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  #31  
Old 21-Apr-21, 21:20
Wrestler11 Wrestler11 is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Quote:
Originally Posted by FetishWebDev [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I'm using the word "friends" VERY loosely. I mean, specifically:

- being excessively considerate
- treating them as an equal
- helping out financially with bills
- taking them out to dinner
- buying gifts
- talking about your personal life, asking them about their personal life, and talking about the sessions business / subculture
- getting to know them over time with lots of texting before/after session appointments

Assuming you want to be dominated (physically and mentally), doing the above makes it much harder for domination to really happen for a number of reasons:

- She starts to see you as an equal and / or a possible friend. This makes it much harder to be mean since they naturally don't want to hurt a friend.
- They start to get lazier - since they figure they have you as a long term repeat customer.
- On your end, it's hard to see someone as dominant when you're aware of their faults and personal problems.

Some examples I've experienced:

- The girl who openly admitted she couldn't dominate me. "You're so nice though, I like you...I CAN'T dominate you!"

- The girl who started smoking pot for a good 30 minutes while telling me of her plans to go to dental school.

- A girl and I were talking about some more hardcore fetishes while she sat mounted on me. I told her I was really into cuckolding and humiliation. "Whyyyyy" she goes.
"I truly believe I am a loser. I mean, look at..."
"Oh please, your NOT a loser. You have a great job!"

The thing is...this same girl beat the living crap out of another guy and humiliated him to the point he had to cut the session short and ran out of the room. He got that treatment by being somewhat of a jerk.

- Another girl I know has been arrested more than once and has constant drama in her life. She's also extremely lazy and spends most of her time smoking pot. I wish I didn't know this about her.

- Another girl I know regularly beats the crap out of Mark Gagliardi and regularly bosses him around (this is off camera, between them). I never get any of that treatment though. I actually envy Mark for this!

I think about the girls I did not get to know at all, and who didn't get to know me. Neither one of us were mean, but it was all business and there was always a subtle dynamic that they were better and more powerful than me. These girls had no problem beating me physically while crushing my ego pretty good.

The above is just my experience reflecting on the 23 sessions I've had over 8 years. There are exceptions, but this pattern sticks out for me thinking over my past experiences.

So if you want a girl to be mean and really try and break you, it seems that it's better to have a bit of an attitude come session time. I'm NOT saying to hurt her feelings or violate her boundaries in any way. But to have just enough of an edge where she feels challenged to impose her will on you. There's a certain attitude that’s playful enough for you to both have fun while distant enough so that neither of you know too much about the other.

Can you guys relate, or is this nonsense?

Paying bills, buy gifts and taking someone out to diner does not sound like being an equal.
Unless she pays your bills and diner as well it seems like she is milking you and not in the good way.

Also seems that no matter how hardcore BDSM fiftee shades your into you have to trust that your partner will respect your wishes (not killing or maiming you).
So trust and connection seems key even/especially in dom and sub stuff.
You basically trust your body and feelings to a person so there has to be respect.

A session girl treating a guy harder because he is a jerk seems dangerous territory. She seemingly has to do it because of the roleplay and because both (or at least one wants this). Not because she actually wants to hurt him.
It can cross quickly in assault or something if that is her motivation.
And it also seems not fun for the session provider if the guy acts like a jerk towards her. The session girl might also feel unsafe being in a room with a guy who acts like a jerk.
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  #32  
Old 22-Apr-21, 04:59
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

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Originally Posted by InTheFlesh86 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Hmm I relate to any of this yet as I'm still working on my first (and maybe only) session. That said, my situation might be a little different as I'm viewing the session as more of a case study or an experiment, rather than a performance or an experience.

I'm actually a little surprised to hear that session wrestlers are even open to being friends with us in real life. Does this even go for the more established girls?
YES, sessiongirls are also human! But the chance that they choose you it's much lesser as the chance that they misuse you. Not every sesssiongirl of course is a bitch, but the rearest are saints!

But as i know some girls a little bit nearer, believe me, they do the same errors as we, fell in love in the false man! That's live and it will NEVER change.
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  #33  
Old 28-Apr-21, 18:58
magnate magnate is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

I guess there is a certain danger or "pitfall" rather of becoming too familiar and pushing the boundaries between the "business/fantasy" aspect and a sincere emotional connection.
At the same time that "maintaining a bit of distance" is important, it is also worthwhile to develop a bit of a rapport with someone if you are in fact going to be a repeat client. Sometimes, the actual session "chemistry" between a hobbyist and his provider can improve from having a bit of a rapport/friendly "acquaintanceship" The trick then, is for both parties to walk that fine line while still maintaining certain boundaries.
I read somewhere that domme work is part theater, part therapy, and partly technique and physicality. I think the same applies to session wrestling.

If you and your provider know too much about each other's personal lives, it does detract from the fantasy aspect of it a bit.
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  #34  
Old 28-Apr-21, 22:13
Junglebeast Junglebeast is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

I’ve sessioned off and on with Dominas and in this century FBBs since my college days in the early 1970s. (I feel old just writing that.) I’ve had more than my share of experiences. The most notable was meeting a woman who did Joan Wise vids, kink, sensual massage etc. and had three or four sessions. Eventually we became lovers. It didn’t turn out well, but not due to her professions, just us.

I’ve been a favored regular and/or friends or friendly with a number of Dominas and FBBs over the years doing sensual role play (“Me junglebeast, you Amazon Queen”) with scissors, hand spanking, light bondage, public play, seduction, body worship (giving and receiving) and I learned to mentally approach sessions this way: I’m there for HER entertainment, as if she hired me to entertain her. It usually meant I gave more than I thought, and the ladies have given more to me than they may have had in mind.

I mentioned this to several ladies I have been close to over the years that, at least my role play, is like an R-rated B-movie of the 1950s, over the top. Or an adult version of DisneyWorld. I’ve helped ladies on their vanilla projects - the ladies had their own businesses. They complained about their family situations, I complained about mine, they comforted me, and I did with them. Even did a video with one. (Never released.) More than a few gave me more privileges than I ever expected... or probably deserved.

I never expect a relationship. Mutual respect and understanding? Sure. But this is an intimate activity for us, and occupation for them. Human emotions come into play no matter the cash involved. I’m thankful for the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had and I hope the ladies I met felt a bit like me.
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  #35  
Old 29-Apr-21, 14:19
bizyz bizyz is offline
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Default Re: 8 Years of Sessions, One Expensive Lesson: Don't be friends with session girls

Why not marry a session wrestler?
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