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  #11  
Old 16-Nov-20, 19:50
jim1245 jim1245 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Figures, most guys on this board would give their left nut for a gf like that. But this guy obviously doesn't have this fetish, just a pure waste, that's all I can say.
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  #12  
Old 16-Nov-20, 20:45
Elbow Escape Elbow Escape is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerCrushes [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
He's an idiot for not knowing something? That's a ridiculous claim. What does "she trained in BJJ" even mean to most people in the population? Do most people (in the world) have any clue what it means? And just because someone "trains" in something doesn't mean that they're any good at it or that their training is remotely effective even if they are technically skilled.
Yes, but most people in the world dont' know anybody who does BJJ, let alone having a girlfriend who train and don't even have ever heard the word.
I find hard to believe she didn't explain him what her hobby was in six months, he likely just dismissed it as ineffective because she is a girl.

That's why I empathize with her and not with him and I'm happy he was humiliated, since despite being a man i'm used to being in the same situation.
I have met several untrained people who tought they could beat him despite me being trained (and them knowing it) just because i'm short and skinny, and ironically I'm talking about guys just 15-40 lbs heavier than me, not huge 240 + lbs muscular brutes who may actually be right.

It's an incredibly frustrating feeling, being perceveid as weak despite all your succesfull effort to stop being weak just because of the way you look and ignorant prejiudicies.

I remember in particularly a fat out of shape guy telling me "but you are so skinny I could just launch you away with one hand", fortunately a few weeks later we had the opportunity to have a sparring match at a friend's house and I easily tapped him repeadetly, making him change his mind.

Last edited by Elbow Escape; 16-Nov-20 at 21:30.
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  #13  
Old 16-Nov-20, 20:58
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Maitsek Maitsek is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

It is difficult to analyse a situation, but I think he was above all surprised and just panicked. His reaction happened really quickly after he felt discomfort, and it seems he felt genuinely anxious and distressed. He had huge misconceptions about fighting and BJJ, and this new perception was created when he didn't expect it at all.
To know we can be completely helpless is scary in a way, and he needed to process this, especially in the context of his relationship with his girlfriend.
I feel sorry for both because there was no harm intended and she looks sincere and concerned. Hopefully time helped to heal those strong emotions.
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  #14  
Old 16-Nov-20, 21:31
Grappler86 Grappler86 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Guys, am I the only one who thinks he has our fetish and he tries to dissemble it for a general audience hoping to get excited for the responses? Wouldn't be the first time I read something similar...
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  #15  
Old 16-Nov-20, 21:38
wsxqaz wsxqaz is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

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Originally Posted by InTheFlesh86 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I would say it has nothing to do with actually falling and everything to do with the social context being that there is an expectation not to fall. When failing to meet this expectation, you experience some degree of ostracization and ridicule from those around you. The suggestion from one's peers that there's something wrong with them can very often overwhelm one's personal logic and reasoning to the contrary.
we i have lost in public matches the teasing was always "you lost to a girl" based, not you lost to someone with more training and better athletic ability. So i agree a lot has to do with society and false expectation that girl cannot beat a guy
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  #16  
Old 16-Nov-20, 21:48
Elbow Escape Elbow Escape is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grappler86 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Guys, am I the only one who thinks he has our fetish and he tries to dissemble it for a general audience hoping to get excited for the responses? Wouldn't be the first time I read something similar...
I have also read it a lot of times, and that's why I think this one is probably real.
It seems spontaneous and realistic, like a person who really experienced it and find it distressful would talk, while the fakes trying to get excited are usually easy to spot since they put "exciting" stuff in their tought process that don't really match with how a regular person is supposed to feel or talk after an emasculating event.
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  #17  
Old 16-Nov-20, 22:27
mark.johnson21 mark.johnson21 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Knowing that she trains in BJJ doesn't mean he knows anything about BJJ or that he's familiar with what it's like being in any of those holds. He obviously doesn't know much about it and so it's not fair to assume that he does.

I've not been in his situation, but I totally understand why he'd be upset. It sounds like he thought they were just play fighting / messing around (which he said they've done before), and this was the first time she pulled out a move that went way beyond just fooling around -- one that cut off his air supply and physically hurt him. It was supposed to be just play fighting, right? I dunno, if I'm just fooling around with someone playfully and out of the blue they try to knock me out, I'd be pretty upset, too. You know, what the hell? This wasn't supposed to be a real fight. Why are you trying to hurt me? Most guys are not into the stuff that this site highlights.

Being told that "most people can handle it" definitely was not the smartest thing to say on her part as that is only gonna make him feel like an utter weakling. I do feel for her, too, though. Sounds like she didn't realize what she was doing (or saying) and took it way too far by accident. Hope they can patch things up.
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  #18  
Old 16-Nov-20, 22:57
Grappler86 Grappler86 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elbow Escape [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I have also read it a lot of times, and that's why I think this one is probably real.
It seems spontaneous and realistic, like a person who really experienced it and find it distressful would talk, while the fakes trying to get excited are usually easy to spot since they put "exciting" stuff in their tought process that don't really match with how a regular person is supposed to feel or talk after an emasculating event.
Yes, but the "intelligent" fake acts exactly like this one. I know the majority of them are morons who are easy to spot cause they add "exciting" elements to the account. But, believe me, there are even shrewd ones.
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  #19  
Old 16-Nov-20, 23:07
Wrestler11 Wrestler11 is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Perhaps similar with guys who have a partner who makes more money than them.
In their upbringing they learned that the male should be the provider and the protector etc.
If your girl can then easily kill you with her bare hands that kinda shatters that image and makes you doubt your own position in life etc.

The idea that he should have been sporty about it and say ''hey good roll bruh'' and bump fists with her or something seems out of place if he is not familiar with it.
A lot of people have a certain image of themselves that while they have never been in a serious fight they assume they would not be helpless.
When someone then easily mops you up it confronts you with your own mortality and just how fragile you are against some well applied physics.
If that someone then turns out to be your partner whom you learned your entire life should be weaker than you and you should protect her you feel awfully vulnerable.
Clearly you suck as a protector... so... now you have to deal with that realization..

Added after 8 minutes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jwo321 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Guy sounds like a idiot. Your dating a girl that trains in jujitsu... and if she is really into and and likes the sport jujitsu people always like to grapple around and throw their friends in holds and submissions. And they love to squeeze to get the tap which she was doing. He probably more upset cause it was done at a party wirh people around rather than at home in private. But still she trains in jujitsu .... there no shame in your girl catching you in a hold while you are playfully rolling around
Not a problem if you are used to grappling.
Sparring in itself is basically a simulated death match.
And the tap symbolizes they could have choked you death or broken a limb (and then choke you to death).

All that stuff is pretty confrontational and you have to be into that and go through a certain growing process to get used to it and consider it a game.

Also shows that if you are trained you should not just apply submission holds on people who don't know it.
Jocko Willlink broke some dude's throat with an ezekiel because he had never done BJJ before and when sparring the guy panicked and forgot to tap.

Those submission holds are dangerous and can have quite an emotional impact on people who don't know them.

Last edited by Wrestler11; 16-Nov-20 at 23:07.
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  #20  
Old 16-Nov-20, 23:12
Elbow Escape Elbow Escape is offline
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Default Re: Male identity crises

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grappler86 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Yes, but the "intelligent" fake acts exactly like this one. I know the majority of them are morons who are easy to spot cause they add "exciting" elements to the account. But, believe me, there are even shrewd ones.
Yes I can't be 100% sure it's true, but going by that logic everything you ever read on any subject can be a fake of someone with a fetish on that topic (there are unsuspectable fetish about basically everything).
I find it believable enough to assume it's true until proven otherwise, I know plenty of people with no fetish who I can assure you would react the same if not worse.
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