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Old 31-Jul-20, 07:17
PurpleCat PurpleCat is offline
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Default Older guy starts fight with his brother's younger girlfriend and gets his ass kicked

Interesting story I saw on reddit where OPs younger girlfriend beat up his older brother when he started the fight.

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Copy and pasting text below if it gets deleted.

Part 1
I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, siblings and extended family on a family get together a few days ago. This was the first time I had seen them since the start of the pandemic and it started out really well with everyone getting along and having fun. That would change as more alcohol was consumed.

My girlfriend and brother got into a heated political argument that suddenly escalated to violence resulting in substantial injuries for both of them. Accounts of who throw the first punch differ and I frankly don't care as they both actively contributed to the fight and antagonized each other. The fight was eventually broken up when my girlfriend had the clear advantage. My mom screamed at my girlfriend to leave so we left.

I love both my girlfriend and my brother and I don't blame either one of them for the fight more then I blame the other. My girlfriend also doesn't seem to hold any grudges and is embarrassed by her behavior during the incident. My brother and parents on the other hand place 100% of the blame on my girlfriend and demand that I break up with her or they will cut all ties with me. I will not do that but I want to maintain my relationship with my family and somehow get them to accept my girlfriend and that she should not bear all blame for this incident.

My brother is also demanding that my girlfriend pay for his alleged medical expenses and is threatening to report her to the police if she refuse. My experience of growing up in this town makes me think sexism in the local police department makes it unlikely that anything would come of that report as they would almost certainly refuse to consider the possibility that a woman can assault a man. I have offered to pay off my brother but my girlfriend refuses to let me do that and says that she will pay him if he can prove that the medical expenses are real. My girlfriend still has clearly visible injuries but did not visit the hospital. I suggested that she go to get her injuries documented but she doesn't want to do that.

I just wish everyone could forget about this and move forward but writing this makes me think my family is acing unreasonably and perhaps I should just cut contact with them as they are threatening to do with me. Perhaps growing up with these people makes me blind to how ridiculous their behavior is? I don't know what I should do.

Part 2
Thank you for all the advice and apologies for the vagueness of my original post. I showed it to my girlfriend and she agreed that it was vague and thought I left out important details. I will let her provide those details at the end.

You convinced me that it may actually matter who throw the first punch. Before making the original post, I had heard two mutually exclusive versions of events. One told by my girlfriend and one told by my parents and my brother. It's honestly very hard for me to believe that any of them would lie about something like this.

I have since reached out to everyone else who may have seen how it started and received two relevant replies. One from my aunt who confirmed my parents' and brother's version and one from my youngest sister (18f) who described a scenario similar to what my girlfriend had told me. Everyone who sided with my brother has obviously had the opportunity to talk with him and each other and intentionally or unintentionally influence each other's story. It's very unlikely that my girlfriend and sister has done that as they don't know each other and my sister would have no reason to lie for my girlfriend. I don't think there is a reasonable explanation for them telling the same story other then that it's the truth. I'm therefore almost certain that my brother hit my girlfriend first.

My parents have recanted the threat to cut ties with me for not braking up with my girlfriend but they are still saying that she is not welcome back to their home and "will never be part of our family". I'm honestly done with them at this point. She has done everything and more including being willing to pay for his medical expenses and my brother refuse to even hear her apology much less make his own or take any responsibility at all. At this point, I'm 100% behind my girlfriend just as my parents are 100% behind my brother.

Many people commenting on the original post asked if my brother is racist or assumed that he is after I revealed what the argument was about. I'm honestly not sure how to answer that. My brother sometimes repeats racist talking points from TV and social media especially against Hispanic people but last year he was strongly against the deportation of a neighboring family who had immigrated from Mexico. He even (probably facetiously) suggested that their deportation was a conspiracy to undermine Trump's immigration policy by deporting "good people instead of violent criminals". I have never heard my brother use a racial slur or seen him treat anyone differently because of their race. I guess the answer depends on how you define racism.

TL;DR: My brother probably throw the first punch and my family won't cut ties with me completely but I'm mostly done with them.

My girlfriend's comment:

This is what I think happened based on what I remember, assume, and was told afterwards. It's probably not entirely correct.

We where all sitting around a big outdoor table. I was sitting between my boyfriend and his brother. We talked about non-political things like places we had been or wanted to travel to but then someone mentioned the protests and my boyfriend's brother immediately responded by calling the protesters terrorists. I asked what made them terrorists and if the cops where also terrorists by that definition. I don't remember how he responded but the argument continued from there. We where drinking progressively more alcohol as we continued to argue, almost like if we were in an unspoken drinking contest. At some point we both stood up and continued to argue loudly while getting in each other’s face.

My boyfriend tried to separate us by pulling us away from each other and by attempting to stand between us but we ignored him and continued. My boyfriend really doesn't like conflict or people screaming and he was probably very frustrated at that time so he left and went into the house. We where both angry and I definitely wanted to punch him but I still had enough self control to restrain myself. I fully believe in freedom of speech and I know that violence is never an acceptable response to someone expressing an opinion. Then he punched me with a closed fist in the face. I don't remember feeling afraid or like I was defending myself when I hit back. What I felt was a strange mix of hatred and excitement. We traded a few punches and then one of mine caused him to fall to the ground. I imminently kicked him in the chest and was then pulled away from him by his dad.

That kick is what I regret the most. It was excessive, dangerous, and completely unnecessary. I kicked someone laying defenselessly on the ground and I didn't feel anything for him until several hours later. I'm terrified of the person I was then but that person is still me. I did that but I can't understand why. I was not afraid and I remember doing it deliberately. I keep thinking about what would have happened if no one was around to stop me after that kick. Would I have kicked him again? How many times? I can't answer those questions and that's the most terrifying thing.

My boyfriend wrote that we both had substantial injuries. I don't think that's true. I had a black eye and some bruises. My boyfriend's brother had a broken rib and a concussion. My injuries were not substantial compared to his which is why I don't think it's unfair for me to pay for his medical bills. I would have done that even without the threat of reporting me to the police.

Some comments on the post indicated that my boyfriend's brother should either be more to blame or should feel ashamed of losing because of his gender. I disagree. Gender should not have anything to do with this. It's possible that he feels differently and is ashamed of losing to a woman but I don't think he should feel that way even within that value system as it was essentially random. He could just as well have knocked me to the ground with his first punch. I don't think strength or skills played any significant role.
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