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Old 31-Jan-12, 17:28
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Default Story Writing Tips

The Art of Editing

there are some very good stories here authored by some very promising writers. Some excerpts on the art of editing:

"We labor under the notion that good writing flows easily from the pen or typing fingers, and that editing too much will “kill” our work.

The best writers know differently, of course — their memoirs and biographies and writing manuals are filled with stories of books
that needed to be cut in half to be readable, sentences that took weeks or months to get just right, and lifetimes spent tinkering with a single work that never strikes them as “just right”.

To paraphrase a common saying among writers, there is no good writing, only good re-writing.

But if writing isn’t taught well enough or often enough these days, editing is hardly taught at all. This is too bad, since editing is where the real work of writing is at.
More than just proofreading, good editing improves the clarity and forcefulness of a piece.

Here’s some tips and tricks to help you make your writing more effective:

* Read out loud: Reading a piece out loud helps you to identify clunky, awkward passages that seem to make sense to the eye, especially to the author’s eye.

* Read in reverse: Read from back to front, sentence by sentence (or maybe paragraph by paragraph, or both) to make sure that each sentence and each paragraph is internally coherent —
that it makes sense on its own.

* Sleep on it: Wait at least a night, and preferably longer, before starting your editing. Ideally, you want to forget what you wrote, so that — again — your brain doesn’t see what it expects to see but only sees what’s really there. A lot of times we make logical errors that make sense at the time, because our minds are filled with ideas, examples, and arguments related to our topic; when we approach our writing with a clear mind, though, those mental connections are gone, and only what we’ve actually written counts.

* Cut, don’t add: We are almost always too wordy. While you may need to add a word or two while editing, for the most part you should be removing words. Concise writing is more powerful and easier to read than lengthy prose.

* Justify yourself: Every point, statement, question, joke, even every word should have a reason to be in your piece; if it doesn’t, strike it. Be harsh — if a word or phrase does not add value to your writing, get rid of it.

* Watch for fancy words and cut them. Inexperienced writers often ape the language of academia, or rather the language they imagine academia uses. For most readers, the language of journalists is a much more appropriate model — and that means aiming for at best a smart eighth-grader’s reading level.

* Throw out and get rid of unnecessary redundancies you don’t need: This applies in both sentences and the work as a whole. In high school, you might have learned to “say it, say it again, and then say what you said”; for most readers, this is a waste of their time and an insult to their intelligence; in the end, they’ll just tune you out. Say it clearly the first time, then move on.

* Kill unsightly adverbs: Some adverbs are fine, but usually they serve only to pad out a statement that doesn’t need padding. For example: “He ran quickly”. It is in the nature of running to be quick. If there’s something unusual about his running (perhaps he ran slowly), then mention it; if not, just say “he ran” and trust your readers to know what running means.

* Passive sentences are to be avoided: Beware of the use of “to be” and its conjugations (is, was, were, are, am). These often indicate a passive sentence, where the subject is acted upon instead of acting. Passivity makes for weak, unconvincing writing. Passivity is often the hallmark of someone trying to weasel out of something: “Mistakes were made” assigns no blame, while “I made a mistake” tells the world you’re taking responsibility. It does not convey the action, it only suggests the effect. So avoid passive sentences.

Good editing, like good writing (or, better, as part of good writing), is an art.

It takes time and practice to develop a real talent for editing, but the end result is worth it — your writing will be more alive, more effective, and ultimately more likely to be read. And that is, after all, what’s important: that your audience reads and, just as crucially, understands your work."

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Old 05-Mar-18, 22:04
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

Renamed and stickied on @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]'s suggestion. Hope you don't mind, EP!
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Old 05-Mar-18, 22:35
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

You rock Zweig!
I emailed EP last night asking him if it was cool.
The only thing I would like to add to this outstanding post is be aware that many people use tablets, and reading dense paragraphs can be a problem. Line breaks are helpful, even if not grammatically correct.
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Old 18-Mar-18, 16:21
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

Quote:
Originally Posted by boyandy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
You rock Zweig!
I emailed EP last night asking him if it was cool.
The only thing I would like to add to this outstanding post is be aware that many people use tablets, and reading dense paragraphs can be a problem. Line breaks are helpful, even if not grammatically correct.
Definitely agree with this comment...it’s also due to the fact that a lot of the web works on sans serif fonts — those are much more difficult to follow when reading a narrative and also tend to limit retention of what’s being read...
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Old 24-Jul-18, 01:32
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

I hope nobody minds if I add my own tips here...

Setting/Introduction

One thing I often struggle with is how long to make an introduction. Many (many, many...) times I'll see a story with an interesting title, open it up, scroll down three pages and realize they're still not fighting, and get bored and close the tab. There's no hard rule about how long your introduction should be, but consider: Is this information the reader needs to have? I remember one story where our heroine, having grown up, is going to fight her teacher, but after six pages of unimportant detail, I gave up on anything ever happening. I can't think offhand of any story that needs a six page introduction, and I would say when in doubt, try to keep it short. Give the reader all the information they need, but don't give them anything they don't. And what information does the reader need? Two main things: Setting and character.

Setting means the setup - where are our heroes fighting? Is it a private match, or is there a crowd? This is also where you can set up the tone of the story - is this a friendly match, is it nothing personal, or a grudge match? What are the stakes of the fight? What rules (if any)? Probably the most important part of the setup is why these characters are in conflict, because this sets the tone for the whole story, what each fighter is looking to get out of the fight, what they might do to the loser, how far they'll go to win the fight, and so on. (Two women who get into a traffic accident in the middle of the night and start brawling might be hitting each other in the crotch; a friendly wrestling match between the moms of two kids who are dating wouldn't be doing any low blows, slapping each other's tits, etc.)
A quick note on motivations: The two oldest cliches in these kinds of stories are fighting over a man, or clothes. I don't recommend using either one. (I've read some great stories where two women are fighting over a man, but they're usually great because of the action, not the motivation.) This is the part to let your imagination run wild; no idea is too out there if the story's written well.

Character is who are characters are - Why are they fighting? What are their skill levels? What do they hope to accomplish? What do they look like? This last one is detail I'm often surprised to see missing; you should try to give the reader enough information to picture the fighters. How tall are they? What is their body shape like? What does their hair look like? What does their face look like? What are they wearing? It may help to give a height and weight to your characters, but I find if they've been described in enough detail, it's not really needed. (You don't need to say that Stephanie is exactly 5'8" and Stacy is 5'2"; the reader just needs to know that she's tall, and how much taller she is than her opponent; likewise they just need to know that Stacy is maybe slightly below average height, and how much shorter she is than Stephanie.)
That being said, if you do give a weight, bear in mind that the number given accords with the body type you've described. I've read a ton of stories where a woman is described as powerful or curvy, but then is given a weight that would make her emaciated. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat, and if a woman is 6'1" with 40EE tits, she's going to look like a rake with two melons taped to it at 120 pounds. I use a site called My Body Gallery ([Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]) to help visualize what a body at a certain height and weight would look like. I would also advise against engaging in stereotypes when using characters of different races. Latina women often have wider hips than white women, which is fine to put in, but remember all races come in all body types. Lastly, if you give someone a tattoo, an injury that impacts the flow of the match, etc., make sure you remember these; if Stephanie has a dislocated shoulder from when the copy machine fell on her last week, she shouldn't be using that arm to deliver clotheslines and chokeslams.

If you're doing a female vs female fight, I recommend describing both characters in detail; if it's a male versus female fight, you can leave the male underdeveloped; nobody really cares what the guy looks like, so you only need to give the reader enough information about him so they know his build and skill level (and maybe his hair, if the woman is going to grab it). Also, I suppose it lets male readers project themselves onto the hero easier. (Sorry, ladies.)

And the final goal, try to grab the reader right from the first sentence. I don't usually suggest starting in the middle of the fight or doing the cheesy "Yes, that's me getting a naked face sit from famous pop star Sia. How did I get here? Well..." (Although I have done that myself once or twice...) But start with something unusual that will get the reader's attention and make them want to see what's going to happen.

With all that in mind, let's take a look at an introduction to one of my stories. See if you can spot how I try to do the following:

Keep the introduction short.

Set up where (the guest bedroom) and why (our hero slept with his wife's sister) the characters are going to fight. What is each fighter trying to get out of the fight? (Our hero wants his wife to calm down, and our wife wants to punish him for cheating on her.)

Set up the tone of the fight. This is a grudge match, but our heroine's goal is to punish the hero; she'll happily kick him in the balls, but she won't do anything to permanently injure him. Both fighters are a bit inexperienced, so they won't be giving each other teardrop suplexes and emerald flowsions; the moveset will probably be simple strikes (slaps, punches, kicks) and simple grappling moves (bearhugs, basic slams).

This is a male/female story, so we introduce the female fighter, giving her name, what she looks like, what she's wearing, some hints to her personality and her fighting style, etc. All that we need to describe about our male hero is how he stacks up compared to her.

*************************************************

"You fucked my sister?!" my wife shrieked.
"Honey, it's not like that -"
"Not like that!" she pointed her chopsticks at me. "What was it like?"
"Listen, I mean... I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, but -"
"Shut up," she hissed. "When we get home, I'm going to beat the fuck out of you. Then -" she stabbed a dumpling with her chopsticks - "I'm going to beat the shit out of her. Then I'll start thinking about what you need to do before I'm willing to forgive you."
"Okay, honey." I looked down into my lo mien. I'd taken my wife to her favorite Chinese place in the hopes it would dampen her temper, but it didn't seem to be working. "Can I explain what happened?"
"I know what happened," Debra scoffed. "Don't think she cares about you or wanted to have sex with you, specifically. She just has to try to take everything I have. You know," she leaned forward, really warming to the subject, "she's tried to fuck every boyfriend I've ever had, just because she could. I guess I just thought my HUSBAND would be able to keep his DICK in his pants!" The couple at the next table was staring, but one mean glare from my angry wife was enough to send them back to their food.

It was a awkward rest of the dinner as Debra stared holes in me from under her beat-up cowboy hat, and a equally awkward ride home as I knew what was waiting for me when we got there. We’d tussled for fun a few times, and I knew from that how strong my wife was; she’s a stocky, powerful woman, an inch taller than me at 5’9” (usually even taller in her cowgirl boots).

The front door had barely finished closing before my wife was stripping off her orange sundress. "Take your clothes off," she grunted. I took off my shirt, then my pants, unable to stop myself from getting hard as she was down to just her panties and cowgirl boots. "Now don't get any ideas," she hissed, looking at my cock tenting out my underwear. "You're going to be lucky if I don't rip that thing off. Come on." She lead me upstairs and into our guest bedroom, closing the door behind us and attacking without warning, slapping me across the face so hard my head snapped around with the hit. I gasped and...

*************************************************

Finally, try not to sweat over the introduction too much. I know that might sound goofy after everything that's just been laid out, but the introduction is often the most difficult part. If it's easier, write the fighting part first, then go back and fill in the introduction; sometimes it's the only way I can finish a story.

The story itself

You should consider what words you use to write your story. I personally get distracted if the same word recurs too many times ("Stephanie punched Stay in the stomach. Stacy grabbed her stomach and groaned at her stomach hurting from the stomach punch. Stacy punched Stephanie in the stomach back and now Stephanie's stomach hurt from Stacy punching her stomach...") I personally find it helpful to switch around synonyms, so instead of hearing about someone's stomach 12 times, we might hear about her midsection, stomach, gut, belly, breadbasket, etc. Here is where you can think about which word to use; if we have a BBW, she might have a gut; if we have 18 year old getting beat up by her mom, she might have a tummy. In these cases, the right word paints a picture for the reader. Likewise, if we have a Amazonian bodybuilder who looks like she's cut from pure muscle, it's probably best to avoid referring to her gut (since she has rock-hard abs), or her tummy (since it's a juvenile word that implies vulnerability or immaturity). I don't recommend worrying about this as you're writing the first draft; the most important thing is to get the story out, and changes like this can be made when editing or polishing the finished work.

Likewise, you should consider how you are describing the action. At the start of a fight someone may get hurt, winded, or get the wind knocked out of them; towards the end of the fight they might get devastated and crushed; and only at the end of the fight should they get annihilated, destroyed, and finished off. If Stephanie hits Stacy once and this is described as Stephanie "hurting her with a sharp blow", we can expect Stacy to maybe not feel great, but is still in the fight and capable of hitting back; if Stephanie "destroys her with an annihilating blow", we probably don't expect Stacy to get up again.

In terms of what happens during the fight, it should match what's already been established during the setup - if we have two soccer moms tussling over one of them barging in front of the other at Starbucks, we expect to see slaps, hairpulling, maybe some kicks; if they start dishing out emerald flowsions, there's a mismatch with the setup. (Unless one of them is a retired pro wrestler. Huh, there's an idea...)
Likewise, the setup should inform how much damage the fighters inflict on each other - if we have a husband and wife rolling around in their underwear, we don't expect the wife to rip her hubby's balls off or claw his eyes out. The setup should also inform the fighters interacting with each other outside of fighting - are they teasing each other good-naturedly, or taunting each other cruelly?
I find it helpful to mention how the fighters are doing from time to time; after the first exchange perhaps Stephanie is just a little sweaty, while Stacy is getting a black eye; later on Stephanie is breathing hard and holding her stomach, while Stacy is losing speed and getting sloppy; near the end of the fight we might see that Stephanie's eye is bruising shut and her tits are swelling, while Stacy can barely stand, running on fumes and adrenaline. It can be useful to add these parts to make it clear to the reader how the fight is developing; they might be surprised by someone making a heroic comeback, but they shouldn't be surprised at the point where the victor defeats the loser for good.

Last is the ending. This is often the hardest part for me; in general you want to think about three possibilities: Are you setting up a sequel, bringing the story to a conclusive end, or are you not sure? In the first case where there's another chapter, set up a sequel hook - this can be something as simple as someone asking "Rematch?", or you can go for something more dramatic ("Little did I know this wasn't the last I'd see of my ex-wife and her vibrating strapon"). If you're ending the story here, just make sure all the plot threads are concluded; this is usually the easiest ending. If you're not sure, it's possible to wrap everything up but still leave a little crack open in case you want to write another chapter later.

Spelling & Grammar

Now that the story's done, run a spelling and grammar check; This might sounds basic, but I'm always surprised when people take the time to write something up, but not to do a three minute spelling check afterwards. DON'T MAKE THE WHOLE STORY IN ALL CAPS... IT LOOKS LIKE YELLING... You don't have to make sure the story is APA formatted or anything, but it can be very distracting if you for example have multiple periods at the of every sentence.... likewise you dont want to do all lower case or leave out punctuation. I don't recommend writing the story up as a script either, as this is usually hard to follow. The aim should always be simple, clear communication.

After finishing a story and doing your spelling/grammar check, put it aside and forget about it for a while. I suggest leaving it alone until you've almost completely forgotten about it; when you come back to edit it, not only will you have a much easier time spotting errors your spelling/grammar check didn't catch (oops, I put "writing" instead of "writhing"), but it should also help you spot any continuity errors as well. (This one drives me nuts - I'm almost tempted to just start every fight with everyone totally naked so I don't have to remember what they started in and how much, if any, clothes they've lost so far.) If you have the patience, after doing your editing, put it aside for a second time, then come back and do a final polish pass before publishing it. (This is why it takes me forever to finish anything!)

* * *

And last of all, whether you're reading or writing, have fun!
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Old 15-Feb-20, 16:57
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

Hi, Ed: Thanks for your wonderful editing tips.

Please let me add one: After you've finished, lay the piece aside for at least a month.

When I'm done, I've usually written the most important contribution to English literature for the past century, if not all for all time. I need at least a month to climb back down, realize that it's only a piece of genre fiction and that it needs work.

Code:
editing
Code:
stories
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Old 25-May-21, 04:50
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

I recently (re)started writing my own MvF fight story (in Chinese, though), and I struggled writing my first fight scene as my story reached the point of conflict. I referred to my old works and found those just weren't satisfactory anymore - they didn't feel alive. I found this very helpful guide of how to write better fight scenes: [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
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Old 31-Jul-21, 15:15
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Old 28-Apr-23, 13:20
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

What's wrong with the fonts here?
They're too small and it makes it harder to try to read stories
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Old 02-May-23, 14:43
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Default Re: Story Writing Tips

I agree with you!
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