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Old 13-Jun-21, 17:56
Tjeik Tjeik is offline
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Default Re: Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark, 3

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark, 1

As a boy I was raised in a community of female led families in Denmark in the 1970s.

My mother and her female friends belonged to the Women's Liberation Front - in Denmark called Rød¸Strømperne (Red Stockings) - who was a far left movement with focus on the emancipation of women and the abolishment of the patriarchal society. Some of those Red Stockings even dreamed of creating a Matriarchy, and tried to realize this dream in their own small communities. Just as other peoples on the danish left wing at the same time tried to create a socialist society in Christiania in Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark.


As a believer in feminism and female superiority, my mother refused to be bound to a man by marriage or otherwise. Therefore she had different lovers, who never lived with us. And my beloved sister Ida, who was three years younger than me, and I had different fathers. They didn't live with us, and we never spoke of them. My mother and her group of Red Stocking friends had moved into the countryside, where the houses were very cheap, and where they could live an undisturbed life. There were between 12 to 15 women (many newcomers came, and a few moved out) with their girls and boys, living in houses relative close to one another. Only a few of those women lived with a permanent male partner. The others had changing lovers, or preferred to live alone with their children as my mother did.


As I mentioned, the women believed strongly in female superiority, and so did their daughters. The same did we boys, because so we had been told by our mothers, and, I must add, in a loving and caring way.

My mother demanded, that in the summer time I should only wear briefs when at home or around our house.
Boys are stronger than girls, she said, and they therefore have to do the hard work, which makes them sweat, and therefore they better be naked. And right she was, because when we older boys between 13-16 years on a hot summer day were working in the fields or in the orchards, which the women of our community owned in common (they were feminist and socialist), our bodies were covered with sweat. (All the other boys also just wore briefs in the summer time, because this was the rule of the women. Also the men were shirtless in the hot period).


Although my name is Tjeik, I was often by the other children called by my nickname "the Indian" because of my tanned skin and my long black hair (all the other boys also had long hair at that time).
This made me somehow feel better with my nudity during the summer days, because the Indians were a kind of role models or ideals for me as I saw them as freedom fighters in their struggle against the white settlers. Nevertheless I must admit, that it was a bit humiliating to have to be naked, except for my briefs, most of the summer. Even on pretty cold summer days I wasn't allowed any other clothing than the briefs, because my mother thought that this would harden me and make me more healthy. Perhaps she was right, cause I was almost never ill.

Especially embarrassing it was to be almost naked, perhaps, because the girls always were fully clothed. They wore very beautiful and expensive dresses and skirts. Expensive not measured in money (the girls dresses were cheap), but measured in the time consume that went with creating them. Our moms themselves knitted their daughters clothing in a special knitting, which was very popular in Denmark at the time, called "hønsestrik". (Link: hoensestrik - Bing images . Danish "høne" means "hen" in English).

These bright and colourful dresses that the women and girls were wearing, were very beautiful, I think.

On the other hand neither the women nor the girls wore cosmetics of any kind. That was considered "reactionary" and "capitalistic", and therefore banished from our community.

But the humble feeling of being naked among the well dressed girls was alleviated by the girls themselves. They seldom teased us boys with our nudity during the summer time (but of course, sometimes they did, girls will be girls), but instead complimented us with how much we had grown and how much stronger we seemed to be compared to the last time they saw us all naked the previous summer. Those women and girls, although they were in charge of their men and boys, were by no means wicked or evil. Of course some of the girls sometimes abused their power, but that was rather the exception than the rule.




Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark, 2

As I told in my previous post, most of the women in the group of about 12-15, and later much more, leftist feminist women, who in the 1970s had bought cheap houses (or rather cottages) and land in the countryside on the danish island Zealand, took changing lovers - as did my mom - so as not to be dependent on a man, but also, I think, because "free love" was the trend of that time among young people, who considered themselves to be progressive. Therefore the women and mothers of our group were the all important persons in our small community, on whom we depended and on whose guidance we children always could count.

Together with the fact, that all of these women were strong believers in Female Superiority, and transmitted this view to their daughters and sons, I think that the fact that the women, who owned everything, because they had founded the community, were always there, whereas most of the men, whom they took as their lovers, came and went, to a considerable degree contributed to make it possibly for our mothers to create that kind of matriarchal society that they dreamed of, or perhaps even made it inevitable.

Now as I think about it, an interesting fact was, that although most of the women in our community were in their middle or late thirties, their lovers always were considerable younger than them, often in the middle, or even beginning, of their twenties. Perhaps women with power prefer young men, in the same way as men with power often prefer young women?

Only three or four of the women of our group had permanent male partners, and as already said my mother was not among them.

My mother named me Tjeik, which is not a danish name, because when she was pregnant with me, she read a book wherein there was a boy named Tjeik. She thought that the name was cute, and therefore she named me thus. Three years later my mom had a daughter with another of her lovers, and I got a sister, our dear Ida, who has black hair as do I. We have it from our mother, who was also dark haired.

So there was no dad around in our home to comment on the rule of the Women-Meeting (all decisions were made by the women in common at their meetings, which were very frequent), that all boys and males had to be naked during the summertime (from around the end of may to the middle of august, depending on the weather), except for small briefs for the boys, and shorts for the men.

The only exception was when we went to school in the nearby village. Then we wore t-shirts and shorts, but changed to briefs when we came home. In the summer holidays, which in Denmark at that time lasted for seven weeks, we boys seldom wore anything else than only our briefs. We were not forbidden to wear shoes, and we occasionally wore sandals. But most of the time we went bare-footed, and so did the girls.

Sometimes the girls also preferred to be naked, That was when they bathed in the nearby lake or in the small river running through the wood some distance away, or when they were sun bathing.

But then we boys were strictly forbidden to come near the girls or to peep on them.

This was to protect their modesty, we were told, something that the girls and their mothers were almost hysterical about, as it seemed to us boys.

I remember a case, where a boy was severely punished because he accidentally saw some of our girls when they were bathing naked in the river, as he was strolling through the wood. That he did not do it on purpose did not help him.

It's clear that you can talk of unfair double standards here, but perhaps the girl's and their mother's wish to protect the modesty of girls at all cost was caused by an age old deep rooted fear among girls and women of being raped by a male assailant. That was what I thought back then.
To day I am not so sure. Perhaps their Female Superiority ideology was another motivation for the women and their daughters to be so strict about boy's and men's respect for girls modesty?
A kind of psychological warfare in the battle between the sexes, so to speak?


What did we boys think about all this, you may ask?


Well, in a good, well functioning family a child is brought up to honer and respect the values of her or his family. And that what we as children from early on are familiar with, and told to believe in, mostly seems quite natural to us.

We boys and the males who lived with the women in our community always had to do the hardest work, because we were stronger than the girls. Therefore we had to be naked in the summertime, because hard work produces a lot of sweat. That was our moms rational explanation, which I believe to be true. And put to work we certainly were, because our moms were not rich, and they had self sufficiency as their ideal, opponents of the patriarchal capitalist system as they all were.

Of cause the girls also worked. I think they worked almost as much as we boys, but their duties were centered at the home: They did most of the domestic work, they cooked, our moms taught them how to make clothes, and they were tending the gardens, while we boys and the men worked in the orchards and in the fields, which the women owned in common, because this work was considered to demand more muscle strength than work in a house garden.


It was also customary in our community that when the eldest girl in a family reached the age of 13 or 14 years, then her mom would give her authority over her brothers, if she had any, regardless if they may be older than her. Because, as it was said, even a young teenage girl is much more mature than a boy of even 18 or 19 years. Then the sister acted as her mothers substitute, who had to delegate work to her brothers, supervise their work, and if necessary punish them in the same way that she had seen her mom do. It was a privilege for the girl, of which she naturally was very proud, but it was also a responsibility.

As I wrote in my previous post, girls are not wicked or evil. The girls knew that they were superior to us boys, so why should they need further confirmation of this fact by teasing or humiliating us?

Most of us boys were kind of embarrassed the first one or two weeks of our "naked time" during the summer, but after that we more or less got used to it. And remember: The grown up men were naked too. And our long hair and sun tanned skin made us look like indians, a fact I was pleased with.
I remember for instance how Larissa, a girl a year younger than I, one year on a day in the beginning of summer with a kind smile told me, that we boys were handsome both with and without clothes.
I am sure that she said it because she sensed my embarrassment of being naked beside her as she stood there in her beautiful dress.

Of course some of the girls would tease us. It just did not happen very often. But occasionally some of the younger girls would try to tickle us around our belly button and around our nipples or under our armpits to make us laugh, or even better - for them, not for us - to provoke our penis to stiffen in our briefs, which resulted in a excessive giggling among the girls when they saw the bulge forming in our briefs, which was an embarrassing experience for the boy (I was also subjected to this treatment at the hands of a couple of young girls a few times), while the girl, who had made it happen, proudly and gleefully received applause from her girlfriends.
But the girls did very seldom try to pull our briefs down, and only one girl, whose name was Hanne, was known and feared by us boys as a girl who would kick boys in the balls, but even she only did it when she had a fight with a boy. (With she often had, because she was a tough rowdy and bullying girl).

As a teenage boy I only once was sexually assaulted by a girl. It was by Hanne. It was an unpleasant experience, but I don't think Hanne was a mean girl. She just was badly brought up.




Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark, 3

I want to tell a bit more about Hanne, who was a girl of my own age, and her quite extraordinary family, which was one of the founding families of our community. Or perhaps I should better say, that Hanne's and her brother's mother, whose name was Clara, was among the original founders of the community, because as I have told in previous post all property was owned by the women in common.


Hanne had two brothers: Martin, who was one year older than Hanne and me, and Peter, who was about two years younger than Hanne.


Hannes mother Clara was one of the few feminist women of our community, who lived with the same male partner throughout the years. His name was Morten, and although they were not married (our feminist mothers considered marriage to be a patriarchal institution), I believe that Morten was the father of all of the children. But I am not sure.


What made Hanne's family special, even in our Female Led Community, was the parent's very unjust treatment of their children.


Hanne was a tall and strong girl. She clearly was what in English is called a tomboy, and she always bullied her brothers around: She made them do most of her tasks in the house and in the garden, which meant, that in addition to their own work duties and their schoolwork Martin and Peter rarely had some spare time. And if they didn't do what she ordered them to do, she slapped them in the face, or even kicked them in their testicles.


Naturally the parents knew all this - we all did - but they did not interfere. Which of cause was contrary to our common ideal, that although girls were considered to be superior to boys, they should not misuse their superiority in any way, and they of course were expected to work as we boys were, and not let their brothers do their work for them.


This was bad enough, but it was not the worst thing for the boys in that family:


What Hanne's brothers resented the most, was the sad fact, that every time at Christmas or at birthdays Hanne was given expensive gifts by the parents, whereas her brothers only got some plates of chocolate, some cakes and things like that. This unfair treatment of her brothers I already then found outrageous, and so did my mom.

Although my sister Ida was superior to me, our mom loved me every bit as much as she loved Ida. Ida never let me do her work, and at Christmas and at our birthdays we both became gifts of equal value. And so it was in all the other households of our community, as far as I know.

I really could not understand, why Morten, the children's father, did not protest. But he never did. Perhaps he didn't dare, but I am more inclined to believe that he thought that it was right to let Hanna be the princess of the house, with no restrictions or duties what so ever.


As Hanne was the princess in her own home, she was the queen among the girls. She almost always was surrounded by an entourage of younger girls, who admired her.


She often sought to put up a fight with us boys. But only with boys of her own age or older. This she did to impress her admires among the girls, I think.


She often picked on me to provoke me into a fight, which was very annoying because of her bad habit of kicking boys in the testicles. But we boys, who risked to be attacked by Hanne, was of cause prepared for this, so she seldom managed to hit her target.

Although we boys normally were strictly forbidden to hit a girl, of cause we defended ourself if attacked by a girl like Hanne, and none of our moms objected to that.

Although Hanne was very strong for a girl of her age when she was 14-15 years old, I always managed to beat her or to chase her away. I remember one winter day, where Hanne and her girlfriends attacked my friend Knud and me with snowballs. Knud said, that we better should go away, because he was afraid of Hanne, but I took up the fight, and finally it was Hanne who left. But this only provoked Hanne to act ever more challenging towards me, and on a hot summer day the next year my luck was out.


I think I have to tell what happened, even if it was humiliating for me, because I think it tells something about Hanne's character.

It as always was she who started the fight by provoking me and trying to make me ridiculous before her female friends, but as I was about to get a hold on her and bring her down, she managed to grip me by my long hair and pull my head backwards, and she swiftly used my moment of distraction to grip me by my testicles and squeeze them with full force. I of cause moaned and bent over. Immediately she pushed me to the ground, and the next moment she was straddling my chest, pinning my arms down. While her girlfriends shouted with joy, she began tickling me around my belly bottom, which made me laugh, despite the pain in my testicles.

It was one of the worst days in my life, as I lay naked and defeated beneath Hanne, yet laughing because she made me to. And I was sure, that she would now pull my briefs down as her ultimate humiliation of me. (Of cause I had no erection. You don't have an erection with painful testicles).

But Hanne did no such thing. Instead she asked me, if I would surrender, and when I said yes, she immediately got of me and rose, and she even shooked my hand and said, that it had been a god fight.

This proves, I think, that Hanne's wish was not so much to humiliate me, but rather to show her girlfriends how brave and strong she was.

And now, when Hanne at long last had defeated me (although only once), she never tried to provoke me again. Now she seemed to respect me, and I also began reluctantly to respect her. When we played "nybyggere og indianere" (white settlers and indians), Hanne and me and some of the other boys of our age would meet beforehand to determine the rules of the game, where and when it should take place and so on.

(We boys with our long hair and sun tanned bodies of course always were the indians, and the girls were the white settlers).


But as the years passed by, and Hanne became a young woman, things went very bad for her.


It is a very sad story. Her eldest brother Martin had already moved to Copenhagen to escape his sister's bullying when he was just 17 years old, and there he had got a job as an apprentice, while he lived by some friends of his in the city.

Many years later I by chance meet Martin, and he told me, that Hanne later on also had moved to Copenhagen. She didn't have a husband, although she had had many boyfriend. But they all left her after a short while, because they could not put up with a young woman, who because of her upbringing was so self centered as Hanne was. And because she was not used to work, but to have her brothers to work for her, Hanne could not hold on to a job, and so she was unemployed for long periods of time. She ended up as an alcoholic and a drug addict, Martin told.


Her brothers on the other hand did well in later life.


As I said, it is a very sad story, and I really feel bad for Hanne. I do not think that Hanne was a mean girl, her selfishness and her tough character were the results of a bad upbringing without limits for her.


Her fate therefore ought to be a warning to some of those who discuss Female Led Relationships on Internet forums, who say that they raise their daughters in much the same way that Hanne was raised. (Although much of it may be exaggerations).


By the way, Hanne was the only girl, who once did pull my briefs down: It was a month or so after she and I had had our last fight, and we were now on pretty good terms, as I have told. On a late afternoon when I was sitting in the backyard of our house and was working on something, Hanne came along and sat down besides me. We talked for a while, but suddenly she pushed me back, and then she pulled my briefs down without asking or saying anything. But Hanne always did what she wanted to do, and took what she wanted to take. She made me have an erection, and she forcefully pulled my foreskin back, which was very unpleasant for me. I didn't protest or try to defend myself out of fear that she would squeeze my testicles, which she hold in one of her hands. She let my testicles roll through her fingers, but she did not squeeze them. After a while she left me without saying a word. So perhaps she just did it out of curiosity. Or perhaps she did it in order to demonstrate her female superiority over me. Or a combination of both. But at least she was considerate enough to do it without any witnesses. But all the same it was an unpleasant experience for me, although it might be an exaggeration to say, that I was sexually assaulted by Hanne.

In the evening I found out, that my mom had seen it from our house. Hanne seems to like you, she said with a smile. But I answered, that Hanne was certainly not my girlfriend.


But the next year, when Hanne and me were 16 years old, we really had became friends.

Hanne was not my girlfriend in a sexual way. Actually I still never had had sexual intercourse with a girl, but that same summer Hanne would change that.

I was together with some of my boyfriends in our spare time on a hot summer day. We were sitting in the wood, talking, when Hanne came by and joined us. When the other boys left, Hanne and me remained seated and continued to talk with each other.

Then suddently Hanne, without asking me, pushed me on my back, pulled my briefs down and tickled my penis into an erection, which of cause did not take her long.

She then lifted up in her long dress, pulled her panties down, and placed herself on my erected male member.

Her movements gave me an enjoyable feeling, and she clearly enjoyed it to. From time to time she squeezed my testicles and pinched my erected penis at its base to make my erection subside, in order to avoid me ejaculating inside her. I of cause warned her beforehand when I could feel that an ejaculation was nearing, like my mom had told me to do if I had sexual intercourse with a girl, so that she did not got pregnant. Then Hanne would tickle my penis into another erection, and so it went on, until Hanne was satisfied, and she got of me.

I of cause still had an erection, but Hanne now masturbated me into a very forceful ejaculation, so that I got semen all over by chest and stomach. I felt exhausted, but it was a very extraordinary and good feeling.

Hanne smiled, and gave me some leaves from the forest floor to dry myself up with.


After that I for several month was Hanne's boyfriend. During that time I more than once tried to persuade her to stop bullying her brothers around and treat them in a more fair way, but she wouldn't discuss that matter. Each time she gave me a stinging slap to my face and said, that "det rager ikke dig". ("It's not your business"). She eventually got tiered of me, and found another boyfriend - Hanne always got tiered of her boyfriends - but we still were friends.

Therefore I also feel so sad for what happened to her in her later life.

Last edited by Tjeik; 13-Jun-21 at 17:56.
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Old 14-Jun-21, 14:28
Tjeik Tjeik is offline
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Default Re: Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark, 4

As a man who grew up in a Female Led Community I from time to time have read about Female Led Family life in various Internet forums, driven by curiosity. But I soon found out, that many of the descriptions in some of these forums of Female Superiority and Female Led Families don't match my own experiences, to put it mildly.


I have often read stories of wifes, who spank their men and sons on the slightest occasion. Or stories of moms and sisters, who on a weekly or even daily basis kick their sons or brothers in their testicles, and treat them in the most humiliating ways, bordering on torture. Of course much of all this may be imagination or exaggeration, but even if it is, it is not good, because women and girls do NOT deserve to be described as evil or wicked persons, who in some cases (if true) are almost monsters.


At least it is not my experience, that girls and women with power turn into bad human beings. And to stress this fact is my reason to write about my upbringing in a Female Led Community.


Our mother, my dear little sister Ida and I all slept in the same room (our house was not a big house): Ida and I slept in an old, large double bed, while mother slept in a single bed which stood opposite to our bed. I always slept naked, while Ida and mom wore their night gown.


As I grew older and became a teenager, my mother more often than before taught Ida and me about the fact of Female Superiority, always ending with emphasizing, that although Ida was three years younger than me, she all the same was vastly superior to me.

Well, although I accepted what our mom told us, the suggestion that my little sister should be not only superior, but vastly superior to me, always embarrassed me, and made me blush. I often tried to argue, that considering the age difference between us, Ida and I were equals.
But our mom only smiled, and said, that "there is no such thing as equality between sisters and brothers". ("Der er aldrig lighed mellem søstre og brødre", as she said in Danish). So it was for a while, until on day in the summer holidays, when I was 14, and Ida was 11 year old.


A group of German feminist were then visiting us, and they were not only feminist, but also, as it turned out, strong believers in the existence of ancient and contemporary Matriarchies, and ardent supporters of Goddess worship. In fact the visit of these German women started what I would call the Matriarchal and Goddess Worship fascination among the women of our community.


One early evening during this summer our mother came back home in a quite elated mood from a Woman Meeting, where the German women had told their Danish friends, how easy it was to demonstrate and prove, that any girl is superior to any boy.
Our mom then ordered Ida and me to stand up, and face each other. This we did, and now mom said, that we should look each other straight into the eyes. To lower one's eyes would be a clear sign of recognition of the other person's superiority. And mom added, that she was very sure that I would have to lower my eyes before Ida, thereby recognizing her as vastly superior to me.

As mom had said, it turned out:

As much as I tried not to, in the end I could not stand up to Ida gazing me right in my eyes, and I looked down, admitting her superiority, as mother triumphantly said.
I thought it might just be a coincident, and at my insist we tried the look in the eyes contest again and again and again and again, but Ida won every time.
My growing humiliation was causing my penis to grow considerably in my briefs, and a big bulge was hastily forming. Ida giggled, and asked mom why my dick was getting stiff ("pik" is the danish slang word which Ida used), and mom replied that this was a sign from my body beyond my control, whereby I in fact admitted, that any girl was superior to me. I then gave up, admitted defeat, and felt utterly humiliated.


Now the whole point of my experience, and the reason why I am telling it here, is Ida's reaction, because it tells me something of girls, that do not correspond with most of what is written of girls in many of the forums dealing with the theme Female Superiority which I have read:


That night I felt very embarrassed as I lay together with my little sister, whom I always had loved, in our big double bed. My feeling of humiliation caused me to have a throbbing erection, which I occasionally had in the mornings (which mother said was completely normal), and although we lay covered under a big blanket, Ida of course could not help noticing my erection, and she also guessed the cause. But she didn't tease me. Quite the contrary: She hugged me, and told me not to mind that she was superior to me, because I was still much stronger than her. Much stronger, as she emphasized.

Her loving reaction made me realize, not only that Ida really WAS superior to me, but also and foremost, that this was nothing for me to be ashamed about. Next morning I told mom, that I didn't mind being inferior to Ida, because she would always be my dear little sister. Then mom hugged us both, and nothing more was spoken of this matter.


As to how boys and girls in our Female Led Community were punished, I first have to say, that we boys were never spanked. Never ever. To spank a child was considered reactionary by all the women.
Girls who misbehaved was reprimanded with stern words, and we boys were likewise scolded, but the scolding of a boy was always followed up with one or two slaps to his face. And it really hurt, when I was receiving a face slapping from my mother.

If my sister was present when my mom was punishing me, and it was in the summer time, where I only wore my briefs, as a teenage boy my embarrassment often caused me to have an erection, which always made my sister giggle, although she tried not to. My mother in her irritation would then pull my briefs down, and squeeze my testicles, which was very painful. My penis instantly went soft, and then I could pull my briefs up again. I never had corner time (we didn't know the concept), and when my punishment was over, it WAS over.

Like all girls, my sister was never hit when she was scolded, but I think this double standard was fair, because my sister was always very sad long after mother had reprimanded her, although I always tried to cheer her up the best I could. Her punishment obvious had a deeper effect on her, than the harsher punishment I was receiving had on me.
I thought back then, that this difference had something to do with the superiority of the girls. They felt everything on a much deeper level as did we boys.


Last but not least I will point to something of great importance, and that is what my mother and the other women meant when they said, that girls like my sister Ida were vastly superior to boys. As Ida was so nice to point out for me in her effort to comfort me, I of course was stronger than her, but even young girls in their teen or even preteen years were considered more mature than boys, and therefore mentally and intellectually superior. That was what these feminist women meant when they said, that girls were vastly superior to boys.


You do not need to be a feminist to agree with that, I believe.


But my mother and her female friends also believed, that a girl always should be morally superior to a boy, which meant, that a truly superior girl never ought to use her mental and intellectual superiority to harm or humiliate a boy. Exactly as we boys were strictly forbidden to hit a girl, or in any way use our greater strength to harm them in any way.


As my mother always said, with superiority follows responsibility.



Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark, 5

As I saw it back then when I was a boy and a young adult, perhaps the best proof of any girls superiority over any boy was the look each other straight in the eye contest, which I have described in post 4, because it always ended with the boy inevitable had to lower his eyes before the girl, even if he might be much older than her, thereby recognizing her superiority. This method became very popular among our girls after the visit of the German feminists, of which I told in an earlier post.


We boys hated this contest, and the power it revealed that the girls had over our minds and bodies. Especially in the summer times, when we only wore our briefs, the starring eyes of a girl confronting us face to face often caused us an unwanted erection, thus proving that she controlled us.


It was a very strange feeling for me as a 16-17 year old teenage boy, that even a 12-13 year old girl could so easily control my bodily reactions.


Especially the more mature of the teenager girls preferred to prove their dominance in this way, because this was a pure mental contest, in which the stronger willed person would win. And the girls always won the eye to eye contest, which often caused the loosing boy to have a involuntary erection, clearly visible as a growing bulge in his briefs.
I can of my own experience tell, that this was a great embarrassment for us boys, because we obviously for all to see not only lost the control over our own body, but the control over our mind and body went to the girl, who made us to have the unwanted erection. But of cause it gave the girl a very powerful felling, and we all knew that.


I would like to emphasize, that the above mentioned by no means happened on a daily basis. But it did happen now and then, and of course the adults sometimes saw it.


But the women just smiled. They clearly thought that if a girl caused a boy to have an unwanted erection it was just a confirmation of her female superiority, and that the girl only used the female powers that were rightfully hers.
The adult men on the other side seemed to be embarrassed if they witnessed such a situation. They often tried to look the other way and went away.


Often a girl, who wanted to buy some chocolate or candies from the candy store in the village, or whom her mother had told to go to the village to buy something at the grocery store, or at the baker's or at the butcher's store, would ask me, or another of us boys, to do it for her in our spare time. Because the girls were our friends, I often did it gladly, but sometimes I wanted to do something else, and then I said no.
The girl would then look me straight in my eyes with a insisting gaze while she was saying: "Oh please, please do". As soon as I could feel my penis starting to stiffen, I always gave in to the girl and said "yes, I'll do it", in order to avoid her seeing a full erection making a bulge in my briefs. But the girls always afterward rewarded us with a piece of chocolate or some candies for our help.


But is all this really a proof that every girl is superior to every boy?


Of this I was convinced in my boyhood, and also long after.

But today I am not so sure.


Please remember, that in our community all girls were taught by their mothers from early on, that they were superior to us boys. And we boys were told to respect and obey the girls, because we were inferior to them. Therefore our girls naturally had a lot of self confidence, and I wonder if it was this upbringing that caused the girls always to win the look at each other eye to eye contest? Could it be a reflection of our upbringing, rather than a proof of every girl's superiority over any boy?

Or to put the question otherwise: Would that same contest produce the same result - the girls winning every time - among girls and boys who are not living in a Female Led Community like ours?

Today I don't think so.


It is a fact, that young children are very easy to form according to the religious or ideological or otherwise ideas of the adults surrounding them. I could also say, that children are easy to manipulate.


If you expect a child to be clever and bright, that child will normally try to fulfill your expectations. And if you consider a child to be more or less worthless, and treat the child accordingly, that child most probably will end up felling herself or himself to be worthless.


We boys were absolutely not considered to be worthless by our mothers, but the prevailing female centered ideology of our small group certainly gave us strong feelings of inferiority towards girls.


Today I think, that the gaze test only showed, that we children - boys and girls alike - acted as the adults expected us to act. In Danish we call it "en cirkeslutning" ("circular conclusion"). In English I think you call it "begging the question".


But I don't blame our feminist mothers. Life has taught me, that it is very common for people with strong ideological or religious beliefs to do everything in their power to prove the truth of their beliefs, and to interpret almost everything in the world in accordance with their beliefs.


And I will emphasize, that much good came out of our Feminist Superiority upbringing, both for the girls, who became very self confident, and learned to take responsibility and to care for others (because that was what a superior person was supposed to do), and for us boys, who as young adults were very popular among young women, because we always respected them and always put their needs before our own, just as our mothers had taught us to do. And in our community it was strictly forbidden for children, girls and boys alike, to smoke, which also was a wise ruling of our mothers. We were allowed to drink beer, but not so much that we got drunk.


All kinds of pornography were also banned among us, because our mothers regarded it as a disgusting capitalistic and patriarchal exploitation of women. I still agree with that view. Our girls never used cosmetic, and because of that they looked natural and were beautiful. So we boys didn't need, and didn't want, pornography.


In our Female Led Community the women upheld the rather old fashioned rule, that it was strictly forbidden for us boys to masturbate. As I was a teenage boy my mother gave my little sister Ida the task to watch over that I did not masturbate during the night. (We sleept together in an old big double bed).
Masturbation was a punishable offence, because a masturbating boy risked losing some of his strength to work and ability to concentrate, our mother told Ida and me. And if a boy had a girlfriend, it would make his girlfriend really mad if she suspected him of having the nasty habit of masturbation, because it proved, that the boy did not really respect the girl, who ought to be the sole focus of his sexual energy.


Nocturnal ejaculations, caused by wet dreams, on the other hand, were never punished. And of cause not, because this was only normal, as our mother said, and something that every boy had from time to time.

s I saw it back then when I was a boy and a young adult, perhaps the best proof of any girls superiority over any boy was the look each other straight in the eye contest, which I have described in post 4, because it always ended with the boy inevitable had to lower his eyes before the girl, even if he might be much older than her, thereby recognizing her superiority. This method became very popular among our girls after the visit of the German feminists, of which I told in an earlier post.


We boys hated this contest, and the power it revealed that the girls had over our minds and bodies. Especially in the summer times, when we only wore our briefs, the starring eyes of a girl confronting us face to face often caused us an unwanted erection, thus proving that she controlled us.


It was a very strange feeling for me as a 16-17 year old teenage boy, that even a 12-13 year old girl could so easily control my bodily reactions.


Especially the more mature of the teenager girls preferred to prove their dominance in this way, because this was a pure mental contest, in which the stronger willed person would win. And the girls always won the eye to eye contest, which often caused the loosing boy to have a involuntary erection, clearly visible as a growing bulge in his briefs.
I can of my own experience tell, that this was a great embarrassment for us boys, because we obviously for all to see not only lost the control over our own body, but the control over our mind and body went to the girl, who made us to have the unwanted erection. But of cause it gave the girl a very powerful felling, and we all knew that.


I would like to emphasize, that the above mentioned by no means happened on a daily basis. But it did happen now and then, and of course the adults sometimes saw it.


But the women just smiled. They clearly thought that if a girl caused a boy to have an unwanted erection it was just a confirmation of her female superiority, and that the girl only used the female powers that were rightfully hers.
The adult men on the other side seemed to be embarrassed if they witnessed such a situation. They often tried to look the other way and went away.


Often a girl, who wanted to buy some chocolate or candies from the candy store in the village, or whom her mother had told to go to the village to buy something at the grocery store, or at the baker's or at the butcher's store, would ask me, or another of us boys, to do it for her in our spare time. Because the girls were our friends, I often did it gladly, but sometimes I wanted to do something else, and then I said no.
The girl would then look me straight in my eyes with a insisting gaze while she was saying: "Oh please, please do". As soon as I could feel my penis starting to stiffen, I always gave in to the girl and said "yes, I'll do it", in order to avoid her seeing a full erection making a bulge in my briefs. But the girls always afterward rewarded us with a piece of chocolate or some candies for our help.


But is all this really a proof that every girl is superior to every boy?


Of this I was convinced in my boyhood, and also long after.

But today I am not so sure.


Please remember, that in our community all girls were taught by their mothers from early on, that they were superior to us boys. And we boys were told to respect and obey the girls, because we were inferior to them. Therefore our girls naturally had a lot of self confidence, and I wonder if it was this upbringing that caused the girls always to win the look at each other eye to eye contest? Could it be a reflection of our upbringing, rather than a proof of every girl's superiority over any boy?

Or to put the question otherwise: Would that same contest produce the same result - the girls winning every time - among girls and boys who are not living in a Female Led Community like ours?

Today I don't think so.


It is a fact, that young children are very easy to form according to the religious or ideological or otherwise ideas of the adults surrounding them. I could also say, that children are easy to manipulate.


If you expect a child to be clever and bright, that child will normally try to fulfill your expectations. And if you consider a child to be more or less worthless, and treat the child accordingly, that child most probably will end up felling herself or himself to be worthless.


We boys were absolutely not considered to be worthless by our mothers, but the prevailing female centered ideology of our small group certainly gave us strong feelings of inferiority towards girls.


Today I think, that the gaze test only showed, that we children - boys and girls alike - acted as the adults expected us to act. In Danish we call it "en cirkeslutning" ("circular conclusion"). In English I think you call it "begging the question".


But I don't blame our feminist mothers. Life has taught me, that it is very common for people with strong ideological or religious beliefs to do everything in their power to prove the truth of their beliefs, and to interpret almost everything in the world in accordance with their beliefs.


And I will emphasize, that much good came out of our Feminist Superiority upbringing, both for the girls, who became very self confident, and learned to take responsibility and to care for others (because that was what a superior person was supposed to do), and for us boys, who as young adults were very popular among young women, because we always respected them and always put their needs before our own, just as our mothers had taught us to do. And in our community it was strictly forbidden for children, girls and boys alike, to smoke, which also was a wise ruling of our mothers. We were allowed to drink beer, but not so much that we got drunk.


All kinds of pornography were also banned among us, because our mothers regarded it as a disgusting capitalistic and patriarchal exploitation of women. I still agree with that view. Our girls never used cosmetic, and because of that they looked natural and were beautiful. So we boys didn't need, and didn't want, pornography.


In our Female Led Community the women upheld the rather old fashioned rule, that it was strictly forbidden for us boys to masturbate. As I was a teenage boy my mother gave my little sister Ida the task to watch over that I did not masturbate during the night. (We sleept together in an old big double bed).
Masturbation was a punishable offence, because a masturbating boy risked losing some of his strength to work and ability to concentrate, our mother told Ida and me. And if a boy had a girlfriend, it would make his girlfriend really mad if she suspected him of having the nasty habit of masturbation, because it proved, that the boy did not really respect the girl, who ought to be the sole focus of his sexual energy.


Nocturnal ejaculations, caused by wet dreams, on the other hand, were never punished. And of cause not, because this was only normal, as our mother said, and something that every boy had from time to time.

Last edited by Tjeik; 14-Jun-21 at 14:28.
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Old 14-Jun-21, 19:15
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Default Re: Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark, 6

I will try to tell a bit more about how our Female led Community was organized, and the effects it had on us boys and on our dear sisters, who grew up in this small community.


A rather strange effect that our Female led upbringing had on us boys was, that we at times tended to be quite belligerent and violent.
When we became friends with the boys from our nearby village, we always helped them if they had quarrels and fights with boys from other villages, and we really liked to do it. Although we normally were well behaved, when I look back I think that we boys could be quite violent, if we were provoked, or if our friends were provoked. Or even worse:

If someone tried to provoke, or did not respect, our girls. Then there would surely flow blood. The blood of the disrespectful. And perhaps also our own blood, but we didn't care much about our own pain.
I think that the explanation for this violent tendency among us - although it only showed up if we or someone we cared for were provoked or attacked - should be sought in our Female Led upbringing.
Therefore I have to tell a bit more about this.


As I have told, the women who had founded our community owned everything in common. They were strong believers in collectivism and women solidarity, and that meant, that if one of the mothers had financial troubles, the other women always would lent her money. Or they simply gave her money, or helped her in other ways.
As leftist feminist, who gradually came to believe in Goddess inspired spirituality, our mothers considered motherhood to be something almost holy, and they didn't approve of abortion. (This was a very uncommon attitude on the left wing in Denmark back in the 1970s).

Although most of our mothers were well educated, and many were academics, their high evaluation of motherhood meant, that they did not want to have a full-time job as long as their children were in their preteen years. If they had a lover, or even better a permanent male partner, he of cause would have a paid job outside our community, but we all lived a very frugal life, trying to be as self sufficient as we could.
(Our moms and sisters for instance made much of our clothes, especially the girls clothes, in what was called hønsestrik. Later on they even sold their beautiful hønsestrik clothes to the people in the surrounding villages, in order to earn some money).

But when the eldest daughter of a household came of age - that meant when she was a young teenage girl of 13 or 14 years - her mother would try to find a full-time job (which often was quite easy back then), leaving her teenage daughter to be her substitute when she herself and her male partner were at work, with the right and duty to delegate the day's work to her sisters and brothers, and with full authority to even punish her brothers if need be.
This our moms did, because they rightly thought, that girls are more mature than are boys, and therefore they were vastly superior to us, as we were always told. And because the girls spent their working time at home together with our moms, they exactly knew how our moms used to delegate the different tasks to the sisters and brothers in a fair way. And as the girls were the heiresses, assuming responsibility when acting as their mothers substitutes was a kind of training them for their future life. So our mothers thought.

In order to tell how this worked in practice, I will use my own little family as an example:

When my dear little sister Ida turned 13, and thus became a young teenage girl - I was 16 years old at the time - we had a great birthday party for her in our house where a lot of girls and boys from our community and from the nearby village were present.
Ida was born on the 2. of June, so it was a nice and warm summer day. We played white settlers and Indians, and I remember that we boys - the Indians - won the war game on that day.
But after the children had left us in the early evening hours, our mom summoned Ida and me in the living room, and told us, that she had got a full-time job at the University in Copenhagen, and that she would start working there after the summer holidays. From time to time our mother had had past-time jobs, but most of the time she had stayed at home with us children.
But now, mom said, Ida was old enough to assume responsibility and take over the leading role in our house due to her new status as a teenage girl and act as mom's substitute when she was away from home. From now on I would have to obey Ida as I had obeyed herself, mom said, and Ida was authorized to punish me in the same way as mom used to do, if necessary.
I didn't like to hear that. I blushed, and in my feeling of embarrassment I could even fell that an erection was starting to form in my briefs.
But then I noticed how proud and happy Ida looked, and that made me feel happy for her. I actually hogged her and congratulated her, and this sign of accept from my part clearly was the right thing to do, because my sense of embarrassment almost disappeared.


As you might have guessed, Ida never misused her power. She worked every bit as hard as me, and she very rarely punished me with a slap to my face. When she did, her face slapping really stung, but she only did it on rare occasions, where I certainly deserved it. (As a teenage boy, I sometimes could be quite lazy, I must admit).
That my sister Ida was in charge when mom was away from home also meant, that Ida had the full responsibility for everything that happened. If mom came home, and something was not done to her satisfaction, it was always Ida, never me, who was reprimanded by our mother. Even if I also somehow was to blame, it was always Ida whom mom hold responsible, because she had the been given the female authority.
It often made life easier for me than for Ida, I think. But it of cause also strengthened in me the feeling of inferiority towards Ida and all other girls.

I am pretty sure, that the Female Led conditions of our daily life was the reason, why we boys could be really violent if we were in a fight, especially if some of our girls were present. Because then we had a chance to show our courage and strength to the girls, and earn their admiration. Here we, not the girls, were superior.
In our late teenage years, when we were between 16 and 19 years old, we sometimes took the train to Copenhagen to visit Christiania or go to a disco to have some fun.
We always had some of our girls of our own age with us, and our moms always told us to look after the girls (passe godt på pigerne), because we were expected to protect them if necessary.
This made us very proud, and if some guys in Copenhagen didn't respect our girls, or tried to mop them, we certainly reacted, and often quite violently. Often the young guys in the Capital mistook us for hippies because of our long hair. But if they annoyed or provoked us, or even worse our girls, they soon found out, that we were not the soft hippie guys that they thought us to be.
That the roles between the girls and us boys somehow were reversed on our trips to Copenhagen, strengthened our self confidence. And we of cause enjoyed the admiration that our girls openly showed us in those kinds of situations.

So I don't think that boys raised in Female Led families automatically tend to be soft or pacifistic young men. In my experience quite the opposite.
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Old 18-Jun-21, 12:26
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Default Re: Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Thank you very much for this account!

Could you explain how this female superiority was explained to the community? You mentioned that girls were considered more mature, intellectually and morally superior but you did not go in details about how this superiority was demonstrated and explained.

You told us about the eyes contest but this proof alone seems very light to justify an entire system of belief. Or was this superiority considered self-evident with no need to prove it?
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Old 19-Jun-21, 13:19
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Default Re: Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

Dear Blamat

"Could you explain how this female superiority was explained to the community?", you ask.

It is a common observation, which I think most people will agree upon, that teenage girls on average tend to be more mature than teenage boys. The girls tend to be more responsible, they normally do better in school, they often are more empathic than the boys - all of this prove the intellectual and moral superiority of the girls, our mothers said - and the girls tend to be better than boys at establishing social relations.*
But our feminist moms also had other arguments which they often told us children about in order to prove that girls and females are superior to boys and men:

When Ida and me were children, we were always told, that competition, aggression and violent behavior are inevitable traits of the patriarchal society, which our moms resented, because males are born to be competitive, aggressive and tend to be more violent then girls normally are.*
Women on the other hand tend to be compassionate and caring, due to the fact that they in all traditional societies are the main child carers.
Today I think that this explanation perhaps may be a bit exaggerated, but back then I of cause believed in everything that my mom and the other moms in our Female Led Community said.

It was among other things to avoid the "typically male competitiveness", which according to their socialist world view had fostered the capitalist society, that our feminist mothers always insisted upon, that our community should remain strictly Female Led.
To insure this the woman founders of our community had decided, that among us all property should be owned by the women in common female solidarity, which meant unrestricted willingness among the female property owners to help each other, as I have explained.
Men were to be excluded from property ownership in order to avoid the competitive mentality, which our mothers thought to be inherent in boys and men.
All this may seem very idealistic or even odd for most people today, but you should not forget, that in the 1970s idealistic and even utopian ideas were very popular among many of the young people in Western Europe.

In later life I found out, that women can be quite competitive to. But Larissa and Ida, and my other female friends from my childhood, who still very much adhere to our old matriarchal ideology, insist on saying, that overtly competitive women just have taken over a patriarchal trait to survive in a male dominated society.
I don't know if this explanation is true - our women have an explanation of everything according to our Female Centered world view - but at least I know for sure, that our moms who founded our "little Matriarchy" did their outmost to live up to their ideals of limitless solidarity within their group.

Our moms conception of the difference between girls and boys is also reflected in the different ways they used to punish their daughters and sons:

I think that our mothers tried to punish their daughters and sons in a way we could understand. so to speak. And my wife Larissa, who have used the same punishing methods (although she seldom had to face slap our boys) confirms that.

When we boys in our small community quarreled - which we of cause sometimes did - we used to fight it out. We reacted physically. And as I have told, we could be quite belligerent when our friends from the nearby village or even worse our girls were moped or attacked by other young boys.
But when the fight was over, it was over. There seldom were bad feelings between us afterwards.

But when the girls quarreled among themselves, they never used physical force. They used the force of their words instead. They would form a clique, which by the use of slander excluded the girl or the girls, whom the clique members wished to punish.
It had a much graver effect for the girl victims, than the occasional fights between us boys had for us.
This has nothing to do with the Female Led character of our community, because so most boys and girls react everywhere, I think.

So our moms and teenage sisters punished us boys by use of force, if need be. Because we boys tended to be more unruly and immature than our sisters, and because this was the way we ourselves reacted when we were angry at someone. It was a language we boys could understand, so to speak.

Our sisters were punished by our moms with stern and shaming words, because it had the desired effect upon them.
I clearly remember how sorry Ida used to be long after, if mom had been angry with her and reprimanded her for something. I got a scolding and a slap to my face, and then it was over with. I didn't feel sorry for hours thereafter.

Of cause I do not want to say, that this is a better way to raise children than other methods are, whatever they may be. I only say, that so it was and still is among us.

As I already have told in my previous post, as a teenage boy it was really embarrassing for me when my mother told Ida and me, that Ida, although three year younger to me, was vastly superior to me, and that I would have to obey her when she became a teenage girl.
I often tried to argue against it, saying that according to the age difference between us we must be equals, and that did not upset our mother. She just smiled and said, that there is no such thing as equality between sisters and brothers.

The eyes contest, which I have told you about previously, finally convinced me that Ida really was vastly superior to me. And as told, it was a very humiliating experience for me.
But I must add, that the eyes contest had precisely the same effect upon all the other boys in our community: We always lost to the self confident superior girls.

You say about the eyes contest that "this proof alone seems very light to justify an entire system of belief".

I totally agree.

But as told we girls and boys in our Female Led Community had for years been told by our moms about Female Superiority.*
So the belief system existed beforehand, and when I look at it today, the fact that the girls always won the eyes contest was not a proof of our belief system, but a consequence of it already being deeply ingrained in us, girls and boys alike. Today I therefore would call the eyes contest a circular conclusion.

Back then however I was wholly convinced by this proof of girl superiority, and it made it easier for me to accept that I had to obey Ida as mom's substitute, and even be punished by her, as she became a teenage girl.

You may ask how I as a sixteen year old boy could accept this.
After all I was much stronger than my little sister.
I will answer that it has very much to do with the mutual respect, and sibling love, which existed between Ida and me.
Ida never misused her power. She was always fair to me, and she worked every bit as hard as I, although her chores were different from mine.
But with authority also follows responsibility. Ida soon learned this, as did all the other girls of her age in our Female Led Community.
I will give an example of this in the following post.
(Unfortunately the family of Hanne was an exception from this rule. Hanne was given full authority over her brothers without her having any responsibility, and as I have told it turned out very badly for her. And her brothers didn't continue the Female Led lifestyle).

Of cause giving their teenage daughters this kind of responsibility and authority over their brothers was also a way for our moms to prepare their daughters and sons for the different roles they intended us to have in their Female Led Community, if we as adult chose to stay there.*
Perhaps even the rule that we boys were only allowed to wear briefs in the summer time, and always had to sleep totally naked, whereas our moms and sisters wore night gowns, was a subtle way to remind us of our inferiority to the girls.
But I am not sure of this. In many non female led families boys and men sleep naked too, and women and girls do not. And although I never saw Ida naked after she was five or six years old, I never felt any kind of embarrassment to sleep naked beside her in our big double bed.*

It still is my conviction, that boys need to learn to respect girls and women from early on, because this respect is not inborn in young boys.
The many appalling revelations of men's abuse of women in the wake of the Me To Movement bear witness to this.

You may find it unjust that I on rare occasions were face slapped by my mother, and later on even by my dear little sister, as mom had delegated the Female authority to Ida when mom was absent.
But so it was in all households of our Female Led Community, and none - and I repeat NONE - of us boys raised in our community have ever as grown up men been disrespectful to women, and of cause we certainly never have tried to abuse them.
NOT because we are any better than other people - because this we are not - but because our moms and sisters taught us, that the most shameful thing a boy or a man can do is to use his greater physical strength to force himself upon a woman.
It is degrading for her.
But utterly shameful and disgraceful for him.

So I think that something good came out of our Female led upbringing after all. Odd as it all might sound.

Added after 42 minutes:

You should not think, that the girls were allowed to bully us boys around in our Female Led Community.

(Hanne's family was an exeption, but they unfortunately didn't live according to our mom's ideals of Female Superiority, which included mutual respect and love).


In some cases it even were the girls, who were treated unjust by our mothers, I have to say.


I will give an example of this from my own little family:


Shortly before Christmas 1979, when Ida was 14 year old and I was 17 year old, our mother, who worked at the Sociology Faculty at the University at Copenhagen at that time, had to help arranging an academic conference of some sort, and she therefore had to be away from home from Friday morning to Sunday evening. Strange as it may seem, we very much celebrated Christmas, and Ida and me used to get nice Christmas presents, because Chrismas is the Winter Solstice, which according to our mothers was an important holiday in the Matriarchal Calendar.

So Ida and me had a lot to do preparing for Christmas. ("Jul" is the word used in Danish, and Jul is a pre-christian word, derived from the danish word "hjul", which means "wheel").


As a substitute for my mother who was away, it was Ida's responsibility to organize the work and to tell me, what she wanted me to do.

On Saturday she told me to go to the grocery shop in the nearby village to buy a lot of stuff, but I asked her if I could stay there for a while and talk with Tom, a boy of my age who was a friend of mine.

Ida said yes, but she told me to come back quickly, because we both had a lot of work to do, and of I went.

Well, both Tom and I were very fond of chess, and therefore we that day played a game of chess together. Although Tom was a better chess player than I, I won the game, and Tom then asked me for another game, to which I unfortunately said yes. This game Tom won, and then I forgot all about time, so we played a third and decisive game, which Tom also won.
And after that we even analyzed our chess games.

Therefore it was already dark evening, before I came back home.
Of cause Ida was very angry at me. She scolded me, and she gave me a stinging slap to my face.
I of cause apologized. But although on the next day, which was Sunday, we both tried to make up for the time I had lost, we didn't manage to do all which we were supposed to do before our mother came back home that evening.

Mom of cause at once noticed, that we were afterwards with the Christmas preparations, and Ida of cause then told her that it was my fault, because I had stayed with my friend Tom almost the whole Saturday long.

But that explanation did not satisfy mom. She was furious. Not with me, but with Ida. I clearly remember that mom with an angry reprimanding voice said to Ida, that: "You knew exactly where Tjeik was, because he had told you. You should have fetched him and dragged him home by his hair, if necessary (om nødvendigt trække ham med hjem ved håret)".

Mom even went so far as to imply, that Ida was not worthy of her trust and of being her substitute when she was not at home, which made Ida have tears in her eyes.

I tried to intervene on Ida's behalf, but mom did not blame me, because I was a boy, who didn't have the responsibility.

Ida on the other hand she considered to be a mature girl, and she had failed.


I felt that this treatment was unjust to Ida, even if I was spared from reproach.

And Ida most certainly felt in the same way.

That night neither Ida nor I could sleep. Ida kept reprimanding and blaming me with a whispering voice. She was so mad at me, that she even tried to squeeze my testicles. But I grabbed her by her wrists, and forced her arms back. In her anger she then smashed her knee right into my groin, and hit my testicles. That really really hurt, and mom woke up by the noise of me moaning in pain. But again she scolded Ida. "Don't kick Tjeik in the groin because of your shortcomings" ("spark ikke Tjeik i skridtet for dine fejltagelser"), she reprimanded Ida with a stern voice.

The next morning, while we still lay in our double bed, I tried to tell Ida how sorry I was for what had happened, but she was still mad at me. But then I said, that I really deserved her kicking me in my testicles during the night, and that made her smile. A little later she hogged me, and forgave me.


After mom's unfair treatment that day shortly before Christmas I never let Ida down again. And she never had to punish me any more. Because I loved Ida with brotherly love, I of cause did not want to bring her in a similar situation once again, so this experience certainly made me a lot more considerate and responsible than I was before.


As adults Ida and I have sometimes talked about this episode, and today we tend to think, that mom perhaps was wise to scold Ida and not me, because she of cause knew of the strong bonds between us, and that I probably would adjust my behavior for the sake of my dear little sister.

Last edited by Tjeik; 19-Jun-21 at 13:19.
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Old 19-Jun-21, 15:11
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Default Re: Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

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Originally Posted by blamat [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
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Could you explain how this female superiority was explained to the community? You mentioned that girls were considered more mature, intellectually and morally superior but you did not go in details about how this superiority was demonstrated and explained.

You told us about the eyes contest but this proof alone seems very light to justify an entire system of belief. Or was this superiority considered self-evident with no need to prove it?


It is a common observation, which I think most people will agree upon, that teenage girls on average tend to be more mature than teenage boys. The girls tend to be more responsible, they normally do better in school, they often are more empathic than the boys - all of this prove the intellectual and moral superiority of the girls, our mothers said - and the girls tend to be better than boys at establishing social relations.*
But our feminist moms also had other arguments which they often told us children about in order to prove that girls and females were superior to boys and men:

When Ida and me were children, we were always told, that competition, aggression and violent behavior are inevitable traits of the patriarchal society, which our moms resented, because males are born to be competitive, aggressive and tend to be more violent then girls normally are.*
Women on the other hand tend to be compassionate and caring, due to the fact that they in all traditional societies are the main child carers.
Today I think that this explanation perhaps may be a bit exaggerated, but back then I of cause believed in everything that my mom and the other moms in our Female Led Community said.
It was among other things to avoid the "typically male competitiveness", which according to their socialist world view had fostered the capitalist society, that our feminist mothers always insisted upon, that our community should remain strictly Female Led.
To insure this the woman founders of our community had decided, that among us all property should be owned by the women in common female solidarity, which meant unrestricted willingness among the female property owners to help each other, as I have explained. Men were to be excluded from property ownership in order to avoid the competitive mentality, which our mothers thought to be inherent in boys and men.
All this may seem very idealistic or even odd for most people today, but you should not forget, that in the 1970s idealistic and even utopian ideas were popular among many of the young people in Western Europe.

In later life I found out, that women can be quite competitive to. But Larissa and Ida, and my other female friends from my childhood, who still very much adhere to our old matriarchal ideology, insist on saying, that overtly competitive women just have taken over a patriarchal trait to survive in a male dominated society.
I don't know if this explanation is true - our women have an explanation of everything according to our Female Centered world view - but at least I know for sure, that our moms who founded our "little Matriarchy" did their outmost to live up to their ideals of limitless solidarity within their group.

Our mom's conception of the difference between girls and boys is reflected in the different ways they used to punish their daughters and sons:

I think that our mothers tried to punish their daughters and sons in a way they could understand. so to speak. And my wife Larissa, who have used the same punishing methods (although she seldom had to face slap our boys) confirms that.

When we boys in our small community quarreled - which we of cause sometimes did - we used to fight it out. We reacted physically. And as I have told, we could be quite belligerent when our friends from the nearby village or even worse our girls were moped or attacked by other young boys.
But when the fight was over, it was over. There seldom were bad feelings between us afterwards.

But when the girls quarreled among themselves, they never used physical force. They used the force of their words instead. They would form a clique, which by the use of slander excluded the girl or the girls, whom the clique members wished to punish.
It had a much graver effect for the girl victims, than the occasional fights between us boys had for us.
This has nothing to do with the Female Led character of our community, because so most boys and girls react everywhere, I think.

So our moms and teenage sisters punished us boys by use of force, if need be. Because we boys tended to be more unruly and immature than our sisters, and because this was the way we ourselves reacted when we were angry at someone. It was a language we boys could understand, so to speak.

Our sisters were punished by our moms with stern and shaming words, because it had the desired effect upon them.
I clearly remember how sorry Ida used to be long after, if mom had been angry with her and reprimanded her for something. I got a scolding and a slap to my face, and then it was over with. I didn't feel sorry for hours thereafter.

Of cause I do not want to say, that this is a better way to raise children than other methods are, whatever they may be. I only say, that so it was and still is among us.

As I already have told in my previous post, as a teenage boy it was really embarrassing for me when my mother told Ida and me, that Ida, although three year younger to me, was vastly superior to me, and that I would have to obey her when she became a teenage girl.
I often tried to argue against it, saying that according to the age difference between us we must be equals, and that did not upset our mother. She just smiled and said, that there is no such thing as equality between sisters and brothers.

The eyes contest, which I have told you about previously, finally convinced me that Ida really was vastly superior to me. As told, it was a very humiliating experience for me.*
But I must add, that the eyes contest had precisely the same effect upon all the other boys in our community: We always lost to the self confident superior girls.

You say about the eyes contest that "this proof alone seems very light to justify an entire system of belief".

I totally agree.

But as told we girls and boys in our Female Led Community had for years been told by our moms about Female Superiority.*
So this belief system existed beforehand, and when I look at it today, the fact that the girls always won the eyes contest was not a proof of our belief system, but a consequence of it already being deeply ingrained in us. girls and boys alike. Today I therefore would call the eyes contest a circular conclusion.

Back then however I was convinced by this proof of girl superiority, and it made it easier for me to accept that I had to obey Ida as mom's substitute, and even be punished by her, as she became a teenage girl.
You may ask how I as a sixteen year old boy could accept this. After all I was much stronger than my little sister.
I will answer that it has very much to do with the mutual respect, and sibling love, which existed between Ida and me.
Ida never misused her power. She was always fair to me, and she worked every bit as hard as I, although her chores were different from mine.
But with authority also follows responsibility. Ida soon learned this, as did all the other girls of her age in our Female Led Community.

(Unfortunately the family of Hanne as an exception from this rule. Hanne was given full authority over her brothers without her having any responsibility, and as I have told it turned out very badly for her. And her brothers didn't continue the Female Led lifestyle).

Of cause giving their teenage daughters this kind of responsibility and authority over their brothers was also a way for our moms to prepare their daughters and sons for the different roles they intended us to have in their Female Led Community, if we as adult chose to stay there.*
Perhaps even the rule that we boys only were allowed to wear briefs in the summer time, and always had to sleep totally naked, whereas our moms and sisters wore night gowns, was a subtle way to remind us of our inferiority to the girls.
But I am not sure. In many non female led families boys and men sleep naked, and women and girls do not. And although I never saw Ida naked after she was five or six years old, I never felt any kind of embarrassment to sleep naked beside her in our big double bed.*

It still is my conviction, that boys need to learn to respect girls and women from early on, because this respect is not inborn in young boys.
The many appalling revelations of men's abuse of women in the wake of the Me To Movement bear witness to this.

You may find it unjust that I on rare occasions was face slapped by my mother, and later on even by my dear little sister, as mom had delegated the Female authority to Ida when mom was absent.
But so it was in all households of our Female led Community, and none - and I repeat NONE - of us boys raised in our community have ever as grown up men been disrespectful to women, and of cause we certainly have never tried to abuse them.
NOT because we are any better than other people - because this we are not - but because our moms and sisters taught us, that the most shameful thing a boy or a man can do is to use his greater physical strength to force himself upon a woman.
It is degrading for her.*
But utterly shameful and disgraceful for him.

So I think that something good came out of our Female led upbringing after all. Odd as it all might sound.

Added after 1 6 minutes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by blamat [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Thank you very much for this account!

Could you explain how this female superiority was explained to the community? You mentioned that girls were considered more mature, intellectually and morally superior but you did not go in details about how this superiority was demonstrated and explained.

You told us about the eyes contest but this proof alone seems very light to justify an entire system of belief. Or was this superiority considered self-evident with no need to prove it?

You should not think, that the girls were allowed to bully us boys around in our Female Led Community.

(Hanne's family was an exeption, but they unfortunately didn't live according to our mom's ideals of Female Superiority, which included mutual respect and love).


In some cases it even were the girls, who were treated unjust by our mothers, I have to say.


I will give an example of this from my own little family:


Shortly before Christmas 1979, when Ida was 14 year old and I was 17 year old, our mother, who worked at the Sociology Faculty at the University at Copenhagen at that time, had to help arranging an academic conference of some sort, and she therefore had to be away from home from Friday morning to Sunday evening. Strange as it may seem, we very much celebrated Christmas, and Ida and me used to get nice Christmas presents, because Chrismas is the Winter Solstice, which according to our mothers was an important holiday in the Matriarchal Calendar.

So Ida and me had a lot to do preparing for Christmas. ("Jul" is the word used in Danish, and Jul is a pre-christian word, derived from the danish word "hjul", which means "wheel").


As a substitute for my mother who was away, it was Ida's responsibility to organize the work and to tell me, what she wanted me to do.

On Saturday she told me to go to the grocery shop in the nearby village to buy a lot of stuff, but I asked her if I could stay there for a while and talk with Tom, a boy of my age who was a friend of mine.

Ida said yes, but she told me to come back quickly, because we both had a lot of work to do, and of I went.

Well, both Tom and I were very fond of chess, and therefore we that day played a game of chess together. Although Tom was a better chess player than I, I won the game, and Tom then asked me for another game, to which I unfortunately said yes. This game Tom won, and then I forgot all about time, so we played a third and decisive game, which Tom also won.*
And after that we even analyzed our chess games.

Therefore it was already dark evening, before I came back home.*
Of cause Ida was very angry at me. She scolded me, and she gave me a stinging slap to my face.*
I of cause apologized. But although on the next day, which was Sunday, we both tried to make up for the time I had lost, we didn't manage to do all which we were supposed to do before our mother came back home that evening.

Mom of cause at once noticed, that we were afterwards with the Christmas preparations, and Ida of cause then told her that it was my fault, because I had stayed with my friend Tom almost the whole Saturday long.

But that explanation did not satisfy mom. She was furious. Not with me, but with Ida. I clearly remember that mom with an angry reprimanding voice said to Ida, that: "You knew exactly where Tjeik was, because he had told you. You should have fetched him and dragged him home by his hair, if necessary (om nødvendigt trække ham med hjem ved håret)".*

Mom even went so far as to imply, that Ida was not worthy of her trust and of being her substitute when she was not at home, which made Ida have tears in her eyes.*

I tried to intervene on Ida's behalf, but mom did not blame me, because I was a boy, who didn't have the responsibility.*

Ida on the other hand she considered to be a mature girl, and she had failed.


I felt that this treatment was unjust to Ida, even if I was spared from reproach.

And Ida most certainly felt in the same way.

That night neither Ida nor I could sleep. Ida kept reprimanding and blaming me with a whispering voice. She was so mad at me, that she even tried to squeeze my testicles. But I grabbed her by her wrists, and forced her arms back. In her anger she then smashed her knee right into my groin, and hit my testicles. That really really hurt, and mom woke up by the noise of me moaning in pain. But again she scolded Ida. "Don't kick Tjeik in the groin because of your shortcomings" ("spark ikke Tjeik i skridtet for dine fejltagelser"), she reprimanded Ida with a stern voice.

The next morning, while we still lay in our double bed, I tried to tell Ida how sorry I was for what had happened, but she was still mad at me. But then I said, that I really deserved her kicking me in my testicles during the night, and that made her smile. A little later she hogged me, and forgave me.


After mom's unfair treatment that day shortly before Christmas I never let Ida down again. And she never had to punish me any more. Because I loved Ida with brotherly love, I of cause did not want to bring her in a similar situation once again, so this experience certainly made me a lot more considerate and responsible than I was before.


As adults Ida and I have sometimes talked about this episode, and today we tend to think, that mom perhaps was wise to scold Ida and not me, because she of cause knew of the strong bonds between us, and that I probably would adjust my behavior for the sake of my dear little sister.

Last edited by Tjeik; 19-Jun-21 at 15:11.
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Default Re: Life in a Female Led Community in Denmark

As I have told you already, the Female Led Community in which I grew up was founded by feminist women back in the year 1970 who considered themselves to be progressive members of the left wing in Denmark.

I was eight year old in 1970, and my little sister Ida was five year old at the time where we moved to this new founded community, because our mother was one of it's founding members.


One of the paradoxes of our small community is, that although it's female founders saw themselves as being progressive leftist, they sometimes cherished values and imposed rules, which were rather conservative.
They for instance were very strict on protecting their daughters modesty.
And we boys were not allowed to masturbate, and we would be punished if we did, and it was discovered.
This may remind you of Victorian sexual morality, but the reasons for our mothers to impose those rules were not Victorian at all.
That boys were forbidden to masturbate was not due to prudery - our mothers practiced free love - but due to the supposed fact that a boy who masturbate a lot will lose some of his energy and ability to concentrate. And if he has a girlfriend, then she ought to be the sole focus for his sexual energy.


Because our feminist mothers valued motherhood above all else, they were also against abortion. Nobody on the left to my knowledge shared this viewpoint back then, so also here our mothers were rather conservative.




To sum up I will describe our sexual life to be rather conservative, although some elements are involved - and to a even greater degree back in the 1970s and 1980s - which might seem very odd to most people today.

First and foremost I have to stress the fact, that among us the women are in complete control of our sexual life. Both regarding to how sexual activities are performed - the woman always sits on top of her lover - and also when and how oft we have sexual intercourse. This is so because it is the male penis who is penetrating the woman's body, and therefore she obviously have to want this to happen. Only if she wants it to happen, sexual intercourse is considered to be a good and beautiful thing to do among us.

But then again, as I have said the women of our community regarded the creation of new life as something sacred. Motherhood being the one thing that more than anything else singles out the female sex as being the superior sex.

The Mother is the center of the family, we all belong to her.

The man's role is to support her and her children in the best way he can.

So the thinking of our mothers.

The p pill was very seldom used by our mothers and their daughters who were suspicious of the products of the capitalistic society, as I have told. They also thought, that it was the boy's or the man's responsibility not to make his girlfriend or woman pregnant, unless she wanted to. And as I have told, the mothers taught their daughters how to manipulate the genitals of their boyfriends to prevent them from ejaculating inside her.
The condom was sometimes used, but it was not easy to get, because we could not buy condoms in the nearby village.

In the second half of the 1970s, as the expected great Socialist World Revolution did not happen, our leftist and feminist mothers with increasing intensity began to swap their Marxist ideology for the much more Female Centered Matriarchal world view, as I have told.
As well educated women, they read a lot about ancient Matriarchies, ancient Goddesses and stuff like that. And they of cause noticed, that in matriarchal societies, of which a few exist even today, the concept of fatherhood do not exist, or do not play any role at all. Because in such a society the lineage is determined in the female line, not in the male line, and who is the mother of a child is never in doubt. Therefore in such a matriarchal society women's sexuality is not controlled by men. And their daughters are the heiresses, because the women are the property owners.

(A key concept of the Matriarchal theory is, that it was women who created the earliest agricultural societies, because in the hunter and gather stone age the men had been the hunters, while the women gathered eatable plants and roots. Some of the women then gradually learned how to cultivate plants, and eventually how to cultivate fields, which they of cause owned, because the fields with the growing crops became their prime working place, so to speak, their men and sons only being their helpers. Fertility of both men, animals and crops was the all overriding concern for women and men in those age old matriarchal societies. And Goddesses, guaranteeing the fertility were the focus of worship. So the theory goes. Very shortly told).

In our Female Led Community, the women often had changing lovers, as I have mentioned earlier on. Therefore it really didn't matter whoever was the father of their children. But with the growing fascination of all things Matriarchal in what I call the "fanatical period" of our community, even the word "father" disappeared from daily use among us.
The women and their daughters were used to speak of the men with whom they were sexually engaged as their lovers, but now a new and somewhat degrading word came into use among the girls and their mothers of our little Matriarchy.
A male with whom a woman intended to form a relationship in order to have children with him was now called "hendes befrugter". (It simply means a man whose task it is to make a woman pregnant. Perhaps you might say "her begetter" in English).


Even Larissa used this word. I had already been her boyfriend for a pretty long time, and we of cause had had a long standing sexual relationship when she one day in early june 1982 told me, that "jeg har valgt dig til at være min befrugter, Tjeik" (I have chosen you to be my begetter, Tjeik).
Of cause I had the right to say no to her proposal - there was no compulsion in our Female Led Community whatsoever - but the clearly visible bulge that her words caused my penis to form in my briefs was a sufficient answer, as Larissa noticed with a smile. And so it was.

If the above told cannot be said to be conservative in the common sense of the word, then what we might call the wedding ceremony certainly was even less.

Perhaps I first should underline the fact, that it is quite normal for small communities, who are formed in opposition to the greater society to abandon the symbols and rituals of that society, and instead form their own symbols and rituals according to their own ideals. Because human beings simply need symbols and rituals. Something to relate to, which is bigger than ourselves.
For instance the Free Town of Christiania in Copenhagen has is own flag and its own rules and its own special kind of local government.
May be this fact can help you to better understand, or at least accept, the rather odd wedding ritual that was performed for Larissa and me on the day of the Summer Solstice (Sankt Hans Aften in Danish) 1982, when I was just twenty year old, and Larissa was nineteen year old.

That our wedding ceremony took place on that day, was no coincident.

Because Summer Solstice, Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox and Autumn Equinox were considered to have been important dates in the calender of the old agricultural Matriarchal societies.


The choosing of a male partner (or "befrugter", "begetter" as our women said back then) was considered to be a matter which only concerned the young woman herself and her female relatives and friends - plus of cause the chosen male - and therefore besides me only women were present in Larissa's mother Jacinta's house, where the ceremony took place in the bedroom, which Larissa and me from now on should share.
Larissa's mother Jacinta and Larissa's one year younger sister Ophelia were present, and so of cause were my mother and my little sister Ida, who was 17 year old at the time and therefore considered to be a young and mature woman. Also Ida's best friend Louise was invited, and Louise's mother Karen was also present. And of cause Larissa's best girlfriends Clara, Mette and Sonja were also invited.
The about forty year old woman Monika, who was a kind of chief Matriarchal ideologist - you may perhaps call her a kind of Priestess - in our community, performed the ritual.

First she asked Larissa if she would "elske Tjeik og modtage ham i dit hus og under dit tag" (love Tjeik and receive him in your house and under your roof), to which Larissa said yes.
Then Monika asked me "Tjeik, vil du elske, tjene og adlyde Larissa" (Tjeik, will you love, serve and obey Larissa) to which I of cause also answered yes.
These questions may seem strange, but the meaning of the words were only a description of our every day life:
That I should "serve" Larissa only meant, that I should do my share of the chores in our daily routines, as Larissa would do hers. And "obey" only meant that I recognized Larissa's right to make the final decisions.
So I entered into much the same kind of relation to Larissa as that I was used to in regard to my mother and my sister.
And strictly speaking did the house not belong to Larissa. It of cause belonged to Jacinta, her mother. But all the same the wording of the wedding ritual was as described.

The strangest part of our wedding ritual was what followed thereafter.
Larissa and me were expected to consume our wedding by having sexual intercourse at once, and the invited women were to look on.
Normally of cause sexual intercourse is a strictly private activity, also among us. But the wedding was seen as a kind of almost holy Fertility Ritual, and the women thought that it was a good omen if the bride became pregnant and bore a child nine months after her wedding intercourse.
I only had to pull of my brief and lay down on the bed, and I of cause immediately had a full erection. I have told how intercourse was among us, but this time Larissa of cause let me ejaculate inside her. And as I so did, she screamed with joy and delight. And so did all the women onlookers.

Nine months later she actually bore our first child, a lovely boy, whom Larissa named Alex.

Two years later we even had the sweetest twin daughters, which was a great blessing, because twins are very seldom born. Larissa decided to name them Ariadne and Andromeda, because being of Greek origin she preferred Greek names.

For the next nearly four years Larissa took great care, not to become pregnant again, and she certainly knew how to avoid it. Because there naturally was a lot of work and expenses which went with having twin daughters. But of cause I was not in chastity, as Larissa always masturbated me to have an ejaculation after she felt satisfied when we had sexual intercourse.

About four years after our lovely twin daughters Ariadne and Andromeda were born, we had our last child. A little boy, whom Larissa named Jason. As he grow up, he became a kind of pet child for his twin sisters.
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