Go Back   Male vs Female | The Mixed Wrestling Forum > Community > General Discussion [Off-Topic]



Check out the latest release by Fight Pulse: Zoe vs Christian (humiliation finish).
Preview photos are available in this topic. Get this video at: Fight Pulse - MX-238.




Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 13-Nov-22, 19:37
shepinhim's Avatar
shepinhim shepinhim is offline
Member
Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51
Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Gender: Male
Location: New York
Posts: 624
Thanks: 22
Thanked 2,055 Times in 508 Posts
Default Re: Dominant Women

Jennifer Williams

The BDSM Lounge - Dominant's Dungeon
01-23-2010 from Thread: New Domme


The first key to being a Mistress is to remember the greatest Trick- the little subs are who are in control! Being a Domme is such hard work, because you have to give them what they need, what they want, what they crave- all the while under the illusion that it is really what You want and what You crave. You have to pay so close attention to their cues, their body language, their face, their voice. It is so difficult to know if you are doing it right, because so often they can't tell you! Especially men, who are naturally bad at communicating in the first place (that is not meant to be an insult!), in my experience they need so, so much encouragement in order for you to get them to tell you what they need! Or you can figure it out through trial and error (one day he tried to get up and I just naturally pushed him down with my knee on his chest and he squeaked "more knees, please..." but you don't usually get that lucky).

Just remember that especially when starting off new, but always, you have to have to communicate. Maybe they can't talk during a session; then talk before, talk after. Ask him afterward, simply, "how did it go?" I can't tell you how many times he's said "I wish you would do ____ more." and I was totally surprised! And I've been with my little one for four years. Hope this advice does help!

P.S.- Sometimes it helps them if you encourage them to phrase it as begging rather than asking (Example: "Please, Mistress, please please bite my cock I'll do anything for you if you bite my cock." (gives you all the power, while still letting you know what they need) rather than just "I wish you would bite my cock more." <- that is scary for them))

Hmmmm... maybe I have misphrased myself. At no point did I mean to misconstrue that the Domme did not get her needs and desires fulfilled! I suppose I just took it for granted that of course that goes without saying! What I meant to say was that a very good dominant is able to get the needs of both people satisfied (if she so desires).

For example, my little one absolutely loves, loves, loves to be suffocated. Some days I may make him beg for it, or complete tasks where that is the prize. Other days he may be punished by choking, but either way it turns him on to delicious levels. If he is very bad, he may not get it at all. But since I am the one in control, I need to be the one paying attention, making sure we do not go too far- because he will allow himself to get passed out (scary!) That was what I meant by paying attention to cues.

Yes, that is what I meant. True deliciousness comes when both partners have their "needs" met, and what that is depends completely on the individual. In my general experience, subs need to know that their dominant is in control, not them. The subs I have known get terribly frightened and frustrated if they believe they have any sort of control, even for a moment. So even if a dominant decides they want to do something that they know the sub likes, they need to present it in a way that still keeps all of the power of the situation in the dominant's hands. That was what I meant by "trick"- that is the hardest part of being a dominant.

I've often thought of it this way- the sub has control over whether they consent (if you take that away then it is abuse), and they have the power of their safe word if they need it to end, and everything else in between is Mine.

As I said, I just phrased it badly. Illusion was a poor choice of words; what I was trying to say was this: my sub likes to be tied up on the floor, I prefer him tied to the bed posts (mmm...so sexy). Some days I'm going for my pleasure and he gets tied to the bed. Other days, my real goal is his pleasure, so I will tie him up on the floor- but I don't say "Let's do things your way today and I'll tie you on the floor", no, he'd go soft in ten seconds and probably cry, if I said that. Instead I'll say "You don't deserve a nice soft bed, get your ass on the floor under Mistress's feet, where you belong." And then he gets nice and hard and his ears get all red and that does please me, plenty! So it's not the activity (where he's tied) that matters as much as his mindset (believing that absolutely everything I do is always for my own selfish pleasure, when that is not quite always true).

I do hope that makes it more clear!

I have said things like that, too. But I suppose it is hair-splitting, since lots of things I say during play are "untruths", but don't we all do this? I might tell him he's worthless because I know he wants to hear it and it feels damn good to say, but I don't really actually think that, and he knows it. It works the other way, too: he might say "Yes, Mistress, please more" to lots of things he doesn't really want more of- because he wants to please me, so he says what he knows I want to hear.

I think though that is part of what makes it so good: the playing pretend. Also, what you might like to hear will be different from what someone else wants to hear (trust me, "not deserving" is a line that will get him really turned on, really fast). And that is what I mean by being a good Domme; knowing what to say to your sub that makes the best experience for everyone, not just yourself.

PS- I love hearing things from another sub's point of view, I've been with mine for such a long time, this is fun!

You could maybe increase the daily email to a paragraph or two and require him to tell you about his day, every day, like a journal entry. And I don't think you should let days missed slide, unless you approved ahead of time (or if you want to give a pre-approved list of "permitted reasons emails can be missed", or something like that).

The first step towards control is just plain learning about the person. The greater the detail, the greater the control. You can increase the necessary detail as you go. For example, you can start with "I ate lunch at one o'clock" as being acceptable, then after a few of those require what was eaten for lunch, then why that meal was chosen, then after doing that for awhile you'll get to know his routine so you can alter it.

That's just one example. Food is an easy thing because you know a person has to do it every day. Same with sleeping, peeing, getting dressed, etc.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 14-Nov-22, 02:28
shepinhim's Avatar
shepinhim shepinhim is offline
Member
Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51
Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Gender: Male
Location: New York
Posts: 624
Thanks: 22
Thanked 2,055 Times in 508 Posts
Default Re: Dominant Women

Jennifer Williams

The BDSM Lounge - Dominant's Dungeon
06-04-2010 from Thread: Knots and good ideas for line vs. rope.


[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

I use soft cotton rope that can be found in any hardware store, not coated with anything because that can cause slipping. As for preventing circulation loss and for turning a rope into ankle/wrist restraints, wrap the rope many times around the ankle/wrist instead of just once, neatly in a coil, without crossing it over itself. Also take care to make sure that no knots press against the skin, because that also can put pressure which could reduce circulation and cause discomfort (probably not the kind you want).

My personal favorite for tying ends of ropes to bedposts/bed frames is the constrictor knot, featured in my avatar It's easy to tie and does not slip.

01-31-2010 from Thread: What if the sub feels naughty and wants to dominate you?

I think it's a matter of taste. I'll have my sub "dominate" me for a little while during play sometimes; on rare occasions he'll actually ask to do it; it's usually short-lived because the minute we get too turned on, there he is on the bottom almost by accident, but it's still a fun game we like to play.

We both trust each other implicitly and we both know who is in charge, so I suppose for us, it is just a fun game.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 16-Nov-22, 03:08
shepinhim's Avatar
shepinhim shepinhim is offline
Member
Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51
Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Gender: Male
Location: New York
Posts: 624
Thanks: 22
Thanked 2,055 Times in 508 Posts
Default Re: Dominant Women

Divine Bitches 37131 (2014) - at the time Maitresse Madeline 37 years old, Cherry Torn 28 years old, Micky Mackenzie 20 years old

Name: Maitresse Madeline Marlowe
Height: 5′8
Weight: 123
Hair: Blonde
Eye: Green
DOB: July 31, 1977
Birthplace: Michigan, USA

Name: Cherry Torn
Height: 5′7
Weight: 120
Hair: Blonde
Eye: Blue
DOB: July 29, 1986
Birthplace: South Carolina, USA

Name: Micky Mackenzie
Height: 5′9
Weight: 145
Hair: Blonde
Eye: Green
DOB: July 22, 1994
Birthplace: Onyx, CA
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Maitresse Madeline cherry torn and sub.jpg (166.1 KB, 27 views)
File Type: jpg Cherry torn and sub.jpg (149.4 KB, 27 views)
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to shepinhim For This Useful Post:
  #14  
Old 22-Nov-22, 01:59
shepinhim's Avatar
shepinhim shepinhim is offline
Member
Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51 Points: 13,874, Level: 51
Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9% Activity: 57.9%
Last Achievements
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Gender: Male
Location: New York
Posts: 624
Thanks: 22
Thanked 2,055 Times in 508 Posts
Default Re: Dominant Women

Jennifer Williams:

The BDSM Lounge - Submissive's Couch
08-12-2010 from Thread: What is the most embarrassing situation you’ve ever been in during BDSM play?


Haha, being too loud is a thing to be proud of! But...I guess there's a time and a place for everything.

I forgot about this, but when I first went away to college I had a boyfriend for all of three weeks, when I bit his neck too hard and marked him good. He was mortified, wouldn't come out of his room for two days, and promptly dumped me for being a "freak" (though he was fine with being tied up and bitten before that *shrugs*). I would like to say I've never gotten carried away since then...but I did learn my lesson fairly well, I think. *blushes* His room mate gave me weird looks for the next year or so...

05-18-2010 from Thread: When did you first know

I was five years old when I had fantasies about the boys in my kindergarten class being naked and tied up with the ropes our teacher used to hang the class art from. I told such fantasies to another girl in my class and the face she made let me know this was the kind of thought I should keep to myself.

I was also five when I pestered my mother about where babies came from until she confirmed my suspicions about what exactly sex was. And then of course I wanted to go and try it and she freaked out...didn't get that opportunity for quite a few years after that, lol.

It's funny that I never thought that there was anything wrong with me, but I also didn't know that other people had such desires until I was in high school, and I didn't know such desires had names until the beautiful internet came along.

So very true; the road I took to get where I am was long and painful and included a lot of broken hearts; yet when I look back I don't see how I could have done it differently since I had to learn what I know the hard way.

Still, the phrase "I always knew I was different" rings true as I remember things like teenage sleepovers where everyone talked about their perfect date or whatever and I had to keep my real fantasies to myself while I made up some drivel about walks on beaches.

I had about a million "inklings", and now when I look back at those moments from my early years I do often find myself thinking, "Oh, so that's why I felt that way." So I know exactly what you're talking about!

05-14-2010 from Thread: How do you handle it when your Dom's not in the mood?

It sounds to me like his "not in the mood" mood has lasted for a short period of time. If that is the case, just wait till it passes.

Sometimes it can be very difficult to be patient. I know; patience is a thing I have no experience with. Though it happened only once, there was a time that I was not in the mood and my sub was very in the mood. He pestered me to the point that it got annoying and I yelled at him and we had a huge argument, and I said to him "I don't think I have ever told you 'no' before, so if I'm saying 'no' then I fucking mean it!" It wasn't pretty. He apologized for days. He never got pushy with me again. It is as you described; I can probably count on one hand the number of times in a year I don't feel like sex. Most of the time I want it and he might not, but that's not important, I get it anyway. But those are our natures.

We doms are not like subs. You don't tell us what to do. Don't push a dom unless you want to be pushed back. Expect to be pushed hard and in unpleasant ways.

Or, you can just be patient. He'll want you.

You could possibly also ask for permission to masturbate; that might give him relief if he's feeling guilty about not being "in the mood", and it will help you tide over.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to shepinhim For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ten most dominant moves or holds, women over men nivlem99 Wrestling & Fighting Discussion 2 07-Sep-21 18:42
dominant black women bartos Female Domination Art 2 08-Nov-20 11:43
Some very dominant women Dct Flatt Wrestling & Fighting Art 8 30-Jun-20 05:40
I've been a slave for dominant women since I was 20...ask me anything zfeld Female Domination Discussion 30 15-Feb-17 06:56
I'm excited by real life dominant women - which education produces the most of those? Mahoni Female Domination Discussion 2 07-Nov-14 13:09


All times are GMT. The time now is 18:53.


Powered by vBulletin® - Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.