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  #351  
Old 15-Jan-21, 10:21
subdued10 subdued10 is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

I think my desire to be physically subdued by women is hard-wired. I know that I had fantasies of being dominated by girls at a very early age. I clearly remember one detailed fantasy I had when I was 5 years old.

I also remember watching two girls wrestle when I was 6 years old. One girl got the other in a schoolgirl pin and I found myself secretly wanting to be the one who was pinned down.

I have no desire to be psychologically dominated in a relationship. I especially don't want to have to take orders from anyone.

I am 100% heterosexual. I think if I had any homosexual tendencies then I would want men to dominate me in wrestling too, but I have zero interest in that.

An interesting side note: I didn't know that I was also aroused by dominating a woman until I was 24 years old and got into a relationship with a 33 year old woman who was mostly submissive. She fantasized about being raped. Many of our sexual encounters were role-play where we would wrestle and take turns raping each other.
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  #352  
Old 18-Jan-21, 23:19
BSF BSF is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

I haven't read the whole thread, but I do suggest to those of you who are genuinely interested about this, to go talk to a therapist.

From some posts that I've read I get the feeling that many of the posters tend to believe their "fetish" is a mystery, something that can't be explained, something that they're born with.

I thought the same.

Then I decided to go see a psychotherapist. It turns out, there are people who do study these things quite a bit. Psychotherapists in general will give you a lot of information about how your sexuality works, but even more so will those of them specialized in sexuology.

You will be amazed by how many of the things you thought were impossible to explain or just random, can actually be explained. However, it will not happen overnight. It will be a long journey.

Two hints:

* What we think is "hardwired", is often actually related to our childhood rather than genetic; childhood can mean as early as the first year of our life; a lot of things happen extremely early.

* Fetishes are often defense mechanisms that our brain implements with a rather precise purpose, but then even when that purpose is not there anymore, the defense mechanism continues to operate because it has become a habit and a mindset that has a life of its own.
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  #353  
Old 19-Jan-21, 11:04
calvin0 calvin0 is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

I'm starting to think that, because I enjoy the things that I do, it's actually a call to get back into good physical shape. I figure ladies that are into the aggressive sort of foreplay actually hang out at gyms. At bars, I end up running into depressed cougars that end up being there for the check-in-the-box.

Added after 14 minutes:

I'm no therapist, but statistically most of the men that pay for session wrestling are gentlemen of power and influence. They spend most of their week running the financial or political world and want to cut loose, be controlled and told what to do during a few short hours before they actually go back to their families. According to reports, the ladies that service wrestling session clients indicate that most are high level CEOs or political figures. Apparently it levels them out for the week... which in hindsight allows them to make shit decisions that effect the whole world. Namaste...?

Last edited by calvin0; 19-Jan-21 at 11:04.
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  #354  
Old 19-Jan-21, 17:03
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

like a whole lotta people here, i blame my childhood for my fetish. my older sister used to put me in tight schoolgirl pins all the time. after a while, i thought "yo this would be hot if it was a different woman doing this to me," and BAM, my fetish became awakened

i still would rather not wrestle my sister though
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Old 19-Jan-21, 18:09
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  #355  
Old 19-Jan-21, 19:05
walrus21 walrus21 is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

... statistically most of the men that pay for session wrestling are gentlemen of power and influence. ... According to reports, the ladies that service wrestling session clients indicate that most are high level CEOs or political figures.



Can you share these statistics and/or reports? thanks
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  #356  
Old 19-Jan-21, 19:45
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

I have heard that a lot also. They better be rich these women charge a L O T of money.
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  #357  
Old 19-Jan-21, 20:34
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Shado Shado is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

I know I have said this before, but that never stops me ...

One problem with trying to analyze "this fetish" is that it isn't one fetish, or even a fetish at all, depending on how you want to define that term. It's a huge range of interests, turn ons and turn offs, and fetishes, that can very broadly be thrown together under the general umbrella of ... well, even that gets tricky. Strong Women? Men and Women physically competing? Fighting? Female domination? It's not easy to even come up with an umbrella term.

For some, it involves literal wrestling or marital arts or boxing, or some other sport. For some, that element may be there but it is much much more overtly sexual, and for still others, it is PRIMARILY sexual, almost sexual combat. For some, there is the desire to contemplate direct, explicit, and often savage violence - broken bones, bloodletting, sadistic harm - and for others that element is rare or even a turn off. For some, there is the desire for humiliation, even truly cruel humiliation, and for others there is instead a playful, sly atmosphere. For some, a key element is women with extreme muscular development and/or size, for others it is a less extreme athleticism/tone, and for still others, that element isn't a key factor. For some, there is a strong preference for certain body parts to be brought into play, in great detail (if we are talking stories) or great visual detail (if pictures or movies). For some, there is a powerful preference for the woman to be an actual killer and for others that thought would make them recoil.

Sorry for going on and on, but what I see is a wide range of different flavors, preferences, turn ons, interests, and yes, fetishes, that can be lumped together under a very broad heading. It is kind of like the term "female domination" in general - it covers a LOT.

I am not suggesting people shouldn't examine their interests, if they are curious. I AM suggesting that I'd be very suspicious of any blanket answers. I'd also be very suspicious of any easy answers as I think people are very very very complex creatures (in some ways) and it is rare to be able to easily say "And that is why you are the way you are" (although sometimes...yeah).

I'd also suggest that unless it is causing actual harm in your life - sabotaging relationships, or making real time relationships an impossibility, or causing you to spend money you really don't have, or crippling you with guilt - it isn't something you should WORRY about. Easier said than done, for some, I know - being TOLD "don't worry" doesn't allow you to magically flip a switch. Just saying that human sexuality is a wild and varied thing, and honestly most of those "normal" people you think are out there have some interests that would probably surprise you, if you knew of them. Maybe not YOUR interests, and I concede some interests are more rare than others, but... "sexually normal" is in and of itself a complicated term to define. So... again, for what it is worth, with some caveats, I'd say cut yourself some slack, and enjoy.

PS - I'd be a little careful about assuming that "most men who want to be dominated are in high pressure/high stress jobs, often well paying jobs with a lot of power". Those kinds of guys are, maybe, just the kind of guys who can afford to pay "professionals" to act out their fantasies.
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  #358  
Old 20-Jan-21, 12:02
james james is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

‘... statistically most of the men that pay for session wrestling are gentlemen of power and influence. ... According to reports, the ladies that service wrestling session clients indicate that most are high level CEOs or political figures.’

What a load of bullshit that is, so where’s any proof of this whatsoever?
Most men who pay girls to carry out their fetish exaggerate their status, “yes I’m a lawyer/businessman blah blah big me up”.

And if this was the case most of the men on this Forum would be ‘..gentlemen of power and influence. ...most are high level CEOs or political figures.’
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  #359  
Old 20-Jan-21, 16:15
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qwertyuio qwertyuio is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Quote:
Originally Posted by james [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
‘... statistically most of the men that pay for session wrestling are gentlemen of power and influence. ... According to reports, the ladies that service wrestling session clients indicate that most are high level CEOs or political figures.’

What a load of bullshit that is, so where’s any proof of this whatsoever?
Most men who pay girls to carry out their fetish exaggerate their status, “yes I’m a lawyer/businessman blah blah big me up”.

And if this was the case most of the men on this Forum would be ‘..gentlemen of power and influence. ...most are high level CEOs or political figures.’
Lol, yeah that is definitely bullshit. I'm sure there are many successful men who session with these girls but "MOST" is definitely not true. They are probably just more memorable. A girl is going to remember beating up a CEO more than she is some bum off the street. The majority of clients in this scene can barely afford sessions, constantly try to cut deals, and many pay with their tax refunds.
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  #360  
Old 21-Jan-21, 22:52
BSF BSF is offline
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Default Re: Why we have this fetish

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shado [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I know I have said this before, but that never stops me ...

One problem with trying to analyze "this fetish" is that it isn't one fetish, or even a fetish at all, depending on how you want to define that term. It's a huge range of interests, turn ons and turn offs, and fetishes, that can very broadly be thrown together under the general umbrella of ... well, even that gets tricky. Strong Women? Men and Women physically competing? Fighting? Female domination? It's not easy to even come up with an umbrella term.

For some, it involves literal wrestling or marital arts or boxing, or some other sport. For some, that element may be there but it is much much more overtly sexual, and for still others, it is PRIMARILY sexual, almost sexual combat. For some, there is the desire to contemplate direct, explicit, and often savage violence - broken bones, bloodletting, sadistic harm - and for others that element is rare or even a turn off. For some, there is the desire for humiliation, even truly cruel humiliation, and for others there is instead a playful, sly atmosphere. For some, a key element is women with extreme muscular development and/or size, for others it is a less extreme athleticism/tone, and for still others, that element isn't a key factor. For some, there is a strong preference for certain body parts to be brought into play, in great detail (if we are talking stories) or great visual detail (if pictures or movies). For some, there is a powerful preference for the woman to be an actual killer and for others that thought would make them recoil.

Sorry for going on and on, but what I see is a wide range of different flavors, preferences, turn ons, interests, and yes, fetishes, that can be lumped together under a very broad heading. It is kind of like the term "female domination" in general - it covers a LOT.

I am not suggesting people shouldn't examine their interests, if they are curious. I AM suggesting that I'd be very suspicious of any blanket answers. I'd also be very suspicious of any easy answers as I think people are very very very complex creatures (in some ways) and it is rare to be able to easily say "And that is why you are the way you are" (although sometimes...yeah).

I'd also suggest that unless it is causing actual harm in your life - sabotaging relationships, or making real time relationships an impossibility, or causing you to spend money you really don't have, or crippling you with guilt - it isn't something you should WORRY about. Easier said than done, for some, I know - being TOLD "don't worry" doesn't allow you to magically flip a switch. Just saying that human sexuality is a wild and varied thing, and honestly most of those "normal" people you think are out there have some interests that would probably surprise you, if you knew of them. Maybe not YOUR interests, and I concede some interests are more rare than others, but... "sexually normal" is in and of itself a complicated term to define. So... again, for what it is worth, with some caveats, I'd say cut yourself some slack, and enjoy.

PS - I'd be a little careful about assuming that "most men who want to be dominated are in high pressure/high stress jobs, often well paying jobs with a lot of power". Those kinds of guys are, maybe, just the kind of guys who can afford to pay "professionals" to act out their fantasies.

Your post makes a lot of sense.

However, one thing that needs to be said, is that many fetishes, despite being different from one another in the details, actually fall under the same "tent". And are generated by the same mechanisms.

For instance, most (if not all, quite frankly) of the content you'll find on this forum relates to the general topic of "power games/role plays". I'm not sure what's the correct way to say this in english. But basically playing games in which one person has power over another person.

The dominant person doesn't have to be of one specific gender, it can go both ways and even between same-sex couple...and it can even be changing all the time ("competitive" wrestling). But there's a reason we watch wrestling videos and not, say, "mixed football" or "mixed basketball". It's because fighting allows this role playing about power.

So while we might get a bit lost ourselves in the details of this (someone likes it more competitive, someone more one sided, someone wants a dominant man, someone a dominant woman, someone is fixated with one particular position or attire etc), the fundamentals are largely similar for most people.

You are completely right on the "blanket answer" thing though. People can have same/similar fetishes for very different reasons. Sharing a fetish doesn't mean sharing personality traits or type of job or anything like that.
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