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Old 14-Jun-21, 19:31
domfirst69 domfirst69 is offline
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Default Seeing a dominatrix before first organic sexual experience?

I'm considering seeing a dominatrix to fulfill my sort of odd fetishes (headscissors, sometimes until knockout, and facesitting) before my first organic/natural sexual experience and relationship (21 y/o). How bad of an idea does this sound? I've read mixed opinions on seeing a prostitute before having sex with a partner, but they seem to lean against doing so. Is seeing a dom for a fetish that does not involve actual intercourse different? People see doms outside their relationships to live out fantasies their partners will not engage in, and I estimate the odds of a future partner being willing to do this stuff to be low, seeing as how most women are submissive and at least headscissors involve some degree of harm, which women seem to shy away from. Some people do manage, yet it just does not seem compatible with most women.

I've had this fetish for around 7 years now, and honestly just want to experience it once and for all. Maybe I'll enjoy it and maybe I wont. I worry that if I enter a relationship before experiencing it, it will always be on my mind and I'll try to introduce my partner to it with disastrous consequences. Maybe that's just me rationalizing, though.

On the other hand, perhaps it'd be best to leave this sort of thing as something to hope for and look forward to in a relationship. I could be wrong about women's aversion to this fetish.

Last edited by domfirst69; 14-Jun-21 at 19:50.
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Old 14-Jun-21, 20:48
uxiel uxiel is online now
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Default Re: Seeing a dominatrix before first organic sexual experience?

Feel free to go for it, and if it turns into an addiction where you treat your GF/wife as an object and not a human or need to see the doms constantly to the point it harms your finances or relationships, make sure to cut it off early. Some session girls might feel a little weird seeing someone so young. I've had a few awkward moments when they thought I was way younger than I actually was, but no big problems.

And if it turns out you're into fetish stuff but not actual sex, that's okay. Procreation is not mandatory for all people. Consequences may also be disastrous if you go through a sexual life that's completely unenjoyable to you, and never tried out the things you actually wanted to.
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Old 14-Jun-21, 22:03
samatotrampoukos samatotrampoukos is offline
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Default Re: Seeing a dominatrix before first organic sexual experience?

Ha the consequences of introducing your partner with your fetish definitely won't be disastrous just leave it for after the 5th date. Mine bought for my birthday a latex mat so we could oil wrestle and we were dating for three months at that point.

My advice would be to not get addicted to it and of course not treat your girlfriends like session wrestlers or dominatrixes, sex is about back and forth and communication. The old saying is true "with eating comes appetite", when i started having sex (at the same age as you) i thought i was fully submissive but after dating a lot of submissive girls I really got the appetite for being dominant and i'm now fully a switch.
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Old 15-Jun-21, 07:52
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Johnhwasser Johnhwasser is offline
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Default Re: Seeing a dominatrix before first organic sexual experience?

Seeing doms for fetish non sex is ok. It will let you understand what you actually like or don't. Some things we imagine over and over as amazing are not that good irl.

My recommendation is to get a gf though. Fast. (1)

When you find one that you find beautiful and funny and willing to have sex with you, your mind will be blown away. It will be dead easy to discuss fetishes. Will come naturally early on. Tell her you like her to be bossy and punish you. In no time you'll spend hours being scissored/facesat.
I also think most women are not sub but willing and happy to do both roles if it makes the partner happy. They do have a tendency to be sub.

In the unlikely event that the gf is not willing to do _any_ of the stuff you like, then you can always call it. You're young and unattached.

I agree that finding the one that does _everything_ you want and has all the characteristics you like will be close to impossible. A lot of guys see dommes on the side because they're either too ashamed to ask the partner, the partner just can't do the one thing they miss (e.g. lift them) or just want a therapist. Lol.

(1) try tinder as it is easy but note it doesn't work for the vast majority of guys. Join meetup.com or similar in your area and then search for singles groups/parties. I found this to be a goldmine tbh. Join blind date events. They're paid but it's a fractionn of a wrestling/domme session and also very good. Join paid dating sites. The paid ones have a lot less noise and fake profiles. Work part time somewhere with lots of women like a clothes shop.
Good luck

Last edited by Johnhwasser; 15-Jun-21 at 08:06.
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Old 16-Jun-21, 01:00
mark.johnson21 mark.johnson21 is offline
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Default Re: Seeing a dominatrix before first organic sexual experience?

It's an excellent idea. You obviously want to experience these things, so the sooner you get to, the less conflicted you'll be, the less lustful you'll be regarding it, and the more knowledgeable you'll be about the whole thing. You will learn a lot about yourself from the experience.

Also, if you're a virgin and have never been up close with a woman, you'll walk away realizing what that's actually like compared to how you think it would be, and having been that up close with someone will make it easier to get a girlfriend because you won't be so nervous or in the dark about them.

A session wrestler (or a prostitute, for that matter) is a temporary financial arrangement that is free of judgement. You're not gonna fall in love with them. They're definitely not gonna fall in love with you regardless of if they act like it. You'll be shocked after you leave how bizarre paid intimacy is. You will almost definitely feel like a client and not a potential lover. That's a good thing.

As for future partners being accommodating -- if you're willing to include cunnilingus with facesitting, I'd say there's a 90% chance whoever you're with will be agreeable to sitting on your face. Actually being knocked out you might have to see someone on the side for, but if you develop a trusting relationship with someone, there's a decent chance your future girlfriend will give you the freedom to pursue the kinks she's unwilling to accommodate with a pro provided it remains platonic.

My girlfriend (now fiancee) has allowed me to do that close to 10 times since we've been together. In fact, she was even the one who floated the idea that I see a pro for the kinks she couldn't do.

Also, if your future girlfriend is willing to let you see a dom, she might be willing to accompany you to a session and learn from the dom how to scissor you properly. Then you get both the dom and your GF taking turns scissoring you for an hour.
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Old 18-Jun-21, 01:42
Jwo321 Jwo321 is offline
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Default Re: Seeing a dominatrix before first organic sexual experience?

Honestly your only 21 and if this is your first gf or sexual experience it won’t be your last. How many guys on here are with or married the girl they dated at 21 ? Not saying there isn’t that high school sweet heart people out there. But your young and this is the time to experiment. Figure out what works get some experience. A fetish is like a sex drive within itself. I think about my fetish more then about sex and I imagine a regular “normal” man probably thinks about sex like I would about my fetish. I think it’s a great ideas to see this dom to try out your fetish. I saw a session wrestler first time when I was 27 to experience what I like and glad I did! I only wish I had the balls when I was younger like you are so I could of experienced more before getting married. Have fun !
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Old 18-Jun-21, 02:18
Junglebeast Junglebeast is offline
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Default Re: Seeing a dominatrix before first organic sexual experience?

My experience was this. I was 20. Horny. Hadn't had a date in awhile. Had "organic sexual experience" somewhat but not all. Saw an ad in Screw Magazine, famous in NYC during the '70s and '80s, for a hot, older woman, blonde with short hair, busty, dressed in black. I didn't know what the hell "dominatrix," BDSM, etc. was. Spanking? Sure. Bondage? I understood. I just wanted to be with this very hot older woman. I called and she sounded as hot as the picture. I took my well saved $35 for 45 minutes to be with her.

Looking back, she was around 50, my Mom's age at the time. The Mistress was extremely hot and ordered and slapped me around... but that's not all she wanted. After being ordered to pleasure her orally she taught me how to successfully worship a clit... her clit. After that we were on the floor of her carpeted studio. She smiled, kissed me deeply, and said, "So... you have a girlfriend?" I was a bit timid then, but I remember saying to MYSELF, "If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't be here." I politely told the Mistress, "I don't." She proceeded to remove my shorts and told me, "Don't EVER say I did this," and gave me the most memorable and erotic blow job I ever got. That's something... since I'm well past 60.
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