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Old 12-Sep-20, 16:30
Silentcrs Silentcrs is offline
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Default The Student Artist - should I continue?

The rhythmic pounding of the gigantic, muscular buttocks into the diminutive figure below was only matched by the sloshy sounds of liquid splashing. Glutes, rippling and striated under the latex bodysuit covered in wet paint, flexed menacingly in the pale light. She crashed her body again into his, leaving yet another imprint colorful on the canvas, before sitting up and corkscrewing her abdomen into his outmatched pelvis, leaving the most delightful squirmy smears of paint. She leaned forward, hair hanging into his face, rivulets of paint dripping off of massive, heaving breasts onto his pain wracked form, the wind had long since been knocked out of him by her colossal body. She grabbed his chin and crudely forced his head sideways. “Scream for them, lover,” she smirked menacingly. “They paid for a show.”

***

For those who don't know, I wrote the Ultimate Power series (see here: [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]). The context here is that she’s a young, super muscular student. By day, she is a valedictorian, bit of a goody two shoes and artist. She routinely gets first prize in small high school art shows. At night, however, she creates what could only be described as “Amazon snuff art” – using her powerful body to grind men into canvases, literally creating artwork through domination. Some men not only pay for this art, but pay extra to watch her create it live (hence the part at the end). Naturally, since this is the Ultimate Power series there is sex and, ultimately, she kills her unwitting participant before handing the art over to the buyer.

What do you think? Too out there? Would you want to read something like this?
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Old 12-Sep-20, 17:34
cactusjuggler cactusjuggler is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

I say if you've got the story in you write it. Unless you're getting paid to do it, I wouldn't worry too much about the audience. When I'm writing something weird I always think "I hope someone somewhere ends up enjoying that" but I know from experience that catering to your audience doesn't make your writing any better. It makes for less interesting stories and you'll still have some douchebag tell you "it was good up until < thing I don't like >" or "it was good but it should have < thing I like >".

You can't please all the people all the time, and IMO you shouldn't try. If it's an interesting story to you, write it. If you do, I look forward to reading it. I'm in the minority, but the weirder the better for me.
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Old 13-Sep-20, 09:19
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mixfightor mixfightor is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

I'm not going to lie, mate, I am not into women with massive musculature, or bloody and brutal murder, either, but from the single paragraph you teased, and your earlier works in the Ultimate Power series, I can tell you write with passion and a true love for the end result. I would have to agree with CactusJuggler and encourage you to write whatever it is that makes you happy, because while stories often aren't for everyone, sometimes they do speak to the disenfranchised and lonely who can feel so isolated that they question their own fantasies. I say go for it, mate.
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Old 13-Sep-20, 13:33
exel__ exel__ is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

From that small paragraph it sounds great. Lots of potential to include various forms of domination. I'd definitely read
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Old 13-Sep-20, 14:36
Silentcrs Silentcrs is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mixfightor [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I'm not going to lie, mate, I am not into women with massive musculature, or bloody and brutal murder, either, but from the single paragraph you teased, and your earlier works in the Ultimate Power series, I can tell you write with passion and a true love for the end result. I would have to agree with CactusJuggler and encourage you to write whatever it is that makes you happy, because while stories often aren't for everyone, sometimes they do speak to the disenfranchised and lonely who can feel so isolated that they question their own fantasies. I say go for it, mate.
So question: if I took the murder out of it, would your feedback change?

I've been trying to figure out if this story should even be in the Ultimate Power series (and, for that matter, what an Ultimate Power story actually is). I don't really have a big thing for blood, guts and murder. I don't watch horror movies, for example. The purpose of the series was to do a darker version of Amy's Conquest (which I also had a hand in creating).

As for sizes of the girls, even though I never gave heights/weights in the stories, I always pictured them in my head as a little over 6' and maybe maxing out at 200-220 pounds. So powerful, but not grossly overmuscular. The attached (which DTM had illustrated for the Amy's Conquest site) probably best represents how they are in my head.
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Old 13-Sep-20, 17:35
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mixfightor mixfightor is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

I generally try to be positive and encouraging when I comment on people's stories, mate, because I have a deep respect for the time and effort that authors put into their works, and their generosity in giving the product of that work to us. For that same reason, I usually don't try to push my own preferences onto writers, because it saddens me when I read a story that somebody poured their heart and soul into, only to see a comment such as the ones to which CactusJuggler referred, pretty much demanding that it be altered to cater to the readers particular kink. Given that you are asking for feedback, though, I would have to say that the answer is yes. If murder and gore are less prevalent, it would help me to enjoy the story. Likewise, if the muscularity is less in-your-face I would probably be more inclined to like it. One of the reasons that I love stories so much is that you can often use your imagination to colour the characters and events to suit your own fantasies. I would still read your story even if it contained brutality and hyper-muscularity, but it might mean the difference between me skimming over the story to find some nugget of stimulating description, or my being fully immersed as I read it, hanging off every word.

There are things that I liked about your little sample. I don't want this to sound like I am overly critical. I like the suggestion that she is using her body to control and smother her opponent/victim, and I also enjoyed when she forced his head to the side and whispered in his ear to scream for their audience.

I can see the ambition of what you are trying to achieve and I really do wish you well. Thanks for allowing us a bit of insight into your creative process.
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Old 13-Sep-20, 19:34
davidwatts davidwatts is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

Silentcrs, in my strange world you are the William Shakespeare of this genre. Your 'Ultimate Power' stories are brilliant and incredibly well written. You have my utmost respect. It's been 10 long years since you wrote one, and if you came out with more you would make my decade...again...

'The Student Artist' story sounds amazing! The idea of a muscular woman killing a man as a work of art is something I've tried to incorporate in my own stories. The idea of art for art's sake without any consideration of morals and ethics is extremely erotic and fascinating, especially in these times...

If I had any criticism, it would be to make the men a little bigger and have the woman "fight" them before the raping and killing.
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Old 14-Sep-20, 11:29
Arnold Ziffel Arnold Ziffel is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

Ditto DW.
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Old 14-Sep-20, 12:43
Silentcrs Silentcrs is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

Thank you for the kind words, David. If I could dig into one thing a little more:

Quote:
Originally Posted by davidwatts [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
The idea of art for art's sake without any consideration of morals and ethics is extremely erotic and fascinating, especially in these times...
I'm curious about what you mean. I never wanted to make the girls politically-motivated in my stories. The core of the Ultimate Power series was that if you gave young women immense power, some would take advantage of it. This would be more due to all young people (men and women) being little horndogs around the 18-24 year old range. It's more about primal feelings than any sort of ideology. How that expresses in the reader's mind (wanting to dominate/be dominated, reversal of gender norms, etc) is up to them.

Added after 8 minutes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by mixfightor [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I generally try to be positive and encouraging when I comment on people's stories, mate, because I have a deep respect for the time and effort that authors put into their works, and their generosity in giving the product of that work to us. For that same reason, I usually don't try to push my own preferences onto writers, because it saddens me when I read a story that somebody poured their heart and soul into, only to see a comment such as the ones to which CactusJuggler referred, pretty much demanding that it be altered to cater to the readers particular kink. Given that you are asking for feedback, though, I would have to say that the answer is yes. If murder and gore are less prevalent, it would help me to enjoy the story. Likewise, if the muscularity is less in-your-face I would probably be more inclined to like it. One of the reasons that I love stories so much is that you can often use your imagination to colour the characters and events to suit your own fantasies. I would still read your story even if it contained brutality and hyper-muscularity, but it might mean the difference between me skimming over the story to find some nugget of stimulating description, or my being fully immersed as I read it, hanging off every word.

There are things that I liked about your little sample. I don't want this to sound like I am overly critical. I like the suggestion that she is using her body to control and smother her opponent/victim, and I also enjoyed when she forced his head to the side and whispered in his ear to scream for their audience.

I can see the ambition of what you are trying to achieve and I really do wish you well. Thanks for allowing us a bit of insight into your creative process.
Mix, don't worry. I'm seeking feedback so don't think you need to water it down. This is not a primetime story that will be acted out on network television. It's an Amazon story that caters to a small subset of the population. As a potentially violent story, it caters to even a smaller niche. My goal isn't to make a mass market piece, but my ego does want me to have others at least read it.

For me, having a muscular girl take what they want is exciting. The purest form of that was the Amy's Conquest series, which DTM and I developed into a whole book of material. In that world, despite girls... well... flat out raping, the guys rarely get more than a few broken bones. There's no blood (at least none that I can remember) and no one dies. The Ultimate Power series removes those restrictions and tries to explore why a woman would even want to do that. To me, as I mentioned in another reply, it's something more primal.

That said, as I've mentioned before, it's not like I'm into blood and gore as a day-to-day staple. I can't even watch most horror movies. I think the series gives me a chance to push buttons in a taboo side of my brain - ones that don't need to be pushed often.

Last edited by Silentcrs; 14-Sep-20 at 12:43.
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Old 15-Sep-20, 00:53
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Ridethewave Ridethewave is offline
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Default Re: The Student Artist - should I continue?

I would be very excited to read it if you chose to continue. Your writing ability seems outstanding (based just on that small paragraph you posted) and I'm definitely going to go back and read your other work. I also think the premise is very creative with so much potential for amazing situations of female dominance. I'm a big fan of the type of women that you describe as well (like Amys' conquest). I also don't normally go too much for gore or murder but if you feel like that's what your story needs, go for it. It's just the right amount of 'out there' for me
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