. He should thank her. The truth is, we should all thank those who disturb our balance, helping us on our way to a new platform, a more stable one.

"took a shower together"
Baptism.

"I don’t know how to feel about her, but also, and maybe more importantly, I don’t know how to feel about myself. I felt something I haven’t felt in a really long time. I felt helpless."
Suddenly, our robot starts to feel. He felt 5 times in 3 sentences.

Our hero is on the right track.

It seems that to learn to breathe, we first need to be choked out.
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  #34  
Old 17-Nov-20, 20:13
Fritz Fritz is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

I agree with @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] , I cant believe that somebody "finds" this forum without being somebody of us. So when he writes this story, he masturbates by reading answers whom he likes.
But yes, I can imagine that some of us say that we have the fantasy to be dominated by a woman who can beat us in wrestling (and we fullfill our fantasy in the sessions we book), but who REALLY want to have such a real life experience? How many guys REALLY want to get beat up by his wife? by the way, Mr @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], I heard a rumour that you and Lucrecia are a couple? If yes, you could tell us how it really is when the woman is REALLY able to beat up her male partner

To my personal view: There are a few ladies in our wrestling-scene who are able to beat me in our sessions like Axa, OrsiB, etc, but if we would have a "street-fight of die or survive" I am still optimistic that I would win, so I would not be afraid to take Axa and OrsiB as my gf. BUT as an example Sheena would kill me also in real life, so I would not want to have her as my gf.

And to the other topic. I cant understand why guys would have a problem when their wife would make more money at work. What the fuck is your problem, guys? I would be happy if my wife would make more money than me as the money goes into the common cash register of the marriage union.

Last edited by Fritz; 17-Nov-20 at 20:33.
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  #35  
Old 17-Nov-20, 20:31
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alias702212 alias702212 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fritz [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
...
To my personal view: There are a few ladies in our wrestling-scene who are able to beat me in our sessions like Axa, OrsiB, etc, but if we would have a "street-fight of die or survive" I am still optimistic that I would win, so I would not be afraid to take Axa and OrsiB as my gf. BUT as an example Sheena would kill me also in real life, so I would not want to have her as my gf...
Haha, it doesn´t matter at all as long as you don´t fight for your live. So I bet you get beaten up in publicity any way, especially when others are around, prepared to help the girl when you start playing unfair.

At this point :
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zweig [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
"rational, level-headed, and smart woman"
Notice, how there is no talk of love, care, any emotion when he describes her. He doesn't even describe her body. He's basically describing a robot. That's because he is one.
I had to think about you and the way you were used to give us reports from your personal wrestling experiences.

Based on that, I rather consider this story as true than fake.
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  #36  
Old 17-Nov-20, 20:59
Fritz Fritz is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Quote:
Originally Posted by alias702212 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Haha, it doesn´t matter at all as long as you don´t fight for your live. So I bet you get beaten up in publicity any way, especially when others are around, prepared to help the girl when you start playing unfair.

I was talking about a fight of die or alive. So you think in public other people would help the woman kill a man?
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  #37  
Old 17-Nov-20, 21:17
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alias702212 alias702212 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fritz [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I was talking about a fight of die or alive.
Me too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fritz [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
So you think in public other people would help the woman kill a man?
Sure, when you try to overpower her they would help her. If she overpowers you, I am not sure...I would say in that case you´re lost either way.
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  #38  
Old 17-Nov-20, 21:53
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InTheFlesh86 InTheFlesh86 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

I hesitate to disagree with the great @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], but to play devil's advocate as to this story being genuine, I think there are a couple things worth noting.

It appears that this story was first posted on Reddit on April 14th, 2019 at 13:41 GMT (7:41AM in my timezone). It got quite a bit of attention (1.6k comments) and within 24hrs had been reposted to a bevy of other blogs and websites. I can't know for sure since the original Reddit post was deleted, but it was probably only on these reposts that the fake picture and poll were included, so those shouldn't count against the story's authenticity.

As far as the story itself, there are a number of details that are very inconsistent with the typical fetish guy who's fishing for answers he likes. Here were some that stood out to me:

1. No detailed physical description of the girl or any mention of whether she's attractive or fit.
2. Depicting the girl in a questionable moral light.
3. The hold she used on him is merely described as an "ACTUAL HEADLOCK" with no elaborate recounting of what parts of her body were used, where his head was etc.
4. His reaction of being "extremely angry", "confused", and emotional is very plausible for a non-fetish guy, but actually not one that many people even in the fetish world are typically aware of (would have expected something like "Embarrassed, shocked, humiliated").
5. The girl feels very bad about what she's done and apologizes profusely, whereas girls in fake stories almost always derive some sort of sexual pleasure or gleefulness about vanquishing their male adversaries.
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  #39  
Old 18-Nov-20, 01:03
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KillerCrushes KillerCrushes is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

I read the Reddit OP to my wife, Sand, and she had this to say:

"Tell him to put his ego in his pocket. He's lucky and should be glad that she can defend herself when he is not around. The purpose of self-defense is to protect yourself in the street, not to defend against your partner. That's all his ego, nothing more."

And that's from a woman who totally understands the fetish.
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  #40  
Old 18-Nov-20, 02:31
mark.johnson21 mark.johnson21 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

If the post is genuine, then this guy doesn't have the fetish at all, though -- which means it's not sexually stimulating to him to have a strong girlfriend who can kick guys' asses. I don't think he's upset that she's able to defend herself or that she's strong. I think he's upset that A) she tried to actually hurt him when they were just fooling around, and B) he sees how he's far weaker than he had previously thought.

Guys are raised with the societal notion that they are supposed to be strong and able to protect women -- especially their girlfriends and wives. Now he's in a position where she has taken over his role as the stronger person, and he's left feeling weak, useless and emasculated.

It's easy for us to say: "Oh, get over it, swallow your pride, don't have an ego," but that's because we all want women to dominate us. If we did not get off on women doing that to us, would we really feel any different than him? I doubt it.

Society pushing the narrative for that last 2 decades that women are physically as strong as men is not enough to overcome the 10,000 years of male evolution that has led to the opposite view.
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