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Old 01-Aug-20, 21:23
FetishWebDev FetishWebDev is offline
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Discussion 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

I'm using the word "friends" VERY loosely. I mean, specifically:

- being excessively considerate
- treating them as an equal
- helping out financially with bills
- taking them out to dinner
- buying gifts
- talking about your personal life, asking them about their personal life, and talking about the sessions business / subculture
- getting to know them over time with lots of texting before/after session appointments

Assuming you want to be dominated (physically and mentally), doing the above makes it much harder for domination to really happen for a number of reasons:

- She starts to see you as an equal and / or a possible friend. This makes it much harder to be mean since they naturally don't want to hurt a friend.
- They start to get lazier - since they figure they have you as a long term repeat customer.
- On your end, it's hard to see someone as dominant when you're aware of their faults and personal problems.

Some examples I've experienced:

- The girl who openly admitted she couldn't dominate me. "You're so nice though, I like you...I CAN'T dominate you!"

- The girl who started smoking pot for a good 30 minutes while telling me of her plans to go to dental school.

- A girl and I were talking about some more hardcore fetishes while she sat mounted on me. I told her I was really into cuckolding and humiliation. "Whyyyyy" she goes.
"I truly believe I am a loser. I mean, look at..."
"Oh please, your NOT a loser. You have a great job!"

The thing is...this same girl beat the living crap out of another guy and humiliated him to the point he had to cut the session short and ran out of the room. He got that treatment by being somewhat of a jerk.

- Another girl I know has been arrested more than once and has constant drama in her life. She's also extremely lazy and spends most of her time smoking pot. I wish I didn't know this about her.

- Another girl I know regularly beats the crap out of Mark Gagliardi and regularly bosses him around (this is off camera, between them). I never get any of that treatment though. I actually envy Mark for this!

I think about the girls I did not get to know at all, and who didn't get to know me. Neither one of us were mean, but it was all business and there was always a subtle dynamic that they were better and more powerful than me. These girls had no problem beating me physically while crushing my ego pretty good.

The above is just my experience reflecting on the 23 sessions I've had over 8 years. There are exceptions, but this pattern sticks out for me thinking over my past experiences.

So if you want a girl to be mean and really try and break you, it seems that it's better to have a bit of an attitude come session time. I'm NOT saying to hurt her feelings or violate her boundaries in any way. But to have just enough of an edge where she feels challenged to impose her will on you. There's a certain attitude that’s playful enough for you to both have fun while distant enough so that neither of you know too much about the other.

Can you guys relate, or is this nonsense?
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Old 01-Aug-20, 21:57
mermao mermao is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

I've done all the things you describe as "friends" very loosely, though not with every single lady I've ever had a session with. I've not had even one of the negative results you describe. I have had a few of those results with friends who were not sessionistas. I think the lessons are two. 1. Pick your friends carefully. 2. As a group sessionistas make better friends than ladies who are not. But that's my experience. You have yours and I'd be interested to hear the experiences of others.
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Old 01-Aug-20, 22:02
Hoodman Hoodman is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Interesting points and I can see this not just with session wrestlers but women that I know in general. They fear hurting me because I'm kind. Also it's hilarious you keep say smoking pot. Hasn't really affected motivation for a lot of people I know at all.
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Old 01-Aug-20, 22:12
RNC RNC is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Interesting post.

I would have thought that your approach to sessions (respectful, dinner, gifts) would lead to better sessions than "having a bit of an attitude" would. But I can see how, by getting close to you, they could start to see you as a friend and forget that you want to be dominated.

I think that a good way for you to get the session that you want would be to show this exact post (your post, not mine!) to the session wrestlers that know you best. It would remind them of what you really want from a session. I expect that at least some of them would do their very best to give you the session of your dreams (if you remind them what that session is) as a thank you for how well you treat them.
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Old 01-Aug-20, 22:24
Juvi Juvi is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Quote:
Originally Posted by RNC [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Interesting post.

I would have thought that your approach to sessions (respectful, dinner, gifts) would lead to better sessions than "having a bit of an attitude" would.
Thatīs whatīs my experience is in these situation.

But I guess it depends on how hard you want the domination, if you really want her to go very hard on you than yes may be itīs a problem when the girls know that you are a nice guy and donīt want to inflict too much pain to you.
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Old 01-Aug-20, 22:59
Ryan Futuristics Ryan Futuristics is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Girls feel 'icky' about turning you on when they start seeing you as a brother figure.

A girl may wrestle a brother – but if the brother gets an erection, or moans, it will freak her out (obviously – and talking figuratively and hypothetically).

She might say 'I like you too much' – what that means is: your behaviour's put you in a non-sexual category .. It's not that they have to dislike you; it's that they have to respect you .. And not too much, otherwise they'll want you to dominate them.
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Old 01-Aug-20, 23:06
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InTheFlesh86 InTheFlesh86 is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Hmm I relate to any of this yet as I'm still working on my first (and maybe only) session. That said, my situation might be a little different as I'm viewing the session as more of a case study or an experiment, rather than a performance or an experience.

I'm actually a little surprised to hear that session wrestlers are even open to being friends with us in real life. Does this even go for the more established girls?
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Old 01-Aug-20, 23:56
AKgrappler AKgrappler is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

I have been in the Friend Zone, with a few of the women. Also I have had one treat me like her brother, which I didn’t enjoy that much.
This is probably what happens when your a nice guy and treat them well. I am sure they meet all types doing sessions and when they a nice normal guy they latch on.
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Old 02-Aug-20, 00:07
FetishWebDev FetishWebDev is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Quote:
Originally Posted by AKgrappler [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I have been in the Friend Zone, with a few of the women. Also I have had one treat me like her brother, which I didn’t enjoy that much.
This is probably what happens when your a nice guy and treat them well. I am sure they meet all types doing sessions and when they a nice normal guy they latch on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan Futuristics [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Girls feel 'icky' about turning you on when they start seeing you as a brother figure.

A girl may wrestle a brother – but if the brother gets an erection, or moans, it will freak her out (obviously – and talking figuratively and hypothetically).

She might say 'I like you too much' – what that means is: your behaviour's put you in a non-sexual category .. It's not that they have to dislike you; it's that they have to respect you .. And not too much, otherwise they'll want you to dominate them.
This is so frustrating considering the cost of these sessions but I think @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] and @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] nailed it.

Somebody needs to write a book on how to escape the friendzone with dommes!

I never thought of it this way but it makes complete sense.

One of the girls who I have seen multiple times - we do have great chemistry as friends - is not only less dominant with each subsequent session but less sexual as well. I enjoy the tease and denial game they sometimes play, and during our first session, she grinded on me constantly but gave me nothing more (which was fun to me, in a masochistic sense).

But on our 2nd, 3rd sessions? It's been a lot more like family members wrestling around. Zero sexuality. Her techniques were strong but I felt something lacking that I couldn't put my finger on. That was it.
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Old 02-Aug-20, 08:18
RNC RNC is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheFlesh86 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I'm actually a little surprised to hear that session wrestlers are even open to being friends with us in real life. Does this even go for the more established girls?
It can happen with any session wrestler. They are all human. Obviously some will treat sessions more of a business than others (and be less likely to be friendly outside of a session) - and some will treat it as more of an opportunity to meet new people (and be more likely to be friendly outside of a session).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan Futuristics [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Girls feel 'icky' about turning you on when they start seeing you as a brother figure.
In my view, it is very rare (unlikely) that session wrestlers will start seeing you as a brother, so much so that they see dominating you as 'icky' - having previously been happy to dominate strangers. I find it hard to imagine you jumping past 'friend zone' and into 'brother zone'. I can see clients getting into the 'friend zone' with some frequency but 'brother zone' would be a lot less frequent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FetishWebDev [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
during our first session, she grinded on me constantly but gave me nothing more (which was fun to me, in a masochistic sense).

But on our 2nd, 3rd sessions? It's been a lot more like family members wrestling around. Zero sexuality.
I think a more likely explanation is that the session wrestler doesn't enjoy grinding on first-time clients (or any clients) - but she occasionally does it to first-time clients because she is less certain about how they will react to a poor session (and she wants to retain business, etc).

Once she gets to know you (has had a few dinners with you, discussed her personal life with you), she sees you as a reasonable guy and she sees your business as secure. This makes her less likely to do things that make herself uncomfortable.

I think this is an easy enough hurdle to get around. Just be really clear about what you want from the session. There is nothing clearer than saying "I feel so strongly about this that I reached out to the community for advice. Here is a link to the thread". I'd bet you'd see an improvement in your sessions after showing them this thread.
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