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Old 01-Sep-20, 06:55
mark.johnson21 mark.johnson21 is offline
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Default Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

I seem to have quite the problem. I'm aroused by the thought of being humiliated by a woman in certain ways (like wedgies, pinned down, and lift and carry), but I don't actually feel humiliated in a session when the session wrestler does these things to me. Physically it feels uncomfortable, and mentally I feel no stimulation whatsoever because, well... I asked her to and it's her job to be able to.

Anybody else have this problem?

Is it impossible to feel humiliated when you privately request it from a session wrestler who obviously can overpower/dominate you, or is humiliation something you can only feel when there's a crowd watching and laughing?
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Old 01-Sep-20, 08:14
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

Forgive an outlier joining this discussion (as my only interest is F/F and maledom fighting), but I've always considered the idea of humiliation for someone into female domination to be a literal impossibility.

To me, it just seemed like a huge dichotomy. How can anyone be genuinely humiliated, if humiliation is the very thing that they crave? As you've said, in a session scenario, any sense of humiliation can surely only be simulated because for all the pain and trash talk or whatever else happens, that individual is basically getting exactly what they asked for. To all intents and purposes, they're in charge the whole time. Which naturally negates any possibility of being humiliated in any true sense of the word.

I've always assumed that's why the elusive quest for 'reality' is such a hotly contested topic on this forum, to such an extent that it recently got its own discussion board. Because it's only in the "real" world where any humiliation could potentially be authentic. So when guys who don't share the this fetish lose in that scenario, be it a football match, wrestling meet, crossfit competition, whatever, there's no ulterior/sexual motive. But even then, it would only be those guys who have a genuine hang-up about "losing to a girl" who might feel particularly humbled.
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Old 01-Sep-20, 10:05
tomjui tomjui is offline
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

I think the humiliation is often found in the surprise element during the session, and in taking away your right to decide. At least for me that's humiliating.

Some examples.

Rage had me in a very good hold, can't remember for sure, but I think it was a painful arm lock that flowed into a camel clutch. I refused to tap even though I was in a lot of pain - and making the accompanying sounds. Rage, being a sane (raging) person, didn't apply more pressure, but turned it into a bodyscissor with sleeper. Then, I did tap - but she responded with: 'no, now you're too late, you should have tapped earlier' and continued to knock me out.

Not sure why exactly (because it was my own fault? because she did it so casually?) but that was for sure humiliating. And super cool

Second example - another Czech lady after some thorough scissoring, squeezing and choking, ended up on my back with her arm around my neck.. Both of us where unaware it was a really good hold. I passed out briefly and actually puked a bit. Not sure if that was more embarrassing or humiliating, maybe both.

Then there was Mysteria from the Submission Room who complained to the camera woman that I wasn't able to take her wrestling beating, and who in another session made me explain in my camera that I was a pussy and a bitch - a request I was very much not inclined to comply with, but the choice wasn't really mine, was it?
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Old 01-Sep-20, 12:04
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

You need to have them ignore your taps.Keep you pinned down despite asking to be let go.Have a session with spectators.
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Old 01-Sep-20, 13:31
FetishWebDev FetishWebDev is offline
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

I have this exact problem and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I haven't figured out any simple answers unfortunately but I have noticed a few key points.

1. Like @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] mentions, I think there needs to be an element of surprise for humiliation to be genuine. This has been my experience. Unfortunately the vast majority of my sessions have not left me feeling humiliated. The pleasure was in the physical aspects of it - being choked out, being sat on, etc.

The exceptions have been with @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register], and Cypruss Allure. In both cases I felt humiliated because they dominated me in ways I was not expecting. And it wasn't really a physical thing - it was what they said to me (or MADE me say, in the case of @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]!).

Generally speaking the dommes that are best at humiliation are 1) older 2) intelligent 3) take their job seriously. We all know the session wrestlers (even dommes as a whole) fitting these 3 criteria are a small minority unfortunately.

To increase the likelihood of her humiliating you, maybe give her more freedom to abuse you so that she ends up doing something unexpected. With both @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] and @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] they got into my head precisely BECAUSE I never really asked them to humiliate me. It came about naturally.

One simple way to make this happen is to make the session more competitive in the sense of if X happens, then you need to do something humiliating - something she is allowed to decide on. Veve humiliated me precisely because I genuinely felt I had a chance at making her submit.

With Cypruss Allure I felt the most humiliated not when we were actively wrestling but once before we even started sessioning. Normally we change clothes and discuss the session before actively wrestling. But one time right when I walked in, after exchanging greetings, she lightly grabbed me by collar and I thought she was just playing. But she wasn't letting go, and making her grip tighter and tighter until she choked me out while still in my street clothes. Total surprise!

2. I have acquired a "tolerance" for humiliation that has made it harder to feel despite craving it.

Getting older also makes it harder because as you get older, you care less about what people think. You're also less fit (most likely) so a girl with dedicated martial arts training being able to beat you is not seen as unreasonable.

Adding a public element I think would really help. I haven't done this yet partly because of logistics but I think I will ultimately end up doing it if only to satisfy this craving. Probably by starting my own production company where people can comment on the videos (not to mention, get some cash for this expensive hobby) or by doing it on a livestream of some kind. Chaturbate would work for this. Maybe go on Chaturbate and take requests - whatever an audience member requests, you have to do!

Another way of doing it is adding some public humiliation aspects to your relationship with the girl outside of wrestling. Maybe take her shopping. There are dommes that explicitly advertise this! I want to try it but I haven't yet just because honestly I'm afraid of what she'll do. This means it would probably work REALLY well. There are ways to do it without getting too crazy - I'm certainly not going to let a girl walk me on a leash in public - but her comments to cashiers, holding her bags, etc would definitely do it for me.

3. Avoid getting too friendly with session wrestlers. I wrote an entire [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] about this because I have noticed many of my sessions are less than satisfying the better we know each other. I suspect this comes from a combination of 1) on her end, it's hard to be mean to someone you like and 2) on your end, the more flaws of hers you're aware of, the harder it is to see her as superior to you.

And yet...the less she knows about you, the harder it will be for her to humiliate you genuinely because she needs to know your insecurities to know what would really hurt you. So it's a fine balancing act.

4. Humiliation is primarily mental, not physical, so maybe try phone sessions? I tried one session on [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] and had a pretty good experience. By "good" I mean it left me feeling so uncomfortable that I'm afraid to call again. And yet I think about the session a lot precisely because she got into my head in unexpected ways.

5. Maybe do double domination sessions (hiring two girls at once). I haven't tried this but I know it would work for me. During one session with Cypruss Allure, Mia and @[Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register] walked in. Unfortunately for me they quickly went into another room (naturally out of respect) but I noticed I felt embarrassed with the presence of other women in the room.


Let us all know what you figure out, I don't think you're the only one with this problem.

Last edited by FetishWebDev; 01-Sep-20 at 14:10.
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Old 01-Sep-20, 23:28
mark.johnson21 mark.johnson21 is offline
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

Very good points and I very much appreciate the time you put in to address my question! I've definitely been thinking about this all day and think there's only a few ways that humiliation can be pleasurable in a session:

1) She surprises you by doing something embarrassing to you that you didn't request but happen to like.
2) She verbally tells you she's going to do certain things to you to build the anticipation.
3) She knows your kinks, and decides to do them to you in a public setting without you asking her to.

For example, say you like to be lifted and carried and she accommodates this in a hotel room. But what if she decides on her own volition to carry you outside down the hall where passersby might see? What if she telephones her friends to come over so they can watch her throw a grown man around? What if she threatens she'll do these things if you're unable to pin her even once in a wrestling match? Now your kink is being satisfied, but it's amplified to a whole new level. What do you think?

A competitive dynamic is definitely preferable to being passive in the session, as the latter feels like she's going down a checklist of requests, and the former feels like she's incorporating your desires naturally. In regards to lift/carry, for instance, maybe we're having a wrestling match, and while my goal is to pin her down, hers is to keep me off the ground.

But I think the above can ONLY work if it feels like she is genuinely enjoying doing these things to you - which means a lot of it has to be her idea. If she doesn't seem to be enjoying it, you'll just feel tolerated/serviced.

I realized something today. I think ultimately I'm trying to feel not so much humiliated, but more like when I was a small child who had crushes on babysitters and girls taller and older than me who could (literally) look down at me like a funny thing to prank, toss around and tease. I think this dynamic is what's at the root of all of this.
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Old 01-Sep-20, 23:35
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qwertyuio qwertyuio is offline
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

I don't know about you guys, but when a session girl legitimately kicks my ass, shoves her foot in my mouth, and spits all over my face and tells me all about it, I feel humiliated regardless of whether I signed up for this or not.
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Old 02-Sep-20, 00:10
mark.johnson21 mark.johnson21 is offline
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

Quote:
Originally Posted by qwertyuio [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I don't know about you guys, but when a session girl legitimately kicks my ass, shoves her foot in my mouth, and spits all over my face and tells me all about it, I feel humiliated regardless of whether I signed up for this or not.
Well sure, but is it humiliation you actually enjoy? That's kinda the point of all this -- enjoying it.
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Old 02-Sep-20, 08:38
ca12345 ca12345 is offline
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mark.johnson21 [Only Registered Users Can See LinksClick Here To Register]
I seem to have quite the problem. I'm aroused by the thought of being humiliated by a woman in certain ways (like wedgies, pinned down, and lift and carry), but I don't actually feel humiliated in a session when the session wrestler does these things to me. Physically it feels uncomfortable, and mentally I feel no stimulation whatsoever because, well... I asked her to and it's her job to be able to.

Anybody else have this problem?

Is it impossible to feel humiliated when you privately request it from a session wrestler who obviously can overpower/dominate you, or is humiliation something you can only feel when there's a crowd watching and laughing?

Do you have real life experiences that you liked and the sessions haven’t lived up to those? Or did you just imagine that the sessions would be more fulfilling than they ended up being? It’s hard to tell if the particular women you sessioned with didn’t click with you enough or if the fantasy is just greater than the reality.

I’ve had real matches against women I’ve known and there is a certain aspect of those that will always feel different than a session. But the sessions I have had haven’t disappointed at all and they all still felt like mutual matches. It never felt like I was just paying them to do it. While it might not be the same as wrestling someone you know, they’re uniquely strong, skilled, etc and can wrestle for as long as you want. Whereas a real match may end in a few minutes.

Having another girl watching the match might help. When I’ve wrestled in front of another girl, it’s interesting to see how they react. Trying different session girls may help too. Maybe it’s just a matter of finding one with the right personality or the intuition to know what you’re looking for. Some girls are better at that than others and a girl who will be a great match for one guy could be a so-so matchup for another.
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Old 02-Sep-20, 15:57
mark.johnson21 mark.johnson21 is offline
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Default Re: Humiliation - is it even possible in sessions?

I have had real life experiences with lift and carry that I liked -- and they usually were in the form of a playful challenge or bet with a female friend or date. I guess the anticipation, playful aspect, and her eagerness to do it was what made it enjoyable. Also, there was a mutual level of attraction, and they didn't know I was turned on by being lifted. If they did, they might find it weird and not oblige, of course.

Oddly, the lifts and carries I fantasize about are not like this at all, rather, they're all about the woman shocking the man by brazenly grabbing his crotch by surprise and easily lifting him off the ground, often in a public setting, before casually tossing him aside like trash. I've never experienced this, yet that seems to be the main allure of the fetish for me - that understanding of "I'm gonna instill in your mind a painful truth that you need to know about yourself and your place in the world -- that you're a weak boy that can't stop girls from overpowering and treating you like garbage because you're inferior to us."

But in order for that message to be received, you have to be fighting to prevent her from doing such a thing to you and lose. But if you're hiring a session wrestler to do this to you, it seems counter intuitive to try to prevent her from doing the very thing you're hiring her to do, somehow, right? Or is the idea she is so good at doing this that it doesn't matter whether you try to prevent her, she's gonna be able to do it anyway?

I definitely imagined the sessions would be more fulfilling, but really only one of the four I had was enjoyable -- and that's probably because it was the only one in which I asked for sensual domination to be included (which resulted in her insisting on giving me a happy ending - so if nothing else, I got off). I've never incorporated wrestling into a session, and maybe it makes a difference that I've always been very passive in them. Actively trying to prevent her from doing the stuff I want her to do me seems counter intuitive to being there, somehow.
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