Interesting theory. Some of us who have this fetish LEARNED it, not innately

[chosenone]

I've been reading into the psychological side of this and I was snooping around old posts here; many here, if not most seem to have an early childhood experience which triggered the fetish.

On the forums *** I was able to read into experiences of people who have acquired fetishes through escalation. This means that some people would watch regular vanilla sex, but then venture into other types of porn such as femdom and that would replace their original desires. Porn escalated them.

In my case, I have a headscissor fetish. It overrides my desire for sex completely. But I have no early childhood experience which triggered it.

The furthest back I can remember was being attracted to girl's hands; this was when I was younger than 10. I just loved them for some reason, and had a thing for HOM. When I was about 12, I stumbled across a mixed wrestling video of a bodybuilder woman scissoring a guy and I got off on it.

However, I now do not find bodybuilding women attractive whatsoever; I can't get off on a video of a bodybuilder woman scissoring a guy. Bodybuilding women repulse me; this progressed to me not finding bodyscisssors attracting anymore, while I once loved bodyscissor videos, I now got nothing from them. I then found reverse headscissors less appealing and am into front/side headscissors.

It seems that in my case, my fetish has been shaped through the internet I consume. It wasn't inherently innate, but years of watching these videos has changed my desires; hence things I got off on before (e.g. bodybuilder women) now do nothing for me.

[Hector Hammond]

Yes, my personal esperience i moved from vanilla sex to this type of things, after understand there's a substancial and mutual antipathy between me and women.
It is some of kind of masochistic pleasure see man or boy defeat by girl or women.
I solidarize with him.Perhaps it's painfull see this ,a part of me say "don't forget , it's what's happen to you".

[psf366]

Chosenone, while I sympathize with your curiosity and your frustrations, I strongly suggest not going down the "what caused me to be like this" path. You will not figure it out, mostly because the human psyche is not nearly as literal and obvious as you might hope. You will not find a childhood incident which caused you to fantasize about head scissoring. And you certainly could not have learned it from buying videos at Clips4sale. If you had bought homosexual wrestling videos, would you have learned to be gay?

The truth is, we all start out with some vague predilections for human intimacy. A child may be drawn towards softness or strength, aggressiveness or supplication, the joy of pleasure or the security of order. We each have a natural attraction towards males or females but the specifics of that gender tendency are varied and unclear. And with this messy bag of undiscovered yearnings, a child interacts with real people who randomly reward or punish those most intimate aspects of his or her identity. Hopefully, a child is welcomed into interactions which celebrate what makes them feel good. Often, they are not. But like a salmon swimming upstream, a person keeps trying to find real life events that echo and resonate with inner feelings of joy and satisfaction. What we most remember are the moments in which that resonance leaps into consciousness. You remember the discovery of a woman's hands. I remember when an older cousin was showing off some wrestling moves and I saw a leg scissor for the first time. I guess it's like a salmon who suddenly stumbles upon the perfect stream -- he doesn't know WHY it is perfect, he just knows it is perfect for him.

And please, let's not encourage this "there's something wrong with me" crap. There are web site forums filled with people into all kinds of shit. Why are we the only group that spends half our time hating ourselves for what we like?? Yes, pedophilia is bad. And yes, sitting in around jerked off while hating yourself is a shitty way to live. But everything else is okay. In fact, it's better than okay. It's freaking beautiful!

Sorry, but swimming upstream isn't supposed to be easy.

[chosenone]

Originally Posted by psf366 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Chosenone, while I sympathize with your curiosity and your frustrations, I strongly suggest not going down the "what caused me to be like this" path. You will not figure it out, mostly because the human psyche is not nearly as literal and obvious as you might hope. You will not find a childhood incident which caused you to fantasize about head scissoring. And you certainly could not have learned it from buying videos at Clips4sale. If you had bought homosexual wrestling videos, would you have learned to be gay?

The truth is, we all start out with some vague predilections for human intimacy. A child may be drawn towards softness or strength, aggressiveness or supplication, the joy of pleasure or the security of order. We each have a natural attraction towards males or females but the specifics of that gender tendency are varied and unclear. And with this messy bag of undiscovered yearnings, a child interacts with real people who randomly reward or punish those most intimate aspects of his or her identity. Hopefully, a child is welcomed into interactions which celebrate what makes them feel good. Often, they are not. But like a salmon swimming upstream, a person keeps trying to find real life events that echo and resonate with inner feelings of joy and satisfaction. What we most remember are the moments in which that resonance leaps into consciousness. You remember the discovery of a woman's hands. I remember when an older cousin was showing off some wrestling moves and I saw a leg scissor for the first time. I guess it's like a salmon who suddenly stumbles upon the perfect stream -- he doesn't know WHY it is perfect, he just knows it is perfect for him.

And please, let's not encourage this "there's something wrong with me" crap. There are web site forums filled with people into all kinds of shit. Why are we the only group that spends half our time hating ourselves for what we like?? Yes, pedophilia is bad. And yes, sitting in around jerked off while hating yourself is a shitty way to live. But everything else is okay. In fact, it's better than okay. It's freaking beautiful!

Sorry, but swimming upstream isn't supposed to be easy.

There's nothing wrong with it. I just want to know why, I have so many questions...

[jiminy]

Ultimately it's in your genetic make up, how your brain is wired.

Your preferences can certainly change over the years and I'm not just talking sexual. I'm really into Fishing at the moment, for example. Nothing like going down to the lake and getting your rod out for a few hours, being at one with mother nature. When I was younger however, Fishing never appealed to me at all. I used to be hooked on video games back in the 16 & 32 bit eras, but now I don't play at all. Don't even have the latest console.

I used to be really into feet, but now not so much. I never used to like female bodybuilders back in my teens, but now I love women with muscle and they're a huge turn on.

[ed209]

Originally Posted by jiminy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

I'm not just talking sexual.

Originally Posted by jiminy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Nothing like ... getting your rod out for a few hours, being at one with mother nature.

.

[ed209]

On a serious note, though, I agree. I was never into weightlifting or working out until the past couple years. Now I love it (well cardio is still kind of boring). I also used to find a lot of actress types super hot, now I usually just see a girl with skinny legs when I watch movies. For example, lots of people seem to think Taylor Swift is awesome and hot. I think she looks skinny as shit and find nothing about her attractive. Her music blows too.

As far as muscle goes, I also think the competition look is completely disgusting, whether it's bikini or FBB. Don't like the tan, don't like the dehydration, or the ridiculous bodyfat levels. I'd much prefer to see them in gym attire doing something athletic. Also I assume the competition itself is fairly boring, with the girls walking around posing in a bikini. That's one thing crossfit gets right: they actually have people lifting weights in the competition itself.

For those of you who have huge collections of muscle porn type stuff, if it spans several years, try sorting by date and seeing what you were into 2, 5, 10 years ago as opposed to now.

[stymie]

Originally Posted by ed209 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

For example, lots of people seem to think Taylor Swift is awesome and hot. I think she looks skinny as shit and find nothing about her attractive. Her music blows too.

I'm not a hater but I couldn't agree more. All 3 points. I suppose guys into the pre-adolescent look get turned on.

[psf366]

Originally Posted by chosenone [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

There's nothing wrong with it. I just want to know why, I have so many questions...

Sorry, I didn't mean to say you thought there was something wrong with it. There have been other threads on this topic filled with lots of talk about Normal Sex vs Unhealthy Perversion and I think it's all very wrongheaded.

Yes, I have questions too. But my questions are all about why our sexual interests aren't more popular. In fact, I think on some level, lots of men and women sense the sexual excitement of submission wrestling but are too weirded out by the reality of it all. Several years ago, I was writing on a TV project for a producer who had been a sports promoter. He had led the fight organization which later became Ultimate Fighting. In the beginning, he said he had trouble getting state approval to stage fight events. For one big fight in Arizona, everything was set until he got a phone call from Senator John McCain who said he was blocking the event because he thought men wrestling and squeezing one another was much too sexual to be a real sport. McCain said real men should fight each other standing up using only their fists. McCain wasn't wrong -- two people wrestling and squeezing one another IS sexual, especially when one of them is a strong beautiful female athlete. Hey, maybe if men stop being afraid of all that "real man" bullshit, more of them might come to enjoy that Submission Ecstasy! And I'm sure more women will admit they think it's hot, too.

[Raoul Fulgurex]

Originally Posted by chosenone [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

I've been reading into the psychological side of this and I was snooping around old posts here; many here, if not most seem to have an early childhood experience which triggered the fetish.

On the forums *** I was able to read into experiences of people who have acquired fetishes through escalation. This means that some people would watch regular vanilla sex, but then venture into other types of porn such as femdom and that would replace their original desires. Porn escalated them.

Those theories of acquired - or rather reinforced - fetishes are quite good at explaining why fetishes seem to get more and more specific as age goes. It can for instance explain why even on this very forum where most of us share the same general orientation, you regularly hear people saying "nah, that is repulsive" at the very same thing that represent the pinacle of sexual excitation for others.

On the other hand, the same theories are quite bad at explaining why certain fetishes are more popular than others, and at predicting which person will develop which fetish. That means that one can't expect them to explain what started the damned thing. Pointing at an early experience is like cherry-picking. Why did that experience start a fetish, while hundreds of other experiences didn't ?

For one, I don't recall any experience that could have triggered my desire to be physically dominated by a woman. But I do remember very well that at a tender age (I would say 5 or 6, but with certainty it was before I was 8), the idea of being tied up was already extremely appealing to me. At the time, I didn't mind too much whether it was by a boy or by a girl.