My CAI Experience

[jiminy]

Continuing to follow on from lollydx's stories of British celebrities engaging in intergender pro-wrestling style matches, I finally had the privilege of attending one of these "CAI" events myself. The card was intriguing and featured many attractive women from the world of television, music and modelling.

The Card:

Diane Youdale aka "Jet" vs Brian Cox
Suzi Perry vs. Richard Hammond
Trinny & Suzanna vs Badiel & Skinner
Kate Silverton vs Joe Pasquale
Nell McAndrew vs Jeremy Kyle
Anthea Turner vs Rupert Grint
Lisa Scott-Lee vs Daniel Radcliffe

Each match scheduled for one pinfall or submission. Disqualifications and count outs also in effect.

[jiminy]

Match 1



Vs.



Brian “The Boffin” Cox; the former D:Ream keyboardist, now best known for his work on Science shows such as “Wonders of the Universe” made his to the ring first. He wore a black wrestling singlet, with black boots.

The crowd lightly applauded the Particle Physicist, but it was Jet they had come to see.

I must say I had forgotten just how hot Jet was – and seeing her promotional photo brought back those schoolboy fantasies of her strong legs wrapping themselves around her unfortunate victims on Gladiator events such as “Hang Tough” and “Pendulum”. It appeared others in the crowd shared this sentiment.

“WE WANT JET! WE WANT JET!” The crowd chanted as anticipation for the busty brunette reached fever pitch.

Finally, she made an explosive entrance, electing a huge pop from the crowd. Her long wavy brown dancing as she ran confidently to the ring with a bright smile. She wore a red leotard with white trim and white boots. She also wore tan/nude tights, giving her amazing thick powerful looking legs an awesome sheen.

Jet was still in amazing shape – defined muscle tone and looked much younger than her 43 years. In fact, she had hardly aged at all!

It didn't take long to see that Jet had clearly lost none of her athleticism either as she quickly took control of the match with arm-drag take downs and quick fire drop-kicks. She even tossed poor Cox out of the ring with one powerful arm drag and it was clear his puny, stringy physique was grossly out-matched by his opponent's.

The match turned into a pure squash match as Jet nullified any chance of Cox making an impact. She was just plain better at everything – speed, strength, stamina and technique. To his credit, Cox did not quit as Jet slapped on a number of painful submission moves, including a boston crab and an STF.

The end finally came when Jet power-bombed him to the mat and performed an amazing high flying leg-drop from the top rope, crashing down onto his head, leaving Cox in dreamland. She then performed an elegant back-flip, fluidly coming to rest in a scissor-splits with her right nylon-stocking encased leg straddling his shoulders for the pin. Cox was clearly out for the count as the ref came in.

“ONE... TWO... THREE!”

Jet held the leg-splits position as she struck a double-biceps pose. A beaming smile enveloped her face, savouring her victory while Cox grimaced in agony beneath her, beaten and defeated.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner... Jet!”

[lollydx]

Awesome!!!

The pics add so much wish I could use them.

I could tell Jet would demolish this guy just from the pics
not to mention Youdales fighting skills.

Trinny and Susannna LOL

Cant wait to read about them against the 3 lions legends they
could only win on Fantasy Wrestling League.3 count for the
posh totty surely??

Ah well have to wait to find out.

Hope Anthea is amazing in the ring the blonde bombshell.

Great stuff though how you got into a CAI card ill.never know lol

[jiminy]

Match 2



Vs.



With aparrel more akin to an aged X-Games participant, Richard Hammond made his way to the ring wearing dark baggy shorts and a cream coloured t-shirt. The usually smug, pint-sized petrol head, seemed unusually apprehensive as his opponent made her way to the ring in a black-leather catsuit and boots amidst loud cheering and a good number of wolf whistles. “The Queen of Leather” as she has been dubbed, Suzi Perry confidently stepped through the ropes and eyed her opponent as the bell sounded.

Perry, enjoying a height advantage over her male adversary wasted little time backing him up against the turn-buckle following a collar and elbow tie up. The former Gadget Show presenter went to work with knife-edge chops and knees to Hammond's gut, before launching him across the ring with an impressive belly-to-back suplex that took the crowd by surprise.

The biker babe continued to press home her advantage, whipping Hammond off the ropes and lifting her black leather boot to meet his jaw.

As Perry moved in to administer further punishment, a beer can was suddenly thrown into the ring. Perplexed, the referee moved to dispose of the beer can and as he did that, the crafty little runt Hammond reached into the pocket of his shorts and produced a handful of dust. He then chucked it at his opponent's face, dousing her with dust. Dust in the eyes!

Suzi staggered back, rubbing the dust from her eyes. It gave Hammond enough time to attack however, and he swooped in with a chop-block, taking the taller woman off her feet. Hammond launched into action, with elbow drops and then slapped on a figure-four leg-lock. The brunette gritted her teeth and fought through the pain as she shuffled closer and closer to the ropes.

She reached out and secured the rope, ensuring the ref would give Hammond only 5 seconds to break the hold. Hammond held on until 4, milking the hold for everything it was worth before being forced to release.

At that moment someone jumped over the railings – good god almighty, it was Clarkson – Jeremy Clarkson.

Distracted again, the ref leaned through the ropes, ordering him to leave the ring area, but as his back was turned another man – this time James May – entered the ring, sliding under the bottom rope... And he was carrying a chair! Hammond seized Perry, bringing her back to her feet and locking her arms behind her back, giving his partner in crime the opportunity to administer a chair-strike behind the ref's back.

May took aim and swung the folded steel chair at Perry as Hammond held her, but she broke free and May nailed Hammond!

Hammond went down as Perry executed a jumping stagger-kick on May, her leg rocketing up high, impacting the chair which ricocheted into his face, sending him reeling out of the ring as the crowd roared it's approval.

Perry, visibly steaming mad with the cheating trio, brought her dazed opponent back to his feet, roughly lifting his feeble body for a side-walk slam, but dropping him across her knee with a brutal back-breaker. She swiftly yanked him up again, wasting little time, setting him up for a slow, painful neck-breaker. She twisted his neck around until they stood back-to-back and then dropped to her butt as the pain jarred through his neck.

She then forced him up to his knees and circled around behind him for her finishing move.

Standing above him from behind, she placed her hands together and lightly closed her eyelids, her face calming to a picture of serenity as she took in a deep breath and exhaled through pursed lips. Her eyes flashed open and her right hand drew back and fired down a furious karate-chop to the base of his neck.

“KIIIIiii-Yaaaaaaaaah!” She screamed in feminine fury as the devastating move known as 'Chop Suzi' knocked him out cold. His limp body flopping forward unceremoniously.

She simply strutted around and dug her foot under his body, flipping him over onto his back before placing her shiny black leather boot onto his face for the cover.

Clarkson looked on helplessly as the ref turned his attention back to the match.

“ONE... TWO... THREE!!!”

The bell sounded as Suzi Perry kept her boot firmly on Hammond's head, like a true dominatrix in her black leather catsuit and another unconscious, defeated man under her boot.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner... Suzi Perry!”

[lollydx]

Great match..funny and sexy a fine combination

Id give it 9 1/2 out of 10 only because Clarkson escaped
unscathed.Hate the odious creep would have liked to see the
incredibly sexy leather clad lovely drag him in the ring and
humiliate him.

Ill settle for the other two getting their come uppance though.

Cant wait for the Clothes whores Anthea Turn On and
best of all lovely little Lisa.

Bring it on!!!

[jiminy]

Match 3



Vs.



There had been a war of words prior to this match as the two fashionistas had been mocking what Skinner and Badiel would wear to the ring, while Badiel and Skinner were miffed that their opponents had been considered the bookies favourites to win.

Badiel and Skinner both wore red trunks with white trim, their out-of-shape bodies drawing much laughter from the females in the crowd, but they were all business in the ring as their opponents entered wearing matching, glistening gold leotards.

Trinny started off the match against David Badiel, showing poise and skill with drop toe-holds and a clothesline. Tall, lean Trinny, wound up Badiel's arm before tagging in her partner. The heavier Susannah coming in off the top rope with an elbow smash across Badiel's arm. The girls continued to work him over with quick-fire tags.

Leggy Trinny earned a near fall when she came off the ropes with a Hulk Hogan style leg-drop. Skinner rushing in to save his partner as the ref reached a count of 2.

Finally the tide turned when Skinner lifted a knee into the spine of Susannah as she came off the ropes, giving Badiel a welcome opportunity to tag in his partner.

The Brummy comedian went to work on one half of the 'What Not To Wear' duo, with an irish whip into the turnbuckle followed by a body slam. Skinner continued to press the action with an atomic drop and a spine-buster. Skinner went for a cover but Susannah kicked out at 2.

Badiel, having had chance to recover, was keen to tag back in to get some offence of his own. The boys were firmly in charge now as Susannah continued to take punishment from both. Badiel wearing her down with a side-walk slam and an elbow drop.

“It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming...”Some men in the crowd, sensing victory was near, began chanting the words to Badiel & Skinner's chart hit they famously performed with the Lightening Seeds back in the mid-90s.

Skinner tagged back in and following a fluid scoop-slam, he climbed to the top turnbuckle, looking to finish it with a splash from the top rope. He lept high in the air but Susannah scrambled out of harms way at the last millisecond as the women in the crowd cheered.

Skinner shuffled over to Badiel and made the tag first, as Badiel rushed over and prevented Susannah from making the tag, grabbing her foot and dragging her away from her partner. Badiel looked ready to finish it now as the fresher man set her up for a pile driver. He jerked her feet off the ground but could not get her up. He tried again ...and failed. Finally Susannah powered out, countering the move with a back body drop, flipping Badiel over onto his back.

Badiel inched over and tagged Skinner but this time it was too late as Susannah slithered over and tagged Trinny. The tall girl burst into the ring full of aggression, backing up Skinner with rights and lefts. Badiel attacked her too, but she ducked his clothesline and with a handful of hair, she tossed him over the top rope to the outside.

Trinny whipped Skinner off the ropes and caught him with her long sleek legs, executing a perfect hurricanrana into a pin. She straddled his chest and painfully pushed his legs down until his toes touched the canvas, his shoulders tight to the mat.

“ONE, TWO...”

...But no, Badiel once again rushed in to make the save.

Susannah, now somewhat recovered, clotheslined Badiel as all 4 duked it out simultaneously. The girls were in charge as they whipped both men into the same corner, Skinner first, then Badiel splashing into his partner. Trinny then whipped her partner Susannah into the two men, crushing them with a running turnbuckle splash.

Both men staggered out of the corner as the two girls, Trinny taking Skinner, and Susannah taking Badiel, lifted their opponents, both performing simultaneous tombstone pile drivers in the centre of the ring.

Both women shuffled into a reverse face-sit cover for the pin with the ref counting both together.

“ONE, TWO...”

“...THREE!”

The bell sounded as Trinny and Susannah rose to their feet, arms aloft in celebration after their hard-earned victory.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, here are your winners; Trinny and Susannah!”

[lollydx]

Trinny and Susanna were awesome!! Great fightback
by the ladies and its now 3 from 3 for the "weaker" sex.whod
have thought it lol.

Cant see Silverton settling for Silver in her match either

Look forward to it.Some very funny lines in that throughout
loved the fashionistas mocking F and Ds attire pre match ha ha

[jiminy]

Match 4



vs.



Pasquale took to the ring first in a pair of white trunks and unsurprisingly requested the mic.

Strangely he just stood there for a minute as the crowd died down. Another minute passed awkwardly.

Pasquale then spoke in his silly squeaky voice. “People say to me... Get out of my garden.”

A few chuckles came from the mostly perplexed crowd, followed by boos.

Pasquale then began skipping around the ring, before bursting into song.

“I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves... I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves... GET ON YOUR NERVES!”

The crowd erupted into a chorus of boos, before Kate Silverton's music finally hit electing a loud pop from the crowd keen for Pasquale to shut the hell up.

She made her way to the ring to the tune of 'Maneater' by Nelly Furtado.

Silverton removed her black robe to reveal a daring black leotard with black boots. Her leotard consisted of a low “V” cut front showing plenty of cleavage and a thong back.

The well-built brunette immediately took charge of the match with a headlock and a snap-mare suplex. She brought Pasquale back to his feet and continued to work him over with a side Russian leg-sweep and a gut-wrench suplex, showcasing her strength. The short-haired Newsreader lifted the male as if he was as light as a feather.

She lifted him again, and dropped him across her knee with a cruel back-breaker. Pasquale rolled in agony, favouring his back and looking like he could take no more. He shuffled away from Silverton with a look of fear in his eye as the Journalist with an athletic background in Swimming and Judo advanced on him once more, revelling in her dominance.

She brought him back to his feet once more as Pasquale fought back feebly with lefts and rights that had little effect on the big woman. She fired back with a hard chop across his chest, an audible smack sounded as he reeled across the ring. She then took him by the throat and choke slammed him to the mat.

Pasquale was just about done for the night as he lay spread-eagled on the mat.

Kate brought him back to his feet once more however and slapped on her finishing move – a rough full nelson.

It didn't take long for Joe to cry out a painful submission but Kate held him in the hold until she had put him to sleep.

She then let his prone body flop to the canvas as she stood above him, savouring an easy, dominant victory.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner; Kate Silverton!"

It was a crushing debut performance from Kate Silverton that will have left many CAI men quaking in their boots.



Extra pic of Kate, dwarfing a guy. Seriously, I think she could kick my arse. She does know Judo for real.

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[lollydx]

So did Kate win by KO or Submission?

Either way she was awesome love the pics of her.She
should def be a CAI regular.Classy smart sexy and sadistic

The perfect woman lol

btw ive had an idea how a league could work possibly could
try it on a small scale soon.8 ladies in a league.winner wins
trophy 8th placed wrestler drops out of the league to be replaced
by a male who wins a separate division of all men.

Basically the 8 guys wrestle the 8 ladies and after 8.or 16 if they wrestle twice mayb at girls gym guys gym h and away so
to speak) matches the female with most wins or best fall
difference if 2 ladies have won all their bouts wins title.

Could work though all the guys must be at least capable.of
upset wins no jobbers to keep it competitive.

Let us know what you think anyway.

Turner must win..Jezza looks the only hope for the guys to me
as L S L.is a featherweight legend in waiting.

[jiminy]

Match 5



Vs.



Nell McAndrew, in blue spandex shorts and a sports top, started out strong in this match, besting Jeremy Kyle in a test-of-strength as the former Lara Croft model brought the daytime TV presenter embarrassingly to his knees and screaming out in pain.

Yet to hone her ruthless streak however, McAndrew released him allowing Kyle, in a pair of orange board shorts, to take control of the match by raking the eyes of his opponent.

He then grabbed a handful of hair and rammed her face-first into the turnbuckle as the crowd booed.

Undeterred, it appeared Kyle was out to win at all costs. He moved in and applied a blatant choke as the ref gave him a 5-count to break the illegal hold. He milked it until the referee reached 4, before breaking the hold as Nell took in deep gulps of air.

Kyle then secured a reverse headlock and drove a hard inside forearm smash to his opponents back, dropping her to her knees. He followed up with several foot stomps to McAndrew's body as she was beaten down further. He then dropped an elbow and looked for a quick cover.

Athletic and strong McAndrew kicked out at 1 with authority. Kyle kept on her however, securing a chin lock. The tough Yorkshire lass garnered the crowd's support however and prized Kyle's hands apart, over powering him again as she had done initially.

The two went back and forth with rights and lefts as the blonde fitness fanatic finally got back into the match, backing her opponent onto the ropes, before irish-whipping him across the ring. He came off the ropes as McAndrew ducked low and flipped him with a back body drop.

Kyle scrambled to his feet but McAndrew was on him again, clotheslining him over the top rope to the outside.

She went after him and it was there that Kyle once again delved into his book of tricks. From a kneeling position, he grabbed a handful of her tight blue spandex shorts and sling-shot her into the ring post.

Kyle slipped back into the ring as McAndrew lay outside the ring. Hoping she would be counted out, Kyle stayed in the ring, getting back to his feet and celebrating victory as if it was over. Much of the crowd booed him and cheered his opponent, hoping she would make it back before the ref reached 10.

On the brink of being counted out, Nell McAndrew finally, desperately, slid under the bottom rope as Kyle shook his head in disbelief. He rushed her with a double axe-handle smash before she could recover any further. He brought her to her feet, too dazed to mount any offence and with a grunt of effort, lifted her 5'9” toned and fit body across his shoulders. He then fell back, slamming her to the canvas with a powerful Samoan drop.

Kyle hooked a leg as the ref came in for the pin fall.

“ONE, TWO... THR...”

...She kicked out!

Kyle cursed the referee for, in his opinion, counting too slowly before going back to work on his opponent. He came off the ropes with a splash, into another cover, but she kicked out again.

Kyle brought her back to her feet again and set her up for a suplex, but she revered the move and suplexed him.

Seizing her opportunity, McAndrew took over the match with a DDT, a swinging neck breaker and finished him off with a fisherman suplex, bridging her body and keeping a leg hooked as she pinned his shoulders to the mat.

“ONE, TWO, THREE!”

Kyle rolled in pain on the mat, favouring his head and neck as McAndrew rose to her feet in victory. Her perspiring skin shining under the bright lights, she had taken all he could dish out and still came away victorious proving that she was just plain tougher than him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner; Nell McAndrew!"