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#1
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benefit of psychotherapy
Does psychotherapy has any benefits in dealing with this fetish ?
What‘s your opinion ? |
#2
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
Psychotherapy can bring you more acceptance of your fetish. I was troubled by my attraction to wrestling as a kid and I had a counselor and his "what is the big deal" attitude helped me, I have to admit.
If you're trying to fix or change your fetish, I doubt you will get any real help as there are no real accepted solutions for changing sexual desires. The book The Brain That Changes Itself has a chapter on how fetishes develop ("Acquiring Tastes and Loves") - this is the closest I've come as to how fetishes develop and the chapter hints at a potential way to change fetishes. In general I don't like therapists because they are not incentivized to help you fix your problems - quite the opposite. The more you need to "talk" the more money they get. On top of that, many of them are extremely biased towards traditional relationships causing them to be judgmental about paying for sexual services. If you look on fetlife.com, you can find some "kink friendly" ones. Those would probably be the most helpful. Last edited by FetishWebDev; 06-Nov-22 at 06:53. |
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#3
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
For an overall quite harmless and common fetish like this it's not really worth the money and the mental stress to try and "fix" it
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#4
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
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And when it is legitamized and people here say "nothing wrong" with that I see it as a problem. I'm here way too much, but if it affected my ability to have a "good" sex life with my wife and having to fantasize about this (and not be in the moment) or be put in wrestling holds to be aroused and perform, that it an issue. When it affects time spent with others or work and other hobbies, then it is a problem. |
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#5
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
I enjoy psychotherapy as a subject – but I don't think it's too hot on 'fixes' .. The system is designed to keep people in therapy .. So doctors prefer to refer patients to things like cognitive behavioural therapy – which is much less interesting, but much more practical.
Sex therapists are much better equipped to deal with sexual issues (obviously) .. And I'd say you want someone who can offer surrogate sex therapy – reason being that they will be a real sex therapist .. A lot of online directories of therapists let people call themselves whatever they want .. So chances are you'll just wind up with some councillor or psychology grad .. A surrogate sex therapist is actually fixing people – so it's like finding a martial arts instructor who's actually competed; big difference. My perspective is that the fetish isn't the real issue .. Time I spent on the NoFap Reddit showed me that millions of ppl have exactly the same issues, whether they're into mixed wrestling, S&M or vanilla porn .. It's basically just an addiction to porn/masturbation, and you can get so burnt out on it that only the most fetish/kink stuff you're into gets you off anymore – regular sex is pretty low bandwidth and not even very physical compared to what we're into .. So when you start with a surrogate sex therapist, the key thing is that you abstain from masturbation and porn while you're getting treatment .. That may even be 99% of the recovery process .. But the NoFap crowd know all the issues we get inside out, and it's completely treatable .. Basically, a kink is a good thing – keeps relationships way more interesting, so long as you get a healthy balance. |
#6
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
Thank you all for your comments 👍
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#7
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
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#8
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
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Girls have all got kinks .. So when a girl's horny, you know about it .. But when a girl isn't, they can still be very turned on by kinks .. But most girls don't want all sex to have to start with restraint or role play – they obv. tend to want intimacy and connection more than achieving an outcome. So I think the basic reason abstaining works (which doesn't have to be 100%) is you lower the get resensitised to regular levels of arousal .. If you haven't ejaculated in 10 days, a girl just putting her hand down there can be enough .. But some of the worst cases on NoFap took 300+ days. |
#9
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
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Other than NoFap (I'd like to hear more about what you think about it) For me personally, even if I jerked off the day of, if a girl puts her hand on my dick it's gonna get hard. Depending on the circumstances of course, but generally I can still get it up |
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#10
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Re: benefit of psychotherapy
I’m a believer that you need 90 days monk mode to see the superpowers.
Stacking nofap with diet, weight training and cardio helps take you to the next level. Really get the most out of it. Cold showers. Reading. Even meditating. I gave up sugar too. I was 3 weeks in, on about a 22 day streak and feeling low. Flatlines tend to hit me hard. Suddenly a female co worker says “your eyes are looking bright” …. I thought there and then there must be something to this. I realised my vision had improved too. Personally I’m of the opinion that semen retention is the key to unlocking the superpowers. There’s a lot about it that’s not recognised by science but I reckon theres something to it. |
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