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  #21  
Old 07-Jul-19, 17:25
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G-Force G-Force is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

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Originally Posted by jiminy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
While seeing anyone in tears is also not for me, I completely disagree with most of what you've said in this thread. I'm also concerned with your conclusion that it's important to care about boys, but not about men.

IMO, rough and tumble, teasing and even bullying to a certain extent is a part of growing up. You learn the art of give-and-take, standing up for yourself and the ability to take a joke and roll with the proverbial punches of life.

Believe me, a 'grown man' that lived a sheltered, home-schooled, mollycoddled upbringing is going to be far more psychologically damaged by a traumatic event that renders him to tears than if it happened in his childhood/teens.

Kids cry because they feel emotion but lack the maturity to categorise, understand and utilise perception for how they are feeling. The ability to 'deal with it' comes from experience and guidance, not Father Time inevitably granting you that 21+ badge of adulthood.

A child will typically have a support network - parents, teachers, etc, to console them and explain that sometimes in life, we lose and we're the butt of jokes and we feel like shit. It will happen. Talking about it is one thing, but experiencing defeat and actually feeling inadequate, humiliated, shamed, etc, is also necessary at times.

A grown man on the other hand will often have nobody and those around him will expect him to deal with it because he is, well, a grown man. But he can't possibly have mentally developed into a mature adult without these life experiences. To expect it and then have a blasť attitude to their suffering is extremely unfair.
Feel free to disagree all you want, but you apparently took my last sentence waaaay too seriously. I was making a mild joke about men crying to lighten the mood. Thought I made that obvious with the "". Also, if you can show me just ONE instance of a grown ass man actually crying because he lost to a woman in competition you deserve the poster of the century award.

Also early life experiences and how they play out in later adult life is far too vague and varied a subject matter to make such black and white assumptions on your part. I get the point of challenging your kid for personal growth, but you don't throw a kid into a situation he/she CAN'T WIN unless there is a clear benefit or lesson to be had... and even then the end doesn't always justify the means. You can push kids too far and have it backfire. I feel that I've belabored my point here, if you disagree fine, but I'm done speaking on it.

Last edited by G-Force; 07-Jul-19 at 17:50.
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  #22  
Old 07-Jul-19, 21:48
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cbpinfan cbpinfan is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

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Originally Posted by KillerCrushes [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Given your demonstrated lack of reading comprehension, I'm not sure why I'd waste my time replying other than to say....well, that.
Your fragile ego perhaps? Questioning my reading comprehension is laughable considering the fact that you needed to edit a one sentence response.

You made a lot of valid points that I agreed with. I especially agree with your statement regarding competitors of equal weight. May the best person win. Anyone having a problem with that needs to get over themselves. Totally onboard with you there. This is the 21st century, not the Stone Age.

I was troubled regarding your comment about the business of raising boys. Children, regardless of their gender, are going to experience tough times growing up. As a parent, it hurts to see your children hurting. To brush that off saying that one shouldn't be in the business of raising boys is a callous approach that seemingly suggests that you haven't raised any of your own. If that thought is in error, then I beg your pardon.

We definitely got off on the wrong foot, but I hope this better clarifies my position.
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  #23  
Old 08-Jul-19, 11:21
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

To raise another point on the issue of co-ed wrestling in schools, I also don't believe it to be a 'no win situation' for the boy. In competition, you're not a 'bully' if you beat someone you're expected to. They're both there to compete. A bully is someone that deliberately seeks out an easy target. The likes of Federer/Nadal/Djokovic aren't called bullies for beating the lowly ranked players they're pitted against in the first round of Tennis tournaments. It's a formality, there's not much to celebrate, but they didn't make the draw and everyone is competing to win.

Secondly, if the girl has proven herself a formidable wrestler and maybe has a few boys' scalps already, it's the latter stages of a tournament or the match is pivotal for a team, then I'm sure most people would celebrate him winning. Likewise if he loses, he can comfort himself with the fact he's not the only guy she beat and if he is, maybe he needs to raise his game or accept that the sport is not for him. Some guys try out for wrestling and realise the competition is a lot stronger than they thought and quit. It's part of learning.
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  #24  
Old 08-Jul-19, 13:26
PurpleCat PurpleCat is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

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Originally Posted by jiminy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
@[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]

To raise another point on the issue of co-ed wrestling in schools, I also don't believe it to be a 'no win situation' for the boy. In competition, you're not a 'bully' if you beat someone you're expected to. They're both there to compete. A bully is someone that deliberately seeks out an easy target. The likes of Federer/Nadal/Djokovic aren't called bullies for beating the lowly ranked players they're pitted against in the first round of Tennis tournaments. It's a formality, there's not much to celebrate, but they didn't make the draw and everyone is competing to win.

Secondly, if the girl has proven herself a formidable wrestler and maybe has a few boys' scalps already, it's the latter stages of a tournament or the match is pivotal for a team, then I'm sure most people would celebrate him winning. Likewise if he loses, he can comfort himself with the fact he's not the only guy she beat and if he is, maybe he needs to raise his game or accept that the sport is not for him. Some guys try out for wrestling and realise the competition is a lot stronger than they thought and quit. It's part of learning.
I agree. Issue is bystanders don't understand that skill can trump strength; so in their mind, losing to a girl makes you a pussy.
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  #25  
Old 08-Jul-19, 18:10
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Penny Lane Penny Lane is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

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Originally Posted by cashley216 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Generally, girls have more success in the lower weights. The male and female bodies differ less at those weights than higher.
This makes sense because a 110 pound girl is usually of 'normal' size, while a 110 pound boy is generally of underdeveloped stature. At lower weights, factors such as skill & motivation are more likely to determine the winner, which is a good thing since he doesn't have the natural physiological advantage in upper body strength that guys have over girls.

Incidentally, I do have sympathy for a guy that loses a wrestling match to a woman, but I would attribute this more to 'social' factors than his feelings of personal worth. If he loses in front of a bunch of his buddies, he's likely to catch holy hell from them afterward which is why the pre-match pressure is so much greater on him.

Meanwhile, none of the girls' friends are going to shame her for losing to a guy. She'll get mucho credit just for having the nerve to get in there and try.
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  #26  
Old 09-Jul-19, 09:53
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sevenofeight sevenofeight is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

Are we maybe interpreting too much into it when a boy starts crying?

Imagine all the well-known situations when little boys don't get what they want. Their favourite ice cream flavour is sold out, they have to choose between the candy and the chocolate bar instead of getting both, their gift has the wrong color, or whatsoever. How do the boys react? They start crying!

Now, not all of them, but many. It's a typically boyish behaviour. Don't get what you want? Start crying!

Maybe the boys who start crying after loosing to a girl don't do it because they are traumatized or humiliated but just because they didn't get what they wanted, a flaming victory over the girl.
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  #27  
Old 19-Jun-20, 18:13
comanche comanche is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

Well, I don't mean to say this aiming to a real world wrestling, but in a fetish mixed wrestling session I love to see men crying after defeated or beaten by a woman, it's somehow a clear sign of his defeat and humilliation.
Probably not everyone is going to like that.
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  #28  
Old 19-Jun-20, 19:08
freddyboy freddyboy is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

Quote:
Originally Posted by comanche [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
Well, I don't mean to say this aiming to a real world wrestling, but in a fetish mixed wrestling session I love to see men crying after defeated or beaten by a woman, it's somehow a clear sign of his defeat and humilliation.
Probably not everyone is going to like that.
You're right. I don't like what you wrote
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  #29  
Old 19-Jun-20, 22:03
comanche comanche is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

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Originally Posted by freddyboy [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
You're right. I don't like what you wrote
And fortunately I don't care either.
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  #30  
Old 19-Jun-20, 22:17
ssddfaudhey ssddfaudhey is offline
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Default Re: When the Boys Cry

IMO if a boy cry cause he lost to a girl,its s good learning experience.A good indicator he needs to mentally toughen up and parents should of already told him no shame in losing to a girl.The girls kick the boys butts at grappling before puberty.Sometimes after and in adulthood aswell.

Last edited by ssddfaudhey; 19-Jun-20 at 22:39.
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