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Old 21-Dec-20, 23:10
Gatsby87 Gatsby87 is offline
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Default Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

A few years back I delved into my city’s BDSM scene, looking to explore some of my fetishes (I kind of put mixed grappling and fighting as a part of BDSM) and to meet people. I went to several munches (gatherings of people in public places like bars to hang out and socialize), met some new friends and even went to a couple parties, but I never really found anyone who was into wrestling or the like (one of my play partners was mentoring a woman who was going to make me a human punching bag to practice becoming a pro domme, and was actually a session wrestler for maybe a year, but that never came to fruition). Eventually, and ACL surgery took me out of the “wrestling scene” and I haven’t gone back, and with COVID still around there are no munches and other events anyway.

My question for all of you is if any of you found people interested in wrestling/fighting in your community’s kink scene. It seems to be rather uncommon when compared to things like bondage, leather, etc. There is a wrestling, grappling and struggle play Fetlife group, but that doesn’t get too much activity: most of it is either single men unsuccessfully looking for wrestling partners, or pro dommes and session wrestlers selling their services.
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Old 21-Dec-20, 23:17
funwrestler funwrestler is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

Fully agree with you regarding Fetlife. What a shame.

Mixed and female wrestling and BDSM do not seem to attract the same type of people, as weird as it may sound. Looking forward to getting more feedback on that too from other members here.
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Old 21-Dec-20, 23:39
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wyldesguy wyldesguy is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

I am in the swinging lifestyle and this is where I have a found a few women interested in wrestling. Now, there is frequently a number people who cross over between BDSM and swinging, but as the OP has stated, oddly, not many in the BDSM world, have any interest in wrestling. If you are searching for someone just to beat you up, you may find a few here and there. If you are looking for something more competitive, erotic, or sexual, it is highly unlikely to find them in the BDSM world. Most women are either Domme's and are completely disinterested in anyone who may "fight" back, or they are subs who are completely disinterested in being an aggressor in any way. On fetlife there are many women around who are interested in wrestling....with other women only in most cases.

Since entering the swinging lifestyle I have met or talked to 15 women interested in wrestling, even if it is a first for them, they are willing to try. Now 15 may not seem like a lot, especially since we have been in this lifestyle for a little over 11 years. However, compared to what I was able to actively find before then, its an astonishing amount. I have managed to actually wrestle with 5 of them, and am waiting on this pandemic to be reduced to a safe zone, for 2 others to meet.

NOW!! Yes I have a major advantage in that I am the general manager of a large swingers club in Toronto. But I am at a huge disadvantage in that I am in Canada, and there has never been as many women interested to erotic wrestling here as there has been in the U.S.

But I would definitely suggest searching swingers sites as opposed to the places you have been searching...you never know.
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Old 22-Dec-20, 01:26
Fsfan407 Fsfan407 is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

I remember finding exactly ONE woman on a dating app that mentioned that she used to wrestle and added something to the effect of “and no, I WONT wrestle you.” Didn’t stop me from sending a polite greeting, which went wholly unanswered. Oh well. C’est la vie.
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Old 22-Dec-20, 01:52
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DiabloNYC DiabloNYC is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatsby87 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
My question for all of you is if any of you found people interested in wrestling/fighting in your community’s kink scene. It seems to be rather uncommon when compared to things like bondage, leather, etc.
Absolutely! Yes!

I met VeVe Lane many years ago when she came to a BDSM community event I was working. This was before she'd gotten involved in the wrestling scene at all. We met at that kink event, and I mentioned that I'd be hosting a wrestling corner at a different fetish event later that night. She showed up later to that second event, curious to give fetish wrestling a try, and, well, a lot of stuff happened from there

Aralia came to one of my fetish-community wrestling parties many years ago, before she got into the wrestling scene. She was already involved with the BDSM scene, and she was very interested in wrestling and struggle play. Fast forward a few years, and she jumped in full steam.

I met Cat Wily and Ursa Fierce via FetLife, before they were officially involved in the wrestling scene. I also met Clobberetta through connections in the BDSM/kink community before she jumped more fully into the wrestling realm.

I met a pro domme named Mistress Psyche many years ago when she observed a wrestling scene I had at a fetish party. She immediately fell in love with fetish wrestling then and there and started coming to wrestling practices.

And these are just a few examples of folks I've met at kink / BDSM events who were interested in wrestling and fetish-community wrestling. I've met so many people through the kink community who are into wrestling/fighting! But I did most of my meetings years ago. (and as a little bit of trivia there too: I was the one who originally made the Wrestling, Grappling, and Struggle Play group on FetLife over a decade ago, on an old now-defunct account!)

-------------------
Also to add:

I've done a lot of "public" wrestling and struggle play at fetish events. I've also hosted wrestling play areas within existing BDSM events and have presented wrestling-related workshops with local kink organization. So, that has all helped a lot with meeting people within the kink scene who are curious about wrestling play. After a scene or workshop, people have approached with questions about how they too could get into this sort of play.

It's tough if you don't have at least one partner to dive in with you, but if you can be seen wrestling at a play party and are open to being approached, that can help a lot with meeting others who may have a budding interest. Granted, yes, this global pandemic has put a real damper on play party potential these days.
.
..........
By the way, @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], what city are you in?
.

Last edited by DiabloNYC; 22-Dec-20 at 03:30.
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Old 22-Dec-20, 12:53
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kyguy2016 kyguy2016 is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

My local kink community (Louisville, Kentucky, U.S.A.) started up three-monthly primal parties for people who wanted to wrestle and they were being well attended (both men and women) until COVID shut us down for now. Hopefully when we start up again in the new year, we'll have them going again. I was pleasantly surprised just how many women we had who were interested in doing it.
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Old 22-Dec-20, 21:59
Gatsby87 Gatsby87 is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

Thanks everybody for all the replies!

Wyldesguy: That’s interesting how the swingers community has more people interested in wrestling/fighting than the BDSM community. And it’s cool that you manage a large swinger’s club over there!

DiabloNYC: Small world that I mention the Wrestling, Grappling and Struggle Play Fetlife group and lo and behold, you’re the creator of it! And I had no idea that VeVe Lane learned about session wrestling at a BDSM event. That does give me some hope if I decide to go back to my local community after COVID.

And for privacy purposes I won’t say exactly where I live, but I will say that I like in a medium-sized U.S. city with a metro population in the low to mid 2 million. I actually have a partner now, and she mentioned an interest in checking some of the communities here when things start back up. Hell, I might even bring that up to event organizers and see if they will be interested in letting me run wrestling events.

Kyguy2016: That’s super rad! Glad to hear you had success with your primal parties and I hope that they come back when this pandemic is over. UGH. Stupid COVID!
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Old 23-Dec-20, 13:58
NewYork NewYork is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

Being from NY the obvious answer is yes. Surprisingly, it was easier before computers to find women to wrestle. The only way to get to know anyone was to actually meet in person at play events. I was obv much younger so it was much easier to date/wrestle girls in the scene.

I actually found most of my success on AOL groups chats! I met a few girls through that. I tried some local munches but it never really took. To be blunt, I was older and if there was ever an attractive women, she was with another man. Obviously all the parties are on hold, but the wild ones in NY died out 15 or so years ago. I prefer the wild and crazy parties to the more tame and professional parties that go on in today's world (and I'm not just talking fetish).
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Old 23-Dec-20, 23:57
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DiabloNYC DiabloNYC is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatsby87 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I actually have a partner now, and she mentioned an interest in checking some of the communities here when things start back up. Hell, I might even bring that up to event organizers and see if they will be interested in letting me run wrestling events.
Having a current partner who's down for "exhibition" play at community events is SO helpful. That's great to hear she's interested in checking some of the events.

If you can prove to the community organizers that you are safe and responsible, being able to run wrestling events, mini-events, or play areas could be handy! But, warning, it can be a lot of seemingly thankless work. Especially in the beginning. But that's much like any volunteer community organizing activity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYork [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Surprisingly, it was easier before computers to find women to wrestle. The only way to get to know anyone was to actually meet in person at play events.
[...]
Obviously all the parties are on hold, but the wild ones in NY died out 15 or so years ago. I prefer the wild and crazy parties to the more tame and professional parties that go on in today's world (and I'm not just talking fetish).
I hate to be one of those "back in the day, it was better" people, but I have to knee-jerk agree with NewYork here. The adventurous BDSM / fetish party scene here in NYC has changed a lot over the last decade+ Things *seem* less wild, less "let's just go and see what happens," less "who will I meet tonight?" Several parties I have gone to in recent years have had pre-party vetting processes, bright lighting, people only being interested in interacting with the people they arrived with or already know.

I'm not going to go off on a theory-tangent on why this is, but I do notice it. Not sure if this is an NYC-specific thing, or if it is happening elsewhere too.

Anyway, back to wrestle-play:

It's also tough when parties and events do not have physical space for wrestling play. Granted, primal play is becoming more popular, which is great for wrestling -- it means there may be a better chance that mats could be available. But even if mats / floor space is not available, "wrestling" play can be done in a standing position, with upper body struggles: bearhugs, pummeling for position, hand fighting. I've done standing "bondage wrestling" at a dungeon where we didn't have any floor space.

Anyway, whew, it is frustrating to think of all of these things and all of these possibilities when we are still probably a long way away from being able to have open communities parties again. But I think it's a good thing to gear up with ideas and potential energy as we all bide our time
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Old 24-Dec-20, 15:06
NewYork NewYork is offline
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Default Re: Have any of you found wrestlers/fighters in your city’s BDSM communities?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DiabloNYC [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I hate to be one of those "back in the day, it was better" people, but I have to knee-jerk agree with NewYork here. The adventurous BDSM / fetish party scene here in NYC has changed a lot over the last decade+ Things *seem* less wild, less "let's just go and see what happens," less "who will I meet tonight?" Several parties I have gone to in recent years have had pre-party vetting processes, bright lighting, people only being interested in interacting with the people they arrived with or already know.
I hate the back in the day people but sometimes it's true. These are just theories but this is why I feel it was better.

1- Before NYC cracked down on dungeons, there were simply more dungeons and therefore more women to go to the parties.
2- MaxFisch.com was at it's peak and subs and Dommes would often converse there, which just made it more likely that people would meet up.
3- Most Dommes no longer want to sit in a small room for 8 hours, competing with other Dommes to session with a client. Most are no pre-booked or Dommes are independent. This is a great thing overall, but it hurt the party scene as many Dommes would want to leave their shift and go for a drink or six.
4- I think this generation is more professional than the past generation. Kids today don't go out like we used to. It's just a different time and partying isn't as important.
5- BDSM got out of the closet to an extent. It's still somewhat taboo, but it's not like it was. People are way more understanding of sexual preferences. Most people that were gay prob stayed in the closet in HS if they could...now it's much easier to come out. This of course is a great thing, but I think the tabooness of BDSM was exciting.

These are just theories and of course I'm missing some and could be totally wrong.
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