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  #51  
Old 18-Jan-16, 01:38
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

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Originally Posted by jimp [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Interesting discussion and a bit depressing to find that I've probably committed many of these especially 1 and to a lesser extent 3 in the original post (can I add excessive use of unexplained abbreviations to the list?).

On point 1, I am probably guilty of most of using sound effects because to be honest I don't know how to add the dramatic emphasis that this provides. Yes, I am a bad writer and know it but I try my best.

On point 3, on the rare occasions that I've used this device it has always been tongue in-cheek with the character names thinly disguised just for a bit of light relief from my usual stuff.

Several people in this thread appear to be making the assumption that we are all professional writers and therefore should possess a high level of writing skills. Far from it. I have never considered myself to be a good writer and am learning what works and what doesn't as I go along. I always try my best and I do proof-read what I write - sites that have spell-checkers are also quite good for an additional check.

Feedback from readers is also useful to provide some idea where I've written something that people like and where I haven't - especially if it is constructive criticism that I can use to try to improve in the future.

All I can say is keep on reading and give us constructive feedback that will encourage us to become better writers.
Don't let any of the comments here discourage you. 1 or 2 posters don't speak for everyone. There's room for all tastes, themes and abilities. If you're getting positive reviews and enjoy writing what you write, keep it up. As I've said before, I admire you for coming out with quality new stories as regularly as you do and certainly consider you one of the better, more prolific and appreciated writers in our little genre.

Personally I think well-timed sound effects are great as they add a level of intensity and fluidity to describing an action sequence blow for blow. I would only agree with Eric on the operative word "excessive". Chronsman is guilty of this with his constant "SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK" ..."AAAARRRHHHHHHHHhhhhhh..." yet I've read MANY people singing his praises and even saying he's their favourite author ever. Different strokes. I agree with brooksie that writers should try to avoid repetition. This makes reading monotonous.

Fanfics are great too for the amateur writer as the character has already been somewhat developed and established. Changing their personality and going "AU" is fair game, if properly explained. Fanfics and celebrities are hugely popular and here to stay. Some people's "pet peeves" have actually given me some ideas for future stories that I'm sure some will enjoy.

...When I eventually get around to writing/finishing them.

Ultimately, that's how I gauge things; as long as I enjoy writing the story and at least one person tells me they enjoyed reading it, I consider it worth while.
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  #52  
Old 18-Jan-16, 02:08
brooksie brooksie is offline
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

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Originally Posted by jiminy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Ultimately, that's how I gauge things; as long as I enjoy writing the story and at least one person tells me they enjoyed reading it, I consider it worth while.
Thank you. That's pretty much what I said on another thread. Not everyone wants feedback on their writing. Some people are doing it primarily to entertain themselves and are happy that anyone else likes what they've written.

For me, it could never work that way. I view writing as a challenge and try to nail it to the very best of my ability every single time (note: I don't always succeed). I love language. It intrigues me and I find the skillful use of it a beautiful thing. I love to read people who can be pithy, poignant, lyrical, sharp, sarcastic, funny and so on. There's a kind of magic, IMO, to the skillful use of words. Like watching the female wrestlers in action, admiring their skill, speed, gracefulness, strength. I'd say, without reservation, writing is a passion for me but I've gone well past the point where I write to explore my fantasies. That goal has been accomplished. Now I write to see if I can produce beauty and create art.

Last edited by brooksie; 18-Jan-16 at 08:27.
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  #53  
Old 19-Jan-16, 03:21
Mongoose750 Mongoose750 is offline
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

I think some people are missing the point of this thread. We are voicing our peeves ultimately for the writer's improvement. If someone told me I have my characters talk too much in my stories for instance, I would be checking my dialogue in my next tale to make sure that there's more action than talking. If no one tells me anything, I'm liable to think everything is all right, and continue making that mistake.

I know there's some who write a story for themselves, and I've read their remarks as such. However, the thing to keep in mind is this is a public forum. I don't know about anyone else, but if I'm going to do something that's going to be seen by the whole world (it is the World Wide Web after all), I'm not going to make garbage, post it there, and say "here's my work, if you don't like it, don't read it."

Secondly, I don't read everything. Speaking for myself, I don't read celebrity wrestling matches. I personally think it's laziness on the writer's part, and it's very limited. But I know there's people who would like to read a story about Britney Spears wrestling Madonna, so I leave that alone. Incest disgusts me, so I leave that alone. Then again, some people like reading it. But for the stories I do read, I like to see them done right. So do a lot of other people.

Now for that argument about professional writers and the rest of us, let me give you a little secret that I know the pros would reveal to you; the gap is not that wide. Not to sound like your English teacher in high school or college, but aside other things, the big difference is the pro slaved over their story for a long time, proofread it to death, and finally send it off to book editors in hopes that it would be seen in print. John Grissom sent his story [I]The Firm[I] to multiple publishers before having it self published. In other words, you can't use the excuse of not being professional writers anymore.

Regarding sound effects, if I may give someone a little advice, "Wham," and "Pow" belongs in comic books and 1960 Batman episodes. If you write instead "She grabbed the offender and clutched his jacket as she pivoted and delivered a textbook over the shoulder throw. For Johnny, it felt like the whole earth moved as his back hit the floor with shattering force," that would do the trick. You won't need to say "wham," the reader can see that for themselves as the character hits the floor. You may be desire to be more or less dramatic on that score, but you get the picture.
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  #54  
Old 19-Jan-16, 06:44
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

I figure that I might as well give my two cents on this discussion, since that are a lot of thing that author do or put in their stories that brother the heck of me. I love mixed fighting and wrestling stories but there just stuff that make me want to cringe when I see in in a story. Some of the time, I can just say "Well, that happen" and I just move on. But just as often, these thing can ruin the story for me.

Before I say that through, I feel like I have to address the current path of this thread.


In my humble opinion, When this thread got started because of just plain frustration. All of us are all fans of mixed wrestling, and I sure everyone here are read dozens of wrestling stories. The thing is...there are going to be things in each of every story that bother people. Large Blocks of text makes everything harder to read. Certain scenarios, or even cliche's that annoy and turn them off the story.

I certainly understand that people write what they want to write about, since it's not easy to just sit down in front of a computer, or laptop for several hours to write something in your head, and sometimes your heart. But I feel that it's important for people to reply and post things that annoys them about said stories as well. I mean it make me feel better anyway. I mean, that probably why they are so many response, replies and post in this one thread.

The statement "if you don't like the story, then don't read it" ignores the big problem, if you are reading the story, than it's already too late. I mean some stories are going to be fair obvious of what they are going to be about. "Mother and son wrestling" "How Jake the profession wrestling got beat by my 100 pound cheerleader," Olive, the bullying of Walt" etc. But a lot of stories (I do mean a lot ) are not going to have warning signs of what a reader is in for, especially a long one. There's some stories that I would enjoy, except some event at the end, such as good girl Jenny break up a man's arms of legs, already he be beaten and humiliated (that a real story, not an example.

After all that, I also want to say that I hope I haven't dis encourage anyone from writing. I don't know this thread can be used as writer's improvement, I not so sure. I mean most of the things that became pet-peeves to readers are a manner of opinions, not right or wrong. I can't stand ridiculous size differences, compare to woman and men (of both genders), but I know that a lot of readers just adore that scenario. Whether are not any author feel like they have change their writing style in ultimately up to them.

(OOps, I forgot to post my pet preeves.. ) I do them in another post.

Last edited by dragoness' wrestling fan; 19-Jan-16 at 06:57. Reason: addition
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  #55  
Old 23-Jan-16, 03:39
youngnovaDM youngnovaDM is offline
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

My pet peeves...
1) Femdom fights where the woman never gets hit....She can be impervious to blows (especially her abs and body when flexed THATS HOT), but let the woman take some blows.

2) The stuff that borders pedophilia

3) The stories that make the woman other worldly strong, without having real muscles.

4) Overly repetitive focus on things like scissors, bearhugs and holds. Mix up the fight.
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  #56  
Old 23-Mar-16, 20:33
Dennis Dune Dennis Dune is offline
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

But "WHAM" and "POW" would be perfectly appropriate for stories in which Batman and Robin are being beaten up by girls, would they not?
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  #57  
Old 23-Mar-16, 20:41
Dennis Dune Dennis Dune is offline
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

Re: the issue of pedophilia-- I can see a discomfort with it when its focused on kids who are without a doubt pre-pubescent. I understand that there are separate categories in some places for "pubescent" and "post-pubescent," but I'm not sure I subscribe to those distinctions. Without seeking to invalidate the societal definitions of adulthood-- which in many cases are necessary, if only due to the extreme complexity of modern civilization-- biologically, when the body reaches pubescence, it's ready for sexual encounters, even if society forbids them.

I suppose that Nabokov's Humbert Humbert is right on the edge, since he liked girls that were just on the cusp of pubescence-- which, truth to tell, is a turnoff for me as well. But I have nothing against a sort of "February/December" encounter where the kid's body has fully entered the post-pubescent phase; when he or she has become a *biological* adult.
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  #58  
Old 21-Apr-16, 03:31
davebrowne321 davebrowne321 is offline
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

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Originally Posted by jiminy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Otherwise fierce fisticuff fighting spoiled by referencing sexual arousal/gratification in the midst of it.

"Kelly peppered my face with a barrage of punches; left, right, left. In a state of humiliation, shame and semi-consciousness, I felt my cock stiffen. Finally, Kelly kicked up high, her bare foot crashed into my face, breaking my jaw and sent me crashing to the ground. I jizzed in my shorts as my brain shut down, unconscious from her punishing fists and feet."

I see this a lot and it just doesn't work for me. It makes a realistic story unrealistic and completely spoils it. Someone, in such a situation would NOT jizz themselves. It's just the author projecting their own arousal at such a scenario and it doesn't need to be literally written into the story. The suffering and humiliation of the male is part of what makes it arousing. Being told he's getting off on it lessens his suffering and lessens my arousal. Yes, a girl kicking a guy's ass is arousing, we all get it.

--


Names. Specifically really old-fashioned names for young characters in supposedly contemporary settings.


"18 year old Barbara straddled her step brother Alf's chest and held his wrists to the floor. Suddenly, his best friend Arthur burst into the room to save him, but was intercepted by Maude. Meanwhile, Marilyn held Walt down as well."

If this is set in 1930, please reference that fact, otherwise posting this in the 21st century just seems wrong, out of touch and makes the reading experience again, unrealistic and uneasy/difficult to imagine. Ok, there are some young people with old-fashioned names; you can have an Arthur or a Marilyn - no explanation needed - young people with these names do exist, but every character in a story? No.
This site has elicited a lot of different reactions from me over the years .... but actually laughing out loud hasn't been one of them ... until now. Thanks!
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  #59  
Old 13-Jun-16, 05:05
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Angry Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

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Originally Posted by youngnovaDM [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
My pet peeves...
1) Femdom fights where the woman never gets hit....She can be impervious to blows (especially her abs and body when flexed THATS HOT), but let the woman take some blows.

2) The stuff that borders pedophilia

3) The stories that make the woman other worldly strong, without having real muscles.

4) Overly repetitive focus on things like scissors, bearhugs and holds. Mix up the fight.
1. And yet, they still call the Mary Sue "tough". That's Hulk Hogan/John Cena/Roman Reigns levels of trying to make her look strong no matter what. Just say LOL MARY WINS and skip the pretense.

2. And that's when you go [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

3. See #1.

4. Basically writer wish-fulfullment.
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  #60  
Old 24-Aug-16, 05:57
EricRRobert EricRRobert is offline
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Default Re: My four biggest pet peeves in m/f fighting stories

I have some more pet peeves to gripe about :P

1) So many numbers!!

"John and Mary squared off in the center of the ring. Mary was 28, stood 5'8", weighed 128 pounds, sported a 34D chest, had firm 15 inch biceps, a body fat of 22% and a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.6. She was 17-3 in competition and 3-1 against John specifically."

2) Stories that start with a long lineup of fighters

"The Thompsons squared off against the Davidsons. The Thompsons were Dave, Jill, Brad, Stacey, and Lillian. The Davidsons were Marcus, Terri, Maria, Matthew, and Betty. Their ages were" AHHH I WILL NEVER REMEMBER THIS

3) World-building! Stories where there are thousands and thousands of words of exposition before any action begins. Please, please, give us the gist, start the action rolling, and fill us in on what we need to know as we go.
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