Do you Consider Yourself an Alpha?

[honeryx]

I rather dislike the terms, but I was consistently identified as "alpha" when younger. Middle age has a way of mellowing things out though.

These aren't terms that someone can self-identify accurately to, it is how others perceive you. And I would state the vast, vast majority of people on this site would fall into the beta or neither category. And that's not a bad thing. I know there is some media hype on alpha but as it is used it's usually a negative connotation in real life (same with the term Chad which is used interchangeably at times).

The proper terminology in this case is probably sexually submissive. There is some of that in most men but moreso on here, at least as a fantasy. I agree with @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] although I'm not sure I'd go so far as to actually want to submit in a wrestling match, but I've never done sessions and am not interested in them anyway. Most women aren't interested in being sexually dominant. And especially if you're "alpha" (again hate that term but for our purposes it's convenient) the women you attract will expect you to be dominant and will be turned off if you're not.

That is why I say being "alpha" isn't even necessarily good. It's better to be "beta" and attract a dominant woman in the first place if you have that desire, and that DOES happen. Those rare women also have trouble finding the men they want, but it's easier when they can identify said man and get together with him. They probably won't go for or consider said alpha male.

[LicensetoKill]

Originally Posted by Zweig [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

Personally, I have always been an epsilon guy

I don't know what this means, but I like it.

Added after 11 minutes:

Reading articles or hearing interviews from dominatrixes, they'll often say that "most" or "many" of their clients are alphas and they often say lawyers are among their most common clients. I'm undecided whether that's cause Alpha's tend to have more money to spend or that they are more drawn to this.

Just to add, when Jennifer gives interviews, she rarely asks "what kind of men pay to see you" because Jennifer gets her questions from the men directly, but when an interviewer or article writer interviews a dominatrix or wrestler, the first question is almost always "what kind of men are your clients" and in those situations "Alphas" maybe not in those words, is almost always the answer.

I'm a beta personality, and yes, they're not absolutes and individuals might sometimes have a tough time seeing themselves as one or the other and most people are a mix of both to some degree, but I'm a pretty clear cut beta, nice guy, kinda quiet and in addition to wresting I like being trampled and sat on, pretty clear alpha female/beta male imagery.

I wouldn't consider myself an alpha or a beta, I enjoy the power dynamic of being both dominant and submissive depending on the situation. I most enjoy a competitive match where the woman is actually better and I am forced to be submissive. My wife is basically the ultimate alpha when it comes to fighting or wrestling so I always end up taking the beta role because I have no choice, although sometimes I would like not to be.

When we are just playing around she actually enjoys having me slap her butt and getting on top of her and playing dominant but if it gets at all competitive she has to prove she is alpha and I have no chance against her. Even though I may be more of a natural beta, I fantasize being alpha against her in a fight because of the competitive dynamic that has developed between us but it is just not physically or psychologically possible for me to not be dominated by her when we are both trying to win.

She dated some naturally alpha guys and they basically couldn't handle that she dominated them in a fight and had to be alpha, so effectively those relationships ended after they realize they would never be alpha with her.

I think she enjoys someone who can handle not being alpha but it is not so beta that they just accept losing to her and will keep trying to win even if they never will, which is basically how I am.

[trump55]

I'm a little bit of both for sure. Female domination excites me but in controlabale way and onlyin private, not any kind of public and nothing extreme.

[Braddogg4345]

I find myself in a similar position to a lot of others here. Growing up, i never considered myself to be an alpha male. I would say that i leaned more towards the beta end of the spectrum. But i did have traits of both alphas and betas.

Today, i still wouldnt consider myself an alpha male, but with the younger western generations of males becoming more and more feminized, i guess i am being pushed more towards the alpha side of the spectrum by default. Or i guess youcould say that i am staying in place, while the spectrum is being shifted around me...if that makes sense.

When it comes to women however, i am an absolute beta. In the bedroom, on the wrestling mats, and in public life.

I guess i posted this topic because i really dont know where i fall on the spectrum. I typically act like a beta, but a lot of times, my alpha side does come out. So i dont know if that is something that just happens from time to time instinctively, or if i am actually an alpha male trying to foolmyself into thinking i am a beta male.

Added after 11 minutes:

Originally Posted by XOL [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

I live in Florida and I have had a number of Latina girlfriends and they come from a culture that places a lot of emphasis on machismo and male strength. I did fine with those girls and they can be fairly difficult to control (lmao). In the bedroom with them, I did fine and felt like most of them liked me to kind of call the shots, so to speak. With that said, I never really felt totally comfortable in those relationships with the Latinas as I always felt, truth be told, like I was exhausted from trying to keep up with them. Now with more "vanilla" all American white girls, I feel that I have almost always been the dominant one in the relationship.

My wife is latina, and unfortunately, she grew up with the same stereotypical values that women should be subservient to men. I could tell from early on however, that my wife had a dominant side. i think a lot of latina women have dominant, alpha type personalities that are suppressed by their cultural norms.

Today, i am definitely the subservient one in our relationship. I do most of the cooking and cleaning, i serve my wife meals, i basically take on the stereotypical “woman’s” role in our relationship. However, when we go to family gatherings on her side of the family, she feels like she needs to play the part of the subservient wife just to fit into what her family expects of her.

[georgejohnson]

I definitely feel "beta" by nature but I'm also fairly secure in who I am so I don't know where that falls. I'm not somebody who needs to be loud / calling all the shots / pissing all over the place. Not outspoken, life-of-the-party or anything like that.

In relationships, I don't feel right at all with an overly submissive woman outside the bedroom. In the bedroom, I like to switch in a relationship. I'm drawn to more of a Mulder/Scully dynamic otherwise.