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Old 22-Feb-20, 14:13
Stirlingbloomingdale Stirlingbloomingdale is offline
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Default Slightly off topic - Real Life Femdom murder

Fascinating story out of Iowa USA. A 41 year old Asian college professor has been charged with 1st degree kidnapping and murder. Lots of conflicting information here, sounds like a consensual bdsm game that ended in tragedy, but the police have charged her with first degree murder. Important to note that in America first degree murder implies premeditation. They are implying this was no accident, she fully intended to kill him.

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Here’s a brief summary and the conflicting parts:

Around 10:30am She allegedly zip tied his hands and feet before rope tying him to a chair at their home. Personally I don’t see how she did this without his consent? She’s not a powerful woman.

She proceeded to stuff a garment in his mouth, duct tape his mouth closed, and then also covered his head with a towel, duct taping it in place. So far this sounds like normal bdsm stuff. Little bit of gagging with sensory deprivation. I kind of enjoy it myself.

Here’s where the information released by the police gets very dodgy. According to reports he stayed this way until at least 5pm (6 hours) and at that time became distressed and asked to be released, his wife ignored his requests. Not sure how you can ask for anything with your mouth stuffed with cloth and taped shut. So that aspect of the story doesn’t add up. More importantly what the hell else was happening for the past 6 hours?!?

Around 6:30pm she calls police to report an unconscious person at her home, they arrive to find her attempting CPR, and find that she has attempted to hide the rope/zip ties. He’s dead on arrival at the hospital. As to why they are calling it a murder, they have only said he had “ligature marks on this throat and neck” and that his wounds “were not self inflicted”.

This will be fascinating to see how it plays out. Her mug shot in the linked article is not a flattering photo, but if you google her she’s pretty attractive in other pics. If she intended to kill him all along, did she lure him into the trap by suggesting it would be a simple bondage experience? And most intriguing, what was she doing for 6 hours? Torturing the guy? Did she strangle him? Did he slowly asphyxiate? So many questions!

Last edited by Stirlingbloomingdale; 22-Feb-20 at 16:18.
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Old 22-Feb-20, 14:53
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Default Re: Slightly off topic - Real Life Femdom murder

Moved to Femdom discussion
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Old 16-Mar-20, 00:02
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Default Re: Slightly off topic - Real Life Femdom murder

Reading the article, it definitely doesn't sound like she intended to kill him. Stuffing a sock in someone's mouth and wrapping a towel around their head wouldn't normally kill somebody.

My first thought was that maybe she tied the towel too tight around his neck and accidentally strangled him, because he had ligature marks on his neck. But you say that hours later he was asking to be released. If she had accidentally strangled him he would have been dead in 5-10 minutes.

But on the other hand, just gagging him and taping a towel over his head shouldn't leave ligature marks, so she must have strangled him at some point.

To me it sounds like an accident. But who knows? I'm sure the police will investigate to see if they can find some kind of motive. They can also examine the timeline between the time that he died, and the time 911 was called, etc (i watch a lot of forensic files!). I would think that if the guy willingly volunteered to this act, murder will be very hard to prove.
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Old 19-Mar-20, 19:53
Stirlingbloomingdale Stirlingbloomingdale is offline
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Default Re: Slightly off topic - Real Life Femdom murder

The police have revealed they have a photo of the victim taken around 5pm, where his face suggests he was very much in distress, about an hour before he was “discovered” laying face down on the floor with the chair tied to his back. The wife now says she fell asleep watching a movie prior to finding him face down.

The defense is playing this angle - he’s an abusive husband and this lady tied him up with his consent to keep him from being violent.

My take - it was a kinky game of S&M, where she had him restrained and his breathing restricted. Part of the game was choking him with a ligature. After taking the picture she did fall asleep (although I doubt it was after one glass of champagne, more likely several glasses) during this time he unexpectedly blacked out due to lack of oxygen and exhaustion, falling face down with the chair tied to his back. This made a bad situation worse, and he probably suffocated laying face down on the floor.

It’ll be very interesting to see how it plays out in court.
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Old 19-Mar-20, 21:44
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Default Re: Slightly off topic - Real Life Femdom murder

Your version sounds a lot more reasonable than the defenses argument. I don’t think any “abusive” husband would volunteer to be tied up to prevent him from beating his wife. If it really were an accident, why wouldn’t the defense just come out and say it was an accident though? I am guessing they will reach a manslaughter plea deal and she will do a few years locked up.
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Old 20-Mar-20, 13:44
Stirlingbloomingdale Stirlingbloomingdale is offline
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Default Re: Slightly off topic - Real Life Femdom murder

Yep, probably shooting for manslaughter rather than negligent homicide.

I’ve been in similar circumstances, securely bound, breathing restricted, but never for more than minutes. I think this was a game they both enjoyed that went way too far, likely pushing his limits further and further each time they did it. The restraints alone can be dangerous, it severely limits your circulation to be tied like that, I can only imagine how agonizing it would be for 5+ hours. He probably freaked out, started begging her to stop through his muffled cries and she instead pushed him further, deeply aroused to be taking him far beyond his breaking point. She admitted to drinking champagne, throw in some weed and/or pills and it could further explain her lack of good sense in the moment.

I think that after 5 hours of being tied up, barely able to breath either he went out cold and fell face down which led to the asphyxiation. Or perhaps he bucked around so hard trying to free himself that he fell forward, making his situation a lot more dire and she didn’t realize until it was too late.

Last edited by Stirlingbloomingdale; 20-Mar-20 at 13:55.
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